Disclaimer: I do not own Revolutionary Girl Utena, and it would be immensely foolish of you to think otherwise.
Out of Character-ness is generally assumed to be in a parody fic, so please do not be technical in that field. I eliminated what OOC-ness I could, but some elements may be crucial to the storyline. I would also be most grateful for any reviews.
This is both the first piece of fan-fiction I have written, being more used to original works, and the first piece I am putting online, so please do be kind^-^. I hope you enjoy the story.
For the Revolution of the… S'more?
"How nice of Mr. Ohtori to lend us his red convertible!" Utena remarked. Saionji snorted.
"He has a motive behind letting us use Ohtori Academy's private beach. I do not trust him at all." Anthy just smiled emotionlessly as she, Utena, Saionji, Juri, and Miki unpacked the trunk. Touga didn't help, instead enjoying the feeling of the sea breeze blowing through his hair. Today, he thought gleefully, was the day he would get to see Utena in a swimsuit. He could see it now…
"What is this, Touga?" Juri's irritated voice cut through his daydreams like a rapier.
"What?" he asked disbelievingly, to se Juri's finger pointing at a huge, white manila envelope tucked between Utena's surfboard and Anthy's four-tiered lunch box. Miki clicked his stopwatch and pulled the envelope out. His eyes widened.
"The rose seal!" he breathed. and quickly pulled out his miniature notebook to record the time and the occurrence of the event. Touga snatched the envelope from Miki and pulled out a letter with overly frilly edges, scented with rose perfume.
"You will feel inclined to duel, signed, End of the World." Everyone looked at each other in a tense silence, except for Anthy, who was looking for ChuChu.
"Idiot!" Saionji said, "I don't even have my practice sword with me." Juri rolled her eyes.
"Be more respectful to End of the World, please," Miki said. Juri held in a laugh.
"What does he mean by that anyway, and who is End of the World?" Utena asked, scratching her head. "We're at the beach." Miki took the envelope back and turned it over. There was a scramble to retrieve the marshmallows, chocolate bars, graham crackers, and metal skewers that fell out. Sighing, Juri reached down to pick up the bar of dark chocolate that had fallen on her feet.
"How childish. Let's go, Mickey." Juri shouldered her portable cabana and grabbed her designer beach bag. She and Miki walked down to the beach purposefully, him struggling under the weight of an enormous cooler that held ingredients for making his famous vanilla milkshakes.
"Wait!" Utena called, trying to juggle her surfboard, wetsuit, towel, volleyball, and volleyball net. "Himemiya, what's taking so long? Do you need help carrying anything?"
"Sorry, Miss Utena, but I can't find ChuChu's swim trunks. Utena sweat-dropped.
"Umm.. I don't think he really-"
"Found them!" ChuChu soon wore the red swim trunks slashed with yellow, and he stood with his tiny surfboard next to him and his hand on his hip, looking extremely proud of himself. Anthy giggled.
"Come on, Himemiya!" Utena called, tugging Anthy along with her, barely allowing her to grab her bento box before racing down to the sand. ChuChu ran behind them, making angry monkey-mouse noises until they reached where Juri and Miki had set up the cabana next to the beach's fire pit.
"Finally," Juri harrumphed, taking a sip from her milkshake. She leaned back in her fold-out beach chair and brushed a ringlet of orange hair out of her face. She was stunning in a white bikini with ruffles over which she wore a sheer orange caftan. Juri crossed her legs gracefully, then gave Anthy and Utena one of her Ice Queen stares. "Where are Saionji and Kiryuu?" Utena shrugged, and Anthy only pointed up to the start of the beach where Saionji was trudging down, carrying the rest of the beach things and looking quite put out.
When he reached them, he looked at Anthy painedly. "Why did you leave me, Anthy? Do you really love that boy-girl?"
"Oy!" Utena protested. "Enough of that!"
"Do stop bringing that up, Saionji-sempai. We're supposed to have fun at the beach, right?" Anthy gave Saionji her most polite smile, which was saying something, then continued. "Where could the class president be?"
