THE NERIMA FREEDOM FORCE
A Ranma X Freedom Force fanfiction by Invader-Zam4
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Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma or Freedom Force. Please don't sue me. I have no money.
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Issue 1: Secret Origins
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The cover of this debut comic book of the NERIMA FREEDOM FORCE is the landscape of Nerima with several purple beams hitting various parts of the city. In a sunburst reads "WHAT IS THIS MYSTERIOUS ENERGY THAT SEEMS TO BE HITTING PEOPLE WITH NO REGARD FOR THEIR PERSONAL SPACE?"
Somewhere, above earth, a space ship of evil aliens looms over. They are green with oversized craniums and have red eyes. The leader of the aliens sits upon his evil throne and gazes down on the unsuspecting planet.
"Haha" he says. "This planet is the last free planet in this galaxy. Once I take over it, I will have complete domination of the galaxy!"
A soldier minion then approaches his sire.
"It will be an easy planet to conquer my lord! It's ripe for the picking! We should attack now!"
"No. I have a better idea. We will give them…ENERGY X!"
"But my lord! Give them our most powerful weapon? Why?"
"It's quite simple. I have read enough fan fiction about this series that we are currently cross overed with. And more often than not, when presented with great power, the key characters will almost always use it for EVIL! It will be no different with this one. If we simply invade, we will be met with annoying resistance. But if we give them the ENERGY X, we can just watch as they tear each other apart!"
"It is a brilliant plan my lord! Such as all your plans!"
"Yes. It is. Now its time for me to laugh maniacally and not notice any askew details in this room. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"And now its time for me to respond to your laugh, also becoming oblivious to anything suspicious! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
But unknowing to the evil alien emperor, that there is someone eavesdropping on them.
"I don't know why they can't see me. I mean, I may be hiding, but my shadow is being cast all over the place. Maybe I shouldn't have hidden near a light source. Anyway, I can't let him go through with this! I shall steal some of the ENERGY X and give it to worthy people! People of idealism and hope! People who will fight for truth and justice! People who will become shining beacons of hope, even though normally they wouldn't be but for story purposes will eventually gain this once I give the ENERGY X. They will fight against the abominations that the evil emperor is about to unleash. And why don't I just kill the emperor while he can't notice me and while I'm so near? I don't know"
And so the evil spaceship looms over Japan.
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Tatewaki Kuno sits quietly in his club's dojo in deep meditation. Cold sweat pours down his forehead. The tension of the silence is unbearable. He tries to seek the answers by looking deep into his soul. His face shows great intensity.
His eyes break open as he stands up.
"PIG TAILED GIRL! AKANE TENDO! I CAN'T CHOOSE! I MUST HAVE THEM BOTH!"
Suddenly, a purple ray of energy hits the kendo master.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Giving him supernatural powers!
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It is home economics class at a prestigious all girl's schools. The class is about to end and the girls are moaning about the dullness of the class. The slowly contemplate on how baking cookies wouldn't be boring if there were cute guys in the school to give them to. Suddenly, one student, after lovingly wrapping her cookies, stands up.
"Teacher?"
"Yes? Ms. Kuno?"
"I will be leaving early today. Goodbye!"
Kodachi Kuno suddenly rips off her school uniform, revealing her gymnastics clothes underneath. She then jumps off a window, with cookies in one hand and twirling a ribbon on the other. Her laugh echoes throughout the class as she leaves a trail of black rose petals in her path. She begins jumping on the rooftops with one goal in mind.
"RANMA DARLING! I AM COMING! OHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"
As she jumps into the air, a beam of purple energy hits her.
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH!"
Giving her supernatural powers!
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It is lunch time at the Neko restaurant. It is the busiest hour as many customers devour their noodles, appreciative of the taste. The place is packed.
"Hey manager! Another order of ramen here."
"Right away"
Cologne then hops back into the kitchen to start work on the new order, happy of her good fortune.
"Who knows? Maybe if the restaurant gets big enough, we might just be able to buy son-in-law. Oh what am I thinking? He will beg to be married to Shampoo if he wont have to suffer from an empty stomach anymore!"
