House of Diaries: Jerome's reaction.

Mick switched on the photocopier and slid the thin journal into the scanner part of it. 100 copies should be enough he thought to himself as he pressed scan. The first copy slipped out and read:

That party was really nice. I don't think anybody has ever treated me so.. Nicely. I mean, after my mother left me here to rot when I was five I have just become accustomed to being second. To never really being worthy of anything. I never got the best grades, I never did well in after school clubs, I was never any good at sports. The only thing I'm good at is lying and scheming, which fits considering that my father is in prison. I don't think I've ever been that much of a good friend. God, I'm so pathetic.

Those were the last words my mum said to me before she left me at this boarding school, "God Jerome stop snivelling. Stop being so pathetic." Then she flung open the car door and left me here. That's why I'm comfortable with being alone, because for six years I was the only one living in Anubis house except for Trudy and Victor. So alone is natural for me.

Sometimes I just need to escape. I love all my housemates dearly, well except for the meathead, but sometimes I need to be alone. I need to let out the stress and just be free. That's why I self-harm. It's because it's the only way to relieve the stress, the burden of my past that hangs on my shoulders. And when I'm carving these lines into my skin it's all gone, I'm just Jerome. I'm not Jerome the Jokester or Jerome the schemer or Jerome the mean, cold, harsh, unforgiving boy. I'm just me. I wish I could stop but I don't know how to get to that state without bringing a blade to my pale skin.

I don't want to self-harm. I mean who does, you don't ask for the sort of thing. It just... Happens. But I'm just so rotten inside that it was always going to happen to me.

Rotten and Pathetic. That's me. Oh and don't forget worthless Jerome. You're that as well. Why was I even born? Is this all there is to life. Getting better just to get worse.

