When we blur the lines, that's when we begin to fall. We step across boundaries that had been implied, but never carved. Never shown. Just supposed. Places where they say we're not supposed to go. And if we do, then to hell with it! They just point the finger and declare us horrid.
These lines were safeguards. They were only meant to keep up from desires. From what we want. From what we wanted. Be death the consequence, I no longer care. I have what I want. I have what I needed. For so long we have yearned, we have needed, and we have been denied. Not any longer. No more.
But first, what makes what we do so horrible? Is it our gender? Is it because we're both female? Well, that may have some effect on what others see us as, but it is not the whole reason.
It runs deeper, and runs thicker. Blood. We're related, but that didn't stop us. How can you stop what can't be denied? What you can't end. What you can't postpone.
We tried, oh we tried. We tried to keep away. We were friends, and we both wanted it to stay that way. We were scared, truth be told. Afraid of what it would do to our friendship. Afraid of what we'd feel, what we'd do. But the feeling of lips brushing softly, fingers tracing gently, skin against skin . . .
It was too much.
And we couldn't keep away. After the first innocent – yes, innocent is appropriate for the initial circumstance – kiss we were hooked. Like it was a drug, we needed more. We craved the experience. Craved each other. Judge us as you will, I don't care. Not anymore.
It progressed. Our actions and emotions matching. They grew like wildfire. Spreading and exploding. Growing more dangerous as time ticked by relentlessly. We took every second we could. Not a one was wasted. Whether my hands were in her soft, golden hair, or trailing fire down her exposed, tan flesh. We made use of what precious time we had.
It passed in a blur, yet it remained burned and ingrained in my mind, and hopefully in yours. Every sensation, every touch. Every moan and sigh and movement. It's still there, and it always will be.
Then there was the worry.
No one could know. There were so many secrets, so many lies. We fought now to keep the truth concealed. It hurt me, but it hurt her so much more. I think it broke her heart every time she to deny or admit false feelings. Especially when I had to.
We would fight. When no one was around. She would scream until she cried. She hated having to lie. She hated that I had to lie. But we both knew it was essential. We could be together, but only in secret.
We crossed lines again and again. Bringing to each other love in a physical manifestation. We would lie breathless, then. Staring into each others eyes while reality began to blur and consciousness faded. We would seek each others warmth. The soft, caring, gentle embrace that would make everything else go away.
We sought ways to make reality blur. To get rid of the ugly truths. To keep at bay the hounds that wished to rip us to pieces. I cried. I cried on her shoulder so many times. She was smaller than me, form frailer, and yet she could comfort me in ways that I couldn't. Her happy, fiery smiles could melt any ice that grew on my heart. She was my peace. She is my solace.
My everlasting serenity.
Now I'm beside her. No lights but what comes through the windows. Soft starlight. She's breathing quietly, pressed against me. Her breath tickles my skin as we lay. She asleep, I'm not. I'm awake, exploring the expanses of our love. The air is cold, and the covers bring little relief. But she gives me all the warmth I need.
Peace. Calm. These halcyon nights mean more to me than anything else. And I always go to sleep praying that they won't end. Of course, when one ends, it just means that soon another can begin.
My dearest Rikku. You gave me what I needed most: Love. And I have returned it to you without regret. And together, we proved that the imaginary lines can be crossed. That we can make the world blur. If only for a short while at a time. That's all I need. That's all we need. Is for our troubles to blur.
Author's Note: Just another completely random thought.