Disclaimer: I do not own anything in the Twilight world (imagines what it would be like and wishes I did) Sorry if anyone seems slightly ooc, but truly, only Stephenie Meyer can really capture these characters so please forgive me if they are.
Ghost Of My Past
Edward lied motionless of the hard floor next to the piano where he had fallen; his eyes closed. He could vaguely make out Bella and Carlisle's panicked cries as they shook him. But they were muffled, as if they were underwater, miles away from him. Through the thick haze he saw himself. He was seven-years-old; it was Christmas morning.
--- Seven-year-old Edward Mason look horrified at the lump of coal in his hands. He looked up skeptically at his parents. He knew they were poor and that they couldn't afford to exchange presents with each other, but he thought maybe, just maybe, Santa would bring him something. Nothing extravagant, just a small toy to get him through the next year. "Why do you look so surprised Edward?" his mother sneered. "Do you think you deserve presents?"
"I---I didn't think I w—was bad…"
"Well you thought wrong! Honestly Edward! You're the most selfish spoiled brat I've ever met! Why can't you ever just appreciate what we have?" Edward looked around at what little they had, most of which belonged to his parents and he was forbidden to touch. "Speaking of presents…" His mother pulled a small, beautifully wrapped present from the nearby closet, looking lovingly at her husband. "I know I wasn't supposed to, what with our little money, but I couldn't resist. Smiling, Mr. Mason pulled out a pair of stunning, very expensive, diamond earrings. Hot tears rose as Edward watched his parents fuss with their gifts. Suddenly, his mother reached over and struck him across the cheek. "Look at you right now! Staring at us with that greedy, selfish look in your eyes! You can't even be happy for us! You're horrible Edward! Horrible! Get out!!! I don't want to see you!" Edward got up and raced to the back of his house, hand to his stinging face, sobbing. ---
Instantly, Edward sat up bolt right, shaking violently. Bella through her arms around him and began her non-stop interrogation. "Edward!!! What happened? What's wrong? It was like you were unconscious! I thought you couldn't do that! Edward what's wrong! You scared me! I---." Her words died as she saw the pained look in his eyes. Edward fell forward, his head in her chest. She stroked his soft, bronze hair. His chest was heaving as he tried to stifle his tearless crying. Carlisle put a gentle hand on his shoulder and slowly he sat up, hunched over with his hands on his knees.
"Edward," he began, concerned, but you could hear the urgency in his voice. "What happened?"
"I saw…" he muttered, mulling over how to phrase it. "I saw myself I believe. I'm not really sure, it was hazy, but I think I saw myself. It was Christmas. I was very young, no more than eight-years-old."
Carlisle's eyes widened at Edwards response. "You saw yourself?" Bella whispered softly. "Like a memory? From when you were human?" Edward shrugged, regaining some of his composure now.
"What did you see?" Carlisle asked.
"Please, if you don't mind, I'd rather not talk about it now." He couldn't mask the anguish in his voice. "But I will tell you; soon." He added, knowing they would immediately contradict his decision to keep it secret, but not making any promises to himself to follow through.
Suddenly, everyone turned as Alice appeared at the foot of the stairs, shaken and rattled looking. Her and Edward's eyes met and an understanding passed between them; they had both seen it. "Oh Edward…" she murmured. Edward forced a half smile.
"I'm ok." He whispered unconvincingly. Bella took his hands in his and gripped them tightly. She could hardly stand to see him in so much pain, and wanted nothing more than to share it with him. But, stubborn as he was, he wouldn't budge. He let go of her hands and kissed her lips gingerly. "Give it some time Bella. Don't worry, I'll confide in you soon enough. It's just…too soon." He reached up and wiped her tears. "Please don't cry."
Despite Edward's coaxing tone, Bella could not stop the flow of tears. Edward sighed. "Come on." He whispered. "It's late. Charlie's expecting you home." Bella followed him reluctantly, knowing he was right. She shot one last, desperate glance at Carlisle, who grimaced but nodded.
The following day, Edward wasn't in school. Bella could hardly focus on her schoolwork as worry clouded her thoughts. 'Why does he have to be so stubborn?' She thought angrily.
"So, where's your boyfriend today?" Jessica asked, noticing Edward's absence in the cafeteria. 'Why is he trying to play hero? Shouldering everything on his own!' "Bella?" 'Pigheaded…why won't he just tell us what's wrong? The way he was acting…' "Bella!" 'Doesn't he understand that we just care about him?' "BELLA!" Bella snapped back into reality.
"What?" Jessica sighed.
"I said, where's Edward today?" she repeated herself, irritated
"That's what I'd like to know." Bella responded, anxiety evident in her voice. Jessica softened a little and put an arm around her shoulders.
"Don't worry, I'm sure he's just sick. He'll be here tomorrow." But Bella was preoccupied again. 'Edward where are you?'
Edward picked himself dazedly off the floor for the third time that morning. His visions were growing more intense. They were becoming more vivid, and more emotional. Before he had never given much thought to what his past was like, but he never imagined it like this. He walked over into the living room, steadying himself against the wall, feeling faint again. Upon reaching the couch, he let himself fall, lying face-first into the throw-cushions. He lay in that state for well over an hour, feet crossed at the ankles, and an arm slung off the edge. He sighed audibly. "I need to see a shrink." He muttered. "I'm losing it."
"I'm not sure that would work with you particular problem." Edward sat up slowly, turning to look at the voice of Carlisle behind him.
"What are you doing here?" Edward inquired, anger hinted in his voice.
