Why, hello, interested readers. Are you ready for a tale of drama, intrigue, and a very irritable plumber? If so, then this is the story for you! This is my first fanfiction, so keep that in mind. I know there are other stories about Princess Peach getting pregnant (and they're probably much better than mine), but I thought I'd give it a try. Here we go!

Disclaimer: All of these characters belong to Nintendo (and my heart).

Chapter 1

Princess Peach's alarm clock buzzed at 9 a.m., saving her from the rather unpleasant dream she had been having. It was nothing scary, the dream – just a fairly standard Bowser kidnapping – but Peach was still frustrated by it. I already get kidnapped by Bowser on a weekly basis, she thought to herself. Do I really need to have dreams about him, too?

The Princess slowly rose from her bed, distracting herself from thoughts of Bowser. She and Mario were vacationing together on Isle Delfino, and she wouldn't let her trip be ruined by silly dreams! Besides, if Bowser really did come, Mario was right here in this hotel room to protect her. Or… was he? No, of course not. Peach remembered now – Mario had said he would meet her in the lobby in the morning after a round of golf. She took a deep, calming breath and slowly got dressed. I need to relax, she thought to herself. I'm perfectly safe here. But as hard as she tried, she simply couldn't shake the idea that Bowser was coming for her. He always kidnapped her at the worst possible times… And the middle of a vacation certainly qualified. She had no explanation, but she simply knew he was coming.

Peach sighed, already resigned to her fate, and walked off to the lobby to look for Mario. When she arrived, however, he was nowhere to be seen. She wasn't surprised; he often abandoned their plans to go off on some adventure. He could easily let the hotel guards handle the bad guys that showed up, but no – he just had to be the hero. Peach glanced out the window, and sure enough, there he was jumping on Bowser's head.

"Ow! Get off me, you stupid plumber!" Bowser yelled. "I'm here to take back the woman I love!"

"You idiot! When are you going to get it?" Mario retaliated. "The princess doesn't love you, and she never will! You're a fat, weird, ugly dude and you could never get a girl like her!"

Peach sighed. There were times when she loved Mario, but she truly hated this side of him. Although Bowser was a monster, and his constant kidnappings were certainly inconvenient, he didn't deserve such cruel treatment. Then again, the princess didn't deserve to be kidnapped, either.

Peach watched the battle for a few minutes, mentally cheering Mario on, but it looked like he was going to lose this one. There were simply too many koopas and goombas from Bowser's army. Of course, Mario had told the security guards he could handle it all on his own. So brave, yet so stupid, Peach thought. A quick fireball from Bowser left him bruised and beaten. All of a sudden, Bowser looked up and noticed Peach watching him from the window. He gave a sly smile, leaving Mario behind and walking towards the Princess. Peach finally realized that maybe this wasn't the best place to hide, and she fled back through the hotel. However, it was only a matter of time before Bowser and his minions had backed her into a corner.

"Why, hello, my dear," Bowser said with a wicked smile. "My beautiful princess… I missed you."

"Ugh," Peach replied, "did you really miss me so much that you had to interrupt my vacation?"

Bowser laughed heartily. "Still sassy as ever," he remarked. One of his koopa guards stepped forward to grab the Princess, but Bowser pushed him aside.

"Don't worry, my love, I'll carry you myself," Bowser said. "That's how much of a nice guy I am." At that, Bowser picked Peach up and slung her body over his shoulder. A few years ago, that kind of rough handling would have had the princess kicking and screaming. Now, however, she was used to it.

Honestly, Peach didn't mind the kidnappings so much anymore. They were more of a minor annoyance than anything else. Besides, Toadsworth did a fine job of running the kingdom in her absence. Truly, the only real downfall was being separated from Mario. She had been with him ever since she was a teenager, and being away from him felt… wrong, somehow. But Peach supposed that, as far as evil captors go, Bowser was actually a decent guy. He treated her quite well, aside from the minor technicality of having stolen her.

When they arrived at Bowser's castle, he put Peach down and wrapped his thick arm around her waist.

"Come with me, Peachy," Bowser said. "I'll see you to your room."

Peach looked at him incredulously. "I've been here countless times, Bowser. Don't you think I know where my room is?"

"Oh, no, not this time," he replied. "You'll be staying in a special area of the castle tonight."

Peach immediately began trying to figure out what Bowser was up to. His newfound kindness was awfully suspicious. She tried to squirm her way out of Bowser's tight grip, but he only pulled her closer to him. They walked into the West Wing of the castle, which was new to Peach, and she was awestruck.

"It's gorgeous," the Princess said, staring open-mouthed at the beauty around her. The typically bare walls of Bowser's castle were now adorned with various paintings and works of art. A beautiful carpet stretched down the floor, making the whole hall look more inviting.

