Newsflash!
By, Elaina
A/N: I was feeling rather mad at Rita Skeeter, so I wrote this. Pretend it's a newspaper article, OK?
Resignation of Gossip Columnist Shocks Wizarding World!!!
Daily Prophet Headquarters- At a Special, Daily Prophet press conference yesterday, it was announced that Rita Skeeter will be retiring from the writing profession. Ms. Skeeter has stated that she will be moving to the Dark Swamps of, Yukozlibostan, a small, wizarding establishment somewhere in the north, which is known to be a haven for Beetles. Why she plans to move there, nobody can guess.
Ms. Skeeter is a freelance writer who has submitted several controversial articles to various newspapers and magazines over the past several years. Though most of the population enjoys reading her spicy, gossip-ridden pieces (she rarely writes about current events), not everybody will be so sad to see her go. In fact, many of her subjects have placed claims that much of her writing is untruthful, and made up to boost her popularity, or ruin the people that are featured.
Harry Potter, know to many because of his numerous encounters with You-Know-Who, states: "That woman –if that's what you can call her-has printed all sorts of lies about my friends and me. She just wants to make herself popular, and have a good story. She has a Quick Quotes Quill that twists everything you say into a bunch of dramatic rubbish. Everybody gave me a real hard time this year, because of what she wrote about me."
Professor Dumbledore, headmaster of Hogwarts said much along the same line: "I distinctly remember telling Ms. Skeeter-and I may be an decrepit, old bat, but my memory is quite sharp-that she was to leave the grounds several times, but I still saw many false articles being printed about my students."
Ms. Skeeter has denied these accusations.
When asked, Hermione Granger, victim of one of the more ugly articles, said (and rather smugly, too) that she had a fairly good idea why Ms. Skeeter was moving toYukozlibostan, and while many people suspect that she may continue later, young miss Granger thinks that she is hanging up her quill for good. "I think that woman has had quite a scare, enough of one to keep her quiet." The staff belives Miss Granger is holding a grudge.
-The Associated Wizarding Press