Disclaimer: Don't own anything except Alyanna and Max
She felt like a chicken with her head cut off the way she was running around trying to gather her children's toys before they went to their father's house. Alyanna (pronounced Allie-Anna; 6) and Max (4); named after the body guard that saved her life while she was pregnant with the little boy. She felt like that was the only way she could thank the deceased man and comfort his widower, Diane. She did inventory in her mind, bags with clothes: check, plenty of toys: check; and Max's blankie: check.
This was her schedule every other weekend when her children went to see their father. It was what her and her ex-husband had decided early on in the divorce. Her children needed their mother more than they needed their father; the fact was sad yet very true. So every Friday after school the kids went home, Claudia packed for them and then they met in the same spot every other Friday.
"Alyanna! Max! Get yourselves down here! It's time to go see daddy."
Little feet were heard hitting the hard wood floor that was upstairs. She could hear the excitement playing on her children's voices as they raced each other down the stairs. She was used to them doing this sort of thing which is why she had carpets put on the steps so they couldn't slip and fall, but she always warned them anyways.
"Be careful."
Every Other Friday
It's toys and clothes and backpacks
They pile into the car. Looking sad and happy at the same time. Leaving their mother was sad yet seeing their father was happy. They didn't understand how to feel about what happened every other weekend.
"Everyone in? Let's go see daddy guys."
Is everybody in,
Okay, let's go see dad
She puts on her happy face, smiling when she sees them smiling. What else is she supposed to do? She can't hate the man, he gave her these kids and without these kids she'd be nothing. A hollow figure of what she is right now. She drives to the same spot, every single time that's where they go to trade off.
He's already there in the same beaten down car he had when they were together two years ago. Okay, so it's not beaten down and it certainly isn't old. She's just used to him getting new cars every few months, but now he's had that car forever. Alyanna sees him first, and that's all that has to happen for her to get extremely excited. Max notices his older sister's excitement and looks out the window. His father waves at him.
Claudia lets them out of the car and in rush they're no longer hers. Alyanna makes it to her father first, he picks her up and hugs her. Max gets there seconds later and in a millisecond and he's in his father's arms as well. Hugging his neck hard, Claudia laughs when he pretends that they're choking him. He lets them down and they go over and give sad hugs to their mother.
"Sonny." She addresses him, like normal.
"Claudia." He nods his head in her direction.
She looks down at her leg where Max is holding onto her. Alyanna is on her other side grabbing her mother's waist. Sonny laughs at the sight. Maybe he was still in love with her, but he only felt it at times like this. Claudia bent down so the kid's didn't have to hold onto her. She looks at Alyanna first.
"Be a good girl for daddy, please."
"I will mommy, I love you."
"I love you more, peanut."
Claudia lets out a hard breath as Alyanna barrels into her, hugging her tight. She then runs to her father and he picks his daughter up. He remembers when Claudia used to stand in front of him with her arms around his neck like Alyanna is doing right now.
Claudia looked at Max next.
"Will you be good for daddy?"
A little nod is all she gets. She feels the tears starting to form as she looks at Sonny but quickly shifts her eyes back to her little boy. He never understood this part. He didn't understand goodbyes.
"What's wrong baby?"
"Can't you come too, mommy? Can't we be a family like we are in all my baby pictures?"
Sonny's heart broke in pieces. He never wanted this for his family. He said he would never hurt his family, but this was his fault. He should've convinced her that they could work out their problems, that they could get through it, but instead he let her file the papers.
"No, honey we can't. Now you be good for daddy, mommy loves you."
"I love you too mommy."
Half the hugs and kisses they are always sad
We trade a couple words and looks and kids again
She has to continue to remind herself that this only happens
Every Other weekend
CZ-CZ
He carries them in to his modest household. Nothing like the mansion he had when he first married Claudia. It has a bedroom for all of his kids in case they need a place to stay. In his hands are their bags, but his arms is where his children are cuddled. Max half awake, exhausted from his crying. He still didn't understand why his mother couldn't come too. It shows what a good big sister Alyanna is, she comforts him until he stops until Sonny can get him to calm down.
Every other weekend
Very few exceptions,
I pick up the love we made in both my arms
They sit on the couch, right before dinner time, both children picked a movie to watch tonight. He sits in between the children as they watch Max's pick of Cars. Sonny found the movie pointless himself but Max loved cars just like his Uncle Johnny. Sonny found himself spacing out.
He looked at his pregnant wife as she lied in hospital bed, wires connected to many machines, she had been shot in the shoulder, but could have taken a bullet to the stomach if Max had not jumped in the way, but by doing so he killed himself. He sat by her, holding her hand.
