Doc Martin is owned by Buffalo Pictures. I own nothing.
Date Night
Louisa was excited. Martin was such a creature of habit normally, and attached to his own schedule, which he did not like to have disrupted. But in his birthday "gift" to her (a love letter!), he suggested that the two of them needed to spend more scheduled time alone, without their son, on a date of all things. It was a small step in some ways, a huge one in others.
First of all, he had thought of it and planned everything himself. It was downright romantic. In fact, it left her with a quiver of anticipation … what could he possibly have planned that just involved the two of them. Since they had gotten back together, immediately following the birth of their wonderful boy, their lives had revolved around Philip. Of course, they had had to adjust quickly to each other, to the enormous changes in their lives. Since it had impacted both of them so significantly, neither really had the upper hand, but each was well out of their comfort zone for a while during the adjustment period. Then they settled into being parents, and going back to work, and being involved in the village goings on to the extent that Louisa wished, since Martin was less than interested in general involvement.
Martin had given this evening some thought. While he could hardly be accused of being a romantic, he was acutely aware, in spending time with Louisa day in and day out, that he had someone really special in his life. As he began to think back to his parents' marriage and their disastrous relationships with each other and him, he decided that while he didn't exactly understand what makes a relationship work, he decidedly knew what didn't make one work. As he analyzed the situation from multiple angles, he came to the conclusion that two important ingredients to a successful relationship involved two people who loved each other and their ability to spend time together undistracted by outside interruptions.
And that was the rub. He and Louisa were practically public figures in their small village. People felt no compunction about interrupting their private time, even when he wasn't on call. So he decided to take matters into his own hands and institute a Date Night Policy, which would set aside designated times for recreation or whatever they wished to do. He hoped it would take on a life of its own. Truthfully, although they slept together each night, there was always another person in the house, and they rarely had truly private, alone time. He thought it would add a dimension to their lives.
Martin was occasionally worried, from time to time, that Louisa might "wake up" and realize she'd made a mistake in agreeing to marry him shortly after Philip's birth. He was as attracted to her as he ever was … he still enjoyed studying her when she wasn't looking. He loved the way she looked. When she smiled, her eyes would light up and his heart would overflow with love all over again. Although he chalked it up to pheromones, the truth was, he had never felt this way about anyone and couldn't imagine feeling this way about anyone else. He didn't want to risk losing her.
The other thing he had discovered in living with Louisa was that she was fun, when he allowed himself to relax and "go with the flow" as Bert would say. She could find, and express, joy in such simple things – seeing dolphins in the harbor, trying to surf to prove a point (about not being too old to try it), even Philip's playing with his food, knowing that a full-on cleanup must logically follow. She was a touchstone for him to something he had not enjoyed much of in his life – pure joy and enthusiasm about whatever she was engaged in. And she was like that with him too in every respect.
While he generally hated change, he had to accept the fact that their lives were filled now with constant change. They had Philip to mind and care for (and love and play with), and they had to look out for each other. They had gone from lives where they were completely alone after hours, to ones where they were never alone. But the reason they were attracted to each other … well who could say. Martin had always been attracted to Louisa. Oddly enough and despite the obvious challenges with Martin's gruff exterior, Louisa was attracted to him too. She loved knowing a side of him that almost no one else knew. She was delighted at how accommodating he became when they all moved in together following Philip's birth.
Louisa's regard for Martin began with that ridiculous incident when they first met. Its very absurdity elevated it in her mind later on. Martin's intention had been pure – he was focused on her health, a good sign for a GP in a small village. Later, the fact that he didn't seem overly interested in getting to know her became increasingly irresistible. Every other eligible man in the village had tried at one time or another to attract her interest. While she had always been open to the possibilities, in the end, they didn't offer the kind of stimulation or challenge that pushed any of her buttons on a more long term basis.
