For those who ARE familiar with My Immortal, I want to make this loud and clear. I do NOT want to leech off of the fame of that fanfic. I do NOT to gain views simply from having this in the title. This is me making a parody of it, yet making my own universe out of it. I am not trying to get some cheap views out of it, so please shut up if you're going to accuse me of just using My Immortal to somehow boost my own Internet fame. If I want to become famous on the Internets, I would either join anonymous or 4chan.

Also, as a further disclaimer, I am not going to spam inappropriate language, offensive material, or sex scenes in this. This is a parody, not an adaption, and certainly not an attempt to put My Immortal back on .

With that being said, for those who are not familiar with My Immortal, the infamous Harry Potter fanfic by the teenage girl of Internet infamy, Tara Gilesbie, please enlighten yourself with this audio version:

/bt/the-sage/fanfic-theatre/15170-ep012a

/bt/the-sage/fanfic-theatre/16465-my-immortal-part-ii

/bt/the-sage/fanfic-theatre/17728-my-immortal-part-iii

/bt/the-sage/fanfic-theatre/19181-my-immortal-part-iv

Now, if you don't feel like tracking me down and strangling me for killing your brain cells with such tat (as Ashens, or frankly any British person would be opt to call it), I had this idea swimming in my head. It's really just a version of My Immortal that makes it work... while still having it co-exist with the fanfic. You see, I actually have nothing against having changes with crossovers, some character changes, motivational or physical (though origins and personality I like to keep intact, which is one of my major issues with My Immortal, but moving on), and I do think there was some... well... some parts of My Immortal could be salvaged. ... Ok, that's a total lie, but I do think that My Immortal opens up an element in Harry Potter that would be fun to play around with - Magic being common knowledge in the real world, but still only exclusive to wizards.

This would explain why bands like Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson hold concerts in Hogsmeade, Gothic and Prep culture being adopted in Hogwarts, and other stuff. ... Ok, no, it doesn't, but it opens up a lot of possibilities for exploit and parody that I just feel like abusing. If you're not a fan, I understand. Don't spam me with a flame war; just ask me to take down the thing if everyone hates it.

I apologize in advance for the long rant, but I hope you guys can give me some criticisms or just flat-out tell me if I suck.

And no, no tl;dr version. Go back and read the entire thing, you silly.

Chapter 1 - The Prideful Raven

It was unclear when the world of Muggles and the world of Wizards were finally revealed to each other.

Some historians, both Muggle and Wizard, had dated this back to the 1994 Quidditch World Cup, where the Memory Charms that had supposedly disoriented the Roberts family had actually not been enough to fully erase their memories, and outcry and proof of the family forced the Muggle Prime Minister to reveal the existence of the Wizard world. Others pointed to the ineptitude of a Muggle Prime Minister or the exemplifying efforts of spies on the Muggle Prime Minister, spies that had debatably been American (of course) in nature, seeing the Muggle Prime Minister speaking with the Minister of Magic one fateful night. Another theory was that a Wizard simply got drunk and cast an Incendio charm in a bar, an embarrassing incident that was spread viral by YouTube.

In the end, it didn't really matter. The Wizarding World was exposed to the Muggles, and soon the Ministry of Magic was bombarded by a plethora of political requests, treaties, pleas, and even some threats all relating to their methods of transportation, their currency, their expansive empire entwined in the world, magical creatures now confirmed to be hiding in the eyes of Muggles, and, possibly the one everyone expected, the usage and education of magic. Some nations wanted magic canceled entirely, seeing it as a type of WMD. Others wanted to spread its use, seeing it as an earth-shattering development in both technology and magic. Many requests were flooded to magical schools around the world, most prominent of them Hogwarts, as families all over the world wanted their family to have a 'magic-user' in the family. Fiction had become reality, and some of the Wizards' worst nightmares had come to life.

