CHUCK NORRIS IN THE WIZARDING WORLD
Chuck Norris once defeated Voldemort at duel with Ron's broken wand.
When Hermione doesn't know the answer, she asks Chuck Norris.
The Death Eaters escaped Azkaban because they found out Chuck Norris would soon be imprisoned there.
Chuck Norris won the Triwizard Tournament by simply roundhouse kicking all the obstacles.
Once Filch caught Chuck Norris sneaking out of his bedroom at night…Filch was lucky to leave with a warning.
If you curse Chuck Norris, your wand will bleed.
When Chuck Norris looks at the Basilisk, the Basilisk turns to stone.
Chuck Norris cheated on his History of Magic test…with a calculator!
Some expert wizards can walk on air…Chuck Norris can fly through land!
Chuck Norris and Voldemort once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to have his nose cut.
Azkaban doesn't keep wizard society safe from criminals. It keeps criminals safe from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris graduated from Hogwarts at the age of 18. Seconds.
Chuck Norris writes with the parchment on a feather.
Chuck Norris is the reason Sirius is hiding.
When Voldemort goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once got bitten by Nagini. After three days of pain and agony, Nagini died.
Chuck Norris can tell if a dark magic detector does dark magic.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop Harry's parents' assassination. As Voldemort cast his spell, Chuck Norris deflected the spell with his beard. Harry's parents died out of sheer amazement.
Beauxbatons was once next to Hogwarts until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it all the way to France.
After much debate, J.K. Rowling decided to allow Bellatrix to torture Hermione rather than the alternative of having Chuck Norris do it. It was more "humane".
LORD VOLDEMORT, MASTER OF MAGICAL ROUNDHOUSE KICKS
Fear of spiders is called arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is called chlaustrophobia, fear of Lord Voldemort is called logic.
Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Voldemort stories.
There used to be a street named after Lord Voldemort, but it was changed because nobody crosses Lord Voldemort and lives.
Some people say that the most devastating weapon known to Muggles was the atomic bomb. Somewhere, Lord Voldemort is still laughing…
Death once had a near-Voldemort experience.
There is no such thing as Voldemort opposers…just people with short lifes.
Voldemort does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Voldemort goes killing.
The chief export of Lord Voldemort is death.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Voldemort out. It failed miserably.
Lord Voldemort sleeps with a night light. Not because Lord Voldemort is afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of Lord Voldemort.
If you want a list of the Dark Lord's enemies, just check the extinct wizarding families list.
Voldemort invented a language that incorporates dark magic and powerful curses. So the next time Voldemort's torturing you to death, don't be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.
The Dark Lord got a perfect score on his OWLS simply by writing „Voldemort" for every answer. Why? Because Voldemort is never wrong!