Tortured Minds

Disclaimer: I do not own Good Luck Charlie

A/N: This deals with a very heavy topic, I wasn't sure I wanted to do this either, but I'm going to. You know I can't resist a good story with lots of drama. It'll definitely be PJ/Skyler and Teddy/Spencer, but trust me with what I'm going to do here. PJ and Teddy will be the main perspective.

Chapter 1 (The Mistake)

May 23rd, 2009

Bob Duncan sat at a bar, rubbing his forehead as the bartender swept a white cloth across the glossy surface. A shot of Jack Daniels sat before the bald man, it was his fifth and he was very tipsy, well close to drunk. He should have been at the hospital, but he had to stop along the way to the bar. Lately he'd turned to drinking to escape what he thought would be his death. He knew he needed to quit drinking, but he just couldn't. Even though it had made him delirious enough to give him such drunken hallucinations that his wife was pregnant and going into labor tonight. He had an entire memory all wrapped up and ready to go, one he actually believed.

He and Amy never believed in sex education, there were assemblies the school had each year, they kept their children away from those, but maybe they shouldn't have. He gripped the slender glass shot and brought it to his lips, leaning back as he downed it without a care in the world. "Hit me with another," he ordered. The bartender, a kind old soul with a thick grey moustache and a bald hat, simply stared at him. "I should be at the hospital, but I'm not going. No way I'm going." The bartender took the another shot glass and started filling it up as Bob hunched over his empty one.

"Why is that?" Where had they gone wrong? He'd been asking this question for nine months with Amy. They always avoided the subject, they avoided it all their lives. They said their children would find out one day, but not like this. Never like this. He shook his head and moaned as the man set the shot glass down beside him. "Should I call the hospital for you?"

"No. It's just…my 'wife' is in labor." He put air quotes around wife and slammed his hand against his face, weeping softly as the alcohol swept through his brain. The bartender's brow furrowed and he turned towards him with utter confusion and shock.

"If your wife is in labor, why are you here?"

"Because, don't you see? It's all a big lie." The problem was, he actually wanted to believe it was Amy. He wanted to believe she was the one that was going in labor tonight. In his mind, he played the illusion so much that he actually did believed the tall tale. He believed that Teddy was at a play with Ivy, dressed as Frankenstein and freaking the children out. He believe Gabe was having a sugar high at home while he and PJ were pissing off motorcyclists in an attempt to try and reach Amy before it was too late. Instead, the reality was far different, and far, far worse. It was enough to drive him to drink, out of sheer guilt.

March 2011

PJ twiddled his thumbs as he sat before Skyler, the woman he trusted with all his heart. His mind was filled with fearful thoughts and his heart agonized over her. He watched Charlie move across the floor and smiled for a second, then grimaced as pain sliced through him like a ten inch sword to the gut. Skyler reached for his shoulder and frowned. "PJ, what's bothering you? Talk to me, it's okay."

"You may hate me, Skyler." She would leave him, of that he was afraid. He looked up slowly and breathed in as images from the past started to fill his mind. Images he wanted to forget, feelings and emotions that he wanted to get rid of. He hated himself, he hated his parents, but he didn't need to. It isn't their fault he told himself, but yet he blamed them. Why? Why didn't they talk about it? Why didn't they at least push him? Gabe was old enough and he was dating Jo, he needed to go to the assembly. That was an absolute must, no other thing about it.

"I could never hate you. I'll support you no matter what, okay?" His lips curled and his heart beat for her. She was the reason for his happiness, she was the only person that could ever let him escape these dark, twisted feelings that he so wanted to trash. "Are you okay? Did someone hurt you? Did you do something?"

"It's more like I did something…" Charlie babbled happily as she started moving across the floor. She wasn't quite two yet, born on May 23th. Where was Bob that day? Drinking, just like he'd been doing through the whole thing. He wasn't drinking as much anymore, but he still refused to talk about 'the issue'. "Skyler. I uh, this isn't easy…"

"Okay PJ." Skyler moved closer to him and put her hand to his wrist, smiling gently. "I'm here. Just take a deep breath, and I'll be right here. Listening. I love you, you know that…there isn't a thing in this world that you can't tell me."

"Are you sure?" He had to tell Teddy to leave the house when Skyler was here today, he didn't want any distractions. Though, most of the time when Skyler was around, there were no distractions, there were no feelings, just her. The one woman he truly loved, feelings he thought, he hoped were real. "I…I do love you, Skyler. Please, please no that, and there is nothing that could ever come between that. I would never cheat on you, I would never lie to you, and you're the only girl that I know these feelings I have for you are…well…real."

Many things weren't real in this world. The imaginary friends Charlie sometimes talked to, the stories Gabe came up with, the lies that their parents feed their friends. The 'I'm proud' statements that came from Bob and Amy. No, those could never be real. For a time, he never thought love was real either. "PJ, take as much time as you need. Okay?" She smiled at him, warming his heart. Her soft hand squeezed upon his, throwing out all his worries and cares. "How I feel about you? That's real too. I promise. Love can overcome anything PJ, believe that."

