In the year of 2019, Harry Potter receives an ordinary letter from his oldest son. As usual, it starts off with an excited tone. Harry observes that the letter was very messily written, perhaps even more so than usual. Harry concludes that James must have been very enthusiastic as he wrote it, and felt empathy for his son's current teachers.

The letter starts off as follows:

Dad! DAD! I'm in the paper — I'm in the Daily Prophet! Isn't that so cool? Read the article, I have it in here somewhere. I reckon you didn't even notice me when you read the Prophet today. Shame on you, Dad. You need to have a keener perspective. How in Merlin did you become an auror that way? Not even recognizing your favorite son's great achievement? What would Aunty Hermione say? Forget that, I'M IN THE PAPER! Oh, and how is it back home? Say hi to Teddy for me!

—James

P.S. My friend Brian just got expelled.

P.P.S I had nothing to do with it, I (solemnly) swear!

P.P.P.S. Thanks for the map, Dad. Next time, you could just give it to me as a Christmas present — sneaking something off of your desk is harder than it looks.

Cheers, James.

At the mentions of an expelled friend, his son in the Prophet, and James having the map, Harry chortles with laughter. Shaking his head affectionately, Harry pulls out another scrap of parchment from inside the envelope. This time, instead of a letter written in his son's wild scrawl, he finds a ragged article from the morning's paper. To the end, the name James Potter written over and underlined in ink, catches his eye. Harry rolls his eyes and starts to read.

BRIAN AWESOMELY KILLS GIANT SQUID

by Andy Smudgely

Former Hogwarts student Brian Chibosky claims the fame this week as being the first student to question the existence of the infamous Giant Squid, ex-resident of the Black Lake.

The Giant Squid has always been a constant presence at our most beloved school. Many rumors, scandals and myths surrounded its presence. Indeed, in the hectic school year of 1977, many students were convinced that the Giant Squid was a former mate of one of the four founders of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry — Godric Gryffindor, whose animagus form was rumored to have been a giant squid.

We all say farewell to our aquatic companion. Headmistress Minerva McGonagall was heard saying the following, "It was with great regret that I dismissed Mr. Chibosky from the rest of his magical education at Hogwarts. However, if all we taught him was how to execute a squid, perhaps it wasn't such a great loss for either party."

Professor Rubeus Hagrid, the Care of Magical Creatures teacher, tells us that the squid will be replaced within a fortnight. This announcement was met with a loud chorus of approval. When questioned, James Potter, a fifth year Gryffindor student replied, "Hogwarts wouldn't be Hogwarts without a Giant Squid."