I had this story in my mind for the longest time and I finally decided to write it. It's a sad one-shot but I really hope you enjoy it.

Thanks for reading!

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Heartless.

It was just another time. Another time where I had done something stupid. I got drunk at a bar and someone ran into me. I was taken to the hospital, but too much damage was done to my body. My liver, my heart, my kidneys, my lungs. Everything was shot down, like a broken light bulb. I was put in a coma, when I was in surgery. But I never woke up. Cuddy fought for me to have transplants, but I was put on the list too late and all of my organs needed to be replaced. It was a lost cause. I did not wish to wake up. I did not want to see all the pain that I caused. In a way I deserve to be like this. I was an ass and a miserable person that destroyed everybody's happiness. I hurt Lisa Cuddy. I turned her hopes up and down so many times that she will never recover. My words made an impact on her, more than the others. Scars heal but they never go away. I lived in the moment, never thinking about the future. I always did things with a risk because that's who I am. I did things dangerously and I took a chance. A chance to end up with nothing. My life didn't matter to anybody that's why I became a doctor to save others. To save them from something they didn't know they had. I might've been harsh but I saved them. Curing them from the pain that they suffered from. I saw families and friends be there for them. My parents were never so I blocked out my friends and my true love. I've learned so much and I became something of myself. But it didn't matter, because my life is over and so are the others that I will never be able to save. I will never be able to save Lisa's heart either. So many people take life for granted. I never thought I was invincible, just lucky.

I was put on bypass. Lisa, as always was right beside me. She was once again holding my hand, sobbing. She had no hope left and she knew I was going to die. I only had a couple hours I could survive with bypass once she woke me up.

"You have to wake him up, Cuddy." Wilson told her.

"No, I don't want to." She said to him, refusing.

"I know why Cuddy, you don't want him to be gone! I get it, but you two have to talk!" Wilson argued.

"If I wake him now then he will be gone forever! If I don't wake him up then that means that he's still with us somehow!" She yelled.

She felt her heart pound against her chest, like a brick trying to smash a wall. She felt her heart shatter in that moment as it smashed against the inside of her body, like a hammer breaking down the same wall.

She put her hands up to her forehead and rubbed her hand across it, feeling her temperature rising. Her veins started to boil, as her anger grew.

"Cuddy, if you are not going to wake him up, then I am!" Wilson told her, trying to make her agree with him.

"NO!" She screeched.

"Please, don't…" She pleaded, as more tears fell on her cheeks, like raindrops pouring down on a cloudy day.

"I can't let him be gone, no… Not like this Wilson… There's probably something we can do. Something to fix him, make him all better! He can't die, he never dies! After every single death attempt, he always got away with it… Why does it have to be this time?" She kept mumbling, mostly to herself, but Wilson was there, listening to my heart broken friend.

"I know. I know." Wilson told her, completely understanding. He didn't want to wake me up either. They didn't want me gone. I was his only true best friend and he couldn't dare lose me. He took her in an embrace; they both hugged each other tight, supporting one another.

"You can finally say that you love him Cuddy, spend the most magical moment of your life with him and just talk to him. I know you always missed talking to him, Cuddy. Now is your chance to solve every 'What If' question you have. You will regret it for the rest of your life if you don't do it, Cuddy."

"I'll be here, always." Wilson told her, trying to reassure her by telling her that she wasn't alone in this and never will be.

She didn't answer right away, but more tears ran down her face, just like each and every single drop was racing to the bottom. It seemed liked her drops of sadness were pulling her down, by the weight of an anchor. She broke down to the ground, and curled up in a ball like she was trying to protect herself from the lost that she was about to have and the hole that was forming in her heart. She cried for what seemed to be an eternity, but she finally got tired and no more tears came out of her. No more water was left to pour out of her. She finally nodded to Wilson, letting him know that she was okay with walking me up. She was going to spend my last few moments of my life with me.

Wilson helped her up and made sure that she was standing on her feet. They both walked together to my room. Cuddy stopped, hesitating. She still refused to believe that I was leaving her for good. She couldn't come to terms with it. She placed a step forward, but still thinking about if she should take one step back. Her heels clapped against the floor, like the ticking sound of a clock that was running out of time. And Cuddy felt that her time with me was running out, so she followed Wilson into my room. She gasped as she saw me. She thought that there were no more tears left in her, but somehow more tears were able to escape and cascade down her cheeks.

I was going to die, but I still never felt happier in my entire life. It seemed that every droplet, was an apology, a mistake, and a moment that happened between the two of them or something that she now regrets.

"I'm going to wake him up now." Wilson said slowly, so Cuddy had time to process the words.

He pressed a button on the machine and spoke again:

"I'll let you talk to him, first."

She nodded, grateful. Wilson walked out of the room and a tear dropped to the floor and a cold wind seemed to have blown it away.

Cuddy took a few steps toward the bed and sat down. She took my hand as I began to wake up. I blinked a couple of times before I could see something other than a bright white light. I knew immediately what happened and knew exactly that Cuddy was going to be there, as she always was. She had mascara stains all over her face and I knew that something wasn't right, she never cries this bad when I'm in these situations. I abruptly look around and fear washes over me as I see the bypass. My life seemed to tumble down in that second. I look back at Cuddy and I stroke her cheek, forcing the last bit of energy that I left in me. I whipped the tear that was coming down.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!" I apologize, knowing how much pain I inflicted on her.

That did it, those words made her break down. She buried her face in my chest as she sobbed uncontrollably. I stroked her hair and pulled her up next to me, so she was now laying on my shoulder.

She wrapped her legs around mine, but still refused to look at me.

"Look at me, please…"I begged as I feel my eyes water up.

She turned her face, slowly as if my eyes were going to turn her into stone.

I cupped her face and kissed her. She closed her eyes as she savored the moment. She responded to it, like nothing else mattered in the world. We broke apart, gasping for air.

"Listen" I whispered to her as she lay on my chest.

"I love you Lisa." I declared to her.

I felt that my heart had stopped as she hit me hard in the chest. She hit me again and again. It was hurting me but she had to lash out on someone and it was understandable that it would be me. She was mad at me and she had every right to be. I gave her pain and there was no reason for her not to return it to me.

"I love you too." She said to me between sobs.

I held her as hard as I could.

"I'm sorry." I told her again, kissing her head. She nodded knowing that I was telling the truth, but the truth can hurt.

This was goodbye and I knew it. Maybe I had stayed alive just to finally tell her how I felt.

I would've liked it in different circumstances, but as I once said, you can always get what you want, but you get what you need.

And I needed to say that I love her.

The end

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I hope you liked it… it was kinda sad, I think… anyway please tell me what you think, I'd much appreciate it! It really means a lot to me if you do. Thanks for reading.