"I'm not sure what I believe…" Why was this so hard? Every second he was about to tell her, but something would stab him like a knife and he couldn't. He watched Charlie once more, she was running off into the kitchen. He closed his eyes and ignored the pounding in his chest. "Skyler. Charlie is…really…my child." Skyler's eyes started to grow and she slowly shook her head.

"Okay." Her smile returned to him and his heart seemed to rise. So far so good. "Okay. So what happened, PJ?"

"It started as an experiment. I wanted…I wanted to know what it was like to, you know, have sex." Skyler pulled her lips back and slowly nodded. "So did the girl I experimented with. It was one time. However that one time created these…these thoughts. These feelings, and I hate them!"

"Do you still have these feelings for her? Is that it?"

"Well…" He felt his heart sinking down once more, this was the hard part, because he did still have them. The problem was, he didn't want them. He hated them, he thought he was some kind of monster for having them. So did the girl. He thought he was a demon. "Skyler, you're the only girl that's kept those feelings at bay, the only one that helped to push them away. I don't know how to escape them, they torture me every time I see her. Every time I think about her. I hate myself for them. I can't tell you how many times I've cried over them…"

"Are they unrequited? Was the sexual thing…was it consensual?"

"Yes. It was. You have to understand, Mom and Dad. They have this thing. They never told us anything about sex. They never talk about it, they've avoided it all my life, so I never knew. We never knew." Skyler slowly nodded and leaned back, her hand was shaking as if she were trying to process everything he was saying. There was no turning back now, so he had to force it all out, and he was trying to be careful. "So we had to find it out ourselves. When we did, it was just an experiment, we didn't know about…the effects…Mom and Dad still don't talk about it. Dad got himself drunk on the night of Charlie's birth, and Mom was working the night of the labor, so she was forced to be involved…"

"PJ. You haven't told me…who's the mother?" He slowly bowed his head and felt his stomach churn and twist inside. He put his hand to his stomach, groaning as the intense pain started to shoot up his esophagus. Skyler quickly grabbed his hand and looked him straight in the eyes. "PJ." He whimpered softly, sweat dripping down the side of his face. "Who is the mother? I've got an idea…I hope, really hope I'm wrong, but…it's not going to change a thing. Okay?" She was shuddering, her eyes misty. "I promise you, I still love you. I'll help you through this, okay? I will. I'll help you get over it, just…I need to know-"

"Teddy." Skyler jerked back and put her hands to her mouth, closing her eyes and absorbing the answer. PJ instantly threw his head down and grasped his head, pulling at tufts of his hair and sobbing. "God Skyler…I hate myself for it…I never knew. If I had known, it would never have happened." Bob and Amy were the blame. They had to be the blame. If they weren't the blame for not educating them, then who? "If we'd been educated about it, instead of constantly hearing our classmates talk about how 'great' sex was, then maybe…I don't know! Then sometimes when I'm around her, I feel like…there's this connection that we both feel, and it's scary. Very scary. It's like there's all this tension that just shouldn't be there between us! What's wrong with me Skyler? What's wrong with me!" He continued his frantic, pained sobs.

He felt her arms around him and slowly opened his eyes, glancing up as she put the side of her head to his back. Tears were running along her cheeks, but her lips were still curled into a smile. Her hug soothed him, calmed him. "Do you still have these urges, PJ?"

"Sometimes, but…when I'm with you they're gone. Like I said…"

"You're not a monster, there's nothing wrong with you. Sure sex creates a bond that's always kind of there, but those urges can go away eventually…"

"Am I a bad person?"

"No PJ. No you're not. You know those feelings are wrong. Does anyone else know?"

"Ivy…Ivy and Emmett have known…since she was pregnant. It created a lot of problems, but Ivy's her support. Emmett…kind of avoids it, ignores it, and comes around a little less."

"I'm sorry. I promise you I'll be here for you no matter what. I'll help you get over this somehow…"

Present Day-November 2011

Teddy's head shot up as PJ walked through the kitchen, she looked towards him and felt that nauseating feeling that comes after those desires that tormented her. Beside her was Ivy, who immediately grabbed her wrist and pulled her away before her thoughts started to get the better of her. "Teddy, let's get back to our talk, okay?" Ivy said with a gentle smile. God she loved Ivy, the girl was her godsend. "You said Gabe's school is fixing to host that sex education assembly, right?"

"Yes."

"You and PJ are going to take him to it?" They had to, they didn't want Gabe doing what they did with Jo. He had to know what sex was, even if Bob and Amy wanted to avoid that talk. She remembered when she first told Ivy what happened, the girl was silent for a long time and then finally she asked 'Didn't your mom ever give you the talk?' Of course, the answer was no. So far Ivy was the only one she trusted.