Cologne chuckles to herself as she goes to the sink. She then stares out the window.
"Hmm? What is that? I am pretty sure I can avoid whatever is coming my way but I have a feeling it's a plot device so I wont."
A beam of purple energy then enters through the window, hitting Cologne.
"GGYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Giving her supernatural powers!
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Shampoo is on her way back from a delivery. It was a close delivery so she opted not to use her bike. A familiar puppy dog is trailing her.
"Shampoo! Come on! Why won't you go out on a date with me?" Mousse begs.
"Ranma already make plans to take Shampoo out on date" she says coldly.
"Aw Shampoo…"
Mousse, even though not having good eyesight, has the same sense for danger as anyone else. He immediately sense danger and rushes towards Shampoo.
"SHAMPOO! DUCK!" he says as he pushes Shampoo forward.
Mousse's valor is admirable, although a bit fool hardy. The beam would have actually missed Shampoo, but with Mousse's shove, Shampoo was sent to ground zero. And so a beam of purple energy hits Shampoo!
"AIYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
"NOOOOO! SHAMPOOOOOO!"
But not even the mysterious energy is enough to quell a woman's fury! Shampoo slowly turns to face Mousse, while being bombarded.
"MOUSSE YOU STUPID!"
She slams her delivery box to Mousse's skull. With that passage, the energy flows into Mousse as well!
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Giving them both supernatural powers!
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"EEEEEK! PERVERT!"
"What a haul! What a haul!" screams Happosai as he dashes through the rooftops.
His panty raid had been a successful one and he was relishing in his sick perversion. His ecstasy was gargantuan as he jumped from the roof of a house into high up into the air.
"WHAT A -"
Suddenly, a purple beam of energy hits him
"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLLL!"
Giving him supernatural powers!
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Mr. Panda, aka Genma Saotome, quietly sweeps the leaves off Dr. Tofu's house. Suddenly a beam of purple energy hits him. He quickly whips out a sign
WHAT THE HELL! I'M NOT EVEN DOING ANYTHING!
Giving him supernatural powers!
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And so, the evil alien's fiendish plans seems to be in motion, but unknowing to them, a group of special youngsters is about to be given the same fiendish weapon that they are using!
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Akane Tendo, martial artist and student, rushes to attain her education. She quickens her pace as she reaches the school.
"Stupid Ranma! Making me late again! Why does he have to turn everything, even breakfast into a fight with his dad!"
She slowly approaches the school yard when suddenly
ZAP
A beam of purple energy hits her.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"
And as the beam subsides and as she picks herself up, she feels a great fire inside her. A fire of truth and of great justice!
"Wha…whats happening to me? I'm glowing a red glow…"
Unfortunately, Akane Tendo has no time to contemplate this mysterious glow of destiny! As her daily exercise routine comes for her.
"AKANE! WE LOVE YOU!" screams the legions of fan boys with their own sprots stereotype who rush to embrace their martial arts goddess.
"THIS IS SO NOT THE TIME!" screams Akane. "DON'T YOU BOYS HAVE SOMETHING BETTER TO DO!"
"Of course not! We are one-dimensional bit characters with only one thought in our heads! You!" respond the rushing legion.
"ARGH! PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE!" says Akane as she flings her arm forward. Suddenly, a wave of fire flows from her hands flies into the bodies of the fan boys, scorching them with third degree burn of heightened voyeurism!
"What?" asks Akane. She flings her hand another direction and more fire come out scorching more fan boys!
"OOH! AKANE! DO ME NEXT!"
"NO ME! BURN ME!"
"NO ME!"
Suddenly, Akane's body feels light. She slowly levitates up in the air.
"I can shoot fire? And I can fly? That beam must have given me these powers. I was given these powers for a reason. TO BURN ALL THE PERVERTS!"
"Wow! That can't be Akane! She's so much cooler!"
"Yeah! She's like a superhero! Who's dressed in a school girl outfit! Oh baby marry me!"
"I'll take picture of her and photoshop them over hot naked women and post them all over the internet! Specifically 4chan and win a hundred internets!"
"Hey what's going on over there?"
