If you are ready…if you are prepared
By SparkleStar
Disclaimer
I do not own Snape, Voldemort, Dumbledore, ect, ect, ect—They're property of J.K Rowling, yada, yada, yada…I just enjoy writing about them! Also this is my first fan fic so um….yeah. Don't read this if you haven't finished book 4 yet! It has stuff from it in here!
"Severus" said Dumbledore, turning to Snape. "You know what I must ask you to do. If you are ready...if you are prepared..."
The words that had just been spoken minutes ago echoed in Snape's mind over and over again. Yes, he knew what he had to do...but was he ready? He had said he was. But was he really? Alone now in the hallway, Snape could still hear muffled voices of conversation going on in the hospital wing. He moved out of the light coming through the window on the other side of the hall and then, after making sure no one was in sight, pulled his sleeve up to examine the Dark Mark once more. Snape closed his eyes in agony, remembering the pain he had felt only an hour ago. His fingers ran over the Mark, and began trying to rub away some of the painful memories that belonged to it. If only there was some curse, some way to get rid of it forever, he thought. Hearing someone down hall, Snape quickly pulled down his sleeve and collected himself. He began striding the other way. If anyone had seen him, they would have noticed he was breathing quicker and looked much paler then usual. Dumbledore's words rang clear in his head again as Snape began walking faster. He wanted to get away. Away from the reality that his former master was back. Away from what he had to do. He rounded the end of the hall, and began down the steps to his office. Still lost in thought, Snape tripped down the last two stairs and steadied himself on the railing. He knew that he was slowly breaking down at the thought of going back. Once he reached his office, Snape slammed the door, sat in his chair and put his head in his hands.
"Thirteen years...thirteen years of freedom" he whispered painfully while shaking his head "Why now...why now..?"
He glanced down only to see his old copy of 'Curses and Dark Arts' on his desk. He stroked the cover of the book gently, remembering the days he spend pouring over the book, memorizing every spell, charm, and curse the book had. Snape remembered when he used to embrace the Dark Arts, embrace Voldemort and his ways. He had thought the day he had been chosen as a Death Eater would be the proudest day of his life. Opening the book, waves of memories came back: his screaming as the Voldemort burned the Mark into his arm, the taunting red eyes of his former master, and most of all, the horrible things he had to do. Thirteen years later, he realized that it was the worst thing that could have ever happened to him. Snape stood up and slammed the book shut.
"If you are ready…if you are prepared…" the words repeated themselves again
Snape was willing to do this or die trying, and he knew that his former master wasn't forgiving. Opening his office door with new determination, he strode down the hall and out of Hogwarts. Once he reached the courtyard, he walked outside the heavy gates of Hogwarts, checking for wandering students before he began preparing himself. Snape took a deep breath and closed his eyes.
"If you are ready….."
With the words echoing in his brain, Snape disapparated. The scenery of the peaceful courtyard whirled away in front of him as he felt himself spinning. Snape knew his plan; he knew what he had to do. As he apparated, a new scene took place. A graveyard was the setting with familiar people standing among the graves in the background. The sight in front of him, though, was the most terrifying he had ever seen. Voldemort. His former master stood leaning lazily against a tombstone as if expecting Snape to appear. Before he had a chance to say anything, Snape instantly hit the ground began groveling.
"Master! Master!" Snape cried, begging on the ground "Please, Master! I couldn't! I-"
"Silence!" Voldemort shouted.
Snape looked up at his old master for the first time in thirteen years. The familiar white face, the tall thin frame, and most of all, the red unforgiving eyes. A hiss beside him tore his eyes away from Voldemort. Nagini, Voldemort's snake, danced at her masters heels, as if waiting to strike. Behind the snake and its owner, the Death Eaters stood silently surveying the scene. Snape began to recognize some of them. Malfoy, Avery, Macnair, Crabbe, Goyle, Nott, Wormtail, the names formed a list in his head. Once Snape's old friends, now his secret enemies. But no one could know, no one could find out about his true intentions. They had to think that he was really one of them.
"Severus…" Voldemort spoke again "What brings you here so late tonight?" He shook his head in mock confusion "Are you early for your own death? I would have thought a sensible wizard like you would have known when to hide!"
Voldemort laughed his horrible awful high-pitched laugh. Snape still remained on the ground, waiting for whatever his old master had planned next. Then as if a chill had come over him, Voldemort's face turned to stone
"You were mine," Voldemort began quietly "Until you began to question where your loyalties remained. In thirteen years, THIRTEEN YEARS" his voice got louder "You never once thought about me. You let the others do all the work. You lied and cheated your way out of Azkaban, out of guilt altogether, and went to work for Dumbledore. For DUMBLEDORE!" Voldemort was screaming now and his eyes looked like they were lit on fire "Do you really think that I'm that merciful!" He smiled another cruel thin-lipped smile, and then nonchalantly pointed his wand at Snape.
