Everyone's probably going to hate me for this, but who cares? I need to make fun of this. I'm gonna make fun of more things- Link, Spongebob, and Percy Jackson for a start- and I actually like those shows/books/games. So please don't take my writings too seriously.
"Oh Edward, I love you," said Bella.
"But…"
"But what, my I-love-blood-sucking-honey-bear-that which I love?"
"It's just…"
"What is it, Bella? Am I not dramatic enough? Do I have too many fans? Are you jealous of my many adoring fans?"
Suddenly a girl screamed, "Look, it's Ed-"
Edward cupped his hand around her mouth. "If you keep quiet, I'll stalk you," he bribed.
The girl's eyes fluttered. "You… you really mean it!"
"Yes. And I'll turn you into a vampire too!"
The girl ran away, screaming, "OH MY GOD! EDWARD JUST SAID HE'D STALK ME! I'M SO HAPPY!"
Bella glared at him.
"That's the problem," she said curtly.
Edward scowled.
"Fine then. If my narcissusism is too overwhelming to you, then fine! I'll just keep Jacob all to myself! We're through!" Ed shouted.
Bella snorted and walked away.
She needed to find Vladimir Tod and make him her boyfriend, so that Edward would be jealous of her new vampire "friend".
Of course, she'd have to keep the fact she would be using Vlad a secret from both of them…
That was me, making fun of Twilight! I love Vladimir Tod, so I had to include him. I hope all you people out there won't hate me too much!