This fic was half inspired half creative genius at its finest -shot- I love my Riku and you better love this, I wrote it for you c: Anyway, this is a semi-short one-shot about Sora figuring things out and building up the courage to confess to Riku. I'll leave it at that.
Disclaimer: I don't own KH or its characters, or the song What's Left Of Me.
Sora: hey
Sora: hellloooo?
Sora: Riku, where'd you go?
Sora: ….
Sora: you didn't die did you?
Sora: you left me online with Kairi!
Sora: that's a federal crime where we live...
Sora: i'm all alone
Sora: there's no one here besiiiiide me
Sora: -sigh-
Sora: fine, see you tomorrow
Sora has gone offline.
Sora leaned back in his soft leather computer chair and ran a hand through his thick, brown hair. The chair was leaning precariously but his sense of impending danger was numbed by his overwhelming sense of loneliness. The chair creaked with every inch he coaxed it backwards.
The teen sighed. "That's the third time today that he just left."
Did I do something to make him feel awkward about us now? I was just... I don't even know what I was doing...
Sora's thoughts were interrupted when the room flipped upside down, that is, he fell with the chair when it finally couldn't hold his weight at that angle anymore, and he landed on his back, flipping over the back of the thin chair and landed, quite painfully, on his neck.
"Nnngh...worst day ever..." he groaned as he untangled his legs from underneath him and rubbed the back of his sore neck.
"Sora?" A concerned voice rang out from the downstairs, audible through Sora's cracked open bedroom door.
"Every thing's fine Leon," Sora's mumbled cry caught in his throat as despair took center stage as the emotion fueling his mind. He swiped at the frustrated tears he felt welling in the corners of his eyes and stood up, roughly hauling the chair back into it's normal position and slammed his laptop closed, the offending person whose name Sora didn't want to think about still smiling beautifully in his subconscious. His attention was directed towards the black leather-bound sketchbook lazily thrown on his bed.
He sat on the pillows taking up half of the bed and picked the book up, flipping through the smudged and worn pages.
They were his sketches that were done mostly in-class, those being his core classes at school, the ones he was supposed to be paying attention in, the ones that would prepare his future and create opportunities. Those classes.
He stopped at his particularly favorite sketch, it was Riku, the one time Sora had managed to convince him to let him draw him in person. Sora marveled at the potential Riku had at modeling, but Riku would never agree to something so shallow. At least, that was his excuse whenever Sora brought it up.
The sketch was about two months old, Sora had made a huge fuss about setting up the right scene. He'd dragged Riku to the island that shared the small little cluster of islets that made up where Sora lived. What they liked to call 'their' island was the smalled islet, occupied only by a few shacks, a confusing ensemble of tree houses only Riku and Sora knew how to navigate, and a forest of palm trees, perfect for a secret getaway.
Sora had dressed Riku up in a scarf, his favorite accessory to draw, and a red coat, black long pants, and thin earmuffs. The only reason in hell Riku had agreed to Sora's clothing demands was because it had been pretty cold that day, winter firmly established in the area. Sora had come in nothing except a t-shirt and jeans, feeling his artistic peak when he could feel the fresh air all around him.
The sketch had only taken Sora about an hour to finish, a good thing because any longer and he really would've gotten sick. He'd been sick with a cold afterwards for a couple days, which Riku hadn't failed to point out for a full week. He couldn't help his eccentricities, art was his passion, and so was Riku.
Sora put the book down and rubbed his face, trying to sort out his thoughts.
It was certain and firmly established that Sora liked Riku. His feelings had grown stronger since the day he realized his best friend was someone he could never live without. That feeling of possessiveness led him to develop feelings, taboo feelings that he would never admit to, for Riku. It was probably against the law to date your best friend, or something like that.
"Sora, come eat!" Cloud's melodic and cheerful voice brought Sora back to the surface and out of his distraught thoughts. Cloud had just recently moved in with him and Leon, and Sora already thought of him like a brother.
