Prologue
The Importance of Being in Smallville
Lord Lex: [to himself] A corporate takeover is the most exquisite pleasure there is; it satisfies, and yet leaves you craving more.
Clark: [enters, perturbed] Lex, I've ruined my life.
Lex: Nonsense, that's what parents are for.
Clark: No, I mean it! I've just asked both Chloe and Lana to the prom.
Lex: Oh, delightful!
Clark: No, don't you understand? This is the end of my life! They'll both hate me now.
Lex: To be hated by a beautiful woman is, on the whole, far more satisfactory than being loved by one.
Clark: Don't you believe in love?
Lex: I believe in the tooth fairy, since there was some hint of solid evidence in that a tooth disappeared and a gift certificate for seven thousand dollars at Neiman Marcus appeared. As for love, the same evidence, however flimsy, does not exist.
Clark: [sighs] Sometimes I think you believe what you say.
Lex: [shocked] Clark, I thought you knew me better than to assume that anybody as clever as I would believe what I say.
Clark: Is that another of your paradoxes? But I really can't argue paradoxes with you now, I have to find out how to get out of this mess!
Lex: Why? This way, both of them will be unattainable when they discover the situation, and the unattainable is always more attractive than the attainable. That is the secret of a good marriage, never to be attainable to one's spouse, but attainable to all other spouses.
Clark: But I don't want to hurt either of their feelings?
Lex: Women get an exquisite pleasure out of having their feelings hurt; they enjoy forgiveness more than an Inquisitor enjoyed torturing, doubtless because women have fewer human feelings.
Clark: Are you going to spout witticisms or are you going to help me?
Lex: Any fool can help, but it takes rare talent to spout witticisms without appearing like a gushing fountain pen, leaving blots in the most unseemly places.
Clark: Then what am I to do?
Lex: [smiles] Leave it all to me.
To be continued...if I get feedback saying it would be a good idea!
The Importance of Being in Smallville
Lord Lex: [to himself] A corporate takeover is the most exquisite pleasure there is; it satisfies, and yet leaves you craving more.
Clark: [enters, perturbed] Lex, I've ruined my life.
Lex: Nonsense, that's what parents are for.
Clark: No, I mean it! I've just asked both Chloe and Lana to the prom.
Lex: Oh, delightful!
Clark: No, don't you understand? This is the end of my life! They'll both hate me now.
Lex: To be hated by a beautiful woman is, on the whole, far more satisfactory than being loved by one.
Clark: Don't you believe in love?
Lex: I believe in the tooth fairy, since there was some hint of solid evidence in that a tooth disappeared and a gift certificate for seven thousand dollars at Neiman Marcus appeared. As for love, the same evidence, however flimsy, does not exist.
Clark: [sighs] Sometimes I think you believe what you say.
Lex: [shocked] Clark, I thought you knew me better than to assume that anybody as clever as I would believe what I say.
Clark: Is that another of your paradoxes? But I really can't argue paradoxes with you now, I have to find out how to get out of this mess!
Lex: Why? This way, both of them will be unattainable when they discover the situation, and the unattainable is always more attractive than the attainable. That is the secret of a good marriage, never to be attainable to one's spouse, but attainable to all other spouses.
Clark: But I don't want to hurt either of their feelings?
Lex: Women get an exquisite pleasure out of having their feelings hurt; they enjoy forgiveness more than an Inquisitor enjoyed torturing, doubtless because women have fewer human feelings.
Clark: Are you going to spout witticisms or are you going to help me?
Lex: Any fool can help, but it takes rare talent to spout witticisms without appearing like a gushing fountain pen, leaving blots in the most unseemly places.
Clark: Then what am I to do?
Lex: [smiles] Leave it all to me.
To be continued...if I get feedback saying it would be a good idea!