I don't own glee. I wish I owned Kurt, but I don't
Chapter One
Zombies. Goddamn zombies! Yeah, Kurt had never pictured he would spend his birthday watching zombies tear through McKinley High. He had been minding his own business, spending lunch period in the choir room, when the screams had started.
He didn't know who was killed first, nor did he want to. But he knew that his friends were still somewhere in the school. He sighed. He was trained for this, of course he was! He was trained for pretty much anything thanks to his Guardian, Alexander.
Kurt thought, he first thought about who he was going to save, Mercedes, simply because he point blank refused to live without her, Artie; who couldn't protect himself, Finn; his brother, Tina; who had potential, Rachel; his only decent competition, Santana could fight and Brittany could handle a gun, Puck, who was a father and Quinn, who was the child's mother, he had to follow his rules.
The rules Kurt lived by were simple and he followed them for himself, not because he had to.
Rule one, you never kill a child except to save it from a more painful death, rule two, never orphan a child, rule three, never save someone who didn't deserve to be saved, rule four, never leave someone to die if you can help it and they are worthy of living, kill them or save them and finally, rule five, don't get killed.
So far, Kurt had followed his own rules perfectly and he wasn't planning to break them anytime soon.
He then thought about where each person would be. Most of the Glee club would be in the cafeteria, but Rachel was most certainly in the auditorium as always. Brittany, Santana and Quinn had Cheerios practice, Kurt was supposed to be there too but his instincts had told him not to go and so he had skipped out on practice.
He reasoned to himself that he would need as many weapons and as much ammo as he could get his hands on. He would have to make a stop to his locker before he went looking for his friends.
Kurt never was very good at planning and so decided that he would get his weapons first then decide what to do.
He retrieved his bag from the choir room floor and rummaged around for his handgun and his sai swords.
He ensured that his swords were sharp and counted his clips, he had three clips with six bullets in each. He tucked all three items into the waistband of his jeans and headed out the door.
He didn't encounter any trouble until he was almost half way to the gym. He was still running silently and quickly, but stopped in his tracks when he heard sickening snarling, snapping and slurping sounds around a corner.
He pressed himself into the wall as tightly as he could before fishing his compact out from his pocket and holding it open at an angle so that he could see around the corner without actually revealing his presence. What he saw made his stomach turn, what was left of Jacob Ben Israel was being feasted upon by Principal Figgins, Emma Pillsbury and three Cheerios whose faces were covered in so much blood that Kurt could not recognise them.
He could however, tell that none of them were Brittany, Santana or Quinn as two of these girls had red hair and the third had a pixie cut.
He pulled out his loaded gun before realising that wasting five bullets on these walkers was exactly the kind of thing that Alexander was constantly reprimanding him about and kept insisting was exactly the kind of thing that would cause Kurt to break his final rule.
Kurt instead waited until they were fighting over the last piece of Jacob, he then climbed on top of a row of lockers, out of sight and shot a window down the same hall he had just run down, causing a loud shattering noise to echo up the hallway.
The effect was instant; the former humans looked up and snarled in unison before running straight past Kurt and down the hall.
Kurt waited until they were out of sight before jumping down from the lockers, landing soundlessly and continuing down the hall. As he walked down the halls he looked into the rooms in hopes of finding a survivor or two.
Most of the rooms were empty but a few of them housed dead bodies.
Kurt made it the rest of the way to his locker without trouble, but also without seeing any survivors.
He reached into the locker and pulled everything out of it and onto the floor in one fluid sweeping motion and flinched as the impact caused a smacking sound which echoed through the halls. Kurt looked around to be sure that none of the undead were close enough to hear it and turned back to his locker. He clawed at the back for a few moments before it came away to reveal a large hole in the wall.
It was big enough to hold a small arsenal of weapons and ammunition, but small enough to escape notice if someone where to look into the locker.
Kurt took another look around to ensure that it was safe for him to lean into the small cavern before he retrieved a change of clothes (Marc Jacobs is fabulous but not very easy to fight living corpses in), a duffel bag and a ridicules amount and variety of holsters.
Kurt decided that it would be smart to change before he removed his weapons from their hiding place. Lucky for him, his locker was right next to the bathrooms because there was no way Kurt Hummel was changing in the middle of the hallway.
Once he had finished changing, (which took longer than it normally would as his outfit was made completely of leather), Kurt retrieved his duffel bag from the floor in front of his locker and put his old clothes into it. He then proceeded to load his weapons into their appropriate holsters which he had strapped onto strategic places around his body.
Once he was finished he had a grand total of twelve guns (two machine guns, four Uzis, a sniper, two Desert Eagles, a sawed off shotgun and two revolvers), six grenades, a few dozen throwing swords, his sai swords and a katana blade strapped onto his body. He piled the rest of his weapons into the duffel bag and looked at his watch; it had only been about seven minutes since he left the choir room. Kurt really did love enhanced speed.