Yet, surprisingly, it came out well. Sure, it took careful casting of Memory Charms out of the watchful eyes and ears of bugs and spies, but they suppressed the more sensitive issues and carefully guarded secrets of the Wizarding World, avoiding what could have been an international crisis that may have even succeeded World War II as the biggest, most bloody conflict in world history. Gringotts was exposed, yes, but they had managed to keep its more private deposits secret, letting everyone know it was merely an international banking and economy service to help unify the Wizarding World, not unlike the European Union. The Philosopher's/Sorcerer's Stone, Unicorn Blood, and other forms of extending life through magical means were dispelled as wizard rumors and fairy tails. Recognizing the Ministry of Magic and the Wizarding World as its own nation, a representative was admitted into the United Nations, much to his discontent as he was immediately berated on issues regarding the use of magic and its influence throughout the world. Most importantly, critically-sensitive information that would have sparked riots and panic throughout the world, Voldemort was officially wiped from all records of the magical world, reduced to whispers within the magical community. The Ministry of Magic knew, solemnly, that if any word of Voldemort was exposed to the world, the resulting crisis would undermine every effort they have attempted to keep peace.

Time had passed since that fateful event. Years? Months? No one knew. However...

The quill pen clattered to the floor, accompanied by a pained groan. The Ravenclaw gingerly rubbed her wrists, feeling each muscle pulse with pain, equal in rhythm to her heartbeat. Born to a muggle father and a college sweetheart, who he learned was formerly a wizard which had decided to pursue a medical career to (subtly) aid people in hospitals prior to the revelation of magic, Terra Massingale couldn't help but feel that, if a wizard and scientist ever came together to make a magical time machine, she would go back in time and stop the worlds from colliding, even if it did trap her in a time period or erase her from existence.

Anything was better than the damn essay they were now forced to write for the Muggle Studies.

"I need a break," she said finally, leaving the pen stuck in an ink vial. Leaving the paper covered (with her Transfiguration textbook, so as not to accidentally (on purpose) incinerate her paper out of spite), she left her room, the door slamming behind her with a satisfying crack. Since the new co-existence of the two worlds, each knowing of the other's existence, as well as some new admissions from interested Muggle parties rather than Hogwarts picking people it noticed personally for having the talents for a wizard, some of the influences from the Muggle world had found its way in Hogwarts and nearby Hogsmeade. One in particular was the importation of TVs and computers, and some later extents iPods, video game consoles, and even some sports of an ordinary high school. It gave Hogwarts a psuedo-magic normal vibe, and Ravenclaw, possibly the last of the houses to adopt these, was eventually no exception. While there was still a number of them occupying the bookcases that were commonplace in the common room, there were also students occupying themselves with chatrooms or PC games like Starcraft 2 and Call of Duty: Modern Warfare, with others watching some movies or shows on the TVs. An unknown Ravenclaw, either through sheer boredom or experimentation, had managed to somehow create a spell that messed with codes on video games, and later even modifying the appearance of how some visuals came out on computers or TVs to create custom 'mods' for shows and video games. Such a manipulation of magic to modern technology was something that the Head of House, Professor Flitwick, wished to reward its creator with high Hogwarts honors. However, like most famous Internet 'coders', the creator of the spell wished to keep his identity anonymous.

One of the TV stations (as they were laughably dubbed, as the Ravenclaws had arranged the room in a series of alternating tables and couches to occupy reading stations, computer stations, movie stations, and video game stations), was not as packed as the others. While there had been a planned System Link party for a massive Infection game on Halo: Reach, this station had about three people piled up on a couch, one holding a 360 controller in hand and popcorn in another as the three shared the food and watched him play. The dramatic music blaring from the TV couldn't begin to match the loud explosions and gunfire from the system link party (with the Ravenclaws split between a relatively docile and a notably loud team), the visuals of a spaceship weaving through asteroids and matching energy cannons with a behemoth of a spacecraft, a menacing ship firing a strident red beam against the smaller ship's blue one.

"Mass Effect 2 again?" Terra joked, plopping up beside the engrossed gamer. "Which playthrough this time?"

