The lonely angel

I always take the quick route, drifting through time like light speed. I always seem to come across new adventures of strange new worlds, stars, creatures, black holes and history. Not that it ever bothers me, it's how I live. It's how I have lived ever since they were all destroyed, all of them burning in fire. I have never stopped running, running back and forth through the vortex like a frightened child. I was destined to be alone and that is the worst part of everything.

Then there were humans, earth offered me a base, a sanctuary. It was cruel that I chose it as sort of a second home, seeing as how danger often revolves around me. I was also cruel to drag humans along with me; emotions to deep and mixed not let them travel with me, the loneliness becoming just too overwhelming. I let them leave the slow path behind. One by one I had lost them all in some shape or form. I miss them, but nothing can be done to replace any of them, no matter how I try. I build up an invisible barrier to protect myself from being alone, and I build it with them, again and again.

Then there was Torchwood and there was him. Ever since I lay my eyes on him I knew something was different, even in the chaos of the Daleks stealing the earth and attempting to take over the universe. When I saw him on that little screen in the TARDIS I knew he was special, by the way Jack had looked at him too, I could tell.

I decided that one day I would pay a visit. And eventually, one day I did. After another whirlwind of trouble I had landed back on earth in Cardiff, confidence in place and a smile gracing my features, but the loneliness still bitterly tucked away, no companion by my side. Jack of course had been delighted on my visit, his charm and sarcastic wit had never withered. Although it was my natural instinct to avoid Captain Jack Harkness, his secretive newly built Torchwood had driven me back. But the main thing which had made me come was Ianto Jones. Jack had always had a soft spot for humans too and I knew straight away he had taken a particular liking for Ianto also. There was clearly something going on between them.

It didn't bother me though; I was here for no particular reason in their minds anyway. They had no idea I longed for a little part of something they had to cure my need for company. I stayed for a few weeks or so, slowly bonding with the rest of the team and as much as I could to Ianto. I helped them out with their work, taking some of the strain off of them, and to my joy they seemed to like having me around. Me and Ianto became very close, he would tell me about him and Jack over coffee, all his little secrets, the things he usually would write in his diary.

Jack noticed and had eventually approached me on the subject.

"You like him right?"

He watched over me with a smirk as I fiddled with the computer screen, attempting to gain access to a few secret files we needed on a certain alien case. I tried to stay looking blank, glasses perched on the tip of my nose.

"I don't know what you mean"

Jack let out a boisterous laugh.

"I knew it. Great minds think alike right?"

He simply stood grinning at me, until I grinned stupidly back, until we were both laughing in our own secretive and cheeky way. Jack was never one to stand in my way over much, and he had always been extremely open about the relationships he kept, alien or human.

Now the day has come when I have decided it is time to leave, I'm not the same without the rest of the universe by my side, I'm not me unless I travel. I say goodbyes to everyone else, hugging Martha tightly as she whispers so longs. She had recently joined Torchwood for good, her job with unit she has decidedly put an end to. I give Jack a quick salute and a smile before I approach Ianto cautiously.

"Well um, I suppose this is so long aye? Unless, that is... do you want to come along?"

"Excuse me?"

Aha, the ever polite and handsome Ianto Jones. I step a little closer to him, lowering my voice to shield us from the others, Jack is still stood grinning, watching us with amusement.

"You told me a few days ago about wanting to see the rest of the universe. This is your chance Ianto Jones. The offer is here, if you would like it. There is so much I have to show you, you know."

"Why me Doctor?"

"Well. Because I like you, there's something special about you, quite frankly I find you brilliant."

A blush creeps its way across his cheeks and I see the beginnings of a little smile. Then to my pleasant surprise he moves closer to me, before closing a small gap and pecking his little lips against mine. A rush of warmth comes over me as his hand reaches to touch my neck, mine sliding to his lower back. We stand in position for a matter of minutes, arms around each other, until to my dismay the sweet kiss is neatly broken. Ianto looks over to Jack and the rest of his team before warmly looking back at me, but with a tiny and meaningful frown on his face.

"I'm sorry, but I can't just up and leave this lot. I can't stay away from earth; I have too much here right now. It may not seem like it, but it's not my time just yet. Perhaps one day in the near future I'll be ready to come with you. I hope you understand."

My heart sinks. But I do understand, and he makes painfully perfect sense. One of the things I admire him for is his honesty and his common sense, as well has his kind heart. I step forward again to press another light kiss to his cheek.

"I do understand. I'll come back one day. "

"Unless you find somebody else to love?"

Love. The word doesn't strike me often, but when it does, it hits hard. I'm not sure how deeply I could love Ianto, but I'm quite sure it would be enough to make me do anything for him, no matter how terrible.

"No. I'll wait for you, even if I do find new company. I promise I will come back for you Ianto Jones."

He smiles again before entwining his fingers into mine.

"Come to visit again?"

"I will."

"Thank you, my very own beautiful, lonely lord of time. Promise me to never let yourself get too alone no matter how far you travel."

"I Promise." He squeezes my hand before letting go and turning his back and walking away. I know it's too painful for him to stay and watch me go, because I feel the very same. I smile and wave to the others, fixing Jack with a look before casting my eyes to the leaving Ianto, a secret message to Jack of "look after him." It is difficult for a time lord when they make such a strong connection with someone, with our own species that was a shared suffering, a shared love. Unfortunately I can now only connect to other races, mainly humans by my own choice. But I mustn't think of that now.

I make my way into the TARDIS before closing the doors with a click of my fingers, a trick told to me by another loving human, my future companion, River Song. It hurt to let her go.

It hurts to let him go, but if it is his wish for now, then I accept it, even with a lonely heart.

END