"They seem to be a great mania over that flying pyro girl that looks a lot like Akane Tendo."
"So there's a pyro mania over that student?"
"I guess there is. It's time to manufacture and mass produce the merchandise then!"
Within a matter of minutes, a crowd had gathered under Akane Tendo donning upon various shirts and waving flags saluting the new pyro maniac student. They also started waving signs from "Pyromania will never die" to "Marry me Pyro student"
"Pyro Maniac who is a student?" she says quietly to herself. "YES! AKANE TENDO, SUBJECT OF MOST FAN HATRED, KANON HATRED AND FAN FICTION BASHING WILL BE NO MORE! FROM HER ASHES, I ARRIVE! TO BRING JUSTICE TO ALL PERVERTS AND TO MY CHARACTER! THAT IS THE SOLEMN VOW OF… P. M. S.!"
And that is the secret origin of PMS
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Ryoga Hibiki, a boy lost not only in his emotions but in his search for the meaning of his life, stumbles in a deep forest. What he doesn't know is that he is about to stumble to his destiny!
"WHERE AM I NOW! Maybe I should have taken a left at Albacurkie. That's the last time I take directions from a talking rabbit. Ranma! I swear once I get out of this forest I will find you AND PUT YOU IN AN EXTREME STATE OF DISCOMFORT! And possibly hurt you!"
Suddenly, a beam of a mysterious energy hits Ryoga. An energy known as X.
"AAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHBBBBBBBWWWWIIIIIIIIIIII!"
Ryoga falls into a deep sleep and awakens to find his body changed by destiny!
"What…what happened? My hands…they're bigger. My body…its hairy. My height…its longer…my head! Its…smaller? What happened?"
Seeing a nearby pond, Ryoga goes to see on what he has become. He is immediately taken back by the creature that stared back at him.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! RANMAAAAAAAAAAAA! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAUUUUUUULT!"
Months pass and Ranma is making his way to school, when suddenly…
"RANMA!"
A wall breaks down and a giant creature throws himself at Ranma who then jumps to a nearby wall. The creature rams straight through a truck, crushing the truck.
"That sounded like Ryoga" says Ranma. "Hey Ryoga! Looks like you picked up some strength! Here for another match?"
"I'm not here for a match. I'M HERE TO KILL YOU! WHEN WILL YOU STOP RUINING MY LIFE RANMA!"
"Ruining your life? When have I ever done…OH MY 70S CENSORED EXPELTIVE! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU!"
"YOU HAPPENED TO ME! EVER SINCE YOU CAME INTO MY LIFE, IT HAS BEEN NOTHING BUT ONE EMO MOMENT AFTER ANOTHER! NOW THIS HAPPENED!"
Ryoga had become a towering man boar of 7 feet. But his head was that of his pig form. A small piglet head that was speaking with Ryoga's voice.
"DIE RANMA!" screams Ryoga as he launches a punch that could devastate cities to Ranma, who avoids it easily. The punch creates a giant crater that destroys everything within a 10 meter radius.
"Hey, calm down Ryoga!"
"NO! I WILL NEVER CALM DOWN! NOT UNTIL YOU TAKE BACK THAT MYSTERIOUS PURPLE ENERGY YOU THREW AT ME AND MAKE ME NORMAL AGAIN!"
"HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT!"
"Ryoga?" says a familiar voice. "Ranma, did you say that is Ryoga?"
That voice sends chills down Ryoga's spine as he slowly turns to face his goddess. Akane Tendo is standing behind him.
"OH NO…" thinks Ryoga. "AKANE KNOWS WHO I AM! I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO GO NEAR HER EVER AGAIN!"
"Ryoga…your P-chan?" asks Akane.
"BWI…" is all that Ryoga can bear himself to say…
"Oh I get it!" says Akane. "You must have been holding P-chan when the mysterious purple energy that has been hitting everyone lately hit you! And so, the beam fused you and P-chan together right?"
Ryoga manages to nod his little piglet head.
"Oh you poor baby!" says Akane as she embraces Ryoga. "You've been through so much, with Ranma always bullying you…"
"HEY!"
"And now this!"
