A/N: This is my very first story idea that I wanted to write. Somehow I got caught up in a gigantic four part mega arc and put this little story on the back burner. I think now's a good time to bring it out to the light of day.
I do not own Kim Possible or any other characters. They are owned and mishandled by the Disney Co. of which I acutally do own stock so I guess that means I do actually own about .0000000000000010 percent of KP which is sort of insignifigant.
One day my dream is to have a email bot that works so I can respond to the many wonderous reviews I hope to receive.
Oh yea, This story takes place a year or so before STD. So Kim and Ron are still best friends for life.
Read and review receive a reply...eventually
Bubba
Ron quickly prepared his snacks and made sure all distractions were well out of sight. Tonight he was going to indulge his guilty pleasure. A pleasure that no one else knew about except for Rufus, he never even told his best friend in all the world Kim Possible for fear she would roll her eyes and snicker at him.
It was Thursday night mystery movie time on the Classic Movie Channel. Twelve hours of nonstop 1930's detective movies featuring his favorite detective Duke DeRosa. He giggled as he looked over the evenings movie list on the cable box, "Dial 'M' for Mayhem, Why is the Milkman Dead, Tunisia, The Ivory Pigeon...Booyah!"
Ron hit the escape button and the channel guide winked off the screen. There was a dish detergent commercial that he had to sit through before the movie was to start. He rolled his eyes, "Your soaking in it? 'Gasp' Oh this can't be dishwashing detergent?" He thought impatiently to himself, "Idiot woman lets a complete stranger dunk her hand into some kind of green chemical...I so don't think so."
The commercial ended as the host for the evening's movie marathon appeared to introduce the movie, "Good evening tonight's mystery movies are the classic RKO detective movies based on the wonderful characters from F. Thom Brenner's detective novels. The main character Duke DeRosa a rough around the edges, hard drinking, no nonsense private eye. Who solves crimes in 1930's New York City. He of course is played to perfection by the great Dick Cammeron."
"Come on I know all that all ready." Ron snapped at the TV impatiently.
Rufus shook his head and looked at his human, "Yea!" He said mimicking Ron's impatience as he helped himself to another cheddar chip.
"We start our 12 hour salute to Duke off tonight with the movie that started it all, "The 1933 classic The Midget Murders."
Ron giggled and clapped, "Rufus this movie is so cool...Duke has to track down this whacko that's offing circus midgets."
Rufus shrugged obviously unimpressed, "OK" and went back to his snacks.
The credits began to roll and Ron and Rufus cheered as the names appeared on the screen. The opening image of the old black and white movie was of a circus. The crowd was cheering a man on the flying trapeze.
The film then cut to a group of circus clowns waiting to go out after the trapeze artist was done. A tall clown with a large red nose looked down at a smaller clown dressed as a baby, "Hey Gene you got a cigarette?"
The little person patted his pockets, "Holy cats Chuck I left em' in the trailer...I'll be right back."
The little guy ran out the back of the tent unaware that he was being stalked. He ran into the trailer and found his cigarettes on the table and turned to see a man standing in the doorway with a gun, "No...no...I didn't do nothin'"
There was a close up of a .38 caliber Smith and Wesson revolver and a hand that pulled the trigger twice. The next image was of a little body laying on the ground partially obscured by the dressing room table.
"Cool stuff eh' buddy" Ron said happily to Rufus was paying absolutely no attention to him at all.
The cell phone began to ring on a shelf that over looked his bed. Ron looked at it strangely thinking for a moment that it was the trophy he won for the talent show that was ringing before he remembered that was where he had stashed his phone. He stood and grabbed the phone and looked at the number, "Kim, I wonder what she wants?"
"Hey KP" He said absently as he was trying to watch the movie and talk to his friend at the same time.
"Hey Ron, I know your loaded up with homework but Wade just called and Drakken and Killigan are trying to steal something from a train down at the rail yard."
"Mister DeRosa, my name is Hap Harwood. I own the Jolly Time Circus..."
"So do you have Midgets falling over dead from gun shot wounds often?"
"RON are you listening to me?"
Ron was startled back to reality, "Yea, yea Kim, Drakken and Killigan are at the circus yard...D'oh...I mean rail yard."
"Close enough I'll see you down here in five minutes we have a ride coming for us."
