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Love Letters

On the occasion of your 38th birthday

My dearest Louisa,

In thinking about a perfect gift to get you, I realize that there are few things you want materially that I can't easily provide for you. So it occurred to me to give you something you might really value and something that I have a great deal of difficulty expressing most of the time – and you might enjoy receiving a letter, putting down in words all the reasons I love you and what you mean to me and how much of a difference you've made in my life.

When Philip was born, I told you that when I saw the taxi crash, in that instant I was overwhelmed with the thought that you were forever gone from my life. My relief at finding you alive and relatively uninjured, despite being greatly pregnant, obliterated my pride and sense of self. In fact, what I realized then and now is what I've known all along, ever since meeting you. "I can't bear to be apart", was what I said when I proposed to you. I was right then, and I'm forever grateful that you said yes to getting back together when Philip was born.

Since then my love and respect for you has grown.

My respect for your being a wonderful mother to Philip. You are loving, patient and kind, warm and funny. Above all, you provide him something I never had as a child: complete security in the knowledge that his mother loves him unconditionally and wholeheartedly. What a treasure. With good fortune and planning on our parts, he'll never know differently. You have an unbelievable gift of giving yourself when you love him, and when you love me as his father. I can't thank you enough. The words seem simple and even look a bit silly on the page, but believe me when I tell you that I love you more each day at least in part because of how much you love our son.

But I must admit that I love the way you love me too, and how you show it every single day. I've never experienced the kind of love you so freely give me. I've never had a sustained relationship with anyone, except Joan. I am grateful to you each day … although I know I don't admit it enough out loud. I do try to show you with my actions rather than my words. But the point of this letter is to tell you in the words I don't say often enough. I am no Robert Browning … I have little experience saying the words out loud and they don't come easily, even if I feel them deeply.

You have made my life – our lives – exceptional and wonderful by your presence. I was originally attracted to your beauty (I still am) but as I have learned, there is so much more to you than that. Your energy, your embrace of life, your never backing down when you decide to do something, your little smiles when you see something you like, your planning how to make other people's lives better … you are a cottage industry all unto yourself. We're incredibly lucky to have you. I'm lucky you said yes to being together for the rest of our lives. Happy Birthday, my beautiful wife, with all my love, your devoted Martin

On the occasion of your 39th Birthday

My darling Louisa,

It's hard to imagine it has been another year. I say this with all my heart: you don't look a day over 30 … and from the physical signs that I monitor regularly, you exhibit all the healthy signs of a much younger woman. I'm a lucky man to be married to such a hot young babe – I know that doesn't sound like me, but neither does writing a letter at all seem like me, so I'm already outside my comfort zone. You are a babe.

Seriously, although that was a bit tongue in cheek, I am lucky. My love for you grows daily – incrementally at times, by leaps and bounds at others. I love coming home to you and Philip each day, preparing our dinner and sitting and talking about so many things. It's one of my favorite things to do. Then we put him to bed, so we can share some time alone. I cherish our private time. In fact, I've come to rely on you so much. I trust your advice, I trust you to be completely honest and direct with me, I value your insight and wisdom into how to deal with people and situations.

There are times I disagree with you, but I value the exchange of ideas between us, whether we agree or not. You are the one person I know who tells me straight on what you think with no sugar coating. And although I may not show it, if you say it, I know I have to consider the source. You are someone who has my best interests at heart. I have not had that in my life before, and I find I'm getting used to having you in my corner. I don't think I can imagine not having you as the most important person in my life.

I hope I provide that kind of support to you. My intent is usually pure in this regard, although my delivery methods may be more ambiguous in appearance.

Anyway, back to my original theme: You're still very hot and on your 39th birthday, I remain your devoted husband, all my love, Martin

PS I would like to propose a modification to our schedule. Philip is old enough to have a babysitter once every other week – whether it's Joan or someone else whom we could hire as a regular sitter. I would like to invite you on a date every other week (we can determine which night or nights are best). It is meant for us to spend time alone, just the two of us. We can have dinner or go for a drive or go to the theater or do whatever you like, but the point is that we spend private time, alone.

I fell in love with you because I wanted to be with you, with your undivided attention and with you having my undivided attention. Our home life is wonderful, but I would like to add one dimension to it, by instituting Date Night. Philip will get used to it and think it's part of our normal lives. I will be much more content if I'm able to spend more time alone with you. Plus, I have a couple of ideas of things I'd like us to do, just the two of us.