Summary:
When an accident on a hunt leaves Dean injured and dying, a desperate Castiel makes a deal with Naomi to save him. In return, for Dean's life, Castiel has to do anything Naomi tells him to do, no questions asked. Sam and Dean are less than thrilled the their friend has gone back to the one person they fought so hard to save him from.
Set after 8x14, AU in which Dean and Sam have already tried to free Cas from Naomi once.
Notes:
This is a dream I had last night. I thought I would share it.
When the one you love is in danger, you'll do anything to save them. Even, if it means hurting them in the process.
"Dean," Cas begged, "Dean, can you hear me?"
"Cas, how is he?" Sam asked from the front seat as he drove them to the hospital.
"He's..." Cas stuttered, "He's losing blood. I can't heal him, Sam. I've tried, but I-"
"Hey!" Sam shouted. "I need you to keep it together, Cas! Dean needs you to keep it together."
Cas swallowed. "I'm aware." He pressed down harder on the wound decorating Dean's torso in blood. Castiel was crouched over Dean, as he lay bleeding in the back seat of the Impala. Blood stained the seats, and Castiel dimly registered that Dean would be upset at him for staining the seats with blood. The hunter was unconscious, and turning extremely pale.
It had all gone so wrong, so fast.
"What's happening?" Castiel shouted to Sam, trying to see the younger Winchester through the haze.
"The building is going up!" Sam coughed from the smoke, as the building caught fire. "Where is Dean?"
"He's in the room still!" Castiel told Sam.
Sam looked around at the flames surrounding them. "We've got to get out of here now. Dean! We've got to leave!"
"I've almost got it!" Dean shouted. "I need a few more seconds."
"We don't have a few more seconds!" Sam bellowed. "Get out of there!"
Dean appeared in the doorway of the room with a smile on his face. "See I told you I could get it."
That's when the doorway collapsed on top of Dean.
"I you brought coffee." Castiel said, as he entered Dean's hospital room.
Sam rubbed his eyes from sleep, and yawned a thank you.
"Has there been any change?" Cas asked, looking helplessly at Dean's prone form lying in the bed.
"Not really? The doctor came by once or twice. He said his vitals had improved some, but..."
"He still thinks there is not a good chance for him to survive." Castiel finished softly.
"He's lived through worse, Cas. A lot worse. This won't be the thing that finishes him." Sam spoke confidently, though Castiel could see the pain behind the man's words. He didn't think his brother would survive this, and it was very likely a possibility. Castiel couldn't heal him, even though he'd tried desperately to do so. He'd gone to another room in the ICU and had healed a man with a broken neck he sustained from a car accident, but he couldn't heal Dean.
And that was killing him.
"Did you have any luck with your healing powers?" Sam asked, hopeful.
Castiel bit his bottom lip and shook his head. "I am able to heal other it would seem, but not Dean."
"Great." Sam cursed. "That's awesome."
Castiel knew that Sam blamed him for his powers failing at the most crucial time, after all, the only reason Dean was in the hospital is because he had brought them this case. He was the one that put Dean on his deathbed, and now he couldn't fix it.
"Sam, I'm-"
"Don't," Sam snapped, "say you're sorry. I've had enough fucking apologies to last me a lifetime." He growled.
"It's my fault he's here." Castiel said, sadly.
Sam rubbed his hand through his hair. "No it's not. Dean's been reckless as of late. He's given up his sense of self-preservation. If it hadn't been on this case, then it would have been on another one. Don't blame yourself for this."
"The blame lies with me, Sam. You can't change that."
"Fine." Sam snarled. "Maybe it does, but stop hanging around here feeling sorry for yourself. There is nothing either of us can do about it, and there is nothing either one of us are going to do about it, Cas."
"You are referring to making a deal to save, Dean."
"Damn right I am." Sam turned to face Cas. "It's our downfall. Mine. His. Yours. This time we are going to leave it alone."
"You are willing to do that?" Castiel asked Sam.
"I have to." Sam whispered. "We promised each other there would be no more deals."
"You've never kept each other's promises." Castiel argued.
Sam's body shook. "I have to this time, Cas. We have to. If Dean wants to survive, he'll survive."
