A/N: Hey you cracked out people, what is up? Well, this is really a…strange…story! It's about Hagrid, Olympe, the Expandable Couch, and more. If you'd like to read the first three chapters-(Ron/Hermione, McGonagall/Snape, Percy/Penelope)-then check out "Comic Relief-The Expandable couch."
Disclaimer: Ah, this thingy. Well, thank you to my cuz, who is kick butt awesome, and helped me when I was stumped. Check out her fic called "All Angels Fall"-by Sunglow As well as her MWPP fic. Characters are JKR's and the 'expandable couch'…well that's a scary story.
The Death of the Expandable Couch ~ Hagrid and Olympe
By: Silver Ice
The Hogwarts students were swinging about wildly as the upbeat music played. Hogwarts was holding it's first Halloween dance, and nearly the entire school was on the dance floor. Not only that, but everyone had taken the idea of dressing up the Muggle way.
"I can't believe that's Dumbledore, he looks like some drunk biker," Hermione said quietly to Harry and Ron as Dumbledore passed them, screaming, 'has anyone seen my Harley?' He was wearing a leather jacket, and dark sunglasses. He'd tied back his hair, and had on leather boots as well as skin tight black pants.
All three shuttered, however, they weren't dressed normally either. Ron was dressed as an oversized clown, Harry as a duck, and Hermione as a princess.
As they headed for the punch table they saw Madame Maxine, who had come to stay for the remainder of the year. She sat on nearly three chairs, and was wearing a Tinker Bell outfit, which Hermione had pointed out. As they finished their drinks, Ron and Hermione began to dance, leaving Harry all alone.
While he watched, he heard sniffling from outside. Harry stepped out into the windy night, and saw a looming figure on the near by bench. He knew immediately it was Hagrid, "Er, Hagrid, is something upsetting you?"
Startled, Hagrid jumped up, but sat back down as he saw Harry. Harry however , couldn't get rid of the shock of seeing Hagrid's outfit. He was wearing an Indian Headdress, with oddly placed feathers, tight tan pants with beads, and two purple paw prints on his hairy, bare chest.
"Yah Harry, it's me and Olympe that's on me mind. She's bin' actin' so strangely," Hagrid muttered sadly.
"Come on Hagrid, you're only thinking that, I'm sure she's obsessed with you," Harry said comfortingly as he sat down.
"Do ya really think so?" Hagrid asked, lifting his head.
"Would I be telling you this if I didn't?" Harry replied.
"Yer right, thanks 'Arry." Hagrid stood up, smiled, and entered Hogwarts.
"Right," Harry stated to himself as he followed Hagrid, and entered the Great Hall. He again took a sat at the punch table. Hagrid was weaving through the crowds to Olympe.
Harry was distracted suddenly by a shout.
"What are you doing sitting? Get out on the dance floor!" Ron exclaimed pushing his red clown nose up. Hermione was clutching on to his ruffled arm as they moved to the fast paced tempo. Harry sighed and then disappeared into the crowds.
******
"Olympe, I've bin' meanin' to talk to ya," Hagrid boomed as he reached Olympe.
"Oh, and about what?" She asked unconsciously fixing her hair.
"Well, I was wonderin' if you was mad at me," Hagrid said, taking a seat.
"Me? Why, I thought you were mad at me. How could you 'ave thought I could be angry at you?" Olympe exclaimed, turning to look at Hagrid.
"I could never be angry at you!" Hagrid stated, growing happy.
"My, you look 'andsome today," Olympe said smiling.
"Yer look charmin' too, like a fairy," Hagrid replied joyously.
Olympe yawned, "Perhaps we should go for a walk, tour the school."
Hagrid nodded ardently, "Let's go."
The two stood, made their way through the crowd, and into the hallways of the school. After walking about for a while, they reached the Gryffindor Dormitories. Hagrid muttered the password, and the portrait let them in, quickly closing shut afterwards.
******
"Harry, you really should have some more punch, it's simply superb!" Ron exclaimed.
"It's not that great Ron, I think you may need to lye down a bit," Seamus said as Ron swaggered.
"Hermione, you didn't drink any punch, did you?" Harry asked wonderingly.
"Only three glasses," Hermione said holding up two fingers.
"I knew it, someone laced the punch!" Dean exclaimed.