Pathetic. Worthless. Rotten. /PatheticWorthlessRotten/

~Later~

Ow. God I went too deep that time. That one will definitely scar.

~~~

Maybe that would teach Clarke that he can't just saunter around the house and expect everything to go his way. A little extract from his depressingly boring 'journal' stuck up around school should take him down a peg or two.

Mick isn't a bad person. He isn't evil and he generally isn't malicious but jealously can turn the kindest of people into monsters and Mick is somebody who gets jealous easily, very easily. In Mick's mind Jerome was in the wrong. If Mara hadn't fancied Clarke then she wouldn't have broken up with him. So really this was just Mick getting his revenge. Did he care if everybody hated him after this? No, of course not. He'd been accepted at a sports academy in Australia and was planning on leaving and never coming back to Anubis. So, this was revenge without any real consequences. Sure, Mara might hate him but she's just an ordinary girl. She's nothing special and Mick knows that he'll move on soon enough. A little pain would be worth it to see Clarke knocked down a peg or two. Mick picked up the warm copies and shoved the journal in his bag before proceeding to stick a copy of Jerome's diary onto each notice board and on many of the lockers. He even slid one into Jerome's locker. Then Mick went into the drama room to wait for stupid Clarke to arrive.

The very Jerome was in his room, trying and failing to tie his tie. He hadn't admitted it to anyone but after he had broken his arm, Alfie had started sorting his tie for him on a morning. But today Alfie had left early because he wanted to walk with Amber. So Jerome was stuck in his room trying desperately to sort out his tie. Then there was a light knock on the door. "Come in." Jerome said, running his un-injured hand through his hair nervously. The door swung open and Mara stepped into the room, pulling her hair back off her face. "You having trouble with your tie?" She asked, stepping closer to the attractive blond haired boy in front of her.
"Broken arm." He stated simply, gesturing at the arm that was in a blue cast. Mara flinched slightly as she remembered that horrible night on the chessboard. Jerome noticed her wincing and closed the distance between, wrapping his arm around her comfortingly. "It wasn't your fault." he whispered in her ear, "It was my choice." Mara nodded against his chest, fighting the tears that were threatening to overflow. She stepped out of the hug and reached up to grab his tie, fixing it neatly for him. All the while Jerome was staring down at her, adoration in his eyes as he watched her skilful, slim fingers fix his tie. "I owe you Jaffray." he said, smirking at her.
"You do indeed." Mara replied, smiling widely at him. The two stood staring at each other for slightly longer than friends normally would before they walked out of the room. Jerome lost his balance slightly and fell into Mara who steadied him and wrapped an arm around his waist.

The two friends walked, or in Jerome's case hobbled, over to school. As they entered the building only a small number of students were milling around so Jerome didn't notice that they were all whispering about him. He was too busy telling Mara some joke about chickens and flowers. The small girl laughed at her friends humour and kept her arm around him until they reached Jerome's locker. He quickly unlocked it and pulled out his books, noticing that there was a folded piece of paper resting at the bottom. "Oh would you look at that Jaffray. I've got a note from a secret admirer." He said with a wink. Mara chuckled and rolled her eyes, shutting Jerome's locker as he unfolded the note.

After reading the first few sentences Jerome felt his heart crumble. This was from his diary. Oh, god this was the one where he talked about his self-harm. With fear in his eyes Jerome looked up to see all the other students staring at him. "What's wrong Jerome?" Mara asked, worry clouding her features. A heavy silence fell over the halls until it was broken by one voice yelling, "You emo freak!"

Don't cry Jerome told himself, don't you dare cry. The tall boy stepped away from Mara and attempted to hobble down the corridor to get away from the students with their accusatory stares and scornful glances. The note slipped from his loose grasp and fluttered to the floor, giving Mara a chance to read it. She read through the whole thing, tears forming in her eyes towards the end. She noticed some boys reading another photocopy of Jerome's diary entry. They were laughing. "How could you be do heartless?" Mara yelled at them, running over and slapping one of them round the face. "You disgust me." she spat before she turned on heel, running after Jerome who was already half way down the corridor.

"Jerome!" yelled a voice, but it wasn't Mara. It was Alfie who, like Mara, had tears glistening in his eyes. He ran up to his best friend and wrapped his arms around him saying, "Come on man, let's get you home." Jerome said nothing, he just allowed Alfie to support him as they hobbled back to the house together.

Who would do that? Jerome thought as he hobbled. Why? Why me?

Mara watched Alfie and Jerome leave and hung her head, tears overflowing onto her cheeks. Patricia and Amber rounded the corner and ran over to Mara linking arms with her. "We're going back to the house." Patricia said, confidently dragging Mara down the hallways.
"Why?" The short brunette asked.
"Jerome needs us." Amber said sincerely, pain marring her features.

