name: Heather
email: heather@hella-good.org
spoilers: Anything in season 2, especially "A-Tisket, A-Tasket", "Teach Me Tonight", "Lorelai's Graduation Day" and "I Can't Get Started"
summary: Rory returns home from her summer away in D.C., both nervous and excited at the prospect of the year ahead.
rating: PG-13
pairing: Rory and Jess!
disclaimer: Absolutely nothing is mine. Everything in all it's Gilmore glory belong to Amy Sherman-Palladino and all that jazz. I don't even own the computer on which I type this ;)
a/n: This story was inspired by a challenge at The Chilton Library. First off, I'm a huge, huge Jory gal and secondly, this is the first fic I've written for GG and the first fic I've written in over four years, so be kind...but be honest. Thanks!
Part 1 - Going Home Again
Rory sat on the bus, staring out the window as Washington D.C. went by in a blur. Every couple of minutes, she would turn her head to look at Paris and say, "uh-huh". Not ten minutes into the trip, she was forced to shut off her CD player and listen to Paris instead. After a whole summer, she had began to liken Paris to Charlie Brown's mother. All Rory heard was "mwah...mwah...mwah...". She had learned when to time her glances and her uh-huhs as Paris had caught on far too quickly. There was nothing that Rory had grown to dislike more than Paris saying, "Are you even listening to me?"
It's not that the summer was bad. Actually, Rory had quite a good time, even being with Paris every day. After a few weeks, home didn't seem so far away, life didn't seem so complicated and she was actually beginning to look forward to her position as Vice President this coming year. She did what Rory always did that summer; she threw herself into her work, into her future and she tried to push the last several months out of her mind. But it was virtually impossible. There was no escaping the constant memories of the good, the bad and the down right ugly.
As the time to go home neared, she was at once elated and petrified. She couldn't wait to see her mom, to get that great "it's been too long" hug from her. She missed everyone and everything. But there was still the "Dean situation". Paris had taken a liking to putting it into air quotes when they discussed it and Rory couldn't help but think of it that way over time, as well. Yes, she and Paris had discussed Dean. On the rare occasion, Paris let her human side out for a visit, they had a few nice conversations. It wasn't all puppies and kittens, but they had grown to consider each other friends, although neither one would every admit that to the other.
And currently, the "Dean situation" was where all her fear stemmed from. How was it all going to go? Had he calmed down over the last two months? Had he found someone new? Lane hadn't heard anything through the grapevine but she had gone away to Bible Camp two weeks before Dean returned to Stars Hollow. All Rory knew was that she and Dean were over and still, months later, she was apprehensive about the "Dean situation".
"Are you even listening to me?" Paris snapped.
"Huh? Uh, uh-huh. Yes, Paris, that's a great idea."
"Really?" Paris asked, eyebrow raised.
"Uh-huh." Rory looked quickly at her, giving her a small smile and averting her eyes just as quickly again.
"So, we'll start when we get back. There's nothing like a letter writing campaign to get Harvard to notice you."
"Oh...yeah, great, writing letters..."
"Washington won't know what hit them. Those dorms were laughable, this bus is atrocious...have they ever heard of air conditioning or, at the very least, a fan?"
"Yeah, it's awful."
"I know we can get everyone here to get in on it and then afterwards, I'm going to go to your little neck of the woods and find that Jess guy you've been mooning over and talk to him about it." Paris looked at Rory, smirking.
"Okay...uh, what?" Rory asked, confused.
"Guess you're going to have to retime those looks and uh-huhs."
"So there's no letter writing campaign?"
"Sorry to disappoint you but no...although it - "
"Paris, don't. I get it. You caught me. Good on you," Rory said with a biting tone. She looked at Paris and saw the hurt look in her eyes and Rory instantly felt guilty. "I'm sorry, Paris. It's not you. I just have...my brain is running overtime."
"I guess you're not feeling any more at ease about going home, then?"
"No, I am... I just still feel all jumbled up, I suppose."
"You have a whole town waiting for your return, Rory. I have my maid. Does that make you feel any better?"
"No, now I feel sad for you." Paris smiled and Rory did the same in return.
"Look, if the big lug gives you any problems, you just walk away from him. Albeit, I have no idea what I'm talking about here...but still...Rory, he's not your boyfriend anymore. You don't need to deal with whatever he has to say."
"Thanks, Paris."
"Ah, see, I know that thanks, too. It says, 'I really wish I could put my headphones on and think about my peppy existence'. Go right ahead. I have some reading to do. And I'm starting to give serious thought to the letter campaign." Paris smiled at Rory before opening her book and Rory knew everything was okay, that Paris understood what Rory wanted.
Rory put her headphones on again, listening to a CD Jess had burned and sent to her over the summer. She went back to staring out the window and she eventually dozed off.