"What? There's no lace on the punch, if you'd like to have some I'll give it to you though," Ron said, holding up his frilly sleeve.
"Where's Fred and George, I bet you they did it," Harry said laughingly.
"Everyone, drink the punch!" Ron hollered drunkenly.
"Well, all right, I'll have some," Professor McGonagall said, drinking a glass, and then asking for another.
Everyone snickered as she drank. After her second cup, she hiccuped, picked up another, and walked away.
"Ha, the day that women gets drunk, never would have expected that one," Seamus said in astonishment.
"Guess what?" Hermione inquired suddenly.
"What?" Everyone replied.
"What?" Hermione said, giving everyone a weird glance.
"Ha, that's a good one Hermione," Ron said bobbing his head.
"Wasn't it!" Hermione exclaimed in elation.
"They must be really messed up," Lavender whispered to Parvati.
"Hmm…that punch does look good," Parvati alleged, changing the subject.
She glanced at Lavender, and without a second thought, they grabbed the fullest glasses, and gulped down.
"Yum, yum, yum, this is really good punch," Dumbledore said passing by again. Harry slapped his forehead as everyone began to drink the punch.
"What's a matta' Harry? I told you the punch was good, don't you believe me?" Ron questioned.
"Oh, I believe you, it looks very good," Harry said in agreement.
"You're a liar! You're lying to me," Hermione shouted before she led Ron away.
Harry scratched his left temple with his right hand, and finally decided that it was going to be a long night.
******
"This is a nice room, much nicer then any I've seen before," Olympe said as they walked around the common room.
"It's the greatest common room in this school, that's for sure," Hagrid replied, straitening a book.
"What is this for? All this extra room I mean," Olympe said, referring to the extra space around the couch.
"Ah, it's expandable," Hagrid replied.
"It is? Can you do expand it?" Olympe asked curiously.
"Of course, with a wand, here, I can use this," Hagrid said, picking up a wand from a pile of papers.
"Do show me," Olympe cooed.
"Hankis Pankis," Hagrid bellowed. At first, nothing happened, but the couch suddenly began to move, and in an instant was a bed.
Olympe sat down, followed by Hagrid. The two sat in silence for a moment, and then drew in for a kiss. They kissed, and then looked into each other's eyes. Just as they began to lean in there was a loud creaking sound.
"What's that!" Olympe asked.
"I…I think it's the couch, I think it's breakin'," Hagrid assumed, as the noise grew steadily louder.
It stopped suddenly, and the two finally thought there was no problem. Then the unexpected happened. The Expandable Couch creaked one last creak before crumbling to the ground.
"Oops," Hagrid and Olympe said at the same time. They dashed out of the room, and out the entrance before anyone could see them.
"That was a close one, let's stay at my place from now on," Olympe said as they headed for her carriage.
******
"I have 11 fingers!" Ron hollered loudly.
"No way, I have 4," Parvati shouted back.
"Hey, I have 270billion," Hermione said happily.
"You guys, what's that noise?" Harry questioned. It was coming from outside, and it was ear deafening. Everyone dashed outside to see what was happening. At first, they heard nothing, but then there was a loud voice to the left.
"Live to ride, ride to live," Dumbledore shouted, speeding away on his Harley Davidson. McGonagall was on the back, shouting wildly as they drove away.
"Man, this is such a confusing morning," Hermione said in a daze.
"Hermione, it's still night," Harry said heading back to the school, and groggily up the stairs. Harry said the password, then all the Gryffindors entered the common room.
"An impostor has been here! What will we do," Lavender shrieked.
"I know, why don't we sleep," Harry mentioned.
"The couch, it's dead, someone killed it, it's gone forever!" Hermione shouted as she silently began to cry.
"It's okay, I'll fix it. Look, all it needs is a little paint," Ron said.
"Okay, let's go to sleep now," Hermione suggested, leading the way to the dorms.
No one paid any attention to the destroyed couch that night, but in the morning, everyone was shocked, and saddened by their loss. Even thought Gryffindor would ever remember that evening, everyone would remember The death of the Expandable Couch.
A/N: Okay that was great! Thank you to Sunglow, who let me use her "Guess what, what, what" thing! Well, do you all love this chapter? Sorry for the whole OOC but, yeah, well, yeah. So you can review and you can flame and it can be signed, or anonymous too. Or you could just read this and then not review, or flame. I doubt anyone's willing to do that…right!?
