Disclaimers - All characters are over 18 and they aren't mine.
Thanks - To my wonderful beta Lindsey.

"Stephen!" Jack shouts gazing up at Stephen "come on in the water is really warm".

"There's something swimming near you" Stephen yells back pointing with his finger while one of his slender hands wraps itself tightly around a rope.

Jack sighs staring deep into the water around him "there's nothing Stephen ... come on, jump".

"No Jack!".

"I'll catch you Steve" Jack shouts; reaching out with his arms for Stephen "come on!"

"I hate you Aubrey!" Steve cries out, jumping into the water.

"Jack!" he yells wrapping his arms around Jack's neck.

"Hey Stephen it's ok ... I'm here, I've got you" Jack tries to soothe him but Stephen is almost suffocating him, his damp rapid breath is tickling his neck "look at me Steve".

"No ... why? You let me jump" Stephen cries out as his fingers entwining through the strands of Jack's wet hair.

"Because there's nothing to fear ... I just wanted you to swim a bit with me" Jack tries to justify himself, he allows himself to close his eyes briefly enjoying the fact that Stephen is so close to him ... he likes these few intimate moments that they come to share sometime ... he likes the fact that his friend is letting him hold his body so tight and ... and he doesn't even need to justify anything ... yes these moments are so few ... and for Jack are a treasure.

"Oh! Something just touched my leg" Steve jumps ... white knuckles wrapped tightly around Jack's wet blond hair.

Jack rolls up his blue eyes sighing "Steve look at me" he demands, softly though.

"No Jack, believe me, something just touched my leg".

"Steve open your eyes and look at me ... don't be stubborn like usual" Jack smiles, amused by his friend's reaction.

"It's true. Something just touched me" he insists slapping Jack's chest "don't you believe me Captain?"

"Yes my dear, I do" Jack nods "maybe it was just a fish".

"Maybe?" Stephen asks opening his clear blue eyes wide.

"I don't know, these waters are full of sharks so-"

"Jack!" Stephen yells pushing away from him and swimming toward the ship.

Jack starts to swim after him while laughing hard "oh please Steve look at yourself ... you are so amusing to watch".

"Oh, so you are having fun with me Jack" Stephen points out, gesturing to Killick for him to help "I hate you Aubrey".

"No you don't" Jack grins standing behind him water swirling around them "let me help you dear".

"No Jack!" he yells pushing him away "I prefer Killick".

Jack rises up his hands,defeated, and says "as you want Stephen" not even attempting to hide his smile.

After a while he follows his friend while Killick quickly puts on him a large towel as he watches from distance as Steve walks towards Pullings. He remains unmoving as salt water drips down ... he watches the two men talk and ... and suddenly he doesn't know if the bitter taste in his mouth is coming from salt water or from seeing Stephen standing so close to Tom. After a long moment he notices that Killick is pushing a cup of coffee between his hands and he raises his eyes toward the old man to thank him.He turns for to stare at the wide ocean in front of him ... but he doesn't know why ... something is disturbing him ... a strange feeling in his head is crawling and wont leave him at peace.

It's so strange and casual how sometimes your mind goes to recall old events that you lived and can't forget ... that you saw during your past years ... and ... and usually for Jack this would happen during the night ... white insomniac nights where he would find himself lying in his hammock ... staring at the roof while trying to quiet his mind ... his many ... to many dancing thoughts, while trying to close his eyes and sleep ... but these nights were always spent with him eventually rising up from his hammock for to go to sit in front of the big sheet glass of his cabin while listening to every little rumor that his Surprise or his men would produce ... obviously there were also his flowery thoughts to keep him company.

So that night ... was one of his insomniac nights but there wasn't any enemy keeping him awake ... there wasn't any battle to plan or a any fight to attend ... and Jack sighed while rubbing his temples because also if he was feeling tired he so wanted to close his eyes but his mind was thinking otherwise and so here he was standing while leaned against the wall while staring in front of him at the wall and his cabin was enveloped in darkness ... and outside there wasn't Moon ... only a nasty and harsh wind blowing ... insinuating into each little slit of his ship ... like his thoughts he thought scratching his chin ... like his thoughts that were keeping him wide awake.

He was only a midshipman ... a mere cade he remembered, it was the second ... no the third mission that he was attending ... he could remember that night ... it was so vivid and white - hot in his mind ... impressed into his mind ... that night was so hot and humid, the heat was unbereable and with no wind or water it wa hard to find a moment of freshness ... there was no escape on that ship ... from that heavy heat.

He couldn't sleep ... he was sweating, feeling dizzy ... life on a ship wasn't easy .He learned that very well ... he was able to resist to anything but ... but that night he found himself thinking that he wanted to go back home ... he wanted to escape from that grip ... if only he had some fresh water ... some ice.

He didn't noticed them ... no he was staring at the wide dark ocean ... he was all taken by his thoughts ... by his needs and he didn't noticed them until he heard a rumor ... the ship was silent ... was mute like it was ready to assist with what Aubrey was there to discover ... he saw these two shadows and he was able to recognize one of them easily ... it was the 1st Lt. ... what was his name? He couldn't recall it anymore ... too many faces, too many names ... too many places he had seen, to be able to remember everything but he could still picture him in his mind ... he was tall and with dark hair under his chin he had a little but deep scar ... he was a smart man ... but not so smart to hide his sins and Aubrey was probably the only one that saw them ... heard them.