"Sonny is he really…..?"
"Shhhh, it's okay. He was doing what he was made to do which was protect you."
"But Max is dead, because I tried getting rid of them instead of letting them walk beside me."
"No he's dead, because he cared about you."
"Our son…"
"What about him?"
"His name." She said and he already understood.
"Max Corinthos."
"Daddy!" Max's voice finally reached his father's ears.
"Yes son?"
"I'm hungry and so is Alyanna." Max assured of what he just said.
"Am not!" Alyanna said, trying to prove her brother wrong.
"Are too!"
"Enough you two. Aly are you hungry?" Sonny asked, a smile playing on his face.
"Yes, daddy."
He whipped up two grilled cheese sandwiches and handed them to his children. It was silent, but after Alyanna and Max took one bite they were both done.
"What's wrong guys? You love grilled cheese."
"We do, it's just that-"
"It's not the way mommy makes it." Max interrupted his sister.
Sonny tried to hide the hurt on his face.
"Oh well. How bout I make some nuggets? Sound good?"
"Yeah!" Both children screamed happily.
He took a bite of one of the sandwiches once the kids left the room. They were right, it wasn't how she made them. It wasn't that it wasn't good, because it was, but it wasn't Claudia's grilled cheese. It was just a phony imposter.
It's movies on the sofa,
grilled cheese and cut the crust off
"That's not the way mom makes it, daddy," breaks my heart
He tries to sleep that night but he can't. This bed is too big for just him and every time he turns to face the empty side he thinks of Claudia. That's where she would be, where she should be. He looks at the pictures on his nightstand. There's one of all of them in their blue jeans and blue t-shirts.
He remembers that day well. Max was still a baby in Sonny's eyes, a year and a half at most. Claudia was taking forever to get ready even though their outfits had been planned. So he had put Alyanna in the car and then went to find Max who was in Claudia's arms as she walked down the steps.
The picture was supposed to their Christmas card picture, but a few weeks later was when things went wrong. They started fighting over nothing and not even they knew why it was happening. But soon they just fell apart. He found it hard to believe that he never really thought about this unless his two children were in the rooms down the hall. Her children. Their children.
I miss everything I use to have with her again,
Every other weekend
SC-SC-SC
But I can't tell her I love her
I can't tell him I love him
Cause there's too many questions and
Ears in the car
So I don't tell him I miss him
I don't tell her I need her
She's (He's) over me, that's where we are
So we're as close as we might ever be again
Every Other Weekend
Every other Saturday
She woke up alone, facing the side of the bed that used to hold her one true love's body. But it was empty, like this house was empty. It hurt her to be in this house every day, because it was their house. They bought it together, they were meant to raise their kids here together. Every room held memories, the good and the bad but she never wanted to forget any of them. Then he gave her these children and a life, a good life. How was she supposed to forget?
It was still weird to her. But every other weekend, it wasn't weird it was painful. No kids jumping up and down on the bed, screaming for her to wake up and make them breakfast. No Sonny lying on the other side either asleep or kissing her lie crazy. No this was definitely not right.
First thing in the mornin'
I turn the TV on to make the quiet go away
She grabs the remote and turns on the TV. It's too quiet for her to like, she needs noise. It doesn't surprise her when the home video starts to play. It's her sitting in a rocking chair, two babies in her arms. Alyanna can't be more than two and Max just a newborn baby. The room is dark, she can tell it's bedtime.
"Come stop your crying. It will be alright. Just take my hand. Hold it tight. I will protect you from all around you. I will be here don't you cry. For one so small you seem so strong. My arms will hold you keep you safe and warm. This bond between us can't be broken. I will be here. Don't you cry. 'Cause you'll be in my heart, yes, you'll be in my heart, from this day on. Now and forever more."
She looks up and see's Sonny with the camera.
"What do you think you're doing?"
"Taping your audition tape for American Idol." He said.
She knew he was wearing one of his goofy smiles.
"Very funny." She stuck her tongue out at him.
She tried standing with both kids in her arms, but couldn't do it. She would either almost drop Max or almost drop Alyanna. He goes and grabs Alyanna out of her arms, after seeing down the camera where the lens can still see them.
"Dada…?"Alyanna says groggily.
"Shhh, go back to sleep angel."
Claudia kissed her forehead before placing Max in his crib.
"I'm going to take her to her room. I love you."
"Love you too."