"And if he doesn't" Castiel questioned.
Sam took of his jacket and laid it on the hospital chair. "Look, stay here with him until I get back. I'm going to go to the bathroom and try to clean up a little."
Sam might have made a promise to Dean about no more deals, but Castiel had not. He knew what he was thinking of doing would be dangerous to a countless number of people, but he had no other choice. Dean had left him no other choice. He was not going to let Dean die, while he was alive to stop it. Sam...and Dean would be angry if they found out about it. Especially, considering how hard they worked to keep him away from her, but she was the only one that could help. Castiel was willing to pay the price to save his charge. Even if it meant betraying the Winchesters once again, it meant Dean Winchester lived to see another day.
Castiel slipped his angel sword from his jacket. He unbuttoned his shirt to reveal the sigil that had been tattooed on his skin to prevent Naomi from contacting him any longer. Taking a deep breath, he raised the sword to his chest and sliced through the sigil. It burned terribly, but it allowed him an open connection to Heaven. A way for him to contact Naomi.
"Naomi, I need your help."
He appeared in the white room immediately after calling for help.
"You need my help?" Naomi paced around the chair he was sitting in.
"Heal Dean Winchester." He told her.
She leaned down over him and snarled. "What makes you think we are even going to let you go after the stunt you pulled?"
"I'm offering my services to you. There will be no resistance or hesitation in the orders you ask me to carry out. The Winchesters will know nothing of this." Castiel offered. "In exchange, you will heal Dean. You will keep them safe."
Naomi pursed her lips for a moment, considering the offer.
"I'll accept the offer, Castiel, but I'm afraid we'll have to keep a tighter leash on you."
He knew exactly what that meant they were going to do. They were going to access his control center deep inside him once again. Except this time he expected them to fix their earlier mistakes.
"I would expect no less."
"The doctor says you are healing nicely." Castiel told Dean as the elder Winchester flipped through the channels on the tv.
"I'd believe it more if I still didn't feel like crap." Dean groaned. "And what's up with you not being able to heal me anyway? Something going on with your mojo?"
"I was only unable to heal you, Dean. My powers were not limited by anything else." Castiel told him.
"And that doesn't strike you as odd?" Dean questioned.
"Of course it does, but the major priority now is for you to heal."
"Well I'm working on that." Dean grumbled.
"I can't believed we lucked out on this one." Sam said. "No one made any deals, no one died. We let nature take its course and nothing bad came out of it."
Dean clapped Sam on the shoulder. "I gotta say man, I wasn't expecting you to keep the promise. I'm proud."
Castiel watched the interaction between the two, and let some happiness overtake the dread that filled the pit of his stomach. Naomi would call on him soon, and he had to be ready for whatever she gave him. It worried him, but seeing Dean alive re-enforced that it was worth it.
She called on him not a day later. Dean was required to stay in the hospital a few more days as his body healed. His hospital room was where he found himself when Naomi gave him his first assignment. He'd been watching Die Hard with Dean when he'd gotten a sudden pain in his head. He'd tried to keep himself from flinching as best as he could, and excused himself, saying he needed to get some fresh air, and promised to sneak Dean a bacon cheese burger when he returned.
Naomi dragged him to her as soon as he felt the hospital. She told him to eliminate several demons that posed a threat to Vatican city. He'd been accompanied by a garrison of angels, and they had taken care of the problem in less than a day. He reported back to Naomi, and stopped by a restaurant and purchased a bacon cheese burger before flying back to Dean. He, Dean, and Sam had all watched a game show on the Tv, and Dean had fallen asleep.
That was day one of Naomi's Deal.
It got worse as time went along.
Dean returned to the "Bat cave" as he so fondly called it. Sam went out on small hunts, and often asked Castiel to accompany him. Castiel would stay with the Winchesters some until Naomi would call him. He told Sam and Dean that he was going on hunts. It was a percentage of the truth, but still a lie nonetheless.
Naomi was now focused on hunting down fallen angels that posed a threat to the host. Each time he was given a name, and Castiel and "his garrison" would track down the fallen and eliminate them. It was fairly easy work to do, and Castiel had no qualms with doing it.
At least until humans came into the mix.