"I'm coming!" Sora called back, putting the sketchbook in his 'secret' place. The one thing he hated the most was when people took his sketchbook and looked through it, they were his emotions personified, not just pictures in a book. He was so self-conscious about them, that he never left the book alone in his room, even though he knew Leon would never go through his personal things.
Sora ambled downstairs, his spirits lifting at the smell of homemade pizza and smiled at the couple sitting in the living room beside the kitchen, both of them arguing over what to watch. Leon and Cloud had been dating for six months, their relationship flawless and enviable in every way.
The brunette sighed as his thoughts drifted back to Riku for the millionth time that day. He grabbed a piece of pizza, thick with mozzarella cheese and vegetables and plopped into a chair at the table. He watched the cheese form into strings and waited for gravity to take over and create little stalactites of cheese.
The loud cinematic music of the opening credits from some movie interrupted his stupor and he sighed again. "Do you really need the surround sound on tonight? You both aren't deaf."
Cloud and Leon turned around and gave Sora matching inquiring looks.
"Something bothering you Sor?" Leon asked, causing Sora to wince inwardly, 'Sor' was Riku's favorite nickname for his best friend.
Sora stood up and cleaned the mess of cheese off of the table. "S'nothing. Gonna go do homework upstairs. Thanks for the food guys."
The couple watched from the couch as Sora walked like a man who'd lost everything. Leon's slender eyebrows furrowed as he turned to face the TV again. "I wonder what's wrong..."
Cloud chuckled, slipping his hand that wasn't holding pizza into Leon's. "You know exactly what's wrong muffin. He's in love."
Leon's eyes widened. "You mean..."
Cloud bit into his cheesy, what he liked to call gourmet, pizza and chewed thoughtfully. "I'm pretty sure...he's got all the signs. The sighs, the countless hours in his room, the art..."
Leon took his own bite of pizza. "You're right...I can't believe I didn't catch it."
"Well you're dense like that," Cloud poked lovingly.
Leon threw a pillow at him, narrowly missing the pizza and grazing the top of Cloud's spiky blonde hair.
Cloud shot a hurt look to his left, pouting his lower lip just slightly, pulling one of his trademark 'faces'.
Leon smirked. "Not gonna work tonight love."
Cloud shrugged. "That's what you think."
Back upstairs, Sora lay in bed, chewing thoughtfully on the last bits of the crust from his pizza.
Riku's been acting pretty distant lately. The only thing I can do is leave him alone and hope he changes back to normal...
He clenched the comforter in a tight fist.
But I can't just forget these feelings. They're tearing me up. I need to tell him the truth, and just accept his answer. Anything is better than this, I'm tired of waiting.
He sat up and grabbed a clean pair of boxers, heading for a nice relaxing – hopefully - shower.
That morning brought a depressing fall rain and a dark sky, with no hope of a clear, cool autumn day in sight. Sora rolled out of bed, feeling the effect of the rain, it always made him feel so... lethargic, and stretched his back, feeling the slight pull in his neck where'd he landed on it last night.
The red digital numbers on his clock read 10:23 am. The sharp raps of the rain against his window were so lulling he almost flopped back into bed but the wonderful smell of pancakes coming from the downstairs was too irresistible and he threw on a shirt and a pair of black gym shorts.
His soft steps down the stairs were heard by Cloud and he loudly greeted Sora.
"Morning sunshine!" He handed the disheveled brunette a plate piled high with pancakes, warm melted butter, dripping with syrup, and topped off with some powdered sugar. "Got any plans today?"
Sora's mouth watered at the beautiful breakfast and sat down at the table, already stuffing one of the pancakes into his mouth. "Noth really...maygee hangin outh with Riku..." he said in-between mouthfulls.
Cloud nodded. "That's good, me and Leon were going to go shopping for some Halloween decorations, and I think it's safe to assume you don't want to tag along."
Despite how much he loved Leon for taking him in, and how much he accepted his relationship with Cloud, he could not fathom trailing along behind such a... gooey couple... all day.