Ryoga is in absolute bliss. Blissful destiny! He is in a state of ecstasy that he has never experienced in his life before
"Akane…for you…I'll try to live with what I am…"
"Oh you brave little soldier!"
"Akane…" thinks Ryoga. "You could love even as I am this way. You no longer love me as a pig, but as a demi-human like thing! I shall swear to protect you and everything that you stand for until my last dying breath! This is the vow of WERECHAN!"
"Oh give me a break…"muttered Ranma
And that is the secret origin of WERECHAN
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"Ukyo. Remember, we may be pizza chefs but we were descended from gypsies. You must never forget this."
"Too late father. I already did."
"Oh my Christian God, you stupid little tart."
That was the last time Ukyo ever spoke to his father. Maybe because they got into an argument about gypsies. Or maybe because he got hit by a car later that day. In any case, Ukyo has now moved on and set up her own Okonomiyaki shop in Nermia. It is a slow day and Ukyo busies herself with cooking another love pizza for her beloved Ranma.
"Okay. Time for some soy sauce."
As Ukyo walks to her kitchen towards her spice rack, a beam of Energy X hits her.
"GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Ukyo collapses. Ukyo then dreams of the goddess of pagan religions, specifically of that of gypsies.
"Ukyo" says the goddess. "Cooking is the art of transforming ingredients into food. You will use my power to transform wrong into right."
Ukyo then wakes up and finds herself holding a statue of the pagan gypsy goddess given to her by her father.
"Wow. What a dream. And why am I holding this vile thing? I thought I had this pawned?"
Suddenly, the clock hits 12:00.
"Oh no! Lunch hour!"
A stampede of hungry business men rush to her restaurant and starts giving orders rudely, quickly becoming irritable.
"AH! HOW WILL I EVER SERVE ALL THESE PEOPLE! I NEED HELP! PLEASE!"
Suddenly, all of Ukyo's cooking tools spring to life with purple energy! They fly around, gather the ingredients and start cooking all of the Okonomiyakis themselves! The patrons, thinking this is part of a new gimmick, applaud greatly and leave big tips!
"Oh my golly!" says Ukyo. "I thought the goddess was just a load of baloney! But she helped me from a very deadly lunch hour! I shall use this new power to woo my Ranma honey and help him blindly in any battle he will undertake! So says the magical girl OKONOMAHOYAKI
And that is the secret origin of OKONOMAHOYAKI
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Ranma Saotome was walking quietly along the roof tops of Nerima, sucking on a lollipop. It is a quiet, orange, afternoon. With his acute martial arts senses, he senses danger. He quickly jumps out of the way as a beam of purple energy almost hit him.
"What the…"
He stares up in the sky and sees three stars. He immediately figures out that those aren't stars and quickly does several back flips and avoids three more beams.
"HAHA YOU MISSED!" he cried out to the sky. Suddenly, more stars appeared.
"Uh oh…"
Ranma immediately starts running as a hail of purple energy trails his wake, trying to catch up with him.
"Now this is just ridiculous!"
Try as Ranma to run, he can't escape his ultimate destiny! The beams slowly catch up with Ranma's rooftop maneuvering. Ranma jumps several stories up into the air. Suddenly, the beams stop hailing.
"Huh?"
Suddenly, one last beam fires at Ranma. Ranma ducks and the beam barely hits his head in mid-air. But the beam headed straight for a sky scraper and is reflected by the reflective, tinted glass. The beam goes straight for Ranma.
"Oh maann…"
ZAP
Giving Ranma supernatural powers!
Ranma plummets to the ground, but somehow gets enough sense into him to land on his feet. The purple glow of his body slowly disappears as he stands up.
"That's weird. I don't feel any different. Except for the inexplicable urge to self narrate myself. Oh well."
Ranma slowly walks away, unware that he is walking to his destiny!
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And so the evil aliens fiendish plans have been set into motion. What will happen to the city of Nerima now? Only time will tell. Be sure to catch the next hair-raising, thrill-seeking issue of Nerima Freedom Force: PANDAMONIUM STRIKES! NERIMA FREEDOM FORCE ACCUMULATE!