Hogwarts Hushed Weekly
Hogwarts #1 underground gossip magazine.
Written and edited by: Bonnie and Bella (and No those are not are real names!)
The Top 10 Most Dangerous and Powerful Student Wizards Attending Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Take a look at this list. Here you might find your future leaders, heros or just maybe you might find a supreme bad ass who has the ability to make your life a living hell. Either way these are the wizards and wiches that you need to be on the look out for as the powerhouses of our school! But whatever path these people chose we here at Hushed Weekly have no doubt they will set the world on fire. We just hope they wont just sit back and let it burn… (Written by Bella)
10. Mundugus Fletcher: Its not exactly as Fletch is powerful by um… traditional standards cause we have seen no proof of that. However, many aspects where considered in the compiling of this list. This guy is the epitome of bad karma and that makes him just plain dangerous . And well, that's what this list is about! Plus Fletch 'tempts' his bad karma with his 'shady' doings-on. It seems like Knockturn alley is this kid's second home. You want to gamble, pawn your grandmothers diamond necklace, acquire illegal items you go to him. He associates with dangerous people, places himself in dangerous situations. Just being surrounded by so much danger makes you dangerous, ecspecially for Fletch who has Murphey and his laws out to get him and his friends.
9. Severus Snape: Word of advice? Beware social outcasts. Ecspecially social outcasts who have a notorious love affair for the dark arts. Always watch your back with a social outcast who has a notorious love affair for the dark arts and is packing some skill to boot. He has what is seemingly a permentant seat with the top in all his classes. As the reader, you must be wondering to yourself with this haughty description were giving him why isnt he ranked higher on the list? Because, he's sort of the school punching bag isnt he? (At least for the the Marauders). He's shy, has a complex and that makes him the very powerful yet creepy guy on our list.
8. Narcissa Black: Are you judging my sanity on this one? If you are, ask yourself would you mess with her? Of course not. The blond Slytherin Beauty might not be coloring with a complete set of crayons, but does she really have to? Her boyfriend and her best friend are both ranked higher on this list. Girls got herself one powerful posse. Her family lineage is notorious, respected, powerful, and 'old.' Oh yes, she might not be playing with a full deck but she has the right cards to rob you of all your money.
7. Peter Petegrew: Talk about rolling with a powerful posse! He's rolling with the most powerful of all isn't he? Well at least when it concerns our school. And there's the mystery that surrounds him. He doesn't seem very smart; he doesn't seem very powerful yet he belongs to the Marauders, a group highly recognised for their power and intelligence. Um… why?? If history has taught us anything the Marauders rarely do anything without a purpose. So until the reason behind Petegrew's place in the group is learned were decidedly not turning our back on him.
6.Bellatrix Black: Ooh the B&# of slytherin. The unhinged can be very dangerous people ecspecially when they seem to be very prone to violent behavior. This undeniably beautiful girl would rather spit on you then talk to you. Seriously, ask her! Her beauty should be noted again as she has been known to throw it around to get her way. Beauty is power folks and this one knows it. To ask the dear why she has such a superiority complex we here at the magazine assume that she would attribute her right to sit upon her pedastle because that pedastle was built upon the 'noble' foundation of the House of Black. And if she knows it you can bet the homestead shell threaten you with it.
5. Lucious Malfoy: Charm, power, money, deadly glint in his eyes showing hes all business. The aptly titled Prince of Slytherin is as cool and cold as they come. Now not too much is known about this character. Which we find strange. We know his family (um POWERful). We know his girlfriend (number 8). But yet he remains a slight enigma. Always composed yet always threatening. Handsome yet terrifying. Its too undefinable and here at the magazine we don't trust it. Anyone who takes to much time to hid their character in public is hiding something. Power can lie in mystery. But Malfoy has no need to bank on that. Piss him off and I'm sure he'd hire an assasin that'll be tailing you within the hour. Unless of course Malfoy chose to do the deed himself. As a top student in the dark arts and charms he's got the qualifications.
4. Lily Evans: Are you confused? The gourgeous headgirl? The one who helps out all the ickle little first years. The Sweetheart of Hogwarts. Pff. She ain't so sweet. This girl has a red headed temper that leaves no doubt that not only was she kissed by fire she must have made out with it for an hour plus. It's explosive and its legendary in the house of Gryffindor. Plus headgirl? Ahem! headgirl power (legal power –girl has the LAW backing her up). To become headgirl you have to bethe top student. Then it follows she's the best at the dark arts, charms, … you know history of magic, whatever the girl is teeming with skill. Want proof ,who's the one person in the school that has the balls to put the Marauders in their place? Want more proof, who is the only person that we have ever seen the Marauders back down to?
(From here on out I think you know the direction of our list so without further ado…)
3. Remus Lupin: Known as the practical Marauder. A.K.A. the quiet Marauder so one might assume he is not as dangerous. But in this reporter's opinion that makes him even more so! He's clever enough to stay under our radar while mingling with the most talked about people of the school. All girls swoon that he is so so nice. Charming boys are dangerous. This boy is like the puppet master of the Marauders he doesn't so much control the others but he keeps the in check. He keeps them from getting caught… So in summary we believe he is like a ninja secretly controlling hogwarts. If he wasn't so sickly all the time, Merlin would we be in trouble!