"Yeah I'll pass... Riku shouldn't be doing anything." Sora took a swig of the cold milk beside his plate. The pancakes were only half gone but his stomach suddenly tightened at the thought of being around Riku, his resolute decision last night still ringing in his ears. He put the glass down slowly and swallowed thickly.
"Can I make a suggestion?" Cloud suddenly asked as he leaned on the counter, directly facing Sora's slumped form.
Said teen stared at Cloud, sensing the older man knew more than Sora had thought. "Depends on what it's about..."
Cloud crossed his arms. "I know what you're going through. I struggled with my sexuality in high school too."
Sora was glad he wasn't drinking or eating anything or he would've choked right then and there, hopefully ending his miserable existence. "Wh-what?" he managed.
Cloud's eyes glittered as he reflected on his past. "It stings to be rejected by someone after you confess to them. Then it's even harder to go back to a normal life. But you'll never be happy until you do something about it. Either convince yourself you don't like him, or approach him about it."
Sora's heart sped as he pictured the confrontation in his mind. Tell him? Tell Riku that he liked him... more than a friend?
Cloud chuckled. "It's hard, but trust me, you'll feel much better afterwards."
Sora played with the condensation on the outside of the glass of milk, his mind playing the scene in a number of different ways. It could end in rejection... or an acceptance. Would Riku hate him after knowing the truth? Would he want to be around him? Or could he possibly feel the same way? There had been times he'd hinted at something... more.
The brunette shook his head, trying to quell the tightening in his stomach.
Cloud walked over and put a comforting hand on his shoulder. He laughed. "Sora, no one can resist that innocent face, you just need to open up and let him know- the truth."
The condensation on the glass was completely gone now and Sora pushed the glass and plate away. "You're right, thanks Cloud. One thing's for sure, I can't live without an answer. I just want closure."
Cloud's somber eyes searched Sora's torn blue ones. "You can do it... and you can always come to me and even the completely useless Leon for advice, we've walked the curved path for quite awhile now."
Sora laughed at Cloud's terrible attempt at humor and felt somewhat more composed. "Somehow I don't doubt that."
Cloud picked up Sora's plate. "You probably won't believe this, but Leon was the one who confessed to me, he's been gay longer than I have."
Sora raised his eyebrows. "I totally saw it the other way around. Leon just seems so...Leon-ish."
The tall blonde laughed. "It was the most awkward exchange of feelings I've ever had. No one has ever serenaded me before, in front of the whole neighborhood..." Cloud's eyes were distant and Sora could tell the memory was a fond one, not an embarrassment.
"Serenaded you? Do I wanna know what song?"
Cloud laughed. "It'll bug you if I don't tell you and you know it."
Sora shrugged knowing full well that Cloud was right, but he feigned indifference and waited for Cloud to continue.
"What's Left of Me by Nick Lachey, I can't listen to that song anymore without laughing. Leon's a great bass but not alto. Didn't fit the song at all. But he brought his guitar and it totally sold it. I said yes while I practically jumped from my balcony into his arms."
Sora couldn't help himself. His built up tension escaped as choked bursts of laughter.
Cloud laughed with him, completely in love and not afraid to admit that his lover was so awkward it was cute.
Just then the door opened and Leon walked in carrying a large box of fresh donuts form the locally owned store in town. "What'd I miss?" he asked as he slung his keys over the hook in the wall and set the box down, wringing out his wet umbrella.
Cloud couldn't resist the innocent look on Leon's bewildered face and placed a chaste kiss on his cool lips. "Nothing important."
Leon kissed him back, wondering just what had put Cloud in such a good mood, suddenly decided it didn't matter, and partook of the reward.
Sora cleared his throat. "Um wanna throw me a donut?"
Leon pulled away from Cloud and reached behind him, pulling out a pink frosted sprinkled donut, and tossed it to Sora, who caught it easily.
"Thanks, I'll see you guys later, I'm heading to Riku's for the day. We'll probably head into town later too."