Claudia turned the TV off and buried her face in her pillow as she cried. Why couldn't she have those days back? Why couldn't she be that happy again? Couldn't one night go by where she doesn't cry? Being in that house, in that bed only made her memories flood back and make her even more upset. She lifted her head off her pillow and went into the night stand for some tissues and grabbed the tissues but under them was the baby name book and she just stared at it and got lost in the memory of when they were picking out baby names for Alyanna.
"Okay, seriously, what are we going to name her?
"I don't know. Didn't you think about this as a little girl? Like what would you name your daughter."
"No not really, I never expected it. We didn't expect this. Okay so this book has a ton, we better be able to find one name we actually like and maybe we can use it."
"All right, then let us look in this book of answers."
She cuddled into him and laid her head on his shoulder. She was eight months pregnant and she was tired. He gently stroked her hair as they flipped through the pages.
"What about summer?"
"Well we don't have that long to wait, honey, she's going to be born in winter."
She smacked his arm with the open book. She tried to wipe her watery eyes from her laughter.
"I mean the name summer. What do you think?"
"You want to name our perfect little daughter after a season?"
"Okay I guess that's out. 'She's going to be born in winter', what am I ever going to do with you?"
He planted a kiss on her lips.
"Love me for the rest of your life."
She kissed his shoulder before laying on him more.
"Only if you love me."
"I'll never stop."
She came out of her trance into her empty household, the silence and loneliness. She didn't want to be here. What was she supposed to do? She hated being alone. And every other weekend she was. Because the loneliness reminded her of what she once had and what she lost. It made her lose it and cry. It made her break.
How dare she promise herself forever with him. How dare she let herself do this to herself.
I know why, but I don't know why
We ever let this happen
Fallin' for forever was a big mistake
There's so much not to do, and all day not to do it in
Every Other Weekend
CZ-CZ-CZ
Every Other Sunday
Sunday afternoon came too quickly for his liking. He made the kids lunch and then ran to get their stuff ready. While he was in Max's room, Alyanna came in with a sad look on her face. She sat on the bed until her father acknowledged her.
"What's wrong Alyanna?"
"He doesn't understand."
"Who doesn't understand what?"
"Max doesn't understand why you and mommy aren't together."
A look of understanding spread across his face. He knew she had an easier time, she had been four years old when it happened. Max had only been a two year old and he didn't remember much from that time.
"I tell him about it, ya know?"
Sonny gave her more attention by sitting on the bed next to her.
"About what?"
"When you and mommy were happy, I remember it. When we were always happy and smiling. I wish we could go back to then."
Sonny wrapped a arm around his daughter.
"I know you do, but it's just something I can't control. Me and your mommy were just not meant to be. Are your things ready?"
"Yes daddy. Do you want me to get Max's shoes and coat on?"
"Yes please, sweet pea. I will be there in a second."
She ran off to help Max while he got the rest of the things ready.
SC-SC-SC
Claudia leaned against her car as Sonny's car pulled into the parking lot. She sees her children's smiling faces and feels so relieved to see them once again. Sonny unbuckles Alyanna first and she runs to her mother.
"Mommy!"
Claudia picks the girl up, picking Max up with her when he comes to greet her. She watches as Sonny grabs his children's bags. She frowns at the way it has to be. The way it needs to be. She kisses their heads.
"Mommy missed you both so much."
I empty out my backseat
While my children hug their mother in the parking lot
Claudia puts both of her kids in the car and puts them in their car seats. She meets Sonny halfway to grab the bags. She smiles at him while she walks towards him and he does the same. Everything seems to be moving in slow motion.
"Hi Sonny."
"Hi Claudia."
As he hands her the bags their hands brush against each other. By instinct he grabs her hand and for a moment everything is the same as it was before the divorce. Before he left and before she filed the papers. It takes everything in her to pull her hand away because the kids in that car are going to wonder.
"Alyanna has a piano recital Tuesday if you want to come you can."
"I'll be there. Same time, same place the Friday after next."
"Yeah."
She doesn't want to leave, she wants to grab him and kiss him and show him how much love she still has for him but she can't. There are four little eyes that will not know how to take it. So she gets in her car and she walks away. And he watches.
Then she drives away with every piece of heart I've got
I reconvince myself we did the right thing
Every Other Weekend
He continues to watch. He doesn't want to get in his car. What can he do? He was the one that left, that couldn't take the fighting anymore. He's the one that let her file the papers. He's the one that hurt his kid's lives.
CZ-CZ-CZ
She knew when she was alone later that day she would break. She would cry. He left, but she let him. She ruined her own life, her kid's lives, Sonny's life. She wanted to take it all back. But she knows she can't. So she plays her role of a happy mom.
"So guys how was your weekend?"