Screw the roses, give me the thorns.
OkiKagu or GinKagu, depends on how you look at it.
Sorry for mistakes, English is my second language. Gintama doesn't belong to me.
The box sitting on top of the coffee table, was big enough to hold a large size animal, or a very big bomb. It was wrapped in shinny silver paper with a fancy velvet black bow on top of it. Underneath the bow, was a small card with the name Kagura written very neatly in kanji. All in all, it was a shinny, very alluring, expensive looking box.
Most people would be very happy to receive something like this. Most people wouldn't think twice about opening it. If anything, that box would have been opened the moment it reached the table. But the couple standing wearily around the table, were not normal at all. Given their luck and the type of "friends" they had, this box was most likely, absolutely, positively trouble. Specially if said box was heavy, had no sender information and it was addressed to Kagura.
Besides her papi, Kagura never got mail. Simply because he was the only person that would send her anything.
-So, are you going to open it or what?- The man with the silver hair asked the recipient of the box. His face showing signs of nervousness.
-You open it- Answered said recipient.
-What? It says is for you-
-Oh, because that has stop you before.- The girl with the red hair said sarcastically.
-Ah well you see, that time was, that time was different. Why don't we just ignore the past and focus on the right now.-
-Not fair! Gin-chan just wants to change the rules to suit him better- Kagura screamed, not happy with this type of thinking.
-What? Don't be like this. Here I am, trying to teach you to be responsible and stuff. That's why you are still a brat- Gintoki told Kagura, his face back to his usual uninterested look and his pinky finger stuck deeply inside his ear.
Kagura's angry face told him that she wasn't happy with his comment. -There you go again with that brat crap- Realizing that he had once again plunge into dangerous waters, decided to bring the conversation back to safe shores.
-Then just open it, lets get this over with-
-I'm not opening it-
-Ah come on, it's for you-
-Yes but you are the responsible person remember, the grown up, the one that has to teach me right from wrong!- Damn her, now she was turning his words back at him. -Don't be so stubborn, just open the damn thing-
-No you do it!-
When Shinpachi came inside the house, he was not surprised that his "good morning' and presence were completely ignored by the fighting couple. He was used to it really. What it was annoying was the fact that they were arguing again. While not uncommon, it have been happening a lot lately. Resulting on him having to intervene if he wanted anythings to get done. And also being on the receiving end of some of Kagura's punches.
-There, there. What are you guys arguing about now- He said in his most diplomatic voice.
-Mind your own business four eyes!!- Kagura and Gintoki screamed at the same time.
-What!! Why do you have to bring that up? That has nothing to do with anything right now- Shinpachi screamed, already exasperated. -Here I am trying to help you and you bastards don't even care-
Suddenly, Kagura and Gintoki stopped their fighting and turned to look at Shinpachi. A similar look of glee in their faces. Shinpachi knew that look well. Whenever they looked at him like that, it meant trouble for him. He knew that he was going to regret whatever was going on inside their sadistic minds.
-Shinpachi, I'm so glad you are here- His employer said overly enthusiastic patting him on the back.
-You see, this arrived this morning and it says is for you. Aren't you happy?- -Yes, yes. Its definitely for you. Aren't you happy?- Said Kagura also overly enthusiastic, also patting his back encouragingly.
Shinpachi looked at the box sitting on top of the coffee table. The little card with "Kagura" written on it, sticking out like a pimple before the dance. He didn't know what was worst; the fact that the both of them would lie to him so shamelessly, or the fact that they didn't even tried to to make it look believable.
But he had a role to play. As the self-appointed Ishida of the group; he had to be the smart, straight character and of course the pointer of the obvious. It had always been his job to point out their stupidity and do something before they ran head on, into the proverbial (and sometimes very real) sword.
-You know, if you had taken off the card with Kagura's name on it, I may have been tempted to play along with your little game- He pushed his glasses up, hoping to look somewhat menacing. "But you moron's don't even try!!- He screamed.
-You idiot, you were supposed to take the thing off!-
-How was I supposed to know that?-
-Mentally, I told you mentally!-
-You are the mental one here!-
-You know, I'm right in front of you-
-Gin-chan, what are we going to do now?-
-Don't worry, we'll just make him do it- Gin-chan said while cracking his knuckles.
Shinpachi looked at the box again, not understanding what the big deal was. -If you guys are so worry about it, why is it even here? I mean its obviously just a gift, whats so horrible about that? -
-Does that mean that you are going to open it- Gintoki asked. Shinpachi gave him a dirty look.
