Disclaimer: NCIS unfortunately does not belong to me, cause if it did, the relationship between Tony and Gibbs would go something more like this.
Warning: This is a slash pairing so if you don't like it, don't read it. Actual slash may occur in a later chapter.
This story occurs after Tony returns from his months away on the Navy ship.
After I found myself back in D.C. I was sitting in the bullpen waiting for...something. What, I didn't know. McGee and Ziva were with me talking, but I wasn't really listening and then Gibbs was there too and he barely looked at me, just stood by and watched the team. It bothered me a bit that my boss didn't seem to care all that much that I was there. Then Abby ran from the elevator yelling my name and wrapped her arms so tightly around my neck I thought I would suffocate. All the while I smiled and hugged her back, just as eager and happy to see her as she was to see me.
For a moment it didn't register that she was still talking but I finally realized she had asked me if I was back for good. Grinning, I wrapped my pinky around hers in a promise and answered somewhere along the lines of, "The director reassigned me to D.C. Effective immediately." I couldn't really remember. As Abby jumped up and down squealing in happiness, I looked to Gibbs to see his reaction. He was staring up towards Director Vance's office with a small smile on his face, barely there but recognizable all the same, for me at least. It lightened his usually stern features. I liked when Gibbs seemed less stressed; he always appeared more approachable that way.
As I watched, Gibbs turned towards me and still with a slight smile gracing his face, reached out a hand for me to shake. My grin spreading even wider, I returned the gesture behind Abby's back, happy to know that the Boss really did appreciate my return. It made me wonder why he hadn't seemed happier earlier.
The feeling I had when our hands touched was electric. His warm palm gripped mine, likely longer than was normally acceptable, and the longer he held my hand, the faster my heart raced. It felt amazing to be back among my team but being around Gibbs again surpassed event that euphoria.
Sometimes I felt like Gibbs was the only solid thing in my life, the only thing that kept me grounded, and the four months I spent on the navy ship without him were hard. It seemed like I was in a never-ending downward spiral, spinning out of control without his guidance.
Before I left, the head slaps kind of bothered me. I was often the only one who got them and I didn't like that he singled me out. Now, I looked forward to them, the minimal sting
that came from them and the feeling of being chastised, knowing he cared. Just being back, knowing he would be there to guide me and scold me when necessary reassured me.
Those months at sea I was miserable and even with fewer distractions there than on land I managed to stray. It rankled me that I couldn't seem to keep it together without him there, but at this point I was just ecstatic to be back, to have my friends surrounding me, to have Gibbs, to be able to correct Ziva's English and call McGee 'probie' again.
I was jolted out of my thoughts when Abby jumped away from me and my arm snapped away from Gibbs's hold. Even as she started explaining everything that went on in my absence my thoughts focused on Gibbs. His eyes had a sparkle in them that was not often there and I liked the familiar feeling of his calloused hands. It made me happy that he wanted me back in D.C. with the team.
I forced myself to recognize that Gibbs was not just a friend or a boss to me. His place in my life was so much more valuable and for months I had been suppressing my feelings for him. The thing was, I knew I had no chance with him and so I forced myself not to dwell on my feelings and to pay attention to Abby.
The next half hour Abby chattered animatedly about anything and everything, hugging me impulsively every so often. McGee and Ziva sometimes interjected with additional commentary. Even Ducky and the autopsy gremlin surfaced and eventually we all headed out for drinks. With Abby on one side and Gibbs on the other at the bar, it was hard to concentrate. She was talking, but just the smell of his cologne drifting towards me would leave me reeling. Every time I would have to force myself to refocus. When he stood to leave he clapped me on the back, said, "better see you in the office tomorrow, DiNozzo," and walked out without a backwards glance. I sighed in longing. Everything I realized I wanted just walked out the door and I did nothing. But there really wasn't much I could do anyway if I wanted to keep my job.
"So what did you miss most Tony?"
"Huh…what?" I said, startled.
"What did you miss most while you were gone?" Her cheery tone was in stark contrast with how I was feeling.