Their kiss at first was almost awkard ... the other man that Jack couldn't see very well was whispering softly while staring around them suspiciously ... Jack wanted to step back and go to hide under his hammock but he was frozen... he just couldn't bring himself to make a move ... the 1st Lt. was caressing the other mans cheek while talking ... surely Jack thought he was trying to reassure him ... it was a foolish thing to do on a ship with tons of men ready to butcher your for sinful behaviour ... but Jack had heard those stories of lonely men that would find a bit of relief in doing such activities with others of the same sex ... yes, he had heard those stories and now with so many long years passed on the sea ... he could understand them ... their needs ... lonely men in a lonely world.

Yes he was only a young boy, but old enough to understand what they were doing, it was something that old sailors had told to him ... Aubrey remained there until the two men decided to separate ... leaving the 1st Lt. standing alone in contemplation of the wide ocean ... the young boy saw them ... heard them ... he saw their kisses and the hungry hands that famished touched their bodies ... he heard their soft moans and also if they were hiding ... as if there was no moon to light the night ... Aubrey saw and heard the little whispered words ... the little movements.

He licked his dry lips, noticing that it was dawn ... another lonely insomniac night he thought while rubbing his tired eyes ... Stephen ... since that man had stepped into his life ... well he had changed his point of view about many things ... something inside him had changed and lately he would find himself thinking that it was hard even to recognize himself anymore ... to understand what he truly wanted and what his thoughts were really meaning to him ... telling to him.

Stephen wasn't really a morning person but who could be a morning person when you had sleep all night in a little and uncomfortable hammock that would swing for all the fucking night ... no he couldn't blame Stephen, so he took the plate that Killick had brought a moment ago... a biscuit ... he rolled it between his fingers like feeling the coarse grains of the little biscuit before handing it to his friend.

"Here Stephen, eat one biscuit" he offered smiling softly.

Steve raised his eyes and put down some papers that he was reading "no thanks Jack". He briefly smiled then returned to reading.

"But these are great my dear and you can't drink only a coffee" he insisted.

"Jack are you my doctor?" he asked rising an eyebrow.

"No" Jack shrugged, putting down the biscuit "I was only offering".

Stephen remained in scilence for a long moment while staring at his Captain. Then, sighing he grabbed the biscuit, making Jack smile thriumphly.

"Sometimes I can't bring myself to deny to you" Stephen sighed chewing the biscuit "and I wonder why".

"Because I'm irresistible my dear" the broad man grinned offering to Stephen another biscuit "and also because you know how stubborn I can be".

"Oh please Jack!" Stephen sighed rolling up his eyes.

Yes, Jack loved to have Stephen with him ... he was feeling much more lucky then the other sailors or captains because he had Stephen with him ... he wasn't a lonely man in a lonely world ... not when Steve was by his side ... not when he could share these little intimate moments with him ... this could be enough for Lucky Jack ... this could be enough for a Captain if only ... if only lately he hadn't started to feel this kind of sickness ... this sensation that would bring him to miss Steve when he wasn't with him ... that would bring him to wish something more ... something that he couldn't even dare to ask ... something that others would whisper ... that others would find inappropriate and dirty.

At first Jack had thought that it was the life on a ship that would bring to him such thoughts ... lonely nights ... little and chaotic spaces ... no room for anything ... and no women ... yes he always had thought that it was the ship that surely would drive him crazy and think at such nasty thoughts ... to think of his friend in that way ... but with years passing ... with each return at home ... to his wife ... he thought ... he thought bitterly that there was no justification ... there was no escape ... no excuse for such desire ... for such burning needs ... he simply wanted more ... he simply wanted Stephen in a different, nasty way ... he simply wanted something carnal and sinful ... and these little voices were like that blowing cold wind that was able to creep into his mind ... into his being, voices that were becoming more strong like his needs and wants ... and suddenly he understood that he wanted Steve as his lover.

Sex for Jack was like food ... the more he had ...the more he was happy. He was always starving for it, but months on a ship, if not years, tought him that his hand could be a good and silent friend and his mind a fervid place of thoughts. And surely for Captain Aubrey wasn't simple when his fervid mind started to dish out thoughts about his Doctor Maturin ... his best friend ... a naked and wanton friend ... no it wasn't all right to just jack off and then only come for the nasty things that he would not do with his wife if she would be there ... no no ... it was strange and also so erotic to just come with the image of his naked friend riding his cock ... God, where he did find that image?

Often he would stop to masturbate himself but ... but for Jack it was impossible to not do it ... and each fucking time he tried to picture his beloved wife .Well ... Stephen would appear ... and drive him wild and crazy ... Sophia was not able to produce such reaction in him.

But what Jack wasn't expecting was that more he tried to repress his thoughts the more they grew and by now he was so in love with Stephen that he almost blamed him for what was happening ... he was trying his best ... really his best not to wake any suspicions around him ... a ship was a little world and he didn't needed a mutiny.