The three girls arrived at the house about five minutes after the boys and they walked through to the living room to find Alfie making five huge mugs of hot chocolate in the kitchen.
"How is he boo?" Amber asked, bouncing over to her boyfriend and hugging him worriedly.
"Not good." Alfie replied, "Mara did you.. Know." he forced out staring into her eyes. Mara shook her head mutely, tears still dripping down her soft cheeks.

Alfie finished off the hot chocolate and took them up to his and Jerome's room, opening the door, yelling Jerome's name. The blond boy wasn't there. "Spread out." Patricia ordered, stalking out of the door. Mara followed, jogging up the stairs to check that floor. She walked straight past the bathroom but stopped when she heard quiet muttering and cursing coming from inside the bathroom. She pushed open the door, dreading what she was going to find. Jerome was leaning against the sink, slicing a razor blade down the soft flesh just above his elbow crease. Mara let out a startled yelp and Jerome turned to her with vulnerable, scared eyes and whispered, "Help me."

The razor blade clattered to the floor as Mara knocked it out of his hand, wrapping both of her arms tightly around his waist. He buried his face in her hair, unable to hug back because of his one broken arm and one bleeding arm. Mara kissed his neck gently and whispered, "Never do that again." she looked up and met Jerome's tortured eyes. "Please. Never do that again."

"I won't." Jerome choked out, closing his eyes and finally allowing the tears to fall. They stood like that for who knows how long until Jerome's arm began to sting. Mara grabbed a bandage from under the sink and tenderly wrapped it around his arm, securing it with tape. Mara then wrapped her arm around his waist and supported him out of the bathroom downstairs into his room. Alfie and Amber were curled up together on his bed and Patricia was pacing in the doorway. Mara pushed the door opened and led Jerome through, sitting him down on his bed. She perched next to him and stroked his back comfortingly.

"Are you okay buddy?" Alfie asked, leaning forward to pat his best friends arm.
"Not really." Jerome replied, running his hand through his hair. He winced as he moved the bandage, irritating the fresh wound.
"Did you just do it again?" Patricia said, finally stopping pacing. Jerome bowed his head and nodded slightly. Mara squeezed his waist tightly, attempting to reassure him that everything would be okay.

The five of them sat in silence for a few minutes, each wrapped up in their own thoughts. "Do you want to go watch some TV?" Alfie asked. The three girls stared him incredulously. "What? I'm sure that treating this like it's something weird won't make Jerome feel any better."

"Alfie's right." Jerome said, standing up and stretching, wiping away the last of his tears, "Let's go watch some TV." The five of them trooped downstairs and plonked onto the sofas, Amber on the end with Alfie next to her, followed by Jerome with Mara sort of lying with her legs across him. Patricia curled up in the armchair and flicked on the TV.
"Let's watch Toddlers and Tiaras." Amber squealed, still looking a little bit shaken.
"Why not?" Jerome replied, attempting his signature smirk. It looked out of place though; it contrasted with the tear stains on his cheeks.

So the five teens entertained themselves all day by watching rubbish TV about kids in beauty pageants and pregnant sixteen year olds. When it got to lunch time Alfie made them all sandwiches which they ate eagerly. The afternoon passed by quickly but Jerome couldn't shake the sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach. Everybody knew his deepest darkest secret and it didn't feel very nice.

The hands of the clock turned to half past three and the front door opened, revealing a chattering Nina and Fabian. The two of them walked into the living room and shot Jerome sympathetic smiles before disappearing up into Fabian's room. Then Joy snuck in with Eddie right behind her. The two of them sank into chairs and began laughing along with the other five to whatever stupid program they were watching. During the advert break Eddie looked up and met Jerome's eyes saying sincerely, "Sorry Jerry." the troubled blond boy just smiled weakly at Eddie, nodding his head at the same time. It meant that they were cool but Jerome just didn't want to talk about it.

About fifteen minutes later the door swung open and Trudy dashed in, searching frantically for Jerome. When she found him, she pulled him into a tight hug and said, "Your mother may not be here, but we are and we are your real family dear." Jerome smiled properly for the first time since the incident and attempted to hug Trudy back without injuring himself further. Then Trudy disappeared off into the kitchen to get started with dinner.

Another fifteen minutes passed before the front door opened and Mick sauntered in feeling very pleased with himself. He walked into the living room and wasn't so pleased to see Mara lying across Jerome with her face buried into his chest, laughing at whatever he just said.

"Hey there emo." Mick said as he walked, enjoying it when Jerome stiffened and visibly winced. Patricia, Amber and Eddie all turned and shot dagger eyes at him. "Don't look at me. It's not my fault the idiot left his diary out where anybody could find it." Mick said, sneering the word diary.
"It's a journal." Jerome said calmly.