This time Naomi gave him a different job. He was to keep a group of hunters off the trail of an a demon working for Crowley.
"Why would we want to keep them from killing a demon?" Castiel asked her.
"I want to, Castiel. For reasons you don't have to know." Naomi told him. "Do as you're told and throw the hunters off the trail by yourself, or I'll send another angel to kill them."
She didn't have to tell him anything she didn't want to. Castiel found that out quickly. She sent him on job after job. He never knew more that he absolutely needed to know, and he had to finish the work quickly. He felt like a soldier again. In some ways, he was one again. It felt familiar, and he found himself able to do it without asking questions that he thought he would want to ask.
He felt the best he had in a long time. He never saw much of Heaven. He mostly stayed on Earth, or in Naomi's office. He only associated with the angels in the garrison he was sent on missions with.
And he was able to keep it all from Sam and Dean.
Castiel landed in the Bat cave with a six pack of beer and some groceries Dean had requested. Dean was throwing a celebration for the first successful hunt he'd had since the accident.
"Hey Cas." Dean clapped him on the shoulder and smiled. "Glad you could make it. I just put some steaks on the grill Sam bought the other day. We actually have a grill!" Dean exclaimed.
"I am happy you and Sam are happy with this place." Castiel told Dean as he set the groceries on the kitchen counter.
"Yeah I am too, man. It's the first time we've actually had a place that feels like home." Dean started chopping up onions. "So how have you been, Cas?"
"I am fine."
"So no more freaky angel visits, right?"
"I have had none since the sigil." Castiel lied to Dean. The hunter smirked. "Finally, things seem to be going right for once. Kevin thinks he's getting a break on the second trial. Let me tell you, the sooner we can close the gates of Hell the better. No more people getting possessed, no more ugly sons of bitches trying to make a demon army, and no more Crowley."
Castiel felt a familiar pull in his mind. He brushed Naomi off for the moment, not wanting to alert Dean that anything was going on. Naomi only pulled stronger, causing Castiel's head to pulse in agony. He gritted his teeth and held a hand to his head. Unfortunately, Dean saw the action.
"Hey, you okay?" Dean asked him, dropping the knife he was cutting with.
"Yes, I aplogize Dean, but I am being called."
"Called by who?" Dean demanded.
"A friend of mine." Castiel lied. Naomi had left him no other way out of the situation. "I will return momentarily."
"He noticed." Castiel told Naomi.
"You'll find a way to play it off." It was an order.
"Find out what progress the prophet has made with the trials." Naomi told him. "I want to know immediately."
"I won't be able to do that without them knowing something is off." Castiel argued with her. She clenched her fist, and Castiel hit the floor. Blood poured from his nose and mouth as she dug into him.
"Do what I say, Castiel." She growled.
He appeared back at Sam and Dean's. He landed on the floor with blood still falling from his face.
"Cas!" Sam exclaimed and helped him stand up. "Dean, come in here!"
Dean came running into the library to see his brother supporting Cas. He watched as the blood fell from Cas's face and onto the wooden floor. "What the hell happened?" Dean asked.
"My friend...ugh wasn't in a good mood, as you can tell." Castiel pushed away from Sam and held a hand to his face.
"He hit you in the face?" Dean came over to him with a napkin, and led him to a chair to sit down.
"He was unhappy with the lack of information I was able to give him about the trials." Castiel winced as Dean pinched his nose with the napkin and tilted his head back.
"You've been talking to other people about the trials?" Sam asked.
"A fellow being that wishes for the gates to be closed as much as we do." Castiel assured them.
"Why did he punch you in the face?" Dean asked.
"I believe he was having a bad day."
Dean shook his head. "I'm not sure I like this guy knowing about the trials, Cas."
"I trust him." Cas told Dean firmly. "He is an asset to me, and can be to us as well."
"We trust your judgement, Cas." Sam told him.
"Dean, I hate to interrupt your cooking, but he wishes to know the progress Kevin has made."
Sam and Dean told him the words that Kevin had been able to pull from the tablet. It wasn't much, but it would be enough to please Naomi. The angel was more violent than she usually was, and that didn't pose well for him.