A/N2: Oh, this is the last one guys, the Expandable couch, is dead!!!!! I know, it's all very sad. I know you can go on though, be brave!
Disclaimer: Ah, this thingy. Well, thank you to my cuz, who is kick butt awesome, and helped me when I was stumped. Check out her fic called "All Angels Fall"-by Sunglow As well as her MWPP fic. Characters are JKR's and the 'expandable couch'…well that's a scary story.
The Death of the Expandable Couch ~ Hagrid and Olympe
By: Silver Ice
The Hogwarts students were swinging about wildly as the upbeat music played. Hogwarts was holding it's first Halloween dance, and nearly the entire school was on the dance floor. Not only that, but everyone had taken the idea of dressing up the Muggle way.
"I can't believe that's Dumbledore, he looks like some drunk biker," Hermione said quietly to Harry and Ron as Dumbledore passed them, screaming, 'has anyone seen my Harley?' He was wearing a leather jacket, and dark sunglasses. He'd tied back his hair, and had on leather boots as well as skin tight black pants.
All three shuttered, however, they weren't dressed normally either. Ron was dressed as an oversized clown, Harry as a duck, and Hermione as a princess.
As they headed for the punch table they saw Madame Maxine, who had come to stay for the remainder of the year. She sat on nearly three chairs, and was wearing a Tinker Bell outfit, which Hermione had pointed out. As they finished their drinks, Ron and Hermione began to dance, leaving Harry all alone.
While he watched, he heard sniffling from outside. Harry stepped out into the windy night, and saw a looming figure on the near by bench. He knew immediately it was Hagrid, "Er, Hagrid, is something upsetting you?"
Startled, Hagrid jumped up, but sat back down as he saw Harry. Harry however , couldn't get rid of the shock of seeing Hagrid's outfit. He was wearing an Indian Headdress, with oddly placed feathers, tight tan pants with beads, and two purple paw prints on his hairy, bare chest.
"Yah Harry, it's me and Olympe that's on me mind. She's bin' actin' so strangely," Hagrid muttered sadly.
"Come on Hagrid, you're only thinking that, I'm sure she's obsessed with you," Harry said comfortingly as he sat down.
"Do ya really think so?" Hagrid asked, lifting his head.
"Would I be telling you this if I didn't?" Harry replied.
"Yer right, thanks 'Arry." Hagrid stood up, smiled, and entered Hogwarts.
"Right," Harry stated to himself as he followed Hagrid, and entered the Great Hall. He again took a sat at the punch table. Hagrid was weaving through the crowds to Olympe.
Harry was distracted suddenly by a shout.
"What are you doing sitting? Get out on the dance floor!" Ron exclaimed pushing his red clown nose up. Hermione was clutching on to his ruffled arm as they moved to the fast paced tempo. Harry sighed and then disappeared into the crowds.
******
"Olympe, I've bin' meanin' to talk to ya," Hagrid boomed as he reached Olympe.
"Oh, and about what?" She asked unconsciously fixing her hair.
"Well, I was wonderin' if you was mad at me," Hagrid said, taking a seat.
"Me? Why, I thought you were mad at me. How could you 'ave thought I could be angry at you?" Olympe exclaimed, turning to look at Hagrid.
"I could never be angry at you!" Hagrid stated, growing happy.
"My, you look 'andsome today," Olympe said smiling.
"Yer look charmin' too, like a fairy," Hagrid replied joyously.
Olympe yawned, "Perhaps we should go for a walk, tour the school."
Hagrid nodded ardently, "Let's go."
The two stood, made their way through the crowd, and into the hallways of the school. After walking about for a while, they reached the Gryffindor Dormitories. Hagrid muttered the password, and the portrait let them in, quickly closing shut afterwards.
******
"Harry, you really should have some more punch, it's simply superb!" Ron exclaimed.
"It's not that great Ron, I think you may need to lye down a bit," Seamus said as Ron swaggered.
"Hermione, you didn't drink any punch, did you?" Harry asked wonderingly.
"Only three glasses," Hermione said holding up two fingers.
"I knew it, someone laced the punch!" Dean exclaimed.
"What? There's no lace on the punch, if you'd like to have some I'll give it to you though," Ron said, holding up his frilly sleeve.
"Where's Fred and George, I bet you they did it," Harry said laughingly.
