Happiness?? Where!

This story is not for those who dont like it when people write about the truth. You may be like 'What is she talking about?'

I'm talking about things that happen and about peoples' life events that dont always end with "And They Lived Happily Ever After". If your looking for that I suggest you read a more HAPPY story. Bee

Disclaimer: Some these characters are mine. Like the Character that plays Kagome's Mom isn't the same as the one on the show. Also Star the lil kittie is mine. I LUV MY BABE STAR. She's a cutie!

This is in Kagome's POV

Many people like to think that if someone is smiling on the outside then their world is just peachy. Well it's not. I quite frankly have had people come up to me and mock me for having that "everything in my life is fine" attitude. Well that's not what's going on in the inside. I'm battling myself in the inside. I have been fighting me for about 5 years now. I now understand what some people don't. I guess I have a natural gift to dig deep inside someone and find out what they're really like. Or I just spy...just kidding.

Anyway for some years now I have been alone. Yep just me and Star. That's my cat by the way. I found her when I ran away at the age of 10. Yes I ran away at ten but I have a reason. It's simply because I don't want to pretend anymore. Also because if I didn't all my brother's effort would go to waste. I'm sick of walking around like some robot pretending life is fine. I'm done and I'm ending it right now.

That's is what I would've said 6 years ago. That is if I would've ran away when I had the chance. I've been stuck in confinement for over 13 years. It's all because I have a gift. I'm an amazing dancer. My mom figured this out when I was 3. I could watch a video and know the steps right away. Ever since that day I regreted it more and more. Now, I have nothing. While I'm stuck in my room practicing over and over, my brother Bankostu is living the outside world to the fullest. Usually I think that even though he has no skill whatsoever if I'm in confindment then he should be too. But then after I think that I feel guilty. Very guilty. I just want to be free. I just want to be...normal.

My Dad died when I was 5. It was my fault. Even my mom thinks so. I caused it because my stupidness. I couldn't wait until i got home to open my toy. Even though he said wait I couldn't. I made him open it. He died protecting me. He's last words were "I'll be back." But he didn't come back. After that my mom started to make me work harder so I could be forgiven. That's what she always says. But she still hasn't forgiven me. When ever I try to take a break or I lay down I would be punished. What made it worse is that my brother would try to help and my mom would kick him out and then blame me for everything. Eventually she would call his friends house and get him to come back. It was like a never ending cycle.

I'll never forget that one time Bankostu got his arm broke for me. It was when I was ten. He was 12 then. My mom worked me and worked me till I couldn't stand on my own. She screamed in my face about how much of a disappointment I was and she called me all sorts of names. Bankostu walked in and tried to calm mother down but it didn't work. She kicked me in my face and ribs and continued to yell at me. Finally Bankostu, who was practically her size, pinned her on the wall and told me to leave the house. I sat there and watched. She kicked and screamed and tossed her head back and forth until her dark, black eyes looked at me. She struggled to get up on all fours and lunged at me with Bankostu still on her back. I darted under her and ran to the door. As I looked back I could see she was out Bankostu grasp and was running towards me.I dashed down the stairs and when I got halfway look back to see my brother in front of the stairs preventing my mother of passing by.

"If you don't move I'll kill you." She screamed.

As I approached the the door I heard a shriek and turned around. Hurling down the stairs was my brother. I heard a loud snap and knew he wasn't ok. I ran back to him to see his arm twisted.

"Run Kagome!" He yelled. But I couldn't. I had to stay. So I did. And that basically became the last day of me living.

5 years later and I'm here again. Bankotsu has left to go with friends on a class trip so that leaves me here by myself to deal with mother's rage. She wnats to sprain my wrist and crack a rib. Oh did I mention that now we have a doctor that comes to the house because at the hospital they kept asking questions and had an investigator come check the house. My mom went back to her old self for that day and the next but right after the second day she became "The Mother" again. That's what me and Bankotsu call her.

I practice and practice but I'll never be any good. The mother doesn't even notice me anymore. Well thats probably because she can't even see me. Yep thats right. I'm dead. I've been dead for 2 years. I died on that night Bankotsu tried to save me. She tortured me until it was too much. Sorry I'm a little late telling you. Hehe I guess it slipped my mind. But don't cry. Well...if your Bankotsu you can cry if you want. But now I'm free I guess. i can dance when I want and be what I want. I guess I did find a piece of happiness.

Ok I guess it was somewhat a happy ending.Bee