The True Face of Eragon
Prologue: Shade of Peace VERSION 2.0
Yeah, here's the story. I told my friend that the old prologue seemed pretty bad to start out with (actually I think it sucks). So he suggested I re-write it. That's how this stuff got here. To those of you who are reading this story for the first time, expect a quality drop after this chapter. (Don't worry, it'll improve. Eventually.) If you're one of my old fans, and you for some reason fell in love with that old piece of ______, then I can send it to you. I might even post it on my profile. Anyways, it gives me the chills to read…
Riding tall (like in that mini sirloin burger commercial), three elves made their way to a creek. They dismounted. The female of them seemed to be annoyed. Her angular eyes twitched. She could sense the evil. She could sense them.
One of her companions came up to her. For all the danger they were in, he for some reason held a wide grin on his face. He must have been insane. In fact, he really was insane. People had said that he had a special connection with birds since a young age. Unfortunately, he'd kept the mentality of a young age, becoming incredibly irritating. The others swore he must have stopped to see every single bird they passed by.
"Aws! Noes ducks. Me is sads."
The woman's eye's stared at him through her long, jet black hair. "Why are you making all your words plural?"
"I's thinks its reallys cools. And cutes! Do's yous thinks I'ms cutes?"
The female looked away. "No, I think you're a repulsive, annoying brat who seems to be obsessed with random animals who hate you. Now go away."
The other elf frowned. "Aws, she's means! I'ms sads." He began to fake cry.
"Weird," a voice said. It was another elf, this time obviously sane. He smiled at the woman. "I can't believe that we have to drag this guy around. Isn't he supposed to help me protect you?"
"Well, they wouldn't let us go alone."
He shrugged. "It's okay. How's the stone?"
The female elf opened her knapsack and took out a brilliant, blue stone. It was the size of a cat (or so the Wikipedia page on the movie says), and gleamed in the sunlight. "Shh, don't let them find us," she warned.
Suddenly a violent cry came from behind. It was the other elf, running around in circles. "WARNING! WARNING!" he cried.
"What is it?" his fellow travelers asked.
"Some people are following us! Evasive maneuvers! Whatsyourname, do the Octosquid Slider! Arya, use the Flipping Stone move! I'll do the Hanglider. GO! GO! GO!"
"You brat, you don't know my name?!" 'Whatsyourname' exclaimed furiously. He caught the bird maniac by the collar.
"Uh, let me guess. Is it Wilson?"
"NO!!!!"
"Okay fine! Is it Jeffery? Yeah, it's Jeffery! It's got to be!"
"You dolt, you need professional help."
The female, who appeared to be dubbed Arya, said, "Guys! Violence isn't gonna help anything!"
The sane male stopped. He dropped his companion. "You're right," he sighed. Then he pointed a finger at Arya. "But I still say we should have used Fed-Ex!"
"Are you serious? There's a billion bad guys looking for this thing! They could rob us! Besides, the Fed-Ex guy where we live is on dope. That's not very good, guys."
"Me's likes dope! It's goods."
"……………"
Some guy walked by. "Dope sucks. Crack is better." Then he stabbed the bird-lover.
"At least THAT problem is solved," Arya commented.
"No, you die too," the crack-man said as he stabbed the remaining male elf. "Come here. I'm gonna get you."
"Geez, you have issues."
"NO!!!! NO!!!! NOKALAKASHIKASAMMM!!!!!" huffing with rage, the man came towards her.
A hippie shade came out of nowhere and said, "Where's McDonalds?"
"AHHHH!!!!! HANNAH MONTANA'S COME TO EAT MAH SOUL! RUN, MAH BOI!!!"
"You know, I'm not really sure that this version of the prologue is really an improvement," the shade sighed. He walked away.
Arya heard a helicopter over her head. A guy in a suit came out of it. "We're the Evil Guys. Come with us for purposes of the plot."
Arya stared. "I don't think so."
"Fine." The man pretended to turn away, and spun around to throw a tranquilizer dart into Arya's neck. She fell to the ground.
And while the guy tried to climb up a rope ladder to the helicopter while holding Arya, two deceased travelers looked down on the earth.
"……………"
"Dang it. There goes that paycheck."
So this is the Prologue v 2.0. Yeah, it's still pretty bad. But better.
And guys, are you looking for THE SECOND SIDE OF ELDEST?!!? (Text in bold, underline and italics to get your attention.) I mean, most of you can't wait for the sequel (or so I think…)! I bet you don't even read author's notes! So here's my rant.
This is probably the most recent chapter, (probably because I might make new chapter versions of others) so don't expect the next few to have this format.