Disclaimer: I don't own anything! Although I wish I did because Juniper and Grover are just too cute!

*Sorry for the angst!*

oooOOOooo

"You're coming back to me."

You let out the breath you're holding and close your eyes. Your heart is thudding, it's pounding, and you realize you're shaking but that's okay. You're not ashamed, you don't try to hide any of it because this is Juniper and if you can't show her how you feel who can you show?

Her arms snake around your waist and you lean back against her, relaxing for the first time in days. You're so exhausted, so tired of being a leader, so tired of worrying you'll mess up- as you always inevitably do- and let everybody down. You don't want all these people looking to you, relying on you. All the campers, your friends… you could be the reason they die in a couple of days.

Now you know what Percy means when he tells you he's tired of it all. It's absolutely exhausting. A person could go mad.

"Did you hear me?" Juniper's voice is firm in your ear but you hear it waver. You hear the emotions she's only thinly concealing from you. "Grover, you're coming back to me."

"Juni…." You turn, her arms falling from where they rest, and now your arms are the ones around her, pulling her closer. You take her in, her bright red hair, freckles, beautiful creamy skin, green eyes….

You love her. You love her so much it's physically hurting you to do this.

"I'll try."

It's the best you can give her. Because this war with Gaea and the giants… it will be worse, 1,000 times worse than the Battle of Manhattan. You know it. The camps know it. And Juniper does too. It's why she's so worried, why she's been so tense the last little while.

"Not good enough." She presses, staring into your eyes, looking deep inside of you. It's like she sees your soul, nothing is hidden from her. "Come back. Promise me."

A pause. "I can't."

Now it's her eyes that close and you have to watch her lips tremble, have to see how she takes a breath, calms down and opens her eyes once more. The only hint of her almost-breakdown being the slight sheen in her beautiful eyes.

"Please." She pleads.

It's a broken whisper and it makes you wish, for one self-loathing selfish second, that you didn't have to do this.

You hate yourself every time you think this, these traitorous thoughts, yet you can't stop them. You wish, selfishly, downright selfishly, that Percy would take the burden from you once more as he always seems to do. That he would come to the rescue and save the day and lead the camp because you can't do it and they need somebody.

But you know Percy already has more than enough to do. He's in the Seven, who are already one their way to Greece. He's been through so much already, Tartarus for the gods sakes, and he's your best friend. You don't wish this on him. Not really.

You just wish it didn't have to be you.

Because Camp Half-Blood (and now even Camp Jupiter too) are relying on you to lead them. They count on you to make peace treaties and now lead the armies into battle, rally the nature spirits and get everybody to Greece safely.

There are others of course. Clarisse, Rachel, Reyna, Nico even…. Chiron. But you have more responsibility and pressure than ever before. You've never walked into a battle knowing there's an extremely small chance of you not making it out of it.

Because Luke… you were his friend, you knew there was hope for him. And Kronos…. he's tough, he's scary and you yourself never could have taken him, but you knew Percy could. You believed in your best friend.

But this is Gaea. So much worse than Kronos. The earth itself, this goes against your very nature. You love the earth, you love what it creates- Juniper come from the earth, really- and now you want to go and take Mother Nature herself down and try to make her sleep once more. Percy and Annabeth can't do this alone anymore, now they need 5 others and entire armies behind them. They've already been to Tartarus, already been through so much.

The battle will be so much worse. Gaea will be so much worse.

How can you do this? You're a satyr.

You're insecure and scared and it's all starting to be too much.

But you can't say that, can't find the words to express how you feel. She knows anyway, she doesn't need to be told. You and Juniper have been together for years now, you know each other, every little detail.

And now you're leaving her.

"Grover." Juniper's voice brings you back and you look at her, knowing it could be the last time. Because this is your farewell. She can't come with you, she needs to stay with her tree and act as a final line of defense for Camp. But you can. And you will.

You're part of the Council of Cloven Elders. This is your responsibility.

"You will come back," Juniper says earnestly meeting your eyes, hands on your shoulders, no room for argument in her voice. "After all of this we'll be together. We'll do everything we've ever talked about. We'll have our family that we've always wanted."

Now you really are hurting, your heart throbs in your chest and you're breaking. You wonder if you're crying and you know if you speak it'll be nothing more than a choked, nervous bleat. In your minds eye you see a future, with you and Juni walking the beach here, spending days and nights together, having children. Little satyrs that run around and look like her and act like both of you…. a family. Something beautiful and special and something you want. Desperately.

Something precious.

It's gone in the blink of an eye but it haunts your mind.

"I love you." She says, knowing without you needing to say it. You're too emotional for this. She knows everything you'd need to say anyway, you've already told her.

Your throat has a lump that you work around to speak as you reply with the only thing that would be appropriate to show what you feel.

"I'm coming back to you."

oooOOOooo