The Angel scrabbled slowly up the bank of the lake. It was dark, nighttime, and the sloppy mud made it hard for Castiel to stand up, or even regain a bit of balance. But that wasn't the only thing he was struggling with. There was pain, major pain, both mental and physical, and it hurt. Really hurt. He whimpered almost silently at the effort it was taking to stand up, and eventually just sat down on the bank. The pain was just to much, it felt like it was if he'd been turned into celestial soup- and he almost had been. But it wasn't just that, it was if something was missing, something that was extremely important. He closed his eyes, and over whelming grief hit him. This wasn't normal- far from normal. He couldn't- he wasn't meant to feel emotions unless... His grace had been ripped out.
The leviathans, they ripped out his grace when they'd burst out of his vessel, anchoring him to earth. The mental pain he'd felt before, he know recognised as emotions, something he'd never felt before. Well, not this strongly anyway. He clutched himself, getting cold in the night, feeling even more vulnerable than he did before. His grace was gone. Something inside of Castiel was happy about that, only a bit, and it made him feel guilty. Guilt. It was a strange emotion, barely an emotion, but it was compelling. Like he needed to stop thinking about not being part of the heaven civil war, and being told that all he was was a mere soldier in Gods plans. Now he was free- he was human. But that wasn't a good thing, oh no, especially now. The conflicting part of him still wanted to be an Angel, to be important, to make things up to Dean.
Dean.
He had to find him- them. Sam and Dean. The Winchesters.
That's who he needed. But he couldn't find them. Not even if he had his wings. It would be a lot easier to be an Angel at this point, but he wasn't anymore. Everything felt impossible, new and challenging, and the thought of having to be on his own was slightly frightening to him. Fear.
Sighing he pushed himself off the ground. Gradually he got himself to his feet, the pain was intense, but he pushed past it, he needed to push past it. Slowly he took a few steps forward, and satisfied with his progress, he took a few more shakey steps. Heading towards the highway was going to be a tough job.