"I'm sorry, but I've got to go." Castiel told the brothers.
"What? Come on man, you just got here. You can't wait till after the steaks are done, and we've had a couple of beers?" Dean asked him.
Castiel smiled at him. "I will return as soon as possible, Dean. Thank you for inviting me."
As soon as he could, Castiel returned to Naomi and relayed the information about the trials to her.
She wasn't happy.
"He won't be able to decipher much of the tablet, when he only has half of it. Castiel, you'll lead a charge against Crowley to recover the other half of the tablet, tonight." Naomi paced back and forth in front of her desk.
"Is that a wise plan, we know Crowley has ways of stopping us." Castiel warned her.
She slammed her hands down on the desk. "Then we'll risk it. Take the garrison, and don't return until you have the other half of the tablet."
And so the garrison led an attack against Crowley.
Castiel woke up in a white room. Light drifted through curtains hanging over a window, and lights shined down on him from the ceiling.
"Castiel." Someone called him. He tried to sit up, but was hit with pain in his stomach.
"You'll need to stay down Castiel." Naomi's face appeared in his vision above him.
"W..What?" He tried to ask her what had happened.
"You were ambushed by Leviathan."
"But we went after Crowley?! Castiel exclaimed.
"He'd been informed of the attack beforehand, he was prepared. The leviathan attacked the garrison. Six are dead. Eight, including you, were severely injured during the attack. We weren't sure you were going to make it."
"How long?" Castiel asked her.
"It's been two weeks since the attack."
He'd promised Sam and Dean he'd return as soon as possible.
"The Winchesters?" He asked her.
"They've been calling for you, but they are fine."
Castiel sighed in relief. He glanced down at his torso and saw it wrapped in thick, white bandages. "What happened to me?"
"A leviathan tore out most of your vessel's intestines and ripped out a portion of your grace. It was unsure whether or not you would live." Naomi told him. "You are to spend the rest of your time recovering with the Winchesters and learn whatever you can about the tablet."
"You are ordering me to stay with them?" Castiel asked, surprised.
"You are not well enough to carry out orders. Your duties will return as soon as you are able, however."
He arrived outside the bat cave and found himself having to knock on the door to be let in. It was several minutes before the door opened. He figured Sam and Dean were debating on whether or not to open the door. Dean opened the door with a gun in his hands, which he soon dropped when he saw Cas.
"Cas!" Dean exclaimed. "Where the hell have you been? And why did you knock?"
"Hello Dean." Castiel took a step forward and collapsed on the ground, holding his middle. He was able to make out Dean and Sam's voices. Sam lifted him up and carried him inside, laying him down on the couch.
"Cas, what's wrong?" Dean demanded, hands moving over him, but not sure where to put them.
"There is no need to worry, Dean."
"Oh yeah, then tell me what the hell is wrong with you."
"I was injured by a Leviathan."
"Shit." Dean blanched. "Sam, go get the med kit!"
"Dean, that is unnecessary. My wound has been treated." Castiel opened his shirt to show Dean the bandages wrapped around his middle.
"Jesus, the fucker must have got you good." Dean commented.
"When did this happen, Cas?" Sam asked.
"I was told it has been two weeks."
"Told? Meaning you've been out for two weeks?" Dean asked.
"I've been in a hospital." Castiel lied.
"Why didn't you call us to come get you, instead of flying all the way out here, man. You look like shit."
"I wanted to leave."
Dean rubbed a hand over his face and sighed. He placed the back of his hand on Castiel's forehead. "You're running a little hot. Sam, get the thermometer and some more bandages. I want to check the stitch job these guys did."
"Dean, that is-"
"It's not unnecessary, dumbass. Leviathan can kill you, I want to make sure you're not about to keel over." Dean fussed at him.
"You are worrying." Castiel told him.
"Stay still, and keep quiet." Sam returned the thermometer, and Dean shoved it into his mouth less than gracefully.
Dean removed his layers of shirts, and started unraveling the bandages. "Jesus Christ." Dean cursed when he saw the extent of the damage to his friend's body. Castiel looked down and swallowed at the sight of his own torso. One side seemed to be caved in. There were endless lines of stitches, and his skin was a dark purple color.