Martin was different. For one, he was a bit older than her. Light years older in terms of being fixed in his habits and ways. But there were good points to him. He was meticulous and ordered in everything he did. He was observant in trying to connect dots (sometimes dots that weren't there to be connected, but that's another story) when he was solving medical mysteries. He was a rock of integrity when it came to his patients – researching whatever the illness or cause was, not divulging private details in idle gossip, even to her. He was painfully consistent and predictable. He was formal and always wore a suit, although to be fair, he seemed to be completely comfortable in a suit.
She couldn't help feeling that beneath that iron exterior, a passionate and interesting man was smoldering beneath. At least, that's what she had hoped. She had had glimpses of that passion the few times he slipped up – and confessed his love of her during a wine-induced haze, or responded to her kissing him in the taxi following the Peter Cronk incident. His penchant for bottling things up and then kind of releasing with a great deal of energy … witness his marriage proposal … well, she felt there was hope for him. She was drawn to his intensity.
He was proving to be a capable and even exceptional father. His medical knowledge and skill gave him reason to study the whole "how the baby should progress" and other concerns around Philip. As he learned to feed, change, watch and engage Philip, even he succumbed to the charm of the child who favored both of his parents. Philip looked just like Martin, blond and intense blue eyes when he appeared to be studying something. But he had his mother's love of laughing and being around other people, once he felt comfortable with them. He was curious and studied everything in his little universe. Martin couldn't help falling in love with him. Philip really was proof of the love that he and Louisa had shared when he was conceived – in another lifetime, it seemed.
So, back to their first Date Night. They were going to a concert. Martin wanted to erase the disaster that had befallen them post-concert in which Holly had played. In Truro, the local symphony was to play a program of Debussy and Mozart. Martin planned for them to have an early dinner, and attend the symphony. In confronting his hemophobia, he had learned that facing his fears and re-contextualizing them reduced their sting. It had always bothered him that attending that silly charity concert with Louisa had ended so disastrously. He wanted to take her to a proper concert, and have the right outcome so they could share something he really did enjoy – classical music. He wasn't a big fan of Debussy but he loved Mozart and he wanted to share that with Louisa. Plus, he had a few things in mind for afterwards.
He had decided that since it was a special occasion, they would stay the night at the best hotel in Truro. It was within walking distance to the symphony hall, and they could dine at the very good restaurant in the hotel. Louisa was impressed that Martin had gone to so much trouble. It was unexpected but when she thought about it, once he decided to do something, he always did it first rate and well researched.
They really had not had much time alone since getting back together, because they always had little Philip with them. Although they now slept in the same bed every night, they did have to be somewhat restrained, mindful of the child sleeping in the next room. So the prospect of being privately alone with a whole evening stretching out before them was truly a luxury. In their hotel room, Louisa pulled Martin to her, slipped her arms inside his jacket and around him and kissed him passionately.
"Thank you for planning this, Martin, and for making me feel so special." She looked up at him, and kissed him again. This was turning out exactly the way he wanted, he thought. "You deserve this and more. I'm sorry I don't think of these things as often as I should. I think that's why I want to set aside time for us. It looks like maybe I did something right for once?" Louisa laughed, "well, we're barely into our first date. But yes, to answer your question, you are off to a great start. I'm glad you thought of this. I didn't realize how much we need to recharge our "couple" batteries. Thank you for thinking of us this way. I love it and I love you."
They dressed for dinner and walked downstairs. The hotel's dining room had a wonderful view of the city. Louisa had a glass of white wine, getting in the mood for whatever was in store. Then they walked to the symphony hall, hand in hand. The music was quite good … acceptable by Martin's standards and even Louisa enjoyed it.
When the program was over, they held hands and walked slowly back to the hotel. In their room, oddly alone without little Philip, they hardly knew what to do … Then Martin did something unexpected: he suggested that they take advantage of their private Jacuzzi. He ran the water, taking advantage of the bath salts provided by the hotel, and filled the extra large tub with hot water. Louisa was stunned but excited by the prospect of sharing the Jacuzzi with Martin. This was a luxury they could not enjoy at home, since he was much too large to share their regular sized tub. The fact that they'd never shared a bath like this was intoxicating in anticipation, and even better in reality. The possibilities for touching and exploring each other, and enjoying massaging each other … well, Date Night was officially a hit with both of them. Martin had instituted a practice they would continue in one way or another for the rest of their lives.
