~Nature's Games~
A/N- Brittana fan fic.
Set in high school in Glee club.
Santana is going through difficulties understanding who she is. It starts of like any normal fan fic, but it will get better in later chapters.
I don't own Glee. (But if I did, it would be one big Brittana kingdom, just saying)
If a girl smiles on cue, does it mean she's happy? If a teenager walks with her head held high, does it mean she's confident? If a young Latina falls in love with her best friend, does that make her a freak? When Santana Lopez cries herself to sleep at night, why doesn't she have a shoulder to cry on?
Questions don't always mean answers. Being popular doesn't always come with solutions. Falling in love is never easy.
Santana walked into the choir room at school, she scanned the room. She scoffed at Rachel Berry as she looked over her show-tune of choice. She rolled her eyes as Puck made eyes at the white rhino, formally known as Lauren Zizes. She lowered her head, held back her tears and continued walking as she witnessed the object of her desires link fingers with the boy she had lovingly named, Wheels, others know him as Artie.
"Hey, San!" A young blonde girl waved at the Latina, "Come sit!"
Santana smiled but shook her head. She couldn't take it. She'd spent the last nine years of her life pretending to be Brittany's best friend. She'd spent so long wondering why she wanted to do nothing more than to kiss Brittany. In the end, Santana gave up pretending, she gave up wondering. And as a consequence, she gave up Brittany. Something Brittany was oblivious to.
"Hey kids!" Mr. Schue bounced into the choir room, sporting his signature piece of clothing; a vest.
A cluster of "hey"'s and "Sup"'s echoed around the choir room as the kids turned in their seats, getting ready to begin Glee club and hear this week's assignment.
"So, guys!" Mr. Schue rubbed his hands together and took in the sight of the teenagers sat in front of him, "Sing about yourself!"
"Why?" Rachel Berry asked, obviously confused.
"I just think that we need a little confidence boost, we need to remind ourselves of how great we are." Mr. Schue shrugged.
"Does it need to be a pop song?" Tina asked.
"No, as long as it feels right for you!" Mr. Schue explained.
Glee club erupted in chatter about this week's assignment, a few names were thrown up into the air, some familiar, some not so.
"Guys, settle down, I believe Rachel wants to sing something to you this week." Mr. Schue smiled.
"As if having a beak the size of New York City wasn't attention grabbing enough, Man Hands feels the need to give us a show tune each week. Go figure!" Santana spat, reminding everybody about her hatred for the Berry girl.
"Santana!" Mr. Schue snapped. Santana merely held her hands up in defense and rolled her eyes as Rachel began belting out her song.
Santana was leaning against her locker as she waited for the lunch bell to ring so she could get back to class. She'd done a well enough job to avoid Brittany for the entire lunch break, or so she thought.
"Hey!" A young voice chirped from behind Santana.
"Hi." Santana said coldly as she took in Brittany in front of her. It was so easy to get lost in her friends beautiful blue eyes; they twinkled in the moonlight and danced as she laughed. Santana mentally kicked herself as she felt herself starting.
"Santana?" Brittany brought Santana out of her trance.
"What is it, Brittany?" Santana sighed, trying her hardest to sound annoyed.
"Have I done something wrong?" Brittany asked, looking at Santana with her brows furrowed.
"No." Santana said simply before slamming her locker shut and making eye contact with the tall blonde again.
"What is it?" The blonde said quietly, looking at Santana with eyes that didn't want to be lied to.
"I'm fine." Santana snapped.
"I'm sorry, I don't know what I've done, or what I've said, but I've obviously done something and I'm sorry, but please don't be mad Santana, I don't want to fight, I'm sorry for whatever I've done and I'm sorry that I'm too dumb too-"
"Stop!" The Latina interrupted, "Just stop." She sighed.
"What is it?" Brittany asked, she grabbed Santana's wrists and ran a comforting thumb over them.
"You're not dumb, Brittany." The Latina sighed before turning away and walking to class.
Santana sat in Geography wanting the clock to move forward faster. She needed to get out of here. Every time Santana closed her eyes, she would see Brittany.
"Santana Lopez!" A loud voice shouted from the front of the class, "Are you listening?"
"No." Santana sighed as she stood up; the young Latina wiped her tears before anybody could see them, "I need to go."
"But Miss Lopez-"Her teacher shouts.
"Please." Santana begged.
The teacher heard the desperation in Santana's voice and saw the tears glisten in Santana's chocolate brown eyes.
"You are dismissed."She whispered to Santana.
Santana nodded and ran. She just ran. She ran to the front of the school and made a sharp left, only to be stopped.
"Santana!" A young girl shouted.
"Please move, Britt." Santana snapped.
"Talk to me, Santana!" Brittany begged, "I miss you!"
"I'm right here!" Santana shouted, "How can you miss me?"
"I miss my friend." Brittany shrugged.
"She's right here!" Santana said.
"No she's not." Brittany shrugged, "Every time I talk to you Santana, you blow me off! I don't understand!"
"Yeah, well maybe after tomorrow's Glee assignment is over, you might understand a little bit more." Santana told her.
