Alopecia
Disclaimer: I do not own the OC, Gilmore Girls or the song 'Let's Dance to Joy Division'.
"Hey."
"Hey."
"China's got alopecia."
"Queer."
Luke suddenly knocks Marissa down and punches her lightly in the chest for no apparent reason. Suddenly Ryan appears out of thin air and starts laughing. He punches Luke square in the face, yet somehow Ryan ends up with a black eye even though his face hasn't been touched during the entire scene and he's obviously winning the fight.
Summer appears randomly and winks at them.
Marissa says, "My father, JIMMAY!!!, is getting China treated in Chino for her alopecia."
Summer replies, "Chino, EWWWWW! Alopecia, EWWW! That's totally gnarly!!!"
Keeeeersten™ (what is she German?) and Sandy appear and suddenly go from hating to loving Volchok. They take him in and Sandy plays video games with him.
"I come from the Bronx," says Sandy from DA HOOD.
"Dude, you're not in 8 Mile," says Luke.
Seth: "I'm back in Liverpool, and everything seems the same."
"Huh?"
Seth continues his babbling, with his trademark smile™, "But I worked something out last night, that changed this little boys brain. A small piece of advice, that took twenty-two years in the make, and I will break it for you now, please learn from my mistakes."
JuJu™ appears. "You have to think about your future and stop singing this English codswallop."
Seth replies with one raised eyebrow, "Whatevs, Let's dance to Joy Division and celebrate the irony."
Ryan looks like a lost puppy with alopecia. "I come from Chino."
"CHINO?! EWWW!" Summer exclaims.
"We've been here before," replies Ryan.
"I recognise that tree," Seth says, thinking, "I love the Gilmore Girls. Let's go visit Milo Ventimiglia, Jess lives in California. Then we'll hitchhike to Connecticut with Volchok."
Everyone???.
All of a sudden, Anna turns up and Summer shrieks, "PITTSBURGH? EEWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"
Then Ryan, Luke, Seth and Volchok get adopted by Sandy and Keeeersten™.
Later, Marissa gets stoned and hits Sandy with an ENJO™ cleaning glove and Seth shouts, "Everything is going wrong, but we're so happy."
"BUT WE'RE JUST SO HAPPY! YEAH WE'RE SO HAPPY!"
Epilogue: China dies of alopecia in Chino wit JIMMAAY™. JuJu™ whispers, "It's not natural for a little girl to love a hairless pony!"
Sandy drives Ryan back to his embarrassing mother and as he looks out the window looking like a lost puppy dog with alopecia he sees Marissa give a half-hearted wave while standing randomly on the footpath and he solemnly says, "My shadow weighs a ton and we're speeding down the 101, California here we come."