"I hope you like the decorations, Peachy," Bowser said sheepishly. "I did it all for you."

"Did… did you really?" Peach asked. "It's marvelous! Nobody's ever done anything like this for me. I feel honoured."

Bowser's face suddenly contorted with rage. Peach took a few steps back, terrified. "What is it? Did I say something wrong?" she muttered.

"No. There's nothing wrong with you, Peach. It's that idiot, Mario. I can't believe that he doesn't do things like this for you! What an ass! Princess, if you were mine, I would bring the romance 24/7."

Now it was Peach's turn to get angry. "Don't you dare insult Mario!" she cried. "He's a wonderful man. He… he does things for me! He - well, he always rescues me…"

Bowser snorted derisively, and the conversation was over. As much as Peach didn't like Bowser's attitude, he did have a point. Mario wasn't exactly the romantic type. Still, at least he treated Peach respectfully and never kidnapped her. What right did Bowser have to say those things about him?

After some time walking in silence, Bowser and Peach had both cooled down. They eventually arrived at a massive bedroom, and Peach couldn't help but admire it. The colour scheme was gorgeous – deep reds and blacks – and the floor was covered in rose petals. A warm fire lit up the room from the corner. What particularly drew Peach's attention was the bed – it looked like the most comfortable piece of furniture she had ever laid eyes on. She ran to the center of the room and lay down on it, caressing the soft sheets and even softer blanket. Bowser walked up to her, smiling, and flopped on the bed next to her. Peach clearly had no interest in being in bed with Bowser, and she quickly tried to get up. But the big dragon pulled her into an embrace on the bed, and no amount of squirming would get her out of it.

"This… this is what I've always wanted, my love. You and I, in bed together, at peace," Bowser said with a sigh.

"Do I look like I'm at peace?!" Peach yelled. "Stop touching me! I don't want to be with you!"

When Bowser heard those words, he gave a deep sigh and let Peach go. She immediately got up and scrambled to the other side of the room.

"Oh, my dear…" Bowser began, but Peach swiftly told him to stop calling her that. She knew what was coming next. Bowser would say that she belonged to him now, or that she should stop resisting. Peach had been through this a thousand times before, and she would go through it a thousand times more.

"Why do you think I kidnap you all the time?" Bowser asked slowly.

Peach was surprised. This was a tactic she wasn't used to. What was he playing at?

"Well," she began, "I always assumed you do it so I'll marry you. Then you'd have control over the Mushroom Kingdom."

Bowser got off the bed and took a few steps towards Peach. There was a strange look in his eyes – not the lust or anger that she so often saw, but something sweet.

"Peach, I couldn't care less about ruling your kingdom. I have my own. There's only one reason why I do this, and I think you know what it is."

The Princess looked away from Bowser, unable to meet his sad eyes. Of course she knew what it was.

"Bowser," she said softly, "you know I'm in love with Mario."

The loving look in Bowser's face quickly vanished, replaced by anger. "But WHY?" Bowser yelled, his voice shaking the walls of the room. He continued walking towards Peach, more aggressively now, as she backed away towards the wall. "How can you love such a vile, mean little man? He doesn't treat you right! He doesn't buy you flowers or take you out to dinner! All Mario does is run off on adventures – without you! I would never leave you! I would tell you I love you every day! I would –"

"You would kidnap me, that's what you would do!" Peach retorted. She couldn't stand to see Bowser attack Mario in such a way, even if his words were somewhat true. "You act like you would treat me right, but all you ever do is kidnap me! You take me away from Mario, the man I love!"

Bowser was growing angrier and angrier by the second. "I kidnap you," he said slowly, "because I'm trying to show you what love is. This is how a man should treat his woman – with roses and romance. Let me ask you this, princess: has Mario ever done for you the things I've done?"

Peach was silent for a minute. She couldn't get her thoughts straight in her mind. Yes, Bowser was much more romantic than Mario. But, still, he kidnapped her! It was a horrible thing to do to a woman he supposedly loved.

"Do you know what the sad thing is, Bowser?" Peach asked. "If you had been a gentleman and asked me out on a date, instead of kidnapping me… I might have said yes. I… I might have loved you back."

Now it was Bowser's turn to go silent. Perhaps Peach was right, and he was showing his love in the wrong way.

"Well then, Peach," he said meekly, "will you go out on a date with me?"

Peach crossed her arms and turned her back on Bowser. "It's far too late for that," she said venomously.

The anger returned to Bowser's face and he let out a long, slow growl. Getting this princess to love him was proving very difficult. An idea was coming to him, though, and he slammed the door as he went off to plan it.