As he ran through the halls Kurt mapped out where he had to go first. The gym was his first thought there were no locks on any of the doors and there was a huge window on one side. Brittany, Santana and Quinn weren't safe as long as they were there.
The scene upon which Kurt feasted his eyes when he reached the gym wasn't a pleasant one. There were only a few people still alive. The three girls he had come for were hanging from the climbing ropes as were Ms Sylvester who was clinging desperately to Becky and whispering to her. Kurt stood out of sight for a moment.
He thought about Becky, she couldn't take care of herself that meant she qualified to be saved; he deliberated for only a split second before he decided. Becky was coming with him. He watched horrified as Sue's grip on the girl began slackening and Becky started to fall.
The hoard of Zombies gathered below the girls groaned louder, hoping that Becky would be a meal. Kurt didn't hesitate, he used all of his speed to run towards the hoard below the girls, he leapt over the creatures and caught Becky bridal style. He then proceeded to run back outside the gym and put Becky down. The girl seemed stunned,
"Kurtie?" she asked, she had taken to calling him by the nickname, "how did you do that?".
Kurt smiled reassuringly, "don't worry Becks" he said, "your safe with me, but I need you to stay here for me ok? Don't move! And if any of those things come near you, scream as loud as you can and I'll come for you! Understand?".
Becky nodded.
"I'll be right back sweetie", Kurt promised before heading back into the gym.
The three girls hanging above the gym were very confused. One minute Becky had been falling and the next she was gone.
Sue however, sighed in relief.
"Kurt?" she called out, "we really could use some help here!"
The teens shrieked in unison when a black clad, weapon laden Kurt Hummel sauntered into the gym, seeming unaware or uncaring of the zombies.
"I don't possibly see what you could need help with Coach!" he called back with a huge, cheesy grin.
"This is no time for jokes Ladyface!", Sue scolded him.
The zombies had started to take notice of Kurt; he frowned, turned away and walked to the doors.
"Kurt?", Quinn questioned fearing that he would leave them to die, "Kurt! Please, please Kurt! Don't leave us to die!".
Kurt didn't stop walking "I have rules Quinn", he said as he reached the door and... Locked it? Kurt turned and smirked at the girls puzzled expression. "I don't leave people to die, I either save them or kill them myself and I don't kill parents!"
He drew his katana and held it in one hand and reached for a random gun with his other.
Five minutes later the gym floor was littered with assorted body parts and Kurt was re-sheathing his weapons while the girls and Sue got down from the ropes. Kurt soon found his arms full of a very emotional Quinn who began sobbing into his chest. She tried to thank him through her hysterics but Kurt could only make out a few words,
"Kurt... saved us... thank you... P- Puck?" were the only recognisable words.
He passed the sobbing blonde over to Brittany and Santana before he turned to Sue,
"Becky's outside the door" was all he said before she sprinted away to find her assistant/pseudo daughter.
Once Quinn had calmed down, she and the other girls started asking questions that Kurt couldn't answer. It started with
"What were those things" from Santana,
"How is everyone else" from Quinn,
"What do you call your sword?" from Brittany and a resounding
"How did you do that?" from all three in unison (which Kurt had to admit was slightly creepy).
He looked at his watch, took a deep breath and answered the questions as quickly as he could,
"Zombies, I don't know that's where we are going next, Erinn and I can't tell you. Now let's go!".
The girls obviously understood him despite the rapid speed as they followed him out of the gym, he stopped only to pick up a length of thin rope which could come in handy, pick up his duffel bag and to tell Sue that she and Becky were in fact, coming with him. At that promise, Sue nodded and ran to her office, she emerged with a duffel bag just like Kurt's which she revealed held food, water, medical supplies and clothes in a range of sizes instead of weapons. She did however, have a shotgun and a large box of shells. Kurt smirked at her and led the way down the hall.
The auditorium was the next stop as Rachel would be alone. They made it there to find her, well, alone. They must have gotten to her before the zombies did. As soon as Rachel saw them she went pale. Kurt hadn't thought of how menacing they must have looked, he was clad in black leather and a huge amount of weapons, Quinn, Brittany and Santana's uniforms were ripped and ragged looking, Becky had a bloodstained baseball bat in one hand and a snarl on her lips, Sue looked ecstatic (which is usually not a good thing) and had her shotgun strapped to her back, all of them were covered in blood due to their run in with a zombie horde on the way to the auditorium and had war paint on their faces (Sue had insisted).