"6th. Insanity. Engineer," stated the one on the far right of the couch, opposite. "Shouldn't you be working on your essay, Terra? It's due tomorrow, and Professor Burbage is reeling from the lack of pupils interested in Muggle Studies. Surprising, thinking that a newblood like yourself would be the one most interested in that class.

Newblood, Terra mused. While there was still a number of people who accused students of Muggle descend of being Mudbloods, this had fallen to a new term, newblood, which referred to Muggles who had actively vouched for their or their child's participation in Hogwarts and had managed to squeeze them in. While it could be derived as an offensive term, most people, those in particular those in Ravenclaw, took it as a play on the term 'newbie', given how these newbloods were often ill-prepared to deal with the wonders of the Wizarding World. "Yeah, yeah, Kelly. Suck it up; I've been busy trying not to fail in Potions."

"It's Snape," Kelly laughed, running a finger through the red hair that ran down to below her shoulders. "When has anyone ever passed that class?"

"You are," Terra muttered, crimson eyes narrowed to a piercing glare.

"Who else besides m-"

"Ross and Jacob here," she replied, suppressing the need to whack her wand on Kelly's head.

"Yo," Ross greeted, holding up a peace sign to his head as was trademark of him. Jacob, similarly trademark, remained engrossed in the cutscene, fingers twitching on the buttons, eager to return Shepard to battle against the Collector threat.

"Did he finish Demon's Souls?"

"Nah, not yet. Exhausted himself on a boss, had to end his playthrough for a day," Ross replied, inbetween the chews of a mouthful of popcorn. "Playing some Mass Effect to calm himself."

Terra, intrigued, took a long look at the almost stoic expression of her gamer friend. Jacob, in comparison to his year-older friend of 14-years, looked greatly fatigued and worn, sweat plastering his pale skin and his brown eyes reddened and irritated. His hair, equal in shade to his eyes and fairly short, was disheveled from what could have only been him pulling at it in rage, and his hands had began to shake from anticipation. Ross, looking particularly well in comparison, pressed down his blonde hair (for what could have been the 70th time today, as was a habit of his) and placed a hand over his best friend's shoulder, helping to calm him.

"Hey, Kelly. Want to grab something to eat?" Terra asked, growing disinterested in watching Shepard preparing his team (all of them, of course) for the inevitable battle in the Collector Facility.

"Sure. This is growing a bit boring, anyway."

Rising simultaneously, the two Ravenclaws bid farewell to their two friends (only one waving back in departure) and descended the spiral staircase leading to the entrance of the Ravenclaw section of the school. Leaving behind the starry-domed common room, the two descended a small flight of stairs before coming to the entrance of the common room, the entrance sealing shut behind them. Terra absentmindedly slid her hand down the bronze raven knocker that indicated the Ravenclaw common room, an odd little habit that she had developed back in her first year and continued since.

"Coming?" Kelly asked, already starting down the endless staircases that composed the Hogwarts hallways.

"Yeah, yeah," she replied with a sigh, racing down to meet with her friend.

"Absolutely love Chocolate Frogs!" Kelly squealed, her blue eyes taking an odd zeal as she bit off half of the trapped frog. The poor little enchanted chocolate, seized in the vicegrip of the Ravenclaw, failed to squeeze from her grip before half of its body was devoured. Terra, smiling politely, tore off a leg fro her dazed frog and swallowed it, trying to savor the chocolate in-between the squirming of the limb down her esophagus.

"Must you be so harsh with your frogs?" Terra asked, peeling off another limb. "You went through half a packet before we got to Halloween."

"Not my fault they're so damn tasty," she replied, swallowing the frog with a second, final bite. Pocketing the card packaged alongside it (much to Terra's irritation, as she prided herself on having a full collection to show her family by the time she graduated from Hogwarts but seemed to always get the same three cards over and over again), she unwrapped another card, quick to smack the frog over the head with her frog before the chocolate could so much as croak. Starting from the right side, it was cleanly dissected with her teeth, with a second bite sure to finish it off.

