Brave New World
Chapter 1
Won't Let You In
My name, its Isabella Swan. But I go by Bella. I've been told I'm not your everyday teen; I'm more of the girl who doesn't have any friends, who doesn't want any friends. I'm seventeen, and I've been living in Forks since I was 5 years old. When my mom decide she couldn't handle a little girl who didn't want to shop everyday after school, or have sleepovers every other weekend with her best friend. No I was the little girl who always wanted to be a vampire, when others wanted to be ballerinas.
I wasn't a social outcast, I through myself out. I refused to get so close to others that would just throw me away. I felt like it wasn't worth giving my heart to another who would just break it, for amusement. I never spoke to anyone, I would just get lost in my books, I loved reading, I would get lost in a world of love, and passion. With imagined characters wishing they were real, to be my friend, because reading someone on paper is a lot easier than trying to read their faces. I love the stories that you know would end up with the two main characters falling in love, but you wanted to read all the nonsense in between, just because it was that interesting. I was good at that, guessing what would happen next, some stories were so predictable, that you even knew when the "twist" would come in. By age ten I have read over millions of books, and wrote over millions of letters to the authors. I could recite a book backwards, and I was reading adult books, which I might add wasn't a good idea for my VERYimaginative mind.
I knew I was getting reality mixed up with my fiction, but I wasn't interested in getting boys, or my ears pierced. I was interested in the characters of which ever book I was reading. I was interested in what the story was trying to tell me, and most of the time it was telling me not to open up my heart to anyone. And that's what I did. I kept to myself, I still do. I would have higher expectations in guys and friends; I would have a higher expectation of myself. And I would keep trying to find that one that met my expectations, until I realized I wasn't in a fairytale, this was the big role. Me, my life.
I was very "anti social" the therapist would say. My father got really worried about me, because I wasn't being a girl, I wasn't being a kid. I was different.
I've had a lot of rumors go around, that I was possessed by aliens, and that's why I wasn't interested in being friends, to anyone. There was another that I got raped, when I was younger, and that made me anti-social. There were more, but none of them really affected the way I thought of life.
I witnessed countless times girls giving away their heart only to be given back in a million pieces. Same with boys, girls were just at fault as guys were for the killing of love. Guys had their bets that they could be my first boyfriend, but no one ever won, because I never said yes to them.
At one point I had a journal, I would write who I liked, and who was pretty. It was where I wrote things that I observed and things I wanted to remember forever, that is until someone found it, and read it out to my entire grade. That's when I stopped writing things down, I would just keep them glued in my mind.
I wasn't into T.V too much it was all over dramatic, and not real, it was based on who could get the most previews, and not enough the real deal.
I knew one day I would let someone in, and I knew it wouldn't be anytime soon. I would let someone hold me, and say they were the first one to break my heart. But not now, not so soon. I'd have to get used to the idea of breaking down all the walls I put up around my heart, and letting a stranger in.
Taking so many years, so many books to build up these strong walls just to be broken down by love. I'm not about to let someone in, and let them see me cry. I'm not breaking down not today.
A/N I hope you liked it, please R&R, I'd really appreciate it. And Btw I'm not to good at spelling, sorry. Enjoy Thanks Victoria