A/N: Warning! Contains movie spoilers! If you do not wish to read movie spoilers, get out now. I'll wait.
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Okay, so when I saw that hilariously awful movie, and she's got pepper spray outside that ballet studio, me and my friend died laughing and decided that I should one-shot it. TheDying
Disclaimer: This stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer and the *grimace* lovely people at Summit or whatever. I just decided to make fun of it.
I stood outsider the studio, the one that James had sent me to, its familiar arches reminding me of old days, of my mother. I looked down, fighting the despair that threatened to take me. Something green caught my eye. I pulled out of my pocket the pepper spray that Charlie had given me. Would pepper spray be enough to incapacitate a vampire? It didn't seem likely, but I kept it at the ready.
My mother's voice rang out in the silence. "Bella? Bella? Where are you?" I ran in the direction of her voice, weapon still in hand. I rounded a corner and was face-to-face with...
A television. My mother and I were on the screen. It was a home movie of my mother and I in this very room. James had tricked me.
"You were quite a precocious child, weren't you?" he purred from behind me. I turned. "I'm going to make a little video of this moment. I've won again." He took a step towards me.
As fast as I could, I whipped my hand up and sprayed. Please let this be facing the right way, I thought to myself in the split second before I pushed the button. A stream of mist shot out of the green can, landing directly in James' face. I wasn't prepared for his reaction.
"IT TICKLES!" James dropped the camera and fell on the floor, laughing. I stood wide-eyed watching him, knowing that he would only be down for a moment, and would then kill me. I was too shocked to even take a step.
And Edward was there, alone. He burst into the room, his eyes black fire. He had outrun the others, trying desperately to save me. He saw us there and stopped short.
"Edward!" I recovered and threw myself at him.
"Bella. You're alright." His arms wrapped around my waist. "How did you do that?" He gestured to James, still writhing on the floor.
"Pepper spray. I guess it works on vampires," I replied, holding up the can. He looked at me.
Suddenly we were both laughing. Emmett, Carlisle, Alice, and Jasper burst into the room then, Alice already grinning.
"Holy shit!" Emmett exclaimed, spotting James, Edward and I, on the ground laughing. "What did you do?" I could only hold up the green can in my laughter. Emmett held up the half-empty can of pepper spray in wonder, and Alice began to laugh, and Edward, who had been calming down, started laughing again.
Emmett held up the can and pressed the button. Little did he know that the hole was pointed the wrong way, right into his face.
"AAAAAHHHRRRGGGG! IT TICKLES!"
A/N That was short. Oh well. Hope you liked. And if I get one review that says that the movie was great and I should just leave, I will reach through the Internet and slap you. -TheDying