Cloud pulled away from Leon's tight grasp he'd affirmed while Sora had turned around. "Hey, take this. Something tells me you'll need it."
Sora reached for Cloud's outstretched hand and accepted the wadded bills, amounting to $50. Sora felt like hugging Cloud, but seeing as that was physically impossible due to Leon's entangled miscellaneous limbs with Cloud's, Sora opted to make it up to Cloud later, hastily thanked him, and ran upstairs to call Riku.
Ring....ring....ring....click. Sora's heart stopped.
"'Sup Sor?"
Sora held back form spilling everything over the phone to that beautiful soft voice.
"Do you have any plans for today?"
Riku thought, obviously playing up the fact that he didn't really have plans. "I don't know, I have to check my calendar..."
Sora had to tell himself he was just joking. "Riku..."
"I'm kidding Sor, where do you wanna meet? I'd let you come over, but my uncle's back from a... late night and we wouldn't get any peace and quiet..."
Sora's mind was already in places he didn't want it to be, picturing the two in Riku's room...alone....
"Sora? Hello? You better not have hung up on me."
The brunette coughed, "Um no I'm here. Anyway, you wanna meet at the theatre downtown?"
Riku's voice raised. "Sure! I've been wanting to go see something for ages, Sephiroth is so boring."
Sora's heart was about to explode at the thought of being in a dark movie theatre with Riku, sitting so close, in the dark, where Riku wouldn't hear his heart practically beat itself out of his chest, in the dark.
He cleared his throat. "Alright, be there in 20."
"Mkay Sora, later."
"Bye."
Sora's hand shook while he pressed the 'end' button. He'd done it, he'd set up the situation, and he was gonna take advantage of it dammit, if it was the last thing he did.
He threw on a decent set of clothes, brushed his hair into a somewhat recognizable array, and brushed his teeth, twice for good measure. He stared into the mirror and took a deep breath.
I can do this.
After half an hour, several nasty trips on the sidewalk, and a million heartbeats later, Sora ran up to Riku's patiently waiting and rather enticing figure.
He huffed, trying to catch his breath. Riku looked concerned but couldn't help a small chuckle.
"You look like you fought a bear and a couple rabid sharks."
Sora finally caught his breath and stood up straight. "Rabid sharks?"
Riku shrugged, "Believe what you want, they exist."
The brunette wondered about asking Riku if he was under the influence of anything drug related, but realized that Riku was just being Riku, funny but not too funny.
"Um I believe you. So what do you wanna see?" Sora asked, brushing at the dust on his jeans.
Riku shrugged. "If you ask me, the movies showing today are all a bust. We'd be better off doing something else."
Sora's heart dropped, but remembering what Cloud had told him, he wasn't going to let this throw him off.
"Um alright...wanna head for the park?"
Riku looked at the sky. "I think it's done raining, let's go. Maybe they're selling ice cream today."
"They better have sea-salt ice cream again, that stuff is amazing."
Riku laughed and nodded. "It most definitely is."
They walked in companionable silence for a couple yards, Sora was going over multiple different ways to bring up the subject he wanted to talk to Riku about, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't think of anything.
"So, work on anyone last night?"
Sora almost tripped he was so caught off guard, his mind in the wrong place to understand Riku's real meaning.
"What?"
Riku quirked an eyebrow. "Did you finish any drawings last night? I know you've been obsessing over your work lately."
Sora pulled his mind out of the gutter long enough to form an answer. "Oh- yeah I finished some stuff last night that I'm entering in the art show next month."
"Cool, I can't wait to see it." Riku kicked at some of the small rocks in their path and put his hands in his pockets, much to Sora's dismay.
"What about you? Write anything new lately?"
Riku changed from friendly chat mode into full-on obsessed pianist mode. "Yeah, I've been really inspired lately, you gotta come over later and hear, some of it is about you, you're such a great source of inspiration, Sor."
Sora blushed, glad Riku wouldn't be able to tell if it was a blush or the affect of the cold weather.