"How are you even alive, Cas?" Dean asked softly.
'I don't know.' Castiel thought.
Dean removed the thermometer from his lips and frowned. "He's got a fever. We should try and give him some Tylenol to bring it down."
"Dean." Sam said in a strained voice. He pointed to the upper part of Castiel's chest. Cas followed their sight to his tattoo, his tattoo that he had carved through months ago.
"Son of a bitch!" Dean cursed. "What happened to the sigil?"
"The Leviathan must have-" Castiel tried to explain.
"Those scars are months old, Cas. You've been without the sigil for months." Sam told him.
"Does she have control over you again?" Dean demanded. "Does she know were we are?" Dean and Sam started walking back away from him.
"Stop!" He cried out. Naomi couldn't hear them, or she would call him back. There deal would be off.
"You're compromised, Cas!" Dean shouted.
"Dean, if you don't shut up you'll get me killed!" Castiel shouted at them.
Dean fell silent at that. Castiel grabbed his sword from the table and threw it at Sam. "Carve it." He told him. Sam nodded, and walked back over to Cas. He placed the tip of the sword at Cas's chest and started carving the sigil. It was a risky move. Naomi could find out what was taking place at any second. "Faster." He told Sam.
His body burned from the pain of the angel sword. He tried to keep himself from crying out as Sam worked, but failed. Sam finished the sigil, and threw the sword on the table. "Explain."
Castiel worked to get his breathing under control as his grace leaked from the wound. "I...I'm sorry."
"Why, are you sorry?" Dean asked.
"I broke the sigil."
"You WHAT?"
"I've...I've been lying to you."
"What the hell? You get some kind of form of Stockholm syndrome?" Dean asked.
"It started with the accident." Castiel said.
"Dean's accident?" Sam asked. "Cas, what did you do."
"Made a deal."
"Son of a bitch. Son of a bitch! Cas, what did you agree to?" Dean demanded.
"It was my fault that you were injured, Dean. I couldn't heal you, and I couldn't let you die. I destroyed the sigil. I went to Naomi and told her to heal you, in exchange...I would do whatever she asked of me."
"Cas, goddamit! I told you about making deals!" Sam shouted. "You went behind our backs and lied to us again."
"I know." Castiel lowered his head in shame.
"The Leviathan?" Dean asked.
"Naomi ordered an assault to retrieve the other half of the tablet. Crowley knew beforehand and gathered a group of Leviathan." He explained. "I woke up in Heaven with Naomi. She told me to go to you."
"What information have you been feeding her about us, Cas?" Sam asked, burning with anger.
"Whatever you've discovered about the trials. Sam I'm sorry."
"Sorry isn't going to fix this, Cas."
Cas swallowed. "I'm aware." He turned to Dean. "Dean..."
"How could you, go back to her of your own free will? I just...I can't even look at you." Dean walked away.
Cas's heart broke with him.
Dean hadn't come around the rest of that night. Sam had re bandaged his wounds, and said goodnight.
Castiel was done. He had ruined his chances for penance. He'd lied to Sam and Dean again. He'd almost gotten Dean killed. He was worthless, hapless, and hopeless. All he could feel was the guilt eating him up inside. When Naomi found out about the new sigil, she would come after him with the full force of Heaven. Sam, Dean, and Kevin were in danger because of him. He'd done so much wrong he couldn't possibly make up for it.
Dean and Sam hated him now.
There was only one way to protect them.
He ripped the bandages off, and stumbled to the kitchen. He grabbed the nearest knife and raised it to his wounds. He tore through the infected flesh with the knife. Opening the skin and reintroducing the Leviathan's poison into his body. He collapsed on the floor, and watched as the black blood pooled on the floor. He coughed the liquid the filled his lungs onto the floor, and watched as it seeped into the wood.
He sunk into the darkness with the thought of Dean and Sam finally being safe from him.
The sun peeking through the curtains awoke Dean. He stretched his aching muscles. He wanted to lay back down and get some more sleep, but he needed to check on Cas to make sure the birdbrain was okay. He got up out of his bed and walked into the living room. He turned the corner and expected to find Cas on the couch, but no one was there.