Moreover, the Jacuzzi was such a hit, that they each independently wondered whether they ought to install one at home. Well, it was a luxury, but its therapeutic value might outweigh the cost over time? This was exactly the sort of issue Martin liked to study. The health of his family – including their sense of well being – was undeniably something for which he felt responsible, and could not be ignored. So he explored the possibility of cost, installation, to determine whether it made sense.
On their next official Date Night, Louisa suggested that they go have a quiet dinner in town, just the two of them, and then go for a walk along the cliffs afterward. The view of the ocean on a moonlit night was always stunning. Plus, why go anywhere else when they lived amidst such natural beauty? It was one of the reasons she had returned to Cornwall when she was pregnant – she loved the sea and the surroundings in Portwenn.
They had an early dinner at the Crab. No reason not to respect Martin's carbohydrate curfew, and the relatively early dinner hour meant that fewer villagers were there to gawk at them or interrupt their dinner with meaningless chat. Louisa decided that they needed to introduce new topics of conversation, so that Martin would not get bored with her. Because, at home, nearly every conversation was about their son and his latest antics or their work (to the extent they had to vent), Louisa had lately begun to think that they needed to add depth (or fun … or both) to their conversations.
She never really understood why Martin was so attracted to her, since he rarely verbalized it, and even his occasional love letters were briefer than she would like. Although she was the head of Portwenn Primary, she didn't really feel like she was Martin's intellectual equal. He was an esteemed surgeon prior to coming to the village. As the GP, his position carried a certain amount of status within the community. The more time she spent with him, the more she realized what a good man he was, and how lucky she was to be with him, whatever his reasons.
Louisa also knew that what they had together, while not completely explainable, was precious. After Martin had planned such a wonderful first date in the newly instituted Date Night Policy, she wanted to add her own spin on it. She didn't feel they had to spend a fortune on symphony, dinner, hotel, although those things were lovely for special occasions. For Date Night to be a sustainable, ongoing regularity, she thought the connections they needed to make were as much intellectual as physical. There was no doubt on the physical side they were highly compatible and attracted to each other. Intellectually, they often seemed to be worlds apart.
Hence the need for structured conversation, based on a list of topics today, but hopefully in the future, to flow forth naturally? Well, one could always hope, she thought.
Martin, I think we should have an honest conversation about things that just involve us. Much as I love our son, I don't want to be one of those mothers who neglects her husband and takes him for granted. So I want you to tell me: what are some things I could do, or we could do together, that would make your life better? The ground rules for this conversation are: nothing is off limits and it's really about us. Now, I may or may not agree to do whatever it is, but I won't know until I ask you or you tell me, what those things might be. It can be something as ordinary as you want, I don't know, to try some new recipes or foods or something. Or it could be something sexual – a new position, or some new foreplay. Actually, I like that last idea, and whether we do anything else, let's think about that one, shall we? I have a few ideas myself that I'd like to try. Maybe later we can explore that together. So, what do you think? Are you willing to try that?
Martin shifted uncomfortably in his chair. Truthfully, he loved the idea of trying a few new positions in bed, so that made him uncomfortable to be discussing it out in the open in the village. But there were no people within earshot, so it probably wasn't going to be an immediate topic of gossip. He looked into Louisa's questioning eyes and tried to articulate a decent response.
Well, I, uh, do like your suggestion of new things in bed and I think the appropriate place to discuss them is in the privacy of our bedroom, not here in public. But no toys – I'm not really into that sort of thing. He did suppress a small smile, which she saw, as he choked out that bit of a response.
