Arthur Grows up: Baby's Got Sacks
It was a normal day in Elwood City, but for Arthur Read and friends, it was about to get very weird. It all began earlier that day when Ms. Stuart offered a new assignment to the class.
"Today class, you're going to learn about responsibility" the bear woman said "you'll be divided into teams and given a bag of sugar to watch over. I want you to treat it as you would a baby. At the end of the week, each of you will report how well you cared for your bag."
Alan's hand shot up "excuse me, but is this something we really need to learn?" he asked "most students are not required to perform this exercise until health class in high school."
"Very true" Ms. Stuart replied "but with our educational system the way it is, we've been forced to move up our curriculum. That's why your math class now teaches calculus."
"Oh, I thought it was an insidious government plot to melt our brains so they can refashion us into loyal zombie slaves" Buster explained.
"O-kay" Ms. Stuart said, phased by the boys reply "anyway, the teams are, Arthur Read and…Sue Ellen Armstrong."
"Yes!" Sue Ellen said happily, before noticing most of her class was looking at her "I mean, oh goody."
"Francine Frensky and Alan Powers."
"All right, this will be a snap" Francine commented.
"Muffy Crosswire and Robert Dawes."
"You must be joking" Muffy replied.
"Fern Walters and Troy Molton."
"Hey, that kid has the same name as me" Troy commented.
"That's because he is you" Ms. Stuart replied.
"Oh, radical."
"Jenna Morgan & George Lundgren."
"Looks like we're together sweetie pie" Jenna said.
"Penny Shields and Buster Baxter."
"Not Buster Ms. Stuart, he's the laziest kid in class" Penny whined "my grade point average will decrease just sitting next to him. Couldn't I have Alan instead, and let Francine have Buster?"
"Forget it, I've worked with Buster before and I'm not doing it again" Francine countered.
"There will be no switching of partners" Ms. Stuart replied.
"Um, Ms. Stuart" Binky said "me and Leonard don't have any partners, and there's no girls left."
"Then I guess the two of you will simply have to work together."
"But, we're two guys."
"So?"
"Two guys can't raise a baby. It's unnatural."
"Actually, that's not true" Leonard explained "for example, the orc species has few females, so its' not uncommon to see orc males raise the offspring."
"Yeah, but orcs don't exist doofus" Binky replied.
"I believe the analogy could be carried over to other races as well" Leonard said "mud trolls, for example, are asexual…"
"There will be no discussion of reproduction in this classroom" Ms. Stuart said "at least not until we receive permission from parents to teach it. Now remember, the two of you must share the responsibility of this bag; work out a schedule for each of you to care for it. One of you cannot do the whole report, or you will lose credit."
"How are you going to know if we do?" Binky asked.
"I'll know, trust me" Ms. Stuart said "now, come up and get your bags."
"This is a pretty weird assignment, huh?" Arthur asked Sue Ellen, as they walked down the halls.
"I don't think so, in fact, I think it'll be kind of fun" she replied "and how lucky was it that we got each other as partners?"
"Well, we are boyfriend and girlfriend."
"Exactly" Sue Ellen replied "so this baby thing will be a snap. Okay, I'll keep it first, and then you can come over to my house later and pick it up."
"No problem" Arthur said "I have soccer practice later anyway."
Sue Ellen looked down at the bag of sugar she held in her arms "I think I'll call you Susie."
Later that day, Arthur met Buster, Alan, Binky, & George on the soccer field.
"You guys ready to play?" Binky asked.
"One second, I need to take care of my baby first" George said, setting his bag of sugar down on a nearby bench "okay, he should be safe there."
"Hey Georgiana, don't you want to change into your skirt too?" Binky asked, with the other boys joining him in laughing.
"Very funny you guys, but this assignment is very important" George replied "and I don't want to let Jenna down."
"Man, you are so whipped" Binky said "you do whatever Jenna says."
"Says the guy with no girlfriend" George countered.
"I could get a girlfriend if I wanted" Binky replied "I just don't want to."
"Well you'll never see me with a girl" Buster said "they're nothing more than leeches, draining men of their youth and money, then leaving them shriveled, dried up husks!" Then he noticed the stare that Arthur was giving him "well okay, not all of them. Seriously Arthur, congrats on snagging Sue Ellen, she's a catch."
"Uh huh" Arthur replied disbelievingly "let's just play already."
In the next chapter, two familiar old friends from out of town come to visit.