"Cas?" Dean called. He hoped the the stupid idiot hadn't run off. He'd been in too bad of shape to go anywhere.
Dean could only hope that Naomi didn't take him.
He called for Cas again and checked the library for him, before walking into the kitchen...where he saw him.
The angel laid on the floor. Black blood surrounded him in a pool, in covered him, covered a knife that laid beside him...and oh Jesus no.
"CAS!" Dean screamed and ran to his friend. He landed on his knees next to the angel, and checked for a pulse...
that he didn't find.
"Sam!" Dean screamed. He frantically checked Cas for any signs of life. "SAM!"
"Don't you dare!" Dean growled, and grabbed Cas's shoulders, pulling him up against him. "Castiel! I know you can hear me! Wake the fuck up, Cas!"
Sam can running towards his brother's calls. He stopped when he saw Dean holding Cas. His brother turned to him with a watery gaze. "He won't answer me."
Sam started forward slowly his heart beating a samba in his chest. "The dumb son of a bitch didn't. He's messing around again, he's screwing with us." Dean blurted out.
"Dean..." Sam tried.
"No. Please, I can't!" Dean started to shake. "Cas!" He screamed, holding onto his friend's body tightly. "No no no no no..."
Sam got on his knees beside Dean. "Castiel you bastard. How could you..." The tears started falling down Sam's face.
"He's not dead!" Dean yelled. "He's fucking not!"
"Dean he..."
"He didn't commit suicide!" Dean shouted.
Sam grabbed his brother and held him tightly as he started to sob. Dean broke his brother's hold and started doing CPR on Cas.
"Dean stop!" Sam tried to grab his brother.
"Come on, you son of a bitch, breathe!"
He could hear voices shouting. He was so deep in the poison, he wasn't sure if he had the strength to swim to the top. Someone was holding him, squeezing him tight with desperation. Someone pounded on his chest, willing his lungs to work. Lips smashed against his and breathed life into his body. Someone wanted him to live.
That someone was Dean.
Castiel took in one breath and started coughing up black blood. Dean turned him and let him vomit on the floor as he pressed a gentle hand at his back.
"Cas..." He whispered.
"H...ello D'n."
Sam grabbed a dish towel and threw it at Dean as he ran to get the car keys.
Dean pressed the towel against the mess of his torso, hard. "Hang on man, we'll get you to the hospital."
"No." Cas whined. "No hospital. St..stay here. Safer."
Dean picked Cas up and carried him. Sam came running at him with the keys. "Let's go!" Sam shouted.
"No."
"Cas?" Sam asked.
"Not safe. Here is safe."
"He wants to stay here." Dean told Sam. "He says it's safer."
"Dean, he just attempted suicide, I don't think he's in his right mind." Sam argued.
"I hear you." Cas opened his eyes and looked at them. "Safe from Naomi."
"Let's stop arguing. Get the medkit and see if we can fix this."
Five hours later, two bottles of Borax, and two hundred stitches later Castiel finally seemed like he wasn't going to die. Sam was asleep at the table, his hands were stained with blood. Dean just sat and watched Cas. He watched the rise and fall of his chest. The way his eyelashes fluttered. He watched everything.
Castiel opened his eyes and was surprised to have Dean staring at him. "Dean?"
"Cas."
"I'm alive."
"Barely."
"Dean..."
"What the fuck where you thinking?! Why did you try to kill yourself? I know that I seemed like I was mad at you, but man... you can't even imagine how much it hurt to find you dead on the floor, Cas. How were you expecting to solve anything?"
"I was trying to keep you safe from me."
"You don't get to make that call!" Dean growled. "You're not aloud to freaking die, Cas. Especially by your own hand."
"Dean, I-"
Dean grabbed Cas and pulled him into a kiss. Their lips smashed against each others. Dean curled a hand around Cas' head and held him close. They broke the kiss to breathe, and Cas looked at Dean in shock.
"I love you, Cas, and you're not allowed to die on my watch. We'll figure out how to stop Naomi, we'll close the gates to hell, but you'll be with me."
"Dean, I'm so sorry. I never thought that you felt this way towards me." Dean braced himself for rejection.
"I love you, Dean Winchester, and you're right. We'll do this together.