Mukuro: First off, I'd like to verify that this is based off of a certain chapter in superstarultras' crackfic story. I would like to verify that this is not a copy of his story, nor is it even closely related. It is my idea, with an inspiration from his stories.
Now that I'm done with THAT disclaimer, now I have to move on to THIS diclaimer… damn…
Disclaimer: No matter how much I want to, I don't own Suzumiya Haruhi. Or the series.
The Lolita Complex of Haruhi Suzumiya
"Um… Kyon…" My adorable yet annoying little sister stood in the doorway to my room.
"Yeah? What do you want?" And do you have to call me Kyon?
"Um… I think I'm being stalked…" These words brought my breathing slower than the time it takes me to get up in the morning. Did my sister seriously say she's getting stalked?
"Did you seriously say you're getting stalked?" No way. I refuse to believe this.
"Y-yeah… when I go to the pool with my friends, I sometimes feel like someone's watching me change… and when I'm walking to school, I feel like I'm being followed… Kyon, I'm so scared!"
"It's alright, but what do you want me to do about it? Should I call mom and dad?"
"No… just Haruhi-chan…"
"Okay, please, I really don't want to call Haruhi…"
"Why not?"
"Well, if I tell Haruhi, something like this will happen:"
Kyon Theatre
It was a nice day in the clubroom, when…
"Kyon! Did you just say that your sister's being stalked?!"
"Well, yeah…"
"Unforgiveable! I can't let someone stalk our little girl character!"
"Little girl character?"
"Yes. It is also known as a Lolita Complex. It is when we use Imouto-chan to use her little girl charms to get men with Lolita complexes to do what we say!"
"What the hell are you planning to do to my little sister?!"
"Never mind the details, Kyon! We need to follow your sister, so we can find the stalker!"
Later…
"Okay, let's find the guy! Huh? That guy looks suspicious!" She suddenly said, pointing at the geeky guy walking towards her.
"DIE STALKERRRRRRRRRRRR!" Haruhi's war cry, which could break the spirit of 20 bodybuilders, suddenly burst from her throat at the same time she burst from the alley we were hiding in.
"What the hell?!" The geeky guy shouted, suddenly scared of what was going to happen to him.
"YOU! How dare you stalk this helpless little girl?!"
"Wait! I just wanted directions!"
"Yeah?! To where, the inside of her panties?!"
"NO!"
"Face divine penalty!" Haruhi shouted, pulling her fist back.
"Wait, what are you-"
"DIE!"
"I just wanted directions to the Libraryyyyyy!"
Theatre End
"-So you see why I can't talk to Haruhi about this?"
"Nope!" She said, giving me that cute smile of hers.
Oh, well, I guess I have to tell Haruhi.
It was a nice day in the clubroom, when…
"Kyon! Did you just say that your sister's being stalked?!"
"Well, yeah…"
"Unforgiveable! I can't let someone stalk our little girl character!"
"Little girl character?"
"Yes. It is also known as a Lolita Complex. It is when we use Imouto-chan to use her little girl charms to get men with Lolita complexes to do what we say!" Suddenly, I got the eeriest case of déjà vu, as if I'd seen this before. Well, probably nothing.
"What the hell are you planning to do to my little sister?!"
"Never mind the details, Kyon! Alright Brigade Member's, this is our plan of attack!"
Mukuro: That's all! For now… (Laugh's Evilly) So, who do you think this stalker is?
Find out in the next chapter!
Mukuro Out