"You can count on me Kim." Ron said as he hung up the phone. He turned and looked at Rufus, "Aw man...Duty calls little guy."
He quickly changed and tried to watch the movie at the same time. Duke was trying to find suspects and was now talking to the clown's widow who was openly flirting with him.
"So Mr. DeRosa is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"
Ron pulled his red hockey jersey over his head and gave the TV a strange look, "I wonder what she meant by that?"
Rufus shook his head, "Oh boy"
"You know normally I like my women a little on the short side but..."
"You don't have to say it Mr. DeRosa...You think because I'm small that I can't please you like a real woman."
"Come on Rufus time to go." Ron said as he picked up his pet naked mole rat and headed to the door.
Ron ran down the stairs towards the front door, "Going on a mission with Kim be back later Mom."
His mother followed him out the door, "Don't be out too late it's a school night."
He held up his hand to let her know that he had heard her. Ron made it to the driveway of Kim's house just as their ride arrived to pick them up. Kim opened the door to the minivan and climbed in the front seat. Ron opened the side sliding door and took a seat in back.
"Cutting it a little close aren't you Ron?" Kim asked with just a twinge of annoyance in her voice.
"Sorry KP...I was distracted." He told her sheepishly.
She smirked, "I bet...Had the TV on a little loud didn't you."
Ron chose not to answer and Kim instead turned her attention to lady who was giving them the ride, "Thanks for lift Mrs. Spears."
"Oh it's no problem at all Kim after you helped my Brittney recover her career."
Kim smiled and shrugged, "So not the drama just a little drug and alcohol dependency, it was really no big."
"Hey, I was there too you know..." Ron chimed in.
Mrs. Spears narrowed her eyes at Ron, "Yes, I know.Telling Brittney in her fragile state of mind that bald girls were hot is hardly helping Ronald."
"Oh, sorry...My bad." Ron said sheepishly suddenly wishing he had said nothing at all.
The rest of the ride to the Middleton Railroad Station passed in silence. Ron stared out the car window and wondered just what part of the movie he was missing and if they could possibly make it back to catch the ending.
"Here you go kids." Mrs. Spears said pleasantly.
"Thanks again Mrs. Spears." Kim said as she got out of the car.
"Oh it's my pleasure Kim." Then she turned towards the backseat, "Make sure to close the door firmly Ronald."
He swallowed hard, "Oh...OK..." He said as he slammed the sliding door closed.
They both watched the pale blue Ford Windstar minivan drive down the street. Ron rubbed the back of his neck with his right hand, "Is it just me or did she seem a little out of sorts tonight."
Kim smirked, "Gee, you noticed."
"What?"
"Bald girls are hot...What were you thinking?" Kim said slightly bemused.
Ron shrugged, "I...I dunno..."
"I, I mean how many bald girls do you know?" Kim queried.
Ron screwed up his face as he tried to marshal his thoughts together, running all the names of different girls through his mind, "Brittney?"
Kim chuckled and shook her head, "Come on, let's go see if we can find Drakken and Duff."
"No mention of Shego...Must be a boy's night out." Ron mused.
"Awwwww They didn't mention little ol' me?" A voice said from behind them.
Kim quickly ran to her right and Ron peeled off to the left and turned to face the voice. It was Shego and she had just launched a plasma energy blast towards Kim. "Isn't it past your bedtime's, school night you know." Shego taunted.
"We'll be back home just as soon as I take out the trash." Kim retorted as she threw a punch towards Shego who blocked it and countered with a spin kick.
"Well if it's not...ummm...I'll think of the name in a sec..." Drakken said as he wracked his brain searching for Ron's name.
Ron turned just in time to see Draken and Duff Killigan standing behind him. Duff was holding a box, "Ah the wee laddie's come to play has he?"
He saw Duff wasn't holding the box very tightly so he punched the bottom of the box sending it airborne. Ron jumped into the air and grabbed it and took off running towards the train yard.
"Come back here with that we just stole it." Drakken called after him.
Duff pulled a driver out of his bag and aimed one of his special exploding golf balls at the boy who was running off into the distance. "Keep yer knickers on I'll bring him down shortly." He said as he hit the ball squarely towards Ron.
"RON LOOK OUT!" Kim yelled before Shego grabbed her by the arm and flipped her over her shoulder.