-Where did it came from anyway?-
-The delivery man said it was for me. So I was very glad, thinking that papi had sent me something. But when I looked at the card it had no spender, and the guy had no idea either.-
-Sender, Kagura-chan. Then why did you even took it?-
-Its says is for me!- Kagura answered offended. -I'm pretty sure is from your dad, he must be trying to surprise you-
-Are you kidding me!- Gintoki screamed, a look of total disbelief in his face -Its has no sender, no note, nothing. Haven't you learned by now? Every time a box comes here, it's nothing but trouble!- And to emphasize his point, he pointed his finger at Sadaharu who just ignored him.
-And look how pretty it is, look at that bow, it's too perfect, to neat.- The red head screamed, as if the idea of neatness was an evil concept. -Yes Shinpachi, it screams 'open me', loud and clear, it's definitely a trap!- The silver hair man said.
Shinpachi sighed. Why didn't they just gave the box back? But if he didn't do something soon, this was going to become a redundant conversation. -Fine, fine, I'll open the stupid box- Shinpachi stared the box and sighed.
He took the card first, admiring the kanji and set it aside. The bow came next, it really was pretty, so he decided to keep it to use it later. He started to rip the wrapping paper slowly, so that it would not rip (because he could also use it later). Both Kagura and Gintoki were staring at the box, as if Shinpachi was about to open Pandora's box.
Shinpachi hesitated for a moment. "No,no,no. There is nothing bad, is just a gift, a gift" and continued on. Once the paper was gone, he started to work on the tape, being careful not to rip the box either. (Why? You know why). When the box was finally open and the little white packing popcorn started to spill all over the table and no loud booms or strange alien creatures came out. Kagura pushed Shinpachi roughly aside, sending him flying.
-Well, that was disappointing- Gintoki said, going back to lay down on the couch, a copy of jump in his hand. As Kagura eagerly look for what was inside, the little pieces of popcorn started to spill all over the floor. Shinpachi grabbed his glasses from the floor, cleaned his bleeding nose and went to grab the broom from the kitchen.
What Kagura pull out first were books, quite a few of them. For a moment she thought that the delivery man had made a mistake. She grabbed the card again, just to make sure that it was really her name. Then she read the piece of paper that was sticking out from one of the books. She didn't know if she should be confused, amused, angry or offended. Maybe all of them. And just to make sure that she wasn't seeing things she started to read the titles out loud.
-S&M 101: A realistic introduction, Consensual sadomasochism: How to talk about it & how to do it safely, Pain & pleasure: The toy bag guide series, Screw the roses, give me the thorns, Erotic bondage handbook, concise slave training manual, Different loving: the world of sexual dominance, submi...-
AAAHHHH!!!!!
Gintoki and Shinpachi screamed, the broom breaking and the copy of jump ripped in half. As fast as they could, they took the books away. Hoping, wishing, that Kagura was just pulling their legs. And as both men looked at the books, Kagura curiously reached inside the box again. And out came a whip, and handcuffs and a chain, and many other things that Kagura knew deserved to be covered by mosaics.
Shinpachi was stupefied, his mouth hanging open almost reaching the floor. Looking as Kagura pulled out toy after toy out of the Pandora's box. Gintoki was pissed, no infuriated. Ripping the books apart while thinking how to maim, kill, disembowel, annihilate with no specific order; a certain sadistic bastard. Oh, he knew that it was him that had sent this crap. He noticed that he have been hanging around too much lately, always 'running' into them, picking fights with Kagura and trying to get in his good graces.
-Kagura-chan give me that!- Coming back to reality, Shinpachi pushed Kagura aside, hard enough that she hit the desk head first. Both him and Gintoki grabbed the variety of sex toy's as fast as they could and shoved them back inside the box. Gintoki turned around to face Kagura, ready to rip her ass when he notice the piece of paper she was holding.
-Shinpachi, you meany! You didn't had to push me so hard- Kagura was rubbing her head with one hand, trying to hide the piece of paper with the other one. Gintoki didn't asked for it, he walked straight to Kagura and took it unceremoniously away.
-Hey! That's mine!-
-SHUT UP!!- Gintoki screamed, smacking her head for being such a moron. Shinpachi stood next to him, both reading the stupid note, that had come with the stupid box, sent by a stupid bastard.
China,
I expect you to read this soon, unless you are too much of a chicken. You 'better' be ready this Saturday by 6 pm, if you expect me to feed you before going to the movies. I'll come and get you.
Okita Sougou.
P.S.
Open this while you are alone.