"Yes, but I don't want to go with him alone. Quite frankly, neither does he." PJ still talked to Skyler, but she moved to New York several months ago. He tried to escape by going to New York, but strangely, Bob went to bring him back. It was unfortunate, and those feelings and urges, the sexual tension, it all came back full blast after having been pushed down for so long. There was a moment when the two were alone, studying, their hands brushed and then their heads came so close together. Just thinking about it made Teddy want to hurl!

"Okay girl, you know I'll be there for you."

"Thank you…" Ivy hugged her close and Teddy let out a slow exhale. "There's something else I wanted to talk to you about…Spencer. I think I should tell him." When she was with him, it was similar to how Skyler was for PJ, those urges went away, even if it was only temporary. "What do you think?"

Ivy put her hands on the table and slowly leaned back, taking a sharp inhale. "Oh girl, you want to tell that flake that you and your brother…you know? Are you out of your mind?"

"If I don't tell someone else, I may lose my mind! You're not around all the time, and I feel like I need someone else there to comfort me, to make me feel better. Mom never wants to talk about this, and Dad, forget about it. He's still out of it." The guy drank on occasion, not as much as he used to, but he had managed to quit. "I want to tell the man I love the truth."

"I don't think it's a good idea, but he is your boyfriend. Granted, a boyfriend that cheated on you once and could very likely do it again." She knew the danger, but maybe it was the best way to escape. What if they had sex, and maybe the desires she had for PJ would go away?

"Do you think if I had sex with someone else…"

"Don't start that Teddy, you do not want to run that risk."

"I know, but…" She bowed her head and brushed her hair behind her ear. Her chest had a dull ache from her pounding heart, and her throat burned from the acid that her stomach was rejecting. She was having those thoughts about PJ again. "Ivy. I need help."

"I keep saying you need a therapist. Both of you do. My mom knows a therapist who could talk about this kind of stuff."

"But incest is illegal."

"It's okay. You're not engaging in it now Teddy, nor do you want to." Ivy paused as Teddy lifted an eyebrow. Her friend quickly shook her head and lifted her hands. "Okay, you don't really want to. There's a difference between urges and wants. You have the knowledge and power to not act on those urges, and both of you have been doing good for about three years now! I think it's high time, though, that you seek counseling. Separate, and then together when you're ready."

"T-Together? As in, in the same room? But…"

"Oh come on, you've shared a house for three years, well, sixteen years now. I'm sure you can share a therapy session…you know the therapists will want to do that anyway. It's a step in the healing process!" Healing? How was it healing?

"How?" She snapped, almost biting Ivy's head off from the irritation inside. "How is it healing?"

"Because Teddy…if you're in a controlled environment, you two can learn to get used to each other again on a normal and healthy sibling relationship without these urges torturing your brains out. Do you understand?"

"I do, but…" She grabbed her arms and focused on the terrible pounding within her chest. She was scared, frightened of therapy. She didn't want to be told she was crazy, she didn't want to be told she was a Monster. "I don't know…"

"It's always an option Teddy." Ivy put her hand to her shoulder and smiled at her. She lifted her eyes towards her friend's and smiled back. "You don't have to do it, I'm not going to force you, but whenever you're ready…you know I'll be there. I can't say the same for Spencer because I don't know how he'll react if you do tell him. Just…you need to be emotionally and mentally prepared. Okay?"

"I…I know…" As hard of a subject as it was to talk about, maybe telling Spencer right now wasn't a good thing. She was just sick of the resentment, as well as the hate each other felt towards whoever the other was dating. Sick of the nausea, sick of the lies, and sick of feeling like she wanted to throw herself off a bridge every time her brother entered the room. "Why couldn't mom and dad just warned us about this stuff…why leave us to our own…"

"Teddy you two were as much responsible for doing the deed as they were for not telling you anything about it."

"But when we saw those schoolkids talking about it, we asked mom and dad. They were like 'we don't know' and 'find out yourself', it's their fault!" There was the familiar anger flaring up that she needed to push down. It just wasn't fair, just like the fact that her mother was pregnant for real this year. "It's not fair. I should have known better…" She moved her hands to her face, letting her tears come out. "I can't even tell my own brother that I love him without feeling like…like…a monster."

"You're not, Teddy. You're human, and humans make mistakes." Was Charlie a mistake though? She truly loved her, that's why she made the video diaries. She loved Charlie with all her heart, the girl was her true daughter and she would always be hers, even if she thought her parents were someone else. Teddy had to realize, she could never, ever, tell Charlie the truth. At least, that was her fear.

"God help me…it hurts so bad…"

So you see the tragic part, the part that they must work through. The urges are there, but there won't be any actual incestual romance crap happening, that has obviously happened at this time, but the point is PJ and Teddy are trying to work to retain a healthy brother/sister relationship and get rid of these impulses. The big issue is trying to talk to the people they should be able to talk to about it, their parents, so that's another issue to work through. Then there's Gabe, who needs to see that the type of behavior isn't normal or right. So, it's going to be an emotional roller coaster ride, I'm sure. Plenty of drama, I hope you'll follow and enjoy it, because it will get good ^_^.