"I'd heard you ditched school. I came to see if you were ok."
Edward hissed, mentally cursing whoever ratted him out.
"I'm fine." He snarled. "Go back to work."
"Edward. You can't deny that something is wrong. I don't see why you won't share it with me."
"It doesn't concern you."
"It concerns you. Therefore it concerns me as well. You need not to shut everybody out."
"Look, it's my problem. No one else's. You and everyone else need to just leave me alone."
"Edward!" He was startled by the tone of Carlisle's voice. "You just don't understand. Everyone is worried about you. Bella especially. She came to the hospital today to see me. About you."
"What? When?"
"After school. It's 4 in the afternoon." Edward jerked his head around, eyes darting over the room, expecting to see four pairs of eyes curiously watching him.
"Where are the others?" he asked carefully, still expecting them to show up and ambush him.
"They're upstairs. I told them not to bother you."
"And uh…where's Bella?"
"Right here." A small voice came from the other room, and Bella walked slowly into view. Her eyes were red and there were fresh tears on her cheeks.
"Bella?" she flushed, noting the obvious disapproval in his voice. She went slowly to his side. "What are you doing here?" Bella looked away. She could feel his glare pounding into her. Thankfully, Carlisle stepped in.
"Edward. I think you should tell us what's going on."
Edward sighed, defeated. "I'm just sort of seeing things from my past. Nothing interesting."
"What do you see?"
"Just normal stuff but…they're not really all that happy."
"Everyone has unpleasant parts of their past Edward." Bella whispered gently. "You seemed so shaken—"
"Exactly." Edward cut in, ignoring the last half of her sentence. "Everyone has unpleasant memories, so just let me deal with mine on my own." He said defiantly, shifting his gaze away from them and across the room, staring down the empty hallway. Bella put a hand on his shoulder tenderly, but he immediately shrugged away from her. She gasped almost inaudibly, too quiet for any normal human to detect. Although, obviously Edward could hear her distress. He turned back and looked at her face, surprised to find her hurt and discomforted. He sighed. "Bella, I don't mean to push you away…really," he added seeing her panic, "but do you think I can be alone for a little while? I need to think. And Carlisle…I might need to talk to you later."
Bella, eyes stinging from holding back tears, nodded, understanding but saddened at Edward withdrawing himself from her.
"I'll drive you home on my way back to work." Carlisle murmured delicately. As she turned to leave, Edward reached out and took her hand in his own.
"Don't worry about me." He tried his best to put forward a grin. "I'll be at school tomorrow. It'll be ok." He leaned forward and brushed his lips lightly against her cheek. "I love you Bella." She nodded and left, tears streaming silently down her face.
A knock sounded throughout Edward's room. "Come in." he muttered breathlessly. Carlisle slipped inside and Edward looked up from his seated position on the couch. Carlisle went and sat himself down beside him.
"I think we need to talk." He said simply. Edward shrugged, seemingly uninterested. "You said you've been seeing things…" he prompted, trying to get Edward to explain further.
"It's more than that." He mumbled reluctantly, giving in. "They have been coming more frequently and now…" he paused, inhaling deeply, "I've begun to feel physical pain. Things that happened to my past self, I feel as I'm watching. It's almost as if I'm reliving it." He looked at Carlisle patiently, waiting to see what his diagnosis would be.
"I'm not really sure what to make of that. I've never heard of anything like it." Edward nodded in agreement.
"How is Alice?" he asked, concerned.
"Fine." Carlisle replied. "She hasn't seen anything else since. She says that she feels odd emotions, but she is blinded from these memories." Edward nodded, glad that Alice did not have to suffer with him, but a grim look still rested upon his face.
"I thought," he started, with a look that said he had pondered over this for a while, "I thought you said my mom actually cared. From your story of when you saved me, it always seemed different from what I'm experiencing now." Carlisle sighed.
"That was not your birth mother. It was your mother's sister, your aunt. She and her husband took you in before you had turned nine. You eventually, it seemed, suppressed your traumatizing memories and after a while was able to lead a normal life." Edward stared at him incredulously.
"Why would you keep something like this from me?" he asked angrily.
"I felt no need to tell you. Carlisle responded plainly. Edward stood up and stormed swiftly out of his bedroom. Carlisle followed him. "Where are you going?" he called.
"Out." Edward replied heatedly. He marched through the front room and out into the yard, surprised to see that the sun, beginning to set, had peaked out slightly from behind the clouds as opposed to this morning's gray and bleak overcast. Before Carlisle could decide to follow him, he was gone. He faded into the wind as he blindly sprinted through the forest, irritated at everything.
Within a few short minutes, he had arrived at his destination, not a bit out of breath and looking nonetheless disheveled; it was as if he had simply gone out for a stroll. Slowly, he made his way out into a nearby clearing, one that was very familiar and always soothed him: his meadow. He felt the warmness of the sun rest upon him lightly, and as he surveyed the memorable scene, he was shocked to find something that was not usually there.
"Bella?"
AN:// A fanfic resurrected. I actually started this a few months ago and never finished. I think it turned out ok though…maybeh?? 00 Anyways, it feels good to write a fanfic again! (curses writers block) Of course once my writers block was finally cured, thanks to NaNoWriMo, I could not seem to get fanfictions going, just original ideas. But yep yep, here you go! My first Twilight fic. Review please!!! Constructive criticism is welcomed but flames are kinda scary and I'm not fond of them after receiving one once so (begs) please don't flame meh! (offers you a cookie)