Worthless Chapter One: Hey Little One
The rain was pounding against the car windows. The only sounds that could be heard were the rain and the sound of Sam fast asleep in Dean's lap. John had put Sam and Dean in the car while he was talking to the staff of the cheap motel. There was a sign in the window that Dean knew his father was mad about. He couldn't read yet, but John told him that the hotel did not have any rooms available but he was going to see what he could do. This was the third motel that John had visited that night. There was a large festival in town that drew in a lot of people. All the good hotels and the cheap hotels were all full.
Dean had no idea what was going on. It was only two years ago that his mother was killed. His six year old mind couldn't even begin to process what was going on. Sammy was two now and Dean was in charge of him. His father was never around for them anymore. Dean remembered the week after his mom was killed John told him:
"Now you listen here boy. I know that your mom is gone. I know that you are scared but you have to suck it up. For Sammy. I am going to make this right Dean. I am going to get whoever killed her. I know you are young but you need to take care of Sammy no matter what. I am leaving you in charge of what happens. You got that?"
Dean didn't even know what to say. What could he say? He was a four year old that just lost his mom. He just looked at his Dad in shock. How was he going to take care of Sammy? He wanted to help his brother, he did. He just had no idea how. Dean just learned how to dress himself a couple months back. How was he supposed to look after a baby?
"Dean. Answer me." John said in a blunt voice. Dean was scared. Why would his daddy be so mad at him? What did he do wrong? Dean couldn't find the courage to talk. His heart was racing all of a sudden John snapped him out of his thoughts by yelling "answer me dammit!" the yelling was followed by a quick slap to the face.
Dean was stunned. Daddy had never hit him before. There was no way that Daddy would ever hit him. Dean answered quickly holding back the tears as best as he could, "yes daddy". Sammy had begun crying when John called out. Dean was too stunned from the slap to even notice that Sammy was crying.
"Look what you did Dean! You upset Sammy!" John then walked to the small kitchen in the small motel room and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. "You better quiet him down Dean."
Dean then suddenly sprang into action. The trembling four year old grabbed ahold of the baby and started to bounce him a little up and down while whispering nonsense sounds to him to quiet him down. Dean had seen his mother do this for Sammy whenever he got upset. The thought of his mommy brought some tears to his eyes as he continued to bob Sammy up and down. Sammy then quieted down and fell asleep. Dean just sat on the faded bed comforter on the hard motel bed with Sammy in his lap. He was too afraid to set Sammy down. Dean knew that his dad was drinking. Dean also knew that his dad changed. That was the first time of many that his father ever struck him.
Dean came out of his daze when a crack of thunder sounded. The thunder still scared Dean a little bit. He hated the loud banging. Sammy always managed to sleep through storms. Sammy was never afraid of thunder. Dean hated it even more when his head hurt. Just last night Dean had fallen off of the kitchen counter of another motel while trying to get a bowl to put Sammy's food in. He had lost his footing and slipped off the cheap counter top. On the way down he managed to clock his head on the counter. Dean could feel a large bump on the side of his head. He decided not to tell his dad. He knew his dad would not be worried about Dean falling. Dean couldn't help but feel that his dad would not care about Dean at all.
Dean was just an object to his father. He was just there to take care of Sammy while his dad left them in motel rooms. Dean hated it. He thought that his father loved him before. Now everything was all about taking care of Sammy. Part of Dean hated his brother for being so special. But Dean could never fully hate Sammy. None of it was his fault. It was all Dean's fault. He wasn't good enough for his father.
John came out of the motel and went back to the car. He opened the backseat door and said, "Alright we got a room. Luckily someone left early. Get Sammy and follow me."
Dean quickly sprang into action. He unfastened Sammy's car seat and picked him up. Sammy was a little groggy, and started to whine about being woken up.
'Shh Sammy, we are going to a nice room now. We will be inside soon then you can sleep some more, ok?" Dean whispered into Sammy's hair as he carried him out of the car. Sammy was still a little bit heavy for him to carry. Every time he carried Sammy his arms hurt a little bit. Dean was a lot skinnier than he was supposed to be. Dean just thought it was because he was too weak. He wished that he could be strong.
Dean followed his father into the motel room. Quickly he laid Sammy on the bed and he started to arrange the pillows and blankets in a horse shoe shape so that Sammy would be comfortable and not roll off of the bed. Next he took out and organized all of Sammy's things.
The both of them only had four outfits. Sammy's were new because he was growing and he needed more clothes than Dean. Dean could still fit in his clothes from last year. Dean wasn't growing that much.
"Aright boy, I'm going out. Watch your brother." John said after he took the last bag inside.
Dean responded with a swift, "yes sir" as he continued to set up the motel room for them. John then left slamming the door as he left. As the door slammed, Dean couldn't help but cringe because of his head and the screaming two year old that was just waken up.
Sammy started to wail loudly. Dean then made his way to the bed and picked him up. "Sammy it's ok. Everything is fine don't worry, it was just the door." It was a good couple of minutes before the crying subsided into tiny hiccups.
Dean was grateful that it didn't take too long. "Hey Sammy, it's time for a bath!" Sammy actually had to be the only toddler that liked baths. Sammy nodded furiously "Yay!"
There go the loud noises again. Dean really wished that Sammy would have slept for a little while longer so that his headache would go away. Dean then got Sammy's clothes together and walked into the bathroom. When Dean flipped on the switch the light turned on and the fan for the bathroom was painfully loud. Dean couldn't help but groan again.