Without really having to think about it I knew, knew that although there were a lot of things I missed, like the team, working on land, and Abby always being there to talk to, but it was Gibbs that I missed most. A blush flooded my cheeks at the thought and I tried to pass it off as the alcohol when Abby noticed. Of course she knew me better than that and hounded me for the answer. She wanted to know so badly she was bouncing in her seat, pigtails swinging. Not even the sight of her could stop my blush and I knew I would have to tell her if I ever wanted her to stop making a scene.
"Fine. I'll tell you," I blurted. Fuck. Now I either have to tell her the truth or figure out something else that's blush-worthy enough, even for me.
Immediately after my announcement she settled on her seat. "So?" Man she was insistent.
"I said I'd tell you, but not now, not here." Oh kill me now. I really don't want to tell her.
Apparently she was so excited she couldn't wait because she grabbed my arm, threw a wad of cash on the bar, and pulled me outside where she called a cab. We ended up at my apartment and once we got in I flopped onto the couch and buried my face in a pillow. After I heard the lock click, Abby's boots clunked into the room and then her weight settled next to me. I kept my face hidden.
"Tony," she urged, "come on. Tell me!" I refused to move. "Oh please Tony. You're just making this harder on yourself. Tell me already!"
"Easy for you to say," I mumbled into the cushion.
"Tony." This time she said it warningly and I knew forceful measures were coming my way if I didn't answer soon. Abby could get really scary when she was denied something she wanted.
Bracing myself, I lifted my face a little and said "Gibbs" before shoving my face back down.
"Oh. Why was that so hard to admit Tony?" She paused and I could practically feel the smirk spread across her face. "Unless…" I pushed my face down harder. Maybe I would suffocate before the embarrassment caught up to me. "Ohmygod Tony! You like him don't you? Like him, like him." By this time she was bouncing up and down again and I groaned. "Tony has the hots for Gibbs! Oh god this is perfect!" Her laughter filled the room and it seemed to be mocking me; I didn't know what to think, or do. Next thing I knew I felt tears flood my eyes. Slowly they leaked out and eventually my shoulders started to shake, the wetness soaking into the cushion under my face.
I wasn't one to cry. Not even when I got shot did I let my pain show through tears. But this time, the heartache I was feeling was overwhelming and I couldn't handle it. When Abby's laughter died down I could hear my sobs echo through the room. It was eerie in the silence and somehow managed to make me cry harder.
"Oh honey. Tony, I'm sorry." Her hands flitted from my head to my back until she settled with wrapping her arms around my whole body and holding me tight. "Tony I wasn't laughing at you. It's just that you've never given the impression you felt that way and I realized you two would be perfect together. Plus…since when have I not teased you for liking someone?" Her voice was soft and reassuring. My breath hitched in my throat. When I didn't even crack a smile or lift my head I guess she reconsidered. "Okay. Apparently your feelings for Gibbs are much more serious than the others and I'm really sorry I hurt you by laughing." It was strange hearing her bubbly voice drop into that soft soothing tone but I knew she was serious.
I mumbled an acceptance to her apology into the pillow before turning my body into hers and resting my head on her shoulder, her arms still wrapped around me. A few more tears escaped my eyes and then I forced myself to pull it together. For the rest of the night we talked and watched movies, drinking a little too, and after the first hour avoided talk of Gibbs altogether.
I talked mostly, with a little prompting and she listened, offering advice with what she could. She told me Gibbs could be receptive to my feelings, reciprocate them even, but I told her I couldn't risk it. He means too much to me to lose over a long-shot possibility.
We fell asleep with her still holding me and when we woke up the next morning, already late for work, Abby was laying almost flat on her back with my head on her stomach. Her fingers were tunneled through my hair and I smiled. Even in sleep she tried to comfort me. The only problem now was getting to work as quickly as possible before Gibbs personally came over here and killed both of us.
Please review and tell me what you think so far! The next chapter is in the process of being written so it should be up soon!
Up next...Gibbs and Tony talk it out