"Sounds great, your music is always nice."
"So is your art. Anyway, how have you been lately? This last week at school, you seemed kinda... distant." Riku pulled a hand out of his pocket and swiped at a piece of long, silver hair that had blown into his eyes. The town was getting denser as they got closer to the park, more shops and people to distract them from the awkward tension.
"I'm fine. Just thinking about stuff..." Sora kicked a discarded pop can on the sidewalk and watched it roll ahead of them.
"What kind of stuff?" Riku pressed.
"J-just things, about people. You know, I'm stupid like that."
Riku stopped. "Sora, I hate it when you call yourself stupid. What's wrong?"
Sora kept walking, his eyes downcast, completely confused and... desire-filled. "Can we talk once we get to the park?"
"Sure," Riku said softly, following behind Sora, concerned, yet glad that Sora was willing to talk about what was bothering him. He tended to keep his feelings inside until he finally reached the breaking point.
They got to the park in little less than ten minutes, both unconsciously heading for their favorite place to sit. The ledge of the small wooden bridge that overlooked a large brook, full of crystal clear water.
They sat with their legs dangling over the edge, the park almost completely to themselves save for a couple on a bench a couple yards away, one of them Sora knew from school, Roxas. He was with someone else who had a strikingly noticeable array of red hair. They were, what Sora would guess, cuddling? Sora looked away, feeling lonely despite his best friend in the world being right next to him.
Riku leaned back on his palms, "So, what's up with you being suddenly so quiet?"
Sora sighed, deciding his heart would burst if he took just one more day of the tension.
"I've been thinking, you know about Leon and Cloud... I just was thinking about what it would be like to have someone like they have each other. They're so close, and so- in love. They don't care that they're gay, they're just happy to be around each other. I guess I just wish..."
Riku felt his chest warm and his heart speed up.
Is this happening? Please God, don't let this be a dream.
Sora stopped, choking on his words and insecurity.
"Riku, I don't want to say something to ruin our friendship. You're so important to me that I'd die if I lost you to something so-"
Sora's lips were frozen as Riku placed a loving, soft kiss on his lips. He wasn't leaning on his palms anymore as one of his hands was on top of one of Sora's own shaking one.
Time froze. The climax of Sora's sixteen year old life seemed to be playing before his eyes, and he planned on making it last as long as possible. He cleared the fog in his mind and gained enough bearing to kiss Riku back, putting a little more into the kiss. He stayed like that, tasting Riku and putting it to memory, he never wanted to forget this moment. It was too perfect, too unreal.
Riku pulled away slightly. "I'm so happy you feel the same way. I thought I was going to burst from not being able to tell you."
Sora laughed at the irony. "You have no idea."
Riku stroked Sora's blushing cheek. "All I know, is that I'm beyond happy, nothing could make this day better."
The brunette thought for a minute, a brilliant idea forming as he reached for the money Cloud had given him. "Hold on."
He pulled his hand slowly out from under Riku's and stood up, brushing himself off. "Stay."
Riku laughed, feeling like a dog, decided that was a little too much of a sexual thought, and sat still, marveling at how soft Sora's lips were. After what seemed like an hour, Sora stumbled back to the bridge, lugging a large cardboard box.
"What's that?" Riku asked, peeking over the top of the box.
Sora set the box down between them, sitting down beside it. "Just something to make the day a little better." He opened the flaps and revealed what looked to be a month's supply of sea-salt ice cream. Riku's chest welled with an overflowing sense of love and happiness. He leaned over the box and kissed Sora again, lingering as long as he could before giving in to the luring presence of the ice cream.
He pulled two of the ice creams out and handed one to Sora. "I guess I stand corrected."
Sora took a bite of the blue dessert. "No. You sit corrected."
The two filled the cool autumn afternoon with their absolute happy hoots of laughter, feeling like the center of the universe.
Life was good.
There are no words to describe how much you mean to me, my RiRi, life would be meaningless without you. I love you tons and that'll never change.