"Eh?" Saionji said, confused, looking around puzzledly. Juri sighed yet again. Anthy blinked innocently. Miki clicked his stopwatch.
"That's odd," he stated.
"Why? Because Kiryuu isn't here trying to play Utena?" Juri asked sarcastically.
"It doesn't matter. That playboy could jump of the side of the arena and I wouldn't care." Utena started her morning calf stretches.
"Miss Tenjou, excuse me, please, but you shouldn't talk about an upperclassman like that," Miki said.
"Does that include me, Mickey?" Juri said.
"Oh! Miki. You're so cute!" Huh? Miki thought. He was wearing (as a matter of course) bright blue swim shorts, and, being ever modest Miki, a rash guard top. He looked more like a little boy than a teenager. He blushed plum-colored, and Utena laughed. Miki looked over at Anthy, and she smiled pleasantly as usual. Suddenly, everyone froze. They knew that laugh.
"Tsuwabuki! Hurry, won't you?" The group watched, stunned, as Nanami Kiryuu strode down Ohtori beach with her footman Mitsuru Tsuwabuki stumbling a few feet back. They made their way slowly but surely to where the Student Council and Utena had settled down, Tsuwabuki careening back and forth trying to balance a chaise lounge on his shoulders.
"Big Brother may not be here, but there are other ways to have fun," Nanami crowed, laughing again. She turned to Tsuwabuki. "Put it over there!"
"Yes, Miss Nanami" he answered, and promptly Nanami was sitting in splendor, wearing a bright yellow swimsuit and contemplating aloud her lack of milkshake.
"Why does the boy-girl get one and not me? She isn't even on the Student Council!"
"Miss Kiryuu, you can have your brother's," Miki reassured her. "I don't believe he will come back to have his." Juri tried hard not to sigh a third time. It would be a long day.
Touga thought longingly of Utena as he walked to the rose-crested gate between the public and private beaches, shirt unbuttoned and beach towel flung over one shoulder. He couldn't enjoy himself with Nanami there, though, so he would just have to wait. Besides, he already had a group of fangirls following him, and he had a motive for being here. He deserved the Beach Towel Posing Contest's first prize. After all, how different was posing on a bed than posing on a towel. After filling in his registration form, he resigned himself to a relaxing day of fawning girls and luxurious posing.
*EYECATCH*
The sun was starting to set when Touga's phone rang, with a ringtone indicating Miki's call and not one of the twenty girls he had dates with that weekend. "Mr. President, come quickly, please," Miki said hurriedly. "Something's wrong." Touga shut his phone, grabbed his shirt, towel, and trophy, and pushing off dazzled girls, started to sprint along the beach. When Touga got to Ohtori beach, he had no time to admire Utena in an athletic red one-piece before Saionji confronted him, a crazed look on his face. He pointed at the bonfire.
"There is only one piece of rose-flavored chocolate," he spat angrily.
"And a new letter from End of the World," Miki added, clicking his stopwatch and scribbling in his notebook again. "I request a Student Council emergency meeting."
"This is ridiculous," Juri complained.
"Is it really, though?" Anthy said quietly.
"What are you talking about? It's chocolate, not something to be argued over. We can share it," Utena reasoned. ChuChu squeaked, but in agreement or disagreement no one could tell.
"Fine," Touga said, picking up the letter. I know a lighthouse nearby with a decently ridiculous elevator. Utena, Himemiya, watch over the things."
"Don't act so familiar with me, Kiryuu," Utena told him, but Juri, Miki, and Nanami were already reluctantly following Touga and Saionji up the beach.
"Do you want a s'more? Utena asked Tsuwabuki.
"Yes, please. No chocolate, though."
"We have more than enough."
"Chocolate's for kids."
Before you could say "absolute destiny apocalypse", the Student Council was on the elevator to the top of the lighthouse. "What are you muttering to yourself, Saionji?" Miki asked.
"The same thing I am," Touga answered, then suddenly boomed, "If the s'more is never made, the marshmallow will dry without being toasted. We are the marshmallow; the world is our s'more. Make the s'more!"
"For the revolution of cuisine!" they all chimed in. They sat down at the small table to the side of the light.