In regards to us and things we could do to make our lives better, he continued, what brought this on? I've been thinking things have been going really well and honestly, I'm trying not to rock the boat or step in it or whatever at the moment. I'm feeling pretty good about this whole Date Night thing, hoping that would start Louisa on a long explanation and he wouldn't have to talk for a while.
She too smiled at his first response about the bedroom and toys (where did that comment come from?) but she wasn't going to be put off her original line of inquiry so easily. After all, the only way to learn more about what he kept so well protected in his rather large head was to pry it out. The process might not be overly pretty.
Well, ok, in the spirit of fairness, since I'm the one springing this line of questioning upon you, I'll go first by way of example, and pretend that you have asked me the same question. In a way, I suppose you've given me a clue, by wanting to have Date Night so we could spend more private time together. My question is: to do what? What would you like to do, or say, that we don't already do? We need to keep things fresh between us, so you won't fall out of love with me because I'm not intellectually stimulating. I am concerned sometimes that you're going to wake up one day and wish you'd gone back to London to return to your former, chosen profession, surgery. By your own words, you were really good at it, and I don't want to hold you back. It's why I didn't try to keep you here when I was pregnant and you decided to leave … I thought someday you might resent me and our son for holding you back.
Martin reached across the table to take her hand in his. Louisa, there's no where else I'd rather be, than with you and Philip. My job in London was really interesting, but my job here is important too. And although I find the villagers to be a mixed lot at best, I do see the value of being a good GP and keeping people as healthy as they'll let me. Work aside, however, and you must know that you and Philip have made my life all the better – on a daily basis. Even this … this having to put how I feel in words. Well, I feel awkward doing it, no question, but I hope that someday, I'll have an easier time telling you how much I love you and love being with you.
Louisa squeezed his hand. She hadn't meant for this to be a conversation about love, but when she thought about it, it was the thing that drew them together. So, should we take up, I don't know, surfing or gardening as something we can do together? Should we take on a new project?
Look, I don't think we need a project or anything else to make our lives any fuller than they are right now. Let's concentrate on raising our son for the moment.
Do you think we should try to have another child? I'm not getting any younger and if we're even going to consider it, we ought to do so soon, just given our ages, as well as we wouldn't want to have the children be too far apart agewise, if they're going to be good friends.
Where did that come from? Martin asked. I like the way we are at the moment. Do you really think it's wise at your age to have another child?
I'm not exactly a geriatric and neither are you, Louisa retorted. But there are limits to how long we should wait if we're even considering it.
Well, we're really not, are we? I mean, Philip's quite wonderful, but don't you think I'd muck it up at some point? I mean, one child is keeping us quite busy. I would imagine two would have us bodmin, to use a local expression. Besides, with your job and all the things you do, do you really think you want another child to raise? Martin asked.
I wouldn't be raising our children by myself, would I? So, yes, I can imagine us having another child. From a health and welfare perspective, I think it would be good for Philip to have a brother or a sister who could be his lifelong friend. Neither you nor I have had brothers or sisters and frankly, our lives may have turned out differently if we had. Let's face it, Philip's a wonderful child, and despite our lack of knowing we were creating a new life when we did it, I'd love for us to do it again. Think about it, Martin, that's all I'm asking. It's not a decision we should make lightly. We need to think about whether we want another child.
Do you want another child?
Yes, I think I do, but I don't want to "accidentally" become pregnant. As I said, I'd rather be fully intentional about it and honest and open with you about it.
I'd want to be fully involved in monitoring your health during pregnancy, this time. That would include proper diet, exercise, and going with you to the consultants for your antenatal visits. That's not really negotiable … Martin was already embracing the whole prospect before having said yes.
You do know, the odds of getting pregnant and successfully carrying to term at your age are not as good as they once were. I don't want you to be disappointed if you can't, well, we can't get you pregnant.
I recognize there's an age thing here, as well as a health issue. But I am healthy and I'm not getting any younger. So if we're going to try for another we should do it sooner rather than later, don't you think?