STARTING OVER

Summary: Sakura and Sasuke had it all – love, a beautiful home, two wonderful children. But memories of her troubled childhood would not stay in the past. She found herself recklessly jeopardizing the one thing she valued most – her marriage.

Disclaimer: You all know that I don't own Naruto and I don't think I own any of these characters.

Chapter One

"HAVE YOU ANY idea just how long it is since we last have sex?" Sasuke knew the moment the words were spoken that they were the wrong ones, not just for Sakura's own mood but as an expression of what he himself was truly feeling, but it was too late to recall them. He could see that from Sakura's expression.

"Sex! Sex! Is that all you can think about?" she demanded furiously.

"We're married. We're supposed to have sex," Sasuke told her recklessly, his own anger and sense of ill-usage picking up from hers as he compounded his original folly.

"We're supposed to do an awful lot of things," Sakura couldn't resist pointing out sharply. "Yesterday for instance you were supposed to take the girls out to the park, but instead you were playing golf with your brother."

"Oh, I see, so that's what all this is about is it?" Sasuke challenged her. "No sex, because yesterday I was out having a bit of R and R with my brother."

"Your half-brother actually," Sakura corrected coldly.

Her heart was thudding frantically fast, trying to push ita way through her ribs, her skin. She felt sick, breathless, overwhelmed by the sheer intensity of her own emotions and the effort it was taking for her to control them.

Any minute now, she would start breaking out in a sweat and then…then… But no she wasn't going to allow herself to feel sick never mind to be sick; doing that brought her far too close to shadow of her own mother and the neuroses that drove her. The perpetual cycle of binging and then purging which had dominated her life and the lives of those around her.

They had been in the States for a number of weeks, initially to attend the wedding of one of Sasuke's half- brothers, but also so that Sasuke could spend some time with his large family and introduce his wife and their daughters to them.

Sakura had never wanted to attend the wedding in the first place; right now she was so busy at work that taking a few days off never mind a few weeks made her feel sick with anxiety, and she and Sasuke had quarreled bitterly over her refusal.

The fact she had at very last moment changed her mind, was not out of a desire to please Sasuke, but because of her point-blank refusal to joint the rest of her family in welcoming her father, Hayate, back to his home town. Her total boycott of the family celebration, not just of his return, but also of his marriage to Yuki, had caused the existing rift between Sasuke and herself to deepen into a very dangerous hostile resentment.

Why had she ever deceived herself into thinking that Sasuke was different, she asked herself bitterly now. That he would put her first? He was just like all the others, just like everyone else in her life. Oh, they might pretend they loved her; that she mattered to them, but the truth was…the truth was…

She close her eyes shivering despite the warmth of their hotel room. The pressure inside her skull increased as she fought not to remember the expression in her uncle Kakashi's eyes when he had talked about his twin brother…her father… How could he possibly still love him like that after what her father had done?

Some days ago Kakashi had telephoned her urging her to return home so that she could attend the party being thrown at Fitzburgh Place to celebrate her father's marriage to Lord Astlegh's cousin Yuki, but Sakura had refused.

Sakura couldn't explain to herself or even begin to unravel the complex twisting and contorting of emotions which were causing the increasingly hard to emotions which were causing the increasingly hard to control surges of panic she was experiencing. The knife sharp fear. The horrifying sense of dislocation, of distance from the rest of the human race.

Sasuke was getting out of the bed now, his face tight with anger. Had she really once believed she loved him? It seemed extraordinary to her that she could have done. Blank numbness filled her now whenever she tried to recall the feeling she had once had.

"Naruto has invite us to join his family at the cabin in Colorado. We can ski and-"

"No." Sakura refused without allowing Sasuke to finshed.

As she watched her husband Sakura was filled with a sense of despair and hopelessness. The love which had once tied them together and created their two daughters had gone. They were strangers that Sasuke couldn't even seem to appreciate the kind of back-log of work she was going to have to face once they returned, as it was.

The tension in her head reached a screaming crescendo. All her life she had had to fight against the opposition of her grandfather to her desire to follow in the family tradition and qualify as a solicitor. How he would enjoy crowing over her now if she failed.

"I have to go home. My work…"

"Your work. What about our marriage?"

Their marriage, Distantly Sakura looked at him.

"We don't have a marriage any more, Sasuke," she told him. The sense of relief that filled her as she spoke was so intoxicating that it was almost as heady as drinking champagne. She could feel her spirit lightening, the tension leaving her body.

"What…... what the hell are you saying?" she could hear Sasuke demanding but she was already turning away from him, her decision made.

"I think we should separate," she heard herself telling him.

"Separate…..?"

TO BE CONTINUE.

So…how was the story so far, I hope you've enjoyed reading it and in case if you haven't then please tell meh so that I could make it more intresting for you guys to read.