2. James Effin Potter: Marauding bad ass who has girls wanting him and boys wanting to be him. Star quidditch captain who has girls swooning at his feet (yes, I'll repeat it cause its so damn true!). In the top of all his classes and a force to be wrecken with in transfiguration. Plus undefeated dueling champion…um the unathorized dueling champion that is. Comes from an old very very wealthy wizarding family. Creative, witty, this guy has so many checkmarks in the 'im powerful' category it feels like im gushing… which leads me to another one- boy's got the power of the press on his side ;)
1. Sirius Black: Well its only fitting a Black made the top of my list. I find it more fitting that it's a Gryffindor but I suppose that's debatable. This one is the epitome of a bad boy and if that's not dangerous I don't know what is. Since it's the final Marauder may I take a moment to pause and note that when I talk about one I may as well be talking about all of em as they all stick together. Quidditch star, fearless gryffindor, um.. may I venture sex god? (Assuming again that some rumors are true) But hey if you are a sex god Sirius you can tally another power to your list –you got an army of women who can assume to be found only at your feet. But enough joking. He takes the cake because of his presense. This man is dangerous and powerful. Don't believe me look him in eyes… oh yeah, you ain't taking him on.
Terror Tactics Taking Place (by Bonnie)
Caretaker Filch has apparently been dealing with nightly barrage of water balloon attackes for two weeks. Now this is hilarious. Given. However, I would as a service like to point out that detentions have nearly doubled this passed week as Filch has gone a little bazerk. Its been reported that he handed out a detention for a girl accidently dropping her book when he startled her. Im only saying much more then this he is going to stroke and he knows it. And I think this guy has been planning to take the whole student body out with him when he goes for quite some time now. Im not willing to jeopordize my safety for something even as hilarious as this so I humbly petition stop the terror tactics.
Another Weekly article about the Marauders to keep you lady readers, well reading! James Potter The Wealthiest Man Attending Hogwarts? (By Bonnie)
We have given hints to his wealth before, but us at the magazine, have never thought to sit and think about it before.
Well we have now.
There are only a few of the really Top old families left. There are the Blacks, Malfoys, Weasleys, blah blah, and then there are the Potters! The only difference is the Potters are so very rare. Rarity means that all the family fortune goes to him. CaChing! Its believed that the Potters have several estates in London, Paris, Wisconsin (of all the places in the states?? I ask you why?) and several other. Lets just say he could take you on your own little personal world tour.
Now this is of course only speculation. Because breaking into Grigotts is harder then one might think. And probably imposible if we wish to keep out identity secret. Which we do! But were still trying! Hope you all feel very comforted…
I would like to make a comment here. Bonnie this is drabble… (Bella)
I would like to comment Bella's comment. I know slow news week, it was either that or a story "Is Remus Lupin a werewolf?" Psh. Please. (Bonnie)
Snape again? (Bella)
Well he went for annonymous, but yeah it was him. (Bonnie)
Letters to the Editors (Answered by Bella and Bonnie)
Hushed Weekly,
I didn't eat a sandwhich that was dropped on the floor in the great hall. How do you come up with that randomness. Can I get a retraction?
-Trisha B.
Trisha –You ate the damn sandwhich. We didn't have to make it up reality did it for us. (Bonnie)
Yes but theres no shame in it! Our sources say you made the 5 second rule. And the article was about all the wastefullness going on at hogwarts if you recall. We were commending you! (Bella)
She was. I was laughing at the fact you ate a sandwhich… off the floor. (Bonnie).
Bonnie and Bella,
Still waiting for to see our marrige announcement on the front page…
Sirius B.
Bella and I are still fighting for the title my love. (Bonnie)
Hogwarts Hushed Weekly,
The proffesors have requested that I ask you not to bug the proffessor's common room. In couriousity how did you get the bugs to be so life like and yet be actually alive?
Headmaster,
Albus Dumbeldoor
Not easily, do you think we can get the bugs back? Or is asking out of the line? (Bonnie)
Transfiguration gone awry taught us that we could enlarge a cricket transfigure a less then vital organ into a recording device and then shrink the whole thing when done! (Bella)
Seriously though, I think the first one we ever made was in the batch we sent to the professors lounge. His name was todd. (Bonnie)
Hushed Weekly,
I was wondering what the inside scoop was for Amos Diggery? You know does he like anyone is he seeing anyone?
Annonymous.
Annonymous –Hehe these are still adorable (Bella)
Or stalkerish. But they keep us in business! So we shall answer. (Bonnie)
Amos is as far as our sources go,which are extensive, is single. However there are rumors that a one Lily Evans has a thing for him. So unless you are one said Lily Evans ;) that is your competition… (Bella)
As long with the whole of Hufflepuff as he is the most interesting thing to come to them since their history. (Bonnie)
Next week On Hogwarts Hushed Weekly:
Whatever news there is that week.
And Your list of the top Women Hogwarts Hotties!! Please feel free to vote for your favorites, just leave them in the same place you leave the lettors to the editors.