This might be more of a mature piece of my writing. There's no suicide at all, but there's death and depression. I love the song and, after seeing a ColoursoftheDawn video, and finding out no one had written a songfic with this, made me inspired. I really, really hope you like it. Trading Yesterday's Shattered.
Yesterday I died, tomorrow's bleeding. Fall into your sunlight.
He watches her being laid down into the ground. She's gone. Bitter words exchanged between them on so many occasions. Hatred bubbling over them. It was too late to say sorry. She was gone, and wasn't coming back.
The future's open wide beyond believing. To know why hope dies.
The world would go on with her body in the ground. Wide possibilities everywhere. But for him, the world had stopped moving. There was no hope left for a life of love or of joy. Why'd it die? He hated to know why his hope died.
Losing what was found, a world so hollow. Suspended in a compromise.
His heart is but a hollow shell within his chest. It has no purpose anymore. He can no longer love, no longer hate, no longer feel.
All of her friends had to agree to live life again because there was no way it was going to go back to the same way before. A reluctant compromise.
The silence of this sound is soon to follow. Somehow sundown.
Everyone leaves, weeping, as the ceremony ends, but he stays close by. He kneels down to peer at the gravestone, sadness overcoming him. It wasn't supposed to end like this—an argument, and then an unexpected explosion of realization, only to find it was too late.
And finding answers, is forgetting all of the questions we called home. Passing the graves of the unknown.
He knows the truth. He knows the answers to the questions of her death. He knows the terrible truth that all this—the reason her grave is amongst these many—is his fault.
As reason clouds my eyes, with splendor fading, illusions of the sunlight and the reflection of a lie will keep me waiting. Love gone for so long.
Tears begin to cascade down his already wet cheeks. The sun from above begins to hide behind the gray clouds, hiding the warmth he needed. All he can see, hear, and feel is the lie now. It makes him wait here, beside her, when hope is dead. Love was weighing heavily in his heart but he had lied to every last person, claiming it was hate. He lied so often he started to believe it himself; and then he started to hate. But now that lie had come back to haunt him for it was the very thing that had destroyed her.
He recalled her coming to him, searching comfort. He merely snapped at her, wondering why someone who hated him so much would ask him for comfort. Taken aback, she spat horrid words at him, and he gave back more hate. The lie started to mount as they yelled; it grew larger, heavier, and more dangerous. It became so large he finally spoke the lie aloud in the form of three words. She had just gazed at him, tears welling up inside. After that she left, speaking nothing more to him. He just turned on his heel to go back home, not realizing those three acid words would be the last she'd ever hear him say, the last words she'd hear anyone say before the car would come barreling down the road she crossed.
This day's ending is the proof of time killing all the faith I know. Knowing that faith is all I hold.
Darkness begins to arrive. Church bells ding in the far distance, signaling late night mass. If only he deserved to go into that sacred temple. But he deserved no help from anyone. His faith was crushed beyond recognition anyhow. She could've stayed if only He had let her. But, no, he knew it wasn't the Lord's fault. The blame truly couldn't be put on anyone. If the blame could, though, it would go on himself. He needs his faith. Without her, it's all he has now.
And I've lost who I am, and I can't understand why my heart is so broken rejecting your love.
He falls on his face, letting the tears flow onto the ground. His soul is ripped apart by her death and he wishes everything could be redone. His heart is broken beyond help.
If only he hadn't rejected her love. Just because they were different he had pushed her far away from him, not wanting her at all. He wanted flawlessness, wanted love that was the epitome of perfection. But his only true feelings were for a girl who had more flaws than one could count. Just because he wanted typical, wanted perfect, he had rejected her; now it could not be undone, his selfish choice.
Without love gone wrong, lifeless words carry on.
Yells and conversations of those around him hold no meaning. They're gibberish to him-lifeless words being carried on by the wind to others. They've lost no love, those people. He, however, has lost everything. For him, everything had gone wrong.
But I know, all I know, is that the end's beginning.
He lifts his eyes to stare at the name elegantly carved into the stone: Samantha Joy Puckett, it reads. The only thing he knows now is that it's not truly over. She'll never return to Earth, no; but it doesn't mean he won't go to Heaven. The end of her life here is actually the beginning of her life there. And that beginning has no end. And when he reaches his end, he'll start a beginning too; one, hopefully, with her forever.
Who I am from the start. Take me home to my heart. Let me go, and I will run. I will not be silenced.
He stands, shaking, staring up at the clouds that shout rain. He sees nothing physically but spiritually he sees it all: her shining silver face from Heaven above, reaching for him. Only she can help him now. He wants her to help his heart now; help it heal until the final moment.
He calls for the despair to let him go so he can run to her waiting arms. No matter what she'll say when he arrives he'll never stop crying out. Whatever it takes she shan't silence him from apologizing, from speaking what he believes, what he knows. She'll listen to his words and maybe, just maybe, she'll know too.
All this time spent in vain. Wasted years, wasted gain. All is lost; hope remains. And this war's not over.
It could've happened long ago. He had wasted years wanting but never acting. He could've gained her love, gained her joy. But it was all lost now. He'd never receive her love here. But hope remains. He can try again once his time arrives too. Hope wells in him—perhaps when he is beckoned to Heaven all that lost love will return and they can be happy. The war for love is not yet over.
There's a light. There's a sun. Taking all shattered ones to the place we belong, and His love will conquer all.
Bright sunlight filters through the dark clouds. Her silvery body leaves his vision but he still feels her. He knows he'll be up there soon; his shattered body will be renewed. He'll be up with her, with Him, with all the shattered people who finally find solace. God's love will conquer all the misery in his heart, and He will also show him to her. After that, life on Earth won't matter for he'll have found everything he ever needed.
Yesterday I died, tomorrow's bleeding. Fall into your sunlight.
More tears begin to arrive but he feels no pain anymore. He just keeps his eyes above to the sky, knowing she's behind those clouds and that sun.
"I don't hate you." he whispers, "I love you." Though he can't hear it, and can't see her, and doesn't feel it, she's there with him, saying "I love you too."