"Sorry, I didn't hear that freak." Mick replied. The small group were all about to argue against Mick's accusation when Joy stood up and walked over to him. "Keep talking and I'll tell them." She said, glaring at Mick pushing him backwards.
"Do it." He said, confidently.
"Mick here was-."
"Oh, but before you do, here." Mick interrupted, throwing Jerome's journal at him. "I thought the freak might want it back." This time Mara stood up and walked over to Mick, disgust lacing her voice, "It was you?" she spat, venom oozing through her normally calm and caring voice.
"Yep." Mick replied, popping the 'P' sound.
"Why?" Mara asked.
"Because if Jerome hadn't come along you wouldn't have broken up with me and I still want us to be together. We should never have broken up. We were perfect-"
"Mick, why do you care. You were cheating on her anyway!" Joy yelled, slapping him across the face. The other housemates gasped at the shocking news. "Now don't you dare stand there and say those atrocious lies to my friend. Mara was a thousand times too good for you and now everybody can see it you cheating lowlife scum. Why don't you just bugger off to Australia already Mick. In fact, I think we'd all chip in to buy you a plane ticket." Joy finished, triumphantly glaring at Mick's shocked expression.

"I couldn't have said it better myself Joy." Jerome said, pulling himself up off the sofa and walking over to Mara who had tears dripping down her face. "You-You cheated on me." she asked, venerability in her eyes.
"Look, Mars I never-"
"Don't you dare!" Jerome cut in, quivering with anger. "Don't you dare try and pull that rubbish on Mara. How dare you even look her in the face? How can you call her Mars, pretend you care when it was you who cheated in the first place. You never deserved Mara. She deserved someone kinder and more caring than you. Someone who would treat her right. You make me sick Mick Campbell. Now get the hell out of here because of you don't I will punch you in the face and I won't even care that I have a broken arm." Jerome spouted, shaking with pent up anger, frustration and hatred. "You have five seconds."
"Mara please-"
"Five."
"I didn't mean to I-"
"Four."
"I'm sorry."
"Three."
"Please forgive me."
"Two."
"Mara." the brunette looked up and met his pleading eyes.
"One." she said glaring at him. Mick finally understood that this was it. He had finally crossed the line and nobody would ever forgive him.
"I guess I have a flight to book." he said before leaving the room.

Jerome turned to Mara and hugged her tightly, pressing his face into her hair, "I'm so sorry that the stupid meathead did that to you Mara." he said sincerely, pulling her even closer to him.
"It's okay Jerome." Mara replied, "It's not your fault."

The pair finally broke their hug and Mara turned to Joy, wrapping her arms around her friend and hugging her tightly. "Thank you." She whispered into Joy's ear.
"Anytime Mara." her friend replied, "Jerome was right, Mick didn't deserve you."

Dinner later on was an awkward affair. Trudy had obviously heard about the fight so while she piled generous heaps of potatoes on everyone's plates she only gave Mick a small dollop and for pudding he got the smallest slice of cake.

The hours passed quickly till bedtime with Mara, Alfie, Amber, Patricia, Eddie, Jerome, Joy, Fabian and Nina all playing truth or dare in Alfie and Jerome's room. The evening was spent in fits of laughter as people admitted to doing all sorts of crazy things. There was nothing heavy or depressing, just a group of friends having fun. Jerome could almost forget what had happened during the day, almost.

But then Victor announced that it was time to go to bed so everybody started heading off to their own rooms. Alfie followed Amber into her room because the Sibuna's were having a late night meeting about the mask that Jerome and Mara refused to go to. They had done their parts and they didn't want to have to go and join in with another task. They had finished with Sibuna. Everybody except Mara had left the room and she was just standing up to leave when Jerome caught her lightly by the wrist. "Please stay." He said, meeting her eyes, vunerability and pain clear on his face. "I don't trust myself to be alone."

So Mara shut his bedroom door and switched off the light, slipping into Alfie's bed and whispering, "Goodnight Jerome."

~5 hours later~

Mara woke with a start at around three the morning because she heard a loud cry of pain. She rolled out of the unfamiliar bed and groped around for a while until she found a bedside lamp. She looked over to see Jerome tangled up in his sheets, murmuring and crying out in his sleep. He must be having a nightmare, Mara thought to herself. She padded over to Jerome's bed and sat on it, reaching down to gingerly shake Jerome awake. "Jerome, it's just a dream." She soothed, as she shook the boy she loves. "Jerome, wake up." The blond boy sat up suddenly, panting and gasping for breath. He took a few deep breaths before he realised where he was and who he was with. Mara leant forwards and hugged him around the middle, rubbing his back soothingly. Jerome laid back down again but as soon as Mara tried to climb out of his bed he wrapped an arm around her. "Please." He said, desperately. "I need someone to wake me from the nightmares." Mara sighed, she wasn't really that unhappy with the sleeping arrangements. She snuggled back into Jerome and he wrapped his non broken arm around her tightly. The lanky, scared blond boy relaxed and fell asleep to the sound of Mara's quiet breathing.