10.....9.....8..7654321.
AAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
-I'm going to kill him, like seriously going to kill him!!.-
-Gin-san hold on! He is a police officer!!- Shinpachi was trying really hard to hold back the angry samurai. Knowing that if he were to let go, tomorrow they will be having a conversations trough a little phone, with a glass window between them.
-Kagura-chan! help me, we have to stop him! Kagura-ch...-
Shinpachi was surprised to see Kagura staring unblinking at the box, an unreadable look on her face.
-Gin-san stop! look at Kagura-chan, she must be traumatized- Gintoki came out of his rage to look at the girl.. "no, not girl anymore, the young woman" He thought dejectedly. He had been trying real hard not to think about it. The fact that Kagura had grown up, hit him harder than one of her and Otae's punches combined. He knew that this will be happening soon, he just didn't know how well he will take it. Apparently not very good at all.
-Kagura-chan are you okay?- Shinpachi asked, his voice low and full of concern. He walked up to her and sat on the couch next to her, giving the older man the 'come here and help me' look. But he was even more surprised to see him face down, his hair hiding most of his face. For a moment, Shinpachi had the strange feeling that the one that needed his help the most, was the man standing in the hallway.
But his main priority right now was Kagura, he will deal with the man later. -Kagura-chan, he is probably pulling a prank, you know how he is. Don't take it too personal.- Truth be told, Shinpachi wanted to pulverized the bastard as much as Gin-san. Kagura was very dear to him, he and his sister had come to see the girl as a family. But as much as it pained him, Kagura was already at that age. She was already getting appreciative looks from men.
But Okita Sougo? From the Shinsengumi? He just never saw that one coming. He was always bitching about Kagura, saying how much he hated her and always fighting and competing against her. Who would of thought that that was his way of saying I like you.
-Its ok Shinpachi, you are right, that's just the way he is. He is not very good at saying what he feels.-
-Kagura-chan, do you like him?-
The bright red blush and the small smile, was enough to answer his question. And Shinpachi could already see himself, staying up at night waiting for her to come back. Freaking out when he would caught them kissing outside the porch. Consoling her whenever they had a fight, a bucket of ice cream ready for her. In the back of his mind he couldn't help but think that it was odd (and little pathetic) that Kagura and not his sister or him, will be the first one to actually start dating.
-Kagura-chan, if you are ok with it, then I guess that's fine. I mean, this is a little too much. But if that's what you want, we will be right there for you. Right Gin-san?-
-I need a drink-
Was all the samurai said, before disappearing. Shinpachi could tell by the look on his face and the tone of his voice, that he was really going to drink and not try to take on the Shinsengumi by himself. 'It must be really hard on him to know that their little Kagura-chan was all grown up, Gin-san is also very bad at saying what he feels'. Shinpachi thought as the samurai left. Kagura just watch him sadly.
In the other side of the town, Okita Sougo wondered if maybe sending the toys was a bit unnecessary. After all, he had meant it as an innocent joke. The last thing he wanted right now was to scare her. Especially, after all the indignities he had to suffer for her to finally agree to go out on a date. Besides, it's not like his preferences were much of a secret. That cat had been out and about for years now. He just hoped that china didn't mind playing with it sometimes.
What he was actually dreading the most, was 'the talk' that he was sure to received from Kondo-san. He could already imagined his speech on responsibility and the importance of safe sex and condoms. He wondered if Kondo-san even remembered how old he was, but he would make damn sure that Hijikata was present to share in his pain. And what was he supposed to do or say to the boss? Hopefully Kondo-san had better advise on that subject.
In a dingy bar in Kabukicho, a man with silver hair was trying to out drink his drinking partners. For such an idiotic pair, Zura and Sakamoto were very good drinkers. He had been very surprised to find them drinking together in such a place. But today he didn't mind, he really needed the company. The drunken, off key singing voices of Zura and Sakamoto, and the feeling of the warm sake as it traveled down his throat. Were not enough to dull his mind. Memories from yesterday refusing to give up to the oblivion that he was hoping alcohol could provide him.
'Do you like him?'
The blush on her face and the small smile on her lips, was enough for him. His greater fear had come true, Kagura wasn't his Kagura anymore. The Kagura that had promise to be with him forever, will soon be making promises to somebody else. The Kagura that would look at him with admiration in her eyes, will be looking at another man with a different type of admiration. It didn't sit well with him at all. Actually, it really pissed him off.
-I knew that stupid box was nothing but trouble.-
Some of the tittles are from real books. It was kind of weird looking for S&M references.