Disclaimer: The song (Atemlos) belongs to Luxuslärm, the characters to Joanne. K. Rowling.
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Dass du mich nicht vergleichst, macht dich unvergleichlich
Nein, ich schaff das nicht allein, was mit dir so leicht ist!
Du bist kostbar, bist so oft mein Rettungsboot
In diesem Augenblick machst du mich wieder atemlos
Atemlos!
(That you don't compare me makes you uncompareable
No, I can't take this on my own, it's so easy with you!
You are precios, are my lifesaver so many times
In this moment you make me breathless again
Breathless!)
*+~_#~#_~+*
I am crazy. I am not normal. I've got my head up in the clouds. That's what they say about me. Again and again, they call my name in a way I hate it and in a way, wich turns apart my heart.
Loony.
Crazy Loony Lovegood.
They think, I can't hear them, but I'm afraid, I'm not deaf. I'd like to be, would like to forget how they deride me, laugh at me, say, I am silly. Sometimes I'd like to take my hands over my ears and run through Hogwarts with a scream on my lips.
Run away.
Away from their bad speeches.
Away from their cold voices.
Away from their nasty faces.
I escape into the Room of Requirements.
Sometimes I wish, I'd be the girl I pretend to be.
Invulnerable.
Their speeches shouldn't toch me to the quick, but they do.
Everytime, when they' ve thought of something new to deride me, to hurt me, I run away. I run to the Room of Requirements, because, I can be myself there, can talk with Nargels or Wrackspurts. I can talk with all the other creatures in wich I believe and the room would never laugh at me. I'm alone there, alone with the consoling silence.
Nothing.
Nothing but a girl with red hair like fire. Her blue eyes keep watching me. She thinks, I can't see her, but I do, I've already picked every single detail of her outside appearance. I'm sure she's a Weasley, because it's the only wizard family with red hair. She alwys has a ponytail to keep her hair out of her eyes. Her face is full of freckles, but this doesn't make her dislikeable. When she's looking at me, her blue eyes sparkle with fun and the spirit of enterprise. But there's always something else in her look. Worry.
Who is she worrying about? And why?
That's what I think of when I arrive at the Room of Requirements and sit down on the cold stone floor. I stare at it and try to order my thoughts, wich are chasing itselfs.
They'll never accept me. I've seen it in their faces, before the Sorting Hat was coming over my eyes.
Disgust.
Cunfusion.
They'll never understand me.
My mask suits, but it also hurts, when I wake up and my shoes are gone again. I know that this can't be the Nargels, who are stealing my shoes day by day, they're too small. Too small to hurt me.
My hand cramps, digs herself into the floor, my ankles get white.
"You're gonna brake your hand if you continue doing this." Worried, amused and nearly laughed. That's how she talks to me the first time. That's how she talks to me, standing in front of my nose like she has been standing there for hours.
My head goes up, I'm starring into her blue eyes, wich are sparkling to me. I put on my mask at once.
An old custom of mine.
An old custom of mine, wich I'd like to send to hell. Wich I'd like to forget at once.
"What do you mean?" Singing, happyliy. That's how the words come over my lips. That's so different from what I feel. It's so far away from my hurting heart. I'd like to grab her shoulders and scream into her face. I'd like to tell her how I really feel. And I want her to do something against my pain. But I can't even open my mouth.
"Your hand. You're gonna ruin the floor." Giggeling, declaratoring. Does she feel that happy? Her eyes only say that she's happy and a little bit worried about something, but I ask myself if she's carrying one of the masks nearly everyone puts on. What did I do to the poor floor? It's completely ruined. I've used magic without wanting it. That's... Irritating.
"Hi. My name's Ginny Weasley." Friendly. Kind.
"I am Luna Lovegood." Skeptical. Scrutinizing.
I don't know if I am able to have a friend, but I know one thing for sure: If you're knocked down there's only the way up.
*+~_#~#_~+* Atemlos !
(Breathless!)