"Everyone, drink the punch!" Ron hollered drunkenly.
"Well, all right, I'll have some," Professor McGonagall said, drinking a glass, and then asking for another.
Everyone snickered as she drank. After her second cup, she hiccuped, picked up another, and walked away.
"Ha, the day that women gets drunk, never would have expected that one," Seamus said in astonishment.
"Guess what?" Hermione inquired suddenly.
"What?" Everyone replied.
"What?" Hermione said, giving everyone a weird glance.
"Ha, that's a good one Hermione," Ron said bobbing his head.
"Wasn't it!" Hermione exclaimed in elation.
"They must be really messed up," Lavender whispered to Parvati.
"Hmm…that punch does look good," Parvati alleged, changing the subject.
She glanced at Lavender, and without a second thought, they grabbed the fullest glasses, and gulped down.
"Yum, yum, yum, this is really good punch," Dumbledore said passing by again. Harry slapped his forehead as everyone began to drink the punch.
"What's a matta' Harry? I told you the punch was good, don't you believe me?" Ron questioned.
"Oh, I believe you, it looks very good," Harry said in agreement.
"You're a liar! You're lying to me," Hermione shouted before she led Ron away.
Harry scratched his left temple with his right hand, and finally decided that it was going to be a long night.
******
"This is a nice room, much nicer then any I've seen before," Olympe said as they walked around the common room.
"It's the greatest common room in this school, that's for sure," Hagrid replied, straitening a book.
"What is this for? All this extra room I mean," Olympe said, referring to the extra space around the couch.
"Ah, it's expandable," Hagrid replied.
"It is? Can you do expand it?" Olympe asked curiously.
"Of course, with a wand, here, I can use this," Hagrid said, picking up a wand from a pile of papers.
"Do show me," Olympe cooed.
"Hankis Pankis," Hagrid bellowed. At first, nothing happened, but the couch suddenly began to move, and in an instant was a bed.
Olympe sat down, followed by Hagrid. The two sat in silence for a moment, and then drew in for a kiss. They kissed, and then looked into each other's eyes. Just as they began to lean in there was a loud creaking sound.
"What's that!" Olympe asked.
"I…I think it's the couch, I think it's breakin'," Hagrid assumed, as the noise grew steadily louder.
It stopped suddenly, and the two finally thought there was no problem. Then the unexpected happened. The Expandable Couch creaked one last creak before crumbling to the ground.
"Oops," Hagrid and Olympe said at the same time. They dashed out of the room, and out the entrance before anyone could see them.
"That was a close one, let's stay at my place from now on," Olympe said as they headed for her carriage.
******
"I have 11 fingers!" Ron hollered loudly.
"No way, I have 4," Parvati shouted back.
"Hey, I have 270billion," Hermione said happily.
"You guys, what's that noise?" Harry questioned. It was coming from outside, and it was ear deafening. Everyone dashed outside to see what was happening. At first, they heard nothing, but then there was a loud voice to the left.
"Live to ride, ride to live," Dumbledore shouted, speeding away on his Harley Davidson. McGonagall was on the back, shouting wildly as they drove away.
"Man, this is such a confusing morning," Hermione said in a daze.
"Hermione, it's still night," Harry said heading back to the school, and groggily up the stairs. Harry said the password, then all the Gryffindors entered the common room.
"An impostor has been here! What will we do," Lavender shrieked.
"I know, why don't we sleep," Harry mentioned.
"The couch, it's dead, someone killed it, it's gone forever!" Hermione shouted as she silently began to cry.
"It's okay, I'll fix it. Look, all it needs is a little paint," Ron said.
"Okay, let's go to sleep now," Hermione suggested, leading the way to the dorms.
No one paid any attention to the destroyed couch that night, but in the morning, everyone was shocked, and saddened by their loss. Even thought Gryffindor would ever remember that evening, everyone would remember The death of the Expandable Couch.
A/N: Okay that was great! Thank you to Sunglow, who let me use her "Guess what, what, what" thing! Well, do you all love this chapter? Sorry for the whole OOC but, yeah, well, yeah. So you can review and you can flame and it can be signed, or anonymous too. Or you could just read this and then not review, or flame. I doubt anyone's willing to do that…right!?
A/N2: Oh, this is the last one guys, the Expandable couch, is dead!!!!! I know, it's all very sad. I know you can go on though, be brave!