Rated T for mentions of suicide.
Just a little break from my other story (which I'm still working on, don't worry). This idea popped into my head last night while I was trying to sleep. I don't know why. My mind works in really messed up ways.
It's not my best writing, but I liked the idea so here it is. Enjoy. Please leave a review and let me know what you think!
The day had been delightfully uneventful. Well, Kurt supposed that 'uneventful' was a relative term. The most exciting thing that happened that morning had been a run-in with some jocks while he had been walking down the hall with Rachel and Brittany.
"Jesus, Hummel, why don't you just go kill yourself," scoffed one football player as they 'accidently' knocked him into the locker.
"Excuse me," demanded Rachel, turning on the meathead who was at least a foot and a half taller than her. "That was extremely rude and inconsiderate, not to mention downright inappropriate!"
Kurt pulled Rachel away before the confrontation got any worse, telling her that it wasn't worth it. Brittany followed the two of them, completely in her own world and oblivious to what had just happened.
Other than that small incident, the school day had been perfect. He definitely aced the pop quiz in calculus, gave a flawless oral presentation in French, and had even gotten a compliment on his outfit by a normally shy girl in his history class. Once glee was over, Kurt sauntered toward the auditorium, intent on trying out a couple of new songs.
The room was dark when he entered save for the safety lights that just lit up the stage where the piano was situated. He walked across the stage, the heels of his fashionable boots clicking on the ground, and gingerly set his bag down next to the piano. He peered at his reflection in the shiny finish on the huge instrument and adjusted the way his bangs fell. No matter the amount of product he seemed to use, his hair just never stayed put.
He was so intent on fixing his hair that he didn't notice the presence of another person in the room and nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard a voice speak out softly in the silence.
"Don't do it, Kurt."
The countertenor let out an undignified cry in surprise as he whipped around, wide eyes searching for the owner of the voice. He let out a sigh of relief as his eyes landed on the blonde Cheerio who was standing in front of the stage.
"Brittany! Jeez, you just about scared me to death!" he said, letting out a nervous chuckle.
"I'm sorry," the girl apologized, looking down in shame. "I didn't mean to. But…" she looked back up at him and Kurt was startled to see how distressed the girl looked. "Please don't do it."
Kurt's expression softened as he walked over to the edge of the stage and sat down, swinging his legs over the side. "Don't do what, Brit? I was just going to practice some…"
"You can't kill yourself, Kurt," the girl blurted out, eyes focused on a spot on the stage. "It would make me really sad."
Kurt blanched, completely thrown off guard. "Brittany, why- why would you think I would do something like that?" he asked her.
Brittany's eyes looked around the auditorium uncomfortably. "Those boys this morning, when they pushed you, they said you should kill yourself," she explained, backing up until her legs hit the cushion of one of the seats. The girl sat down heavily. "I don't want you to."
Kurt studied her face. This was Brittany, the girl who thought her cat was reading her diary. The girl who thought 'protection' meant a burglar alarm. She was usually quite the space case but now she seemed very focused very… here. He hadn't even been aware that she had really been paying attention to what happened in the hallway that morning, but apparently she had noticed the entire thing.
Kurt scooted himself off of the stage and sat in the seat next to Brittany. "Brittany, look at me," he said soothingly. The girl complied. He grabbed her hand and gave it a comforting squeeze. "I promise you that I will never do something like that, okay?" he told her, wanting her to understand. The topic had obviously upset her somehow and he wanted to make it better. "I will never, ever kill myself, no matter what, alright?"
The blonde gave a nod after a moment then returned her gaze to the floor. She put both hands in her lap and started fiddling with the hem of her Cheerio skirt.
The two sat in silence for a moment, Kurt unsure of what to say after a conversation like that.
"I wasn't always like this," said the cheerleader suddenly, still looking at the floor.
"Like what?" questioned Kurt curiously, brows raised neatly.
"Stupid."
The way she said it made Kurt uncomfortable. The tone said she was totally aware with what everyone thought about her and that it actually bothered her. "Brittany, you're not—"
"I used to have a brother," she interrupted.
"A brother?" Kurt was unsure how the topics were related. But this was Brittany, so he supposed there wasn't much logic in the typical flow of conversation.
"He was awesome. He taught me how to read and how to jump rope and even how to keep trolls from stealing my socks." Kurt saw the corners of her lips twitch as she recalled the memory. He stayed quiet, aware that she was revealing something very private and personal.
"He was like you," she continued, casting him a glance before returning her eyes to the floor. "I saw him kissing boys a few times when they came over to do schoolwork. I thought it was gross, but I was only six so I thought all kissing was gross." She paused, eyes completely focused on a wad of gum that someone had rubbed into the carpet. Kurt was drawn intently into the story, leaning forward slightly to catch everything that was said.
"My dad found out and got real mad. He yelled a lot. I heard Dan go into his room and close the door. He was crying." Her brows knitted together. "I wanted to make sure he was okay, but he told me to leave him alone. So I went back to my room and went to bed.
"I woke up real early. I had a bad dream. Whenever I had a bad dream I would go sleep with Dan. So I grabbed my blanket and went to his room. The door was unlocked so I opened it and went in. Dan was hanging from the ceiling fan."
Kurt's eyes went wide and immediately filled with tears. He couldn't believe… "Oh, Brittany," he said softly. He wanted to wrap her in his arms and hug her, but she didn't seem to want anything like that. In fact, she seemed rather matter-of-fact considering that she was talking about how her brother had just killed himself. Her eyes were dry and her face was stony. Kurt didn't understand how she could sit there like that, showing no emotion.
"I had to go see a lot of doctors. Therapists," she specified, continuing her story. "I didn't like them. I didn't talk to them at all. We moved to Lima. My parents thought I would get better in a new house and a new school. But it wasn't the same. I couldn't think. I met Santana in second grade and she became my best friend. She didn't ask me questions or get mad when I couldn't do my homework. I liked that."
There was a heavy pause. Kurt wiped his eyes, only then aware that a few tears had actually escaped.
"I don't want you to be like Dan," Brittany said softly after a moment. "It would be really sad and I would probably stop talking again. I don't want that to happen."
Whether she wanted it or not, Kurt took that moment to envelop Brittany in a crushing hug which she returned after a few beats. "I am so, so sorry that happened to you," choked Kurt, realizing that he was crying again. "I can't imagine how hard that must have been for you. I promise you that I won't end up like Dan," he told her, pulling back from the hug and looking her in the eyes. "I don't want to put you through that again."
Brittany nodded. "Okay," she said, seeming content. She tilted her head to the side as she looked at Kurt. "Can we go get ice cream?" she asked him.
"Ice cream?" clarified Kurt, wiping his eyes once again. "You want ice cream?" Kurt was still amazed that she hadn't shed a tear during this whole conversation. His chest hurt from containing sobs. And now she wanted ice cream.
"Well, you look really sad. Whenever I get really sad I get ice cream," she explained. "Or I make-out with someone. But I'm not a boy and you don't like making-out with me. We tried it before," she reminded him with a smile.
Kurt sighed and let out a small laugh. "I remember," he said with a nod. He got to his feet, grabbing Brittany up by her hands. "Let's go get some ice cream, then." He just hoped they had some ice cream that wouldn't go straight to his hips.
The girl grinned hugely and bounced on the balls of her feet. "Awesome!"
They walked out of the auditorium hand in hand, chatting about ice cream flavors and sock-stealing trolls.