******************
"What do you mean, Washington?"
"I told you it could be a possibility..."
"No, you said you would find a way out of it, Rory. Now you're saying you can't wait to go?!"
She looked at Dean and she suddenly felt eyes upon her. Everyone on the dance floor was looking at them, but trying, unsuccessfully, to act like they weren't.
"Dean...maybe we should go outside and talk about this, okay? I don't want to disrupt the reception."
"Fine, let's go." And he walked away, throwing the door open and storming outside. Rory looked around, met her mother's eyes and gave her a withered smile before following Dean out.
"Please, Dean, don't be mad. This isn't about you and me. This is about me having more experience for my application to Harvard."
"Right, how could I forget your precious Harvard? For once, I would love to come first!"
"You knew this was a possibility...I told you that...and I, I thought you understood," Rory stammered.
"Well, I don't, Rory! I thought we would be spending the summer together. After the last summer and school taking up all your time, I assumed-"
"I guess you assumed incorrectly," Rory interrupted. "You know, or at least I thought you knew, how important these things are to me. I have been doing this my whole life, Dean! This is why I go to Chilton, this is why I study, this is why I spent all last summer doing god-awful volunteer work with Paris!"
"And so where am I on Rory's list of importance? Am I in the top ten? Do I at least come before Paris or..." Dean stopped himself.
"I don't believe this. Of course you are important to me, but I need to do this. If you loved me as as much as you say you do, you would understand!" She knew she didn't answer the question completely and she definitely knew she that she skipped right over his implication.
"Rory, if you go to Washington for the summer..."
"Are you giving me an ultimatum?"
"What if I am? It's not like we both don't know what your choice is going to be."
"Well, you're making it a whole lot easier at the present moment," Rory said, coldly.
"Fine! You got to Washington, you have yourself a fantastic time but don't come back expecting us to be us."
"Don't worry. I think you've made that part perfectly clear!"
"Rory," Dean started, a bit more calmly. " I thought things were going to get better now that he's gone. I thought we were going to get back on track. And suddenly, everything's back to not being good."
Rory looked at Dean and it suddenly became very clear to her. It wasn't that she didn't love Dean and it wasn't that she loved Jess. She realized that she needed this...and not just for Harvard. She needed Washington for herself, for her own sanity. She needed a break from everything that made her feel bad.
She took a deep breath and said, "I'm sorry, Dean, but I have to go." He opened his mouth to say something but quickly closed it and said nothing. He turned on his heel and walked away, leaving Rory standing in front of the Inn, shaking, chilled to the bone, in more ways than one.
"Honey, you okay?" Rory turned around and saw her mom standing in the doorway with her classic concerned look on her face. She went to Lorelai and they hugged each other, sharing in their mutual grief over the loss of the men they loved.
****************
"Rory? Rory, wake up. We're back," Paris said, shaking her shoulder. "Your mom is waiting, my maid is waiting...it's time to get back to this world."
"Oh, what fun," Rory said, trying to smile, but finding it difficult as the remnants of her dream were still in the forefront of her mind.
As they got off the bus, she saw her mom waiting at the Jeep, two cups of Luke's coffee in her hands. Lorelai's smile was from ear to ear and Rory instantly felt safe again, felt okay about going home again.
"Well, see you at school in...oh, god, a week," Paris said with a crooked smile. "Not that I'm not thrilled to be going back but after Washington..."
"Everything seems different?" Rory asked.
"Exactly." They both laughed. "Well, until then, be good as you always are and be sure to properly feed those birds that dress you in the morning."
"Will do." Rory watched Paris walk away and said, "Hey Paris? Thanks...and not in the I want to put my headphones on kind of way." Paris smiled, a genuine smile, and got into her car.
"So is hell freezing over?" Rory turned to see her mom right behind her, holding out her coffee.
"How do you mean?" Rory asked, taking the coffee, smelling the delicious coffee smell and taking a gulp. "Mmm...good. Nothing like Luke's coffee."
"There really isn't. So...you and Paris are joined at the hip now?"
"Oh, no, definitely not. Although I think we've reached an understanding of sorts."
"Oh and what's that?"
"She talks, I pretend to listen, she pretends to believe that I'm listening and then we both agree to disagree on everything as long as we know each other. It's become our thing."
"Well, as long you're finding common ground," Lorelai said, smiling, staring at her daughter.
"Mom, don't..."
"I think you've grown! You look completely different. You look worldly...Do I know you? You're not my daughter! You're an imposter! You're-"
"So glad to be home," Rory interrupted, giving her mother a hug. Lorelai smiled to herself, blinking back her tears of happiness and hugged her daughter fiercely.
"You ready to go home?" Lorelai asked.
"Ready as I'll ever be, but..."
"What, hon?"
"Could you just hug me a little more?"