"Crucio!"
Before Snape even had a chance to react, he was screaming in pain. He writhed on the ground for a few minutes in agony before Voldemort had decided he had his fill.
"Lord Voldemort does not forgive the unforgivable…" Snape's former master said quietly as he watched the man lying on the ground. "Lord Voldemort is not merciful…he is not kind…"
Snape shut his eyes tightly, bracing himself for what was next.
"Crucio." Voldemort said again, lazily. He smiled at the sight before him.
Snape wanted to die. He had seen both wizards and muggles tortured for hours, even days by the Cruciatus cruse alone. The pain became worse as he violently shook on the ground. Snape screamed at the agony that pierced him in ways he hadn't felt in thirteen years.
Then, all of a sudden, it stopped.
Snape lay gasping for breath on the soft ground, hoping that Voldemort would have had his fill of pain and torture for one day. First Potter, Snape thought, and now me. Does he ever tire of watching people suffer?
Voldemort raised his wand again.
Please…Snape begged silently…please…have mercy
"Please!" Snape cried, "…I can be valuable to you! If you kill me…you will never know what I can do…"
"You betray me Severus. You lie…" Voldemort convicted "Your death will be painful, Severus…. for you have caused much pain to me."
"Crucio!"
Snape curled up, trying to get away from the pain. Why did he have to say he was ready? Why did he have to say he was prepared to endure this? Was it worth it? Would Dumbledore's plan really work? Or would he die here tonight, trying to do the right thing? Questions whirled in his head as everything around him started spinning. Snape felt sick. He couldn't feel the torture anymore because his whole body was numb.
"Get up, Severus." a voice commanded down to him a few minutes later. Snape didn't even realize that the Voldemort had stopped. He didn't move…he couldn't move. Every bone in his body ached in ways he thought they could never ache. He sputtered once, trying to talk…. trying to make Voldemort understand. Snape slowly uncurled himself, shaking, and managed to get to his knees before Voldemort.
The cruel red eyes seemed to pierce the air as Voldemort looked down at Snape. Suddenly, his thin lips curled upward in a sick smile.
"You know Lord Voldemort does not forgive, Severus" His face grew cold "You know he is not merciful--you owe great debt to me" he paused, considering the options "You shall live as my spy. You will find out everything you can about that mudblood-loving fool Dumbledore. You shall also rejoin your place as a Death Eater and my servant."
"Thank you, master…." Snape croaked and began kissing the hem of his robes "You are merciful beyond imagination. Thank you…. thank you…thank you…." He kept on murmuring.
Snape was alive. He had done it: the impossible, the unimaginable. He had been ready, he had been prepared. The step he had taken tonight could be a huge leap for the final end of Voldemort
With Snape still kissing his masters robes, Voldemort turned around to the Death Eaters.
"So…one more has returned loyal…my mistake to think he was on the wrong side…" he began "Yet others foolishly stay away…. Lord Voldemort knows what they are up to…. Lord Voldemort knows what they do…but for now, my loyal servants…. our time tonight has ended…. Tell no one of my existence yet…. let the rumor spread like wildfire. Fear will take over first and then, when the time is right, we will reveal ourselves…"
Voldemort fired off the emerald green Dark Mark into the sky as a final triumphant symbol as the Death Eaters swarmed around Lord Voldemort kissing his robes and shouting his praises. All at once, on their masters signal, the Death Eaters, including Snape, disapparated.
The graveyard, the Death Eaters, and most of all, Lord Voldemort swirled away as Snape disapparated. The second he hit the ground just outside the courtyard back at Hogwarts, he breathed a sigh of relief. He was alive, and in one piece.
"How did it go Severus?" A familiar voice asked with concern.
The traitorous Death Eater turned around to see the very serious face of Albus Dumbledore standing, waiting for him.
"He believes I am loyal to return and endure pain by him…." Snape paused "I am his servant once more." he closed his eyes agony, remembering what he had to go through.
Dumbledore reached out to him and clasped one of his shoulders "You need rest." He began softly "I thank you for doing what was right, although not easy. I thank you also for risking your life once more for our cause."
Snape nodded, not being able to find anything to say. Dumbledore patted his shoulder and then went on his way. Severus Snape tiredly stumbled into the castle and down to his sleeping chambers. He changed his robes quickly, and then crawled into bed. What a night it had been, he though, sighing. The conversation with Dumbledore only hours earlier replayed in his head as he began to fall asleep.
"Severus" said Dumbledore, turning to Snape. "you know what I must ask you to do. If you are ready...if you are prepared..."
Snape was ready, he was prepared for whatever tasks Voldemort held before him to test his loyalty. But for tonight, on that thought, he closed his eyes, and drifted off into a peaceful, sound sleep.
Authors Note
I hope you guys enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing this. I hope its not rushed—I just had to get this out before…..yeah. Anyways! Thanks for reading!
-SparkleStar-