It was winter when a clumsy young sailor mistook a simple manoeuvre and sent the Doctor into the cold ocean ... Jack was having dinner when he heard the screams of his men coming from the deck and, after a moment, Killick had burst into his cabin yelling that the doctor had fallen from the ship and into the freezing ocean.

Really Jack couldn't even remember having thrown down the glass of red wine that he was sipping and couldn't remember what he yelled to his men ... how he went upstairs on the deck ... how many men he pushed away and how he hastily he threw away his jacket and boots and jumped into the cold waters ... no, he couldn't remember ... what Jack truly rememebered was the increasing fear, the thoughts that he had lost his friend ... to not have had the time to say what he wanted ... should said to him ... Jack was afraid that there was no more time for him. That his chance was gone with the little fly that his irish friend had make.

But there was a reason for his nickname of Lucky Jack... the waters were so cold that it was like hundreds of little daggers hitting him everywhere. He found and grabbed Stephen who had almost given up ... cold kills faster than a sword, he thought, holding his incoherent and shivering friend ... and he prayed that it wasn't too late to say what he had to say. Higgins wasn't so helpful when he tried to check the doctor's conditions ... huge dark eyes and sweating eyebrows...attempting to check Stephens conditions with Jack standing behind him still wet...still dripping salt water ... still shaking and praying that it wasn't too late for Stephen.

That night he slept with him ... he slept with Stephen resting on his warm and naked chest ... in his hammock after he had sent everybody away ... after he had yelled angry words slamming, the door of his cabin. Stephen had stopped to shiver in the two thick blankets that were keeping him warm. Jack softly kissed the top of his head, Stephen's short hair was still a bit damp. tickling his chin. Jack felt him shift and then Stephen opened his eyes and looked around the dark cabin until he reached Jack's worried eyes.

"What happened?" he asked, barely a whisper.

"You fell in the ocean but I saved you my dear" Jack smiled softly,continuing to caress him.

"Really?" Stephen asked drowsy.

"Yes my dear" Jack replied and Stephen remained in silence, just staring at him with half closed eyes.

"My dear, there's something that I almost risked not saying" Jack tried to find the right words to say.

Stephen nodded sleeply,one of his hands went to wrap around Jack's "thanks" he breathed tracing a scar on Jack's chest with the tip of his finger .

"Stephen ... my dear I almost lost you" Jack whispered holding him more tightly.

Steve smiled softly against his chest "I'm here".

Jack nodded . Before he had the chance to think about what he was about to do or,its consequences, he was kissing Stephen ... and, to his surpise, his friend let him. He wanted to say that he was sorry ... he wanted to bring himself to stopping the craziness, but he couldn't. He wouldn't.

It was in an instant that Stephen was under him ... kissing him. what at first was awkard ... kissing and touching him ... after awhile was a burning need to just take what the other was offering ... learn how the other was made.

Stephen was something that he yearned to know and understand, but he was also stepping into new fields ... into new paths that were mysterious to him. He wanted to discover his friend in a different light ... under a different light.

Stephen languidly found Jack's erect cock and started to stroke him deliciously ... Jack leaned to whisper how much he loved what Stephen was doing. How Steve hand's were perfect, driving him crazy as his balls were tense and filling up ... no he didn't want to come ... no yet.

Stephen spread his thighs making more room for Jack's broad body and, for a moment, Jack feared crushing him; but Steve was fast in reassuring him.whispering that he loved the feeling ...to have his Captain covering his more slender body ... and then ... and then it was a blur of emotions and feelings as he started to make love with him ... his cock sliding so easily out and then back into his friend's ass hole. It was a delicious mixture of pain and pleasure that made a carefull dance ... and each push would make Steve moan ... each push would drive Jack toward his orgasm ... and they could call it many names, they could say that it was a sin ... that they were doing something wrong, something unnatural ... they could say many things, but when Jack lowered his gaze toward Stephen. Well ... well everything disappeared and there was only them ... there was only him ... only his Stephen looking at him with half lidded eyes ... mouth wet and red slightly opened and rapid breath ... Stephen that was offering his naked body to Jack's eyes for his pleasure ... and that was meeting his pushes with legs wrapped around the wide waist of his Captain.

Orgasm was something for Stephen purely physical ... a mere reaction to a stimulus ... but what Jack was giving to him was totally different ... it was something more deep and wrenching ... and when Jack leaned against his humid lips and whispered 'Stephen, I love you' ... well, it's intense and blinding ... He was coming.Scratching his friend's shoulders ... searching for something to hold on to ... and Jack's name was on his lips as his love and devotion. No ... no Stephen understood that an orgasm couldn't be classified as a mere reaction to a stimulus.

Jack came, biting hard Stephen' shoulder to quiet his cries as he filled his friend ... he knew that it wasn't too late ... and that Stephen loved him too.

Next morning he was having breakfast when he saw a biscuit being pushed under his nose and over his many charts that he was checking, he raised his sky blue eyes and found Stephen smiling.

"What?" he asked amused.

"You shouldn't drink only a coffee my dear" Stephen told him and Jack nodded smiling.