"OMFG, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!"

The high, strident voice was unmistakable, its piercing soundwave causing both Ravenclaws to cover their ears for fear of having their eardrums ruptured from further abuse. The frog, dropping to the ground, hopped away on its remaining leg, sadly disappearing from sight in its desperate bid for freedom.

"Oh god..." Terra moaned, both hastening their pace.

Pressing through the Great Hall, the two easily identified the source of what could be both Ravenclaw and Hugglepuff misfortunes. Since the merge of human and Wizarding worlds, the impact of the former's world on Hogwarts was... unfortunate and... somewhat heartbreaking. Gryffindor had fallen fast, but unsurprisingly it was Slytherin that had fallen first, and truly a fall from the stature Slytherin had held was one that resounded in the world, then echoed upon itself and continued until everyone was driven deaf or insane. Passing two of the Slytherin students was just an example of how some changes were, obviously, not for the better. Abandoning the robes that were previously required before half of the school (Dumbledore included in this insanity-fueled coup of all things normal and sane.), the two girls dressed in all black looked as though they were Hot Topic girls dressed by a bunch of retarded toddlers. Terra said this lightly; she didn't want to insult the toddlers.

"There goes that Willow girl," Kelly moaned, pulling out another chocolate frog. "And that... what was her name?"

"Enoby Dorkness Demented Retard Way," Terra quipped, a mutual laugh of satisfaction shared with them. "Can you believe they're star students?"

"Can you believe that Harry—Oh wait, 'Vampire', actually fell into that category?"

"I'm still trying to get over the fact that the Hogwarts trio all fell victim to this stupidity and joined Slytherin. That 'goffik' crap they spam in their band makes my ears bleed."

"Could be worse."

Terra frowned, all blood fading from her face as she considered her friend's proposal. "What do you mean?"

"They could be a Gryffindor."

They shuddered, the mere mention sending chills down to their spine as though they were hypothermia victims in Azkaban. "I'm sure Godric Gryffindor rolls in his grave every time someone falls into that house and gets infected with... whatever the hell contaminates that house."

"No I so fucking don't!"

Cringing at the mere sound of Ebony's voice, the two turned to watch the duo be approached by a certain blonde Slytherin. While he was a proud, dignified student in his first few years, Draco Malfoy had fallen from his grace (as did half of his family, but Terra could barely stand one Malfoy in the same room as her), becoming some desperate little suck-up Slytherin with an odd obsession with this Ebony girl and dressed in clothes that would make Afro Samurai look intimidating and cool by comparison.

"Hi." he said.

"Hi." she replied flirtily.

'Flirtily?' Terra had to ask, as the word forced itself into her narrative. 'What the fuck kind of word is flirtily?'

"Guess what." he said.

"What?" she asked.

"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade." he told her.

"Good Charlotte," Kelly whispered in her ear, sounding as though the three had just restrained her and poured liquid mercury into her mouth. "Every time those guys hold a concert, all the damn Slytherins flood Hogsmeade and I swear, it gets so loud from cries of how Joel is so hot that it could probably be heard in Canada."

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" she screamed. I love GC. "They are my favorite band, besides MCR."

Terra gingerly supported her ear, tears beginning to well from her pained eyes. "Ow. Ow. Yeah, I think that ruptured an eardrum."

"Well…. do you want to go with me?" he asked.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no," the two chanted synonymously, dreading the inevitable answer that would leave the night sleepless and themselves in the Medical Wing for the treatment of damaged ears.

She gasped.

"Ok, fuck this," Terra scoffed, spinning on her heal as she turned to the grand staircase. "I'm gonna go reserve myself a bed in the medical ward. Send word to Ross and Jacob that we won't be in class tomorrow."

"I can barely hear you!" Kelly yelled back in mock amusement, cupping her hand to her ear with a sheepish smile to her face.

"Fine, I'll go send an owl."