"I propose a duel with Utena Tenjou for possession of the Rose Chocolate!" Saionji said. The light rotated to face him, forming a spotlight. Miki noted the time.
"What does the letter say?" Juri asked.
"The time is near." Touga looked up. "Your request is granted, Saionji." Juri pinched the bridge of her nose. Nanami covered a yawn. Miki clicked his stopwatch and took a sip of the hot cocoa that had appeared in front of him. "Meeting adjourned."
Utena was playing one-on-one volleyball with Tsuwabuki as Anthy looked on when Saionji interrupted the game. "The Arena Rock at sunset," he said, handing Utena a marshmallow.
"Huh?" she asked, but Saionji was already walking away.
"A duel, Miss Utena." Anthy walked up to her. "Come, it's almost sunset.""
"Himemiya!" Utena called after her. "Where are you going?' Utena started running.
"Darn it. I never got to use that disappearing bathing suit on that Himemiya. She had a dress on the whole time!" Nanami complained. No one replied.
Far down the shore, a cliff with roses etched into the walls towered. C-ko was brandishing a shovel. "I am the famed sandcastle maker of Ohtori beach!" A-ko and B-ko appeared, bending over the sandcastle.
"Kakui!" they shouted in unison. "Can we help, O Great Sandcastle builder?"
"No," C-ko replied bluntly. "Only one can have the talent to build a best ever sandcastle."
"Awh!" A-ko and B-ko moaned. They stood up straight. "Then we'll just have to beat yours! Let's make our own." They built a sandcastle, but just when it was close to being finished, it toppled over. They groaned. "How do you get it to stay straight? How, I wonder, how?"
"I strived long and hard to become like the Master Sandcastle Maker that saved me when I was very young," C-ko replied grandly.
"I can't believe it!" A-ko said.
"What shall we do? Not all of us can have that talent!"
"Share the talent?" Utena suggested. The sun dipped behind the sea.
Utena hiked up the boulders, laid out in a spiraling staircase to Arena Rock. if she strained her ears, she could hear hints of "Absolute Destiny… Cuisine?" She shook her head. She was probably just hearing things. When she reached the top of the rock, Saionji and Anthy were waiting, and somehow military epaulets had appeared over their bathing suits and Saionji's lace-trimmed cooking apron. Anthy stepped forward.
"I will now prepare the duel." Walking over to Utena, she pinned a white marshmallow to the strap of her bathing suit. Saionji's face was angry, fiercely determined as Anthy pinned a green marshmallow to his apron.
Walking over to Utena, she murmured, "Noble pod, the power of the Cocoa Bean that resides within me, answer your master chef and come forth!" Utena grasped the hilt of a roasting skewer decorated to look like the sword of Dios and brandished it in the air.
Looking up and seeing the upside down bonfire in the sky, Utena yelled, "the power to revolutionize the s'more!" And then Saionji was lunging forward, skewer aimed for the marshmallow on Utena's chest. She parried just barely, stepping back.
"That is the bonfire where deliciousness dwells!" he shouted as Utena leaped forward, only just missing his marshmallow. "I will take possession of the Rose Chocolate!" They slashed, cut, and blocked, Saionji gaining on Utena until she was near the edge of Arena Rock. One more blow and she was going to fall. Saionji was advancing when a sparkling of power came down from the sky. The Cocoa Bean!
With a yell, Utena threw herself forward and sliced off Saionji's marshmallow. Foghorns went off as splatters of green marshmallow flew through the air. Utena had won the duel.
Later on, the Student Council, Utena, and Tsuwabuki sat around the fire pit, making s'mores. "So why did you duel if you didn't want the Rose Chocolate?" Juri asked, sandwiching a second piece of plain dark chocolate between her graham crackers and marshmallows.
"ChuChu wanted it," Utena replied simply.
"I can't believe you didn't let Big Brother have it, even if it is just chocolate," Nanami sniffed.
"Oh, it's much more than that, Miss Nanami," Anthy said.
"Where's Kyouichi, by the way?"
"Building a sandcastle that keeps falling down."
FIN