Kurt stormed onto the stage, grabbed her by the arm and dragged her down to stand with the blood stained Cheerios, who held her in place when she tried to make a break for it. He quickly told her about the situation whilst looking through his duffel bag for a suitable weapon for her. When he emerged from the bag with a sharpened shovel, Rachel had been changed out of her predictably God- awful outfit and into a Cheerios uniform and war paint. He tossed her the shovel and raised an eyebrow at the uniform. Sue shrugged,
"It's easy to move in" she defended herself, Kurt just nodded,
"You gonna' be able to use that thing, Princess?" he asked Rachel whilst nodding at the shovel.
Rachel swung it a few times, chopping the headrest off of a seat,
"Yeah" she said, "I got it"
She flashed him a fleeting smile before taking a deep breath and stepping aside to let Kurt lead the way out of the auditorium.
Next stop, cafeteria.
"Oh. Shit!" Kurt whispered.
He had reached the cafeteria before the others despite using a relatively slow pace, well, slow compared to how fast he could go. The others arrived a second later.
"Oh. Shit!" Santana exclaimed.
"My sentiments exactly", Kurt said bitterly.
The cafeteria was completely surrounded by zombies; they were pounding on the doors and doing their damndest to get inside. There was a trolley in front of one of the windows and the zombies evidently hadn't been able to move it and so had apparently decided to ignore that window completely. Kurt looked inside through the unblocked window and scanned the crowd for the rest of the glee club who were huddled in a corner.
Mercedes, Tina and a little girl were curled up on the floor behind Puck, Finn, Artie, Mr Shue and ...Dave Karofsky?
Kurt was stunned, Karofsky had left him alone and had even kept Azimo and the other neanderthals away from him since the kiss, but Kurt was still wary of him.
Finn caught Kurt's eye and stared, wide- eyed, probably because of the outfit, or the weapons, or the blood.
Actually, it was probably all three. Kurt smirked at him, winked and tried to reassure his brother with his eyes. He turned to his... crew? ... Posse? ... he would have to think of a name for them later. He signalled them to retreat back down the hall, they did as they were told without argument. Once they were far enough away Kurt turned to the others,
"We need a plan!" he told them.
Brittney was staring at a spot on the wall,
"I have a plan", she told them.
The others looked slightly wary but Kurt decided to give her a chance.
"What is it Brit?" he asked her.
The blonde smiled and pointed to a vent above a row of lockers.
"We crawl through that and drop in" she said, "and then we get our friends up".
Kurt smiled at the girl,
"you are amazing!" he told her, kissing her on the cheek.
Finn was standing in front of the girls with the other guys, Kurt had been outside a few minutes ago so at least he was alive.
The others were too busy either staring at the zombies in terror, comforting Puck's little sister or looking for something to use as a weapon that they didn't notice Finn looking at his phone and grinning.
He had gotten a text from Kurt,
'Get under the air vent, don't let anyone outside the glee club see what you are doing'
This message was followed by instructions telling him exactly what to do.
Finn turned to the others,
"We're getting out of here guys!" he whispered.
Mercedes looked at him,
"are you crazy, boy?" she asked incredulously, "there's gotta' be a hundred of those things out there!"
Finn smiled,
"Do you trust me?" he asked her.
"HELL NO, WHITE BOY!" she screamed in reply.
Finn sighed and asked, "Do you trust Kurt?"
Her face looked puzzled for a moment but she cautiously nodded.
"Good! Then get Tina, Artie and Mini- Puck under the air vent!" he told her, not waiting for a reply before he turned to the other guys,
"We" he said, pointing to Puck, "are going to provide a distraction".
If you had been in the cafeteria at that moment you probably would have been gathered around a fighting Puck and Finn. That meant, of course, that you wouldn't have seen a rope being lowered through the air vent in the corner of the room. Nor would you have noticed the 'Glee kids' being hauled up into the vent one by one until only the fighting pair remained. Hopefully you would've noticed the doors break and the zombies come flooding in, diverting all attention away from the remaining Glee Clubbers as they made their escape. And at that point you certainly wouldn't have noticed Kurt Hummel hanging upside down from the air vent, grabbing Dave Karofsky by the hand and pulling him inside the air vent. No, at that point, you were probably dead. Sorry
Inside the aforementioned air vent, Dave Karofsky was very confused. He stared at the boy in front of him. The boy he had tortured ruthlessly for years, the boy who he had kissed, the boy who had just saved his life, the boy he was in love with.
"Why?" he asked Kurt almost silently.
Kurt smiled softly and replied,
"Everyone deserves a second chance Dave, if we have even a chance at surviving this thing, then I am going to drag you out of the closet!" he grinned at Dave, squeezed his hand and lead the way out of the vent.
…And Dave most certainly did not look at Kurt's ass as he followed him!
Well, there you go, chapter one, consider yourself done! (Gotta' love rhyming!) oh, and never fear Blaine fans, our dapper darling will be introduced within the next few chapters.