"What?"
"We've to sing about ourselves, I'm going to sing about why I am acting this way Brittany, maybe then, you might understand!" Santana shouted, allowing tears to course down her face as she ran away.
"I love you, Santana!" Brittany shouted after her, "You're my best friend."
"I love you too, Britt!" Santana cried back to her as she opened her car door, "You just don't know how much!" Santana shrugged as she entered her car, realizing that Brittany wouldn't understand what the other half of her sentence meant.
Santana drove home, thankful for the silence in her car, thankful that nobody was questioning her, but she was also sad that she had left Brittany feeling as if she had done something wrong.
Santana turned into her drive way. Her house was larger than most houses in Lima; her father was a doctor, so they were able to afford it. The front garden was large, with a small flower display gracing the centre of it. It was nice. It was showy, but it wasn't comforting, it wasn't something that filled Santana's heart with warmth and comfort when she saw it. It wasn't like the feeling she got when she pulled up outside the Pierce household.
"Mom? Dad?" Santana shouted as she opened the heavy door. Santana's voice echoed around the house. Nobody replied. Santana sighed and headed into her bedroom and lay down on the bed. Santana saw a small photo of Brittany on her dresser.
"Why you, Britt?" Santana mumbled, "Why did I fall in love with you? Why am I hiding from you? Why us Britt?" Santana said to herself, almost hoping that the picture would talk back to her.
The young Latina opened her phone up. Two missed calls from Brittany and a text. Santana opened the text and felt a pang of guilt as she read it.
Please let me be your friend again. Brittany. X
Santana typed a reply back to Brittany, the screen being slightly blurred by her tears.
You'll always be my friend. No matter what. San. X
Santana relaxed into her bed, only to be disturbed by the buzzing of her phone on the side table.
I hope we do. Brittany. X
Santana smiled at her friend and wiped away her tears before replying.
I know we will. Love, S x
"If you only knew how much I meant the love, part." Santana sighed to herself before turning off her phone and closing her eyes, trying to hold back more tears that were threatening to fall.
Santana sat at the back of Glee club once again, looking over at Brittany and Artie who were currently holding hands and looking adoringly into one another's eyes. It made Santana's skin crawl. She wished nothing more than for Brittany to love her, for Brittany to hold her hand. But something's will always just stay wishes
.
"Right guys!" Mr. Schue bounced into the Choir room in his favorite vest, "Who's up first?"
Nobody raised their hand, not even Rachel Berry. Santana glanced over to Brittany and Artie, who were still holding hands.
"I'll go." Santana said, looking over to Brittany, who now wore a worried look on her face.
"Go ahead Santana." Mr. Schue said, stepping to the side of the piano. Santana handed the piano player a small piece of paper before looking at Glee club.
"This is me." Santana shrugged sadly before looking over to Brittany who had now released Artie's hand and was now looking at Santana with those amazing blue eyes. Santana was quickly brought back to reality as the opening chords of the song began to play. And then she sung.
Well. I couldn't tell you why she felt that way,
She felt that every day.
And I couldn't help her,
I just watched her make the same mistakes again.
What's wrong? What's wrong, now?
Too many, too many problems!
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.
Santana looked around the choir room. All eyes were on her, they were all looking amazed; she looked at Brittany, who was looking at her sadly with tears in her eyes.
Open your eyes and look outside, find the reasons why.
You've been rejected, now you can't find what you've left behind.
Be strong, be strong now.
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.
Santana breathed out a shaky breath and wiped away some tears that were threatening to fall. With this action, most of the Glee kids finally understood the song. They understood who Santana was singing about. Their eyes looked at her sympathetically, while Brittany just looked confused.
Her feelings she hides.
Her dreams she can't find.
She's losing her mind.
She's fallen behind.
She can't find her place.
She's losing her faith.
She's fallen from grace.
She's all over the place.
Yeah, yeah, oh.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.
Santana looked at the Glee kids one last time before letting out another shaky sigh as she belted out the final lines.
She's lost inside, lost inside…Oh oh oh.
She's lost inside, lost inside…oh oh oh oh.
Santana stopped and smiled sadly at the Glee kids with tears in her eyes.
"Santana, who was that song about?" A sad looking Quinn asked tentatively.
"That song is about the girl I see every time I look in the mirror." Santana said before covering her mouth and running out of Glee club as her tears fell uncontrollably from her beautiful eyes.
"Who does she mean?" A confused Brittany asked a teary Kurt.
"When you look in the mirror, Brittany, who do you see?"
"Me." She answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"Then who will Santana see when she looks in the mirror?" Kurt sighed sadly.
"Her." Brittany whispered as she finally understood what Santana meant.
"Mr. Schue, I need to go!" Brittany stood up quickly and Mr. Schue just nodded.
"Britt, stop!" Artie shouted frustrated, "My song is about you!"
"Artie, I don't care, did you not hear Santana? Santana comes first!" Brittany shouted.
"What?" He scoffed, shocked at what he heard.
"Santana will always come first!" Brittany repeated as she sprinted out of the choir room.