I write this one-shots as they come to me. I just drop everything and start to write. I can't be the only person who does. Anyway. This one is a little depressing but I hope you like just the same.

I never told him about my other masters. I didn't want to in fear he would send me back. I thought he was going to be the one to watch me as I became a Jedi Knight but no he was the one that took away everything, the one glimmer of hope I had. Now I wish Plo Koon had never found me. I wish I had died on Shili by the Akul. I wish…I wish….

I had had two masters before Skywalker. My first was Orpah Pauli. She was a gentle yellow Twi'lek. Always encouraging and loving, she was much older than Anakin. It wasn't like Skyguy and me. She was like my mother. She taught me how to master Shien form and was the reason I never broke out of it. She always said to me, "Ahsoka, I may be old and I know there are more violent forms but I guarantee you that you can get out of anything with a good Shiengrip."

I remember her death so vividly; we were on a moon of Iego during the Separatist invasion. We were trying to save the Angels, so beautiful and soft-spoken. The angels lived in the high dwells of the red rock. The Separatists had positioned charges to go off at the base making sure to kill them. We were too late to discharge them, they were already going off. My master rushed to the rocks and used all she could to hold it up. She didn't let me help. She said,

"Stay back Ahsoka! You are too inexperienced to do this."

The exact second the last creature had flow out, she let it all go. Letting it crush her. I never got to say good-bye. I cried so hard that day. Some of the Angels comforted me but the wound was too deep. That day was the first time I had ever experienced the death of a loved one. I came back to the temple with a clone commandeer and not a master. They kept me there for six months until they reassigned me to Davinia Maximo. She was a Jedi but so quiet and reserved, almost mouse like except she could fight and fight well. She was human with long hair that was dyed blue and always in a practical ponytail. She taught me how to lead, one of the reasons I was so sassy to Master Skywalker. She was also the one who taught me about attachments. I never grew extremely close to her, she made sure of that. Still when she died, it hurt.

She died on the battled field. Droids and tanks surrounded us. She took out the tanks but didn't expect the droidekas behind her. I often wonder if I had just been there next to her if she would of lived.

Again, I came back to the temple with a clone instead of my master. The other students talked behind my back, calling me "The Cursed Padawan." When I was assigned to the Chosen One, I was scared that he would want me because of my background. Apparently, he didn't know the deaths so I acted as the new padawan. I admit I was reckless and much too sassy but Anakin excepted me. I was always afraid of losing him.

And I did.

I lost him to the dark side. I should have known. It was me. Me. The Cursed Padawan.

I never became a knight even after three masters. Now I know that life isn't fair. I now hold my lightsaber in hand. This is the end. I, the cursed padawan, will stop killing masters. It will be so easy. I will escape everything. I bring my lightsaber closer to my chest.

"This is for my masters!"

It goes in deep. It is painful but I smile anyway. It is my escape. Like my first master said, I can get out of anything with a good Shien grip.

Even Life.