"Deanie? What's wrong?" Sammy asked as he pulled Dean's sleeve.
"Nothing Sammy. The fan is just really loud." Dean said as he sighed then walked over to the bath tub. Dean pulled the rusty tub handle and began to let the water run.
"Deanie!" Sammy yelled on the top of his lungs, scaring Dean almost into the tub.
Dean looked back, "What's wrong?"
"Gotta go potty." Dean sighed and told Sammy, "That's good! You are such a big boy now!" Sammy then managed to hold it until he was on the toilet seat. This was an improvement. The last three nights he had went on himself before he made it to the toilet. Dean was trying his best to get Sammy to use the toilet. His father told him that he had a week to teach Sammy to use the toilet because diapers were too expensive.
Even Dean knew that was too much responsibility to put on a six year old. There was no way that a six year old should be responsible for potty training another child. Sammy gladly exclaimed "Done!"
"Good! I am so proud of you Sammy!" Dean said with a large smile on his face. Dean really was impressed with his brother. Dean cleaned him up and put him in the bath tub.
Sammy then yelled, "Ducky!" how could Dean forget Ducky? Ducky was a rubber duck that Dean stole for Sammy to play with in the bath tub. It was the very first thing that Dean had stolen from a store. Dean knew that Sammy wanted Ducky and he just took it. Dean didn't mind as long as it made Sammy happy. When John found out he had hit him over it. But Dean didn't care. Sammy was happy and that was all that mattered.
Bath time went on as it usually did and Dean took Sammy out, dried him, and clothed him. Dean then took Sammy outside the bathroom. "Ok Sammy time for dinner." Dean looked into the canvas bag that John usually stocked with food for them. He was shocked to see that there were only two slices of bread and two slices of cheese in the fridge. Dean's stomach sank. This would be the third day without him having a substantial meal and he was feeling extremely weak.
"Alright Sammy, looks like I'm making you a grilled cheese." Dean said. Sammy was happy. He loved cheese so much. Dean turned on the TV to distract Sammy while he cooked. He was pretty good at using the stove. If he stood on a chair he could reach the front two burners but that was all. All he needed was one burner half the time anyway. Dean made the grilled cheese and hopped off of the chair. He then ripped it up into smaller pieces for Sammy so he wouldn't choke. He winced slightly because the cheese was still a little hot. Dean put it on a paper towel and gave it to Sammy.
"Here ya go Sammy." Dean said as he gave the paper towel to him. Sammy grinned and stated to dig into his sandwich pieces.
"Where's yours?" Sammy asked with a mouth full of grilled cheese.
"Oh, ugh I already ate mine. It was good! There is extra cheese, so I am going to eat it!" Dean said as he rubbed his stomach. Sammy laughed and continued to watch Scooby Doo as he ate his dinner. Dean took out the piece of cheese from the fridge. Dean's stomach felt like a rock. He was so hungry. Maybe if he ate the cheese slowly it would last him longer. Dean ate the cheese slice. Who was he kidding? It didn't fill him up at all. Dean groaned and then made his way back to the bed where Sammy was sitting. They continued to watch cartoons until eight, which was Sammy's bedtime.
"Alright, it's bedtime." Dean said. Sammy groaned. He wanted to stay up later, but Dean was not having it he quickly brushed Sammy's teeth and then placed him in bed. For the amount of fighting that Sammy always gave Dean about bedtime, he always fell asleep fast.
Dean was now left by himself. This was always his quiet time. Dean's stomach was still growling loudly. It hurt so badly. Dean thought that maybe if he tidied up a little bit then he would be distracted from the pain. Dean looked under the bed to see if he could find one of Sammy's shoes.
He was surprised to find something else. A dollar bill! Dean was so happy. It was a whole dollar! He hurriedly grasped the money and pushed himself out from underneath the bed. Dean smiled. He knew that there was a vending machine inside the hotel lobby. Dean thought to himself, if only he had a granola bar or a bag of chips. His stomach would feel so much better.
He knew that he wasn't supposed to leave Sammy, but he was so hungry. Dean put on his shoes and his jacket. He looked at Sammy who was sound asleep. It will be fine. I am only running out for a quick couple of minutes. Sammy will be just fine.
Dean walked out and made sure that the door locked behind him. He ran down the hallway and down the rickety stairs to the lobby. Before he could open the door something grabbed him and dragged him into a room.
"LET GO OF ME!" Dean screamed as he tried to kick whoever was holding onto him. His heart was pounding. Whoever grabbed him was strong.
He heard the door of the room slam behind him and the chain lock be put on the door. Dean was shaking and shivering. What was going on? He was so stupid to leave Sammy. What if he wasn't ok? Dean was freaking out. He didn't know what to do.
"Listen here kid. I've been watching you since you and your brother and old man came into this motel. You are mine and you are about to give me what I want or I will go after that little brother of yours. You hear me?" The man had a beard and a balding head. He was dressed in ragged clothing and had thick glasses. His appearance alone creeped Dean out. Dean knew that he was in trouble but he had to do it.
"Listen to this kid, I'll even pay you. As long as you don't talk I will give you twenty bucks. Now who will it be you or your brother?" Dean freaked out. Of course he wasn't going to let Sammy go near this psycho.
"I-I'll d-do it." Dean barely managed to say with his weak voice. Then man just smiled and threw him on the bed.