My best friend is James Potter. Yesterday he turned 14. Amoung the happy hours that were his birthday party, I learned something. Something he he didn't seem to plan on telling any of us.
My best friend is James Potter, and he has a death wish.
Yes, it's true, you have, indeed, read correctly. He has a death wish, and not for one Snivellus like one might assume. He's quite set on ending his own life.
Granted, he might not see that his death is the inevitable outcome, bit it is what will happen unfortunately. If that Trelawney character knew, she'd certainly agree, and not just because all of those fits she calls visions are morbid as my mum on Muggle borns. It's fact. He's sealed his fate for an untimely death.
Who, you ask, will be to blame for his death, aside from himself? None other than that vile Lily Evans. Yes. The very same who is ALWAYS and ENDLESSLY calling James and I pigheaded toe rags. She's not even original. I don't know what he sees in her.
Oh. Sorry. I've just lost you, haven't I? James fancies her. Mad, I know, but I blame his eyesight. He's too blind to notice how awful she is. This is why he'll die. Damn his speccy self!
Right. On to the point. James plans on actually making a move on Evans. No, he didn't tell me, obviously, but I know him too well. Okay, so Remus knows him too well. But now Remus has made me aware f the fact that James fancies the devil woman, I see all. I'm like God. All and knowing and whatnot. With my faithful adviser, of course. Yes, I mean Remus, keep up will you?
So, if you're as concerned for James' well being as I am, you're wondering what I'm doing here, writing this while his life is in danger. The answer is quite obvious. Two reasons. One, he'll know I know if I try to save him and then avoid me and ruin all reasons for number two: When he dies, I need solid evidence that Evans is at fault. Just because James is suicidal, doesn't mean she has to help.
Having stated the above, I pronounce this the documentation os the Suicidal Attempts of Mr. James Potter and the Assistance of Miss Lily Evans.
-Sirius Black.