Call It Off, a l word fanfic

Call It Off

Disclaimer: I do not own anything that is recognizable in this story. If I did I would either be on tour and have a twin (which I don't) or off filming or working on some project for t.v.

It had been four years, four years since she had broken her own heart and the girls she loved. For years she tried to fix that gap by sleeping around, finding relationships, and denying she ever loved her. Nothing ever worked.

She knew anything she ever did would not be enough to fix what she had done, so she ran. She ran and she never returned. She had even gone so far as to change her name so no one could find her. Everything she once was changed. She quit smoking and drinking, finally admitting she had a huge problem. She let go old grudges she felt towards her mother for leaving her, and most of all she stopped her act of being a player after all her failed attempts to fix her heart.

After she finally made the change she started to be different. She wore her glasses all the time now; they became almost a trade mark. Now instead of the short uneven hair it was shoulder length and was layered a bit. Kate Clark, as she was known now, was different in almost every way from Shane McCutcheon.

One Difference was Kate Clark was a part time musician. She had decided to pick up the guitar after the ruined relationship so she could somehow feel closer to Carmen. She knew that someday, somewhere Carmen would hear one of her songs and that made her feel happy. Though there was lost love somehow she would stay connected. That was enough for her to know to keep on living.

For four years she had managed to stay away, and now she was returning to where it all began. She was standing her guitar case in hand waiting for a Taxi. She had been called out by Def Jam records. She was going to be working with a few of their label artists on new songs. She now had to face her past because she was going back to WeHo.

Shane's cab pulled up in front of the Planet. She was meeting one of the Def Jam associates there to discuss more about what she was going to be doing with the label. Her talks with Russell over the phone had seemed to cover everything, but they wanted to make sure no wires would be crossed during the production so they were making double sure everything would run smoothly. Duffle swung over her shoulder and guitar case in hand she entered the café/nightclub that once was an old stomping ground for her.

The inside of the Planet was pretty much the same as it always was. She could see Kit running in the background working on various things. It even smelled exactly the same as it had. This was the place she use to spend as much time in as she did at home, or even maybe more time considering for a few years she was rarely home at all.

A feeling of regret and loss washed over her as she walked through the place, taking a seat at a table she had sat at so many times before. On the side of it was carved 'Shane and Carmen 2006'. She had carved this on the table right before they headed up to Canada. She was so sure that it would end in marriage; she didn't have any reason to think it wouldn't. Her hand tingles as she traced the letters, the feeling of her old life coming through.

"How may I help you?" Kit's voice came from beside her.

Shane smiled, Kit didn't recognize her. "Hey, I'll just have a cup of whatever is your strongest shot of espresso."

Kit nodded, "Kay girl I'll just go get you some now."

It hurt Shane slightly that Kit hadn't recognized her but it was better that way. She had changed a lot, her hair, her lack of eye makeup, she had a different wardrobe, and she did wear glasses all the time now. Though she knew this she felt forgotten, like a bad memory or dream.

As she down her shot in one gulp the memories of the mornings spent in the Planet and the nights were haunting her. She remember ever fling in the bathroom, the breakfasts with Dana and Alice. She was startled when a voice came from behind her that tied all the memories together.

"Kate Clark?" Carmen asked the lanky woman.

Shane nodded her head, stunned. "Yeah I'm Kate, and you must be from Def Jam."

Carmen nodded pulling out a chair to sit in, "Yeah, so let's talk about the deal. You will be signing onto an eighteen month contract, during that time any song you record or write will be distributed by Def Jam. Also because of this you will have access to anyone on our list musicians to work with. We will also supply you with a band so you can start touring. At the end of the contract, or even in the middle of the duration, we will decide if we want to sign a long-term agreement based on performance."

Shane ran her hand through her hair, "I really don't see any problem with the terms of the contract, I went over it thoroughly over the phone and everything seems kosher, so where do I sign?"

Carmen was about to answer when a blur of blonde hair came flying at the table. Alice was standing in front of her table breathless.

"KATE CLARK! Your meeting was with KATE CLARK and you didn't tell me!" Alice said infuriated. For a moment Shane had thought Alice had recognized her.

"Yeah, thanks Alice you just freaked out someone I have to get to sign a contract." Carmen said sarcastically.

Shane laughed, "No, no, it's totally fine. She actually reminds me a lot about a friend I had about six years ago."

Alice smiled, "See, I didn't freak her out," She gave Alice an 'I told you so' look, "Wow, you look a lot like this friend I once had. Hey Carmen, did Shane say she had a sibling?"

Carmen nodded, "Yes, it was a brother though."

Shane smiled slightly, at least they though she looked slightly like her old self. Sadly though, that was dangerous for Shane. As much as she wanted them to it was her there had been too much time passed and too many memories to go back. She was Kate now not Shane.

Alice motioned to her guitar case, "YOU'VE got to play something!"

Shane shook her head, "No, no I only have my acoustic, plus I need a backup singer and all that crap."

Alice started to pull her out of her chair. "Excuses, play 'Call It Off' and I can sing your back up, come on."

Alice then turned to the counter area. "Kit we've got live entertainment in five. We are just going to set up." She yelled.

Alice then pushed Shane off towards the sound equipment in the café leaving Carmen alone at the table alone with Shane's duffle bag. Carmen just banged her head repeatedly on the table, hoping that her friend would not make her lose a client.

Shane stood awkwardly as Alice introduced her. She was never so nervous about playing live before. This place was once her home and she didn't want to embarrass herself in front of the people she once was a close to as sisters were. She took a deep breath and moved closer to the microphone. Her hands were trembling on her guitar causing her strings to ring slightly. She took a deep breath and begun the song.

I won't regret saying this
This thing
That I'm saying
Is it better than
Keeping my mouth shut
That goes without saying
Call, break it off
Call, break my own heart

The performance was going great. Strangely enough Alice was on key when singing the backup part. Somewhere in the background Carmen was swaying back and forth.

Maybe I would have been
Something you'd be good at
Maybe you would have been
Something I'd be good at
But now we'll never know
I won't be sad
But in case
I'll go there
Everyday,
To make myself feel bad
There's a chance
I'll start to wonder
If this was the thing to do

This was always the hardest part for her to sing. It asked all the questions over her relationship with Carmen. She still wondered if leaving her was the best thing to do. Right now it seemed like she had lived a good life, but she still wondered how they would be if they had gotten married that day.

I won't be out long
But I still think it better if
You take your time
Coming over here
I think that's for the best
Call, break it off
Call, break my own heart
Maybe I would have been
Something you'd be good at
Maybe you would have been
Something I'd be good at
But now
We'll never know
I won't be sad
But in case
I'll go there
Everyday,
To make myself feel bad
There's a chance
I'll start to wonder
If this was the thing to do
I'll start to wonder
If this was the thing to do

As the last chord rung she walked up to the microphone. "Thank you, have a good afternoon. I just want to say one thing before I go off to do god knows what. That song is about regret. So don't do anything rashly. I regret what I did still and I probably always will. Maybe the decision was right but I should have thought about it more before just running off." She then gave a little bow and jumped off stage.

She packed up her stuff and walked over towards