Shego looked up and saw Ron scamper around a corner before the golf ball could reach him and explode. She growled as she took off after Ron, "If you want anything done right..."
Kim picked herself up off the ground and brushed the dirt off her khaki mission pants. Saw that Shego was now chasing Ron, "Oh no you don't." She growled as she took off after her.
The exploding golf ball had narrowly missed him. Ron quickly ran down another alleyway. He could hear gravel crunching under his running feet and could smell the odor of machine oil from the work shed that housed the trains.
He paused to catch his breath and look around. He tapped his pocket twice and Rufus appeared, "Watch my back buddy. I got to hide this box and go back and try to help Kim."
Rufus promptly saluted and ran down his leg and back the way that he had originally came. Ron's eyes now darted around looking for a place to hide the box. Then he spotted it a large yellow boxcar that was tagged with graffiti. It was a very artistic word, very colorful. It read, "SPAZZZZZZ"
He nodded his head and made a mad dash for the boxcar he reached it he realized it was in for repairs and parked over a concrete pit that was used to work on the undercarriage of the railroad equipment. There he saw what appeared to be a manhole cover. He slid under the boxcar, dropped the box down the hole and pulled the cover back over the top.
"OK, it's hidden...Now to find Kim." He thought as he wiggled his way back out from under the boxcar.
He brushed his clothes off and saw Rufus running back towards him. Ron caught sight of a box from the corner of his eye. He quickly grabbed it as a green plasma energy blast erupted from up the tracks, "Shego...Gotta try and stay out of her way."
Shego finally caught sight of Ron, "There's nerdlinger with the box." She thought before she was suddenly sent forward by a vicious kick to the small of her back.
"We're not done yet Shego." Kim said as Shego quickly gained her feet and came running at her.
"Time for Princess to go nighty night." She growled as she threw a punch towards Kim's head.
Kim grabbed the arm and flipped Shego over her shoulder. Shego landed on her feet and spotted Ron running towards them, "Sorry princess but the buffoon has something we need." She said as she sprang towards a stack of crates and onto the roof of a train shed.
Both her hands were now glowing green gathering energy before she launched both plasma balls towards Ron, "I want that box nerdlinger."
He saw the energy balls coming his way but he couldn't stop his forward momentum. The energy balls landed just in front of him exploding, lifting him into the air and sending him back 15 feet where he collided hard with the brick wall with a sickening thud.
Ron lost consciousness.
"Is he going to be alright mom?"
"I think so Kimmie...He's received a nasty blow to the head. He may have a concussion."
Ron could hear Kim and her mother talking but they seemed so far away. He became aware of something poking his cheek. His eyes fluttered open and he saw a very worried looking Rufus looking at him.
Then the pain hit him. He felt as though a trashcan had been placed over his head and hit repeatedly with a baseball bat. He groaned loudly.
"Ron are you OK?"
He heard the voice it was Kim. She was OK. He felt relief that they both weren't hurt. He took a breath and licked his lips, "I...I feel...My head hurts." He said quietly.
Kim's mother reached over and opened up an eye and shone a light into it, "Ron, your at the hospital. Do you remember what happened to you?"
Ron tried to keep his eyes open but his head hurt so badly, "N...no"
"Do you know what day it is?"
He tried to think, it was a day that had a 'T' in it, "Tuesday"
Kim wiped a tear from her eye and looked at her mother and whispered, "It's Thursday."
Her mother gave her a stern look, "No it's Friday now."
She pulled her head in sheepishly, "Sorry mom."
"I...I blew it again didn't I?" Ron asked wearily.
Kim patted his hand, "Don't worry Ron, we'll get em' tomorrow."
"Can you sit up Ron?" Mrs. Dr. P. asked.
He tried to move but his whole left side hurt. He felt two pairs of hands on him helping him sit up. He heard Mrs. Dr. P. sigh, "I think he should stay for observation."
Now Ron's head was beginning to clear and he was becoming scared. He didn't like being in hospital. Hospitals were for sick people, "No...no...I just want to go home." He said the fear now clearly evident in his voice.
"Mom?"
Mrs. Dr. P. continued to look him over, "Well we are close incase something happens."
Kim breathed a sigh of relief, "Ron you're going home...You're going to be OK."
"B...booyah" He said as he tried to muster the energy to sound excited.
Mrs. Dr. P. brought in a wheelchair and then they helped Ron to the floor. Ron's world began to spin and the colors that flashed before his eyes were making him nauseous. They quickly sat him down in the wheelchair.
Mrs. Dr. P. had him lean over and put his head between his legs, "Are you still feeling dizzy?"
Kim had both hands over her mouth frightened by how ghostly white Ron's skin had turned before they were able to get him into the wheelchair. There was no answer and this scared Kim even more, "RON?"
He was taking quick shallow breaths, "I...I'll be okay...Where's Rufus?"
Rufus quickly scampered on the floor to where Ron could see him, "Here I am."
Ron could feel the tears welling in his eyes. He choked them back, "Good...I thought you might have been hurt too...I want to go home."
Mrs. Dr. P. helped Ron sit back up, "I'm going to wheel you up front now."
They helped Ron into the Possible's car and drove him back to his house. Kim rode in the backseat with her friend. Mrs. Dr. P. glanced at them from time to time to see how he was handling the ride home.
Once they reached the Stoppable residence Kim looked up at all the darkened rooms, "Mom at work?"
Ron nodded, "Yea...Dad's probably asleep."
Mrs. Dr. P. got out of the car with her daughter and helped Ron out of the backseat, "Can you walk Ron?"
"A...a little."
Kim put her arm around him and helped him inside the house. Then she took him nice and slow up the stairs till they reached his room. Kim sat him on the bed and looked at the old black and white movie playing on the television and all the different snacks that were laid out, "So this was your big night of homework?"
Ron frowned, "I...I didn't want you to know...I was afraid you'd laugh at me."
She nodded and looked at the screen, "Sam Spade?"
"No...no...Duke...something..." Ron said as he strained to remember.
Kim nodded and pulled is shirt up over his head. Then she took his shoes off and then pulled off his pants. The fly on his boxers fell open. She looked away quickly, self consciously, embarrassed. She giggled to herself as she blushed, "Now I see why he always wears boxers."
She laid Ron down on is pillow and covered him with a blanket. His expressionless eyes staring vacantly at the television, "Want me to turn it off?" She asked.
"No...no" He said weakly.
Kim sat down next to him for a moment and ruffled his hair, "I'll check in on you in the morning...OK?"
"OK" A very tired voice replied.
She glanced over at the little table at the foot of his bed and saw Rufus settling in with the cheddar chips. She pointed at him, "You better keep a close eye on him."
Rufus nodded as Kim quietly let herself out of his room.
Ron lay there on the bed still dazed. His eyes staring at the detective images on the television, "I wish I could be like Duke...Man, he's so cool..."
"So you finally figured it out did ya."
"Lenny I had you pegged as a no good two bit punk the minute I laid eyes on ya."
"Well too bad because it's curtains for you DeRosa..."
'Bang...Bang' "I had the drop on ya all the time Lenny...Now I've got the Ivory Pigeon."
"If I was cool and smart like that I could really help Kim out...I wouldn't be so much of a screw up." He thought sadly as he continued to watch the movie.
"Gee Duke that was some swell shooting."
"Yea...I only wish I had gotten to him before he killed my partner Norm Chomsky."
"Well if it's any comfort to you. I think old Norm's bellying up to that big bartender in the sky and ordering a double shot of scotch right about now."
"You really think so Father?"
A grin crossed Ron's face as the credits rolled across the screen and the next movie began, "If I could really help Kim...It would be a real team and maybe even...That one guy on the little blue thingie she talks into...What's his name...darn headache...Wayne would make cool things for me too."
"So Detective Moultree what do I owe the pleasure of this little visit?"
"I'm afraid you're going to have to come down to the station with me Duke."
"Why what for? Can't you see I'm only halfway through this bottle of scotch?"
"Larry LaManche was found shot to death down on the bowery."
"So what's that got to do with me?"
"Eva McClure heard you threatening him earlier today."
"So what, I threaten lots of people."
"They found your gun by the body Duke."
"Your out of your tree Mark, my gun's right...Hey wait this is some kind of put up job...I'm being framed I tell ya."
"Don't make this difficult Duke."
"Stoppable's a stupid name anyway...I could be Ronnie Diamond...yea...Ronnie Diamond...Private Eye" Ron mumbled to himself as he drifted off to sleep as the black and white images of the old detective movies flickering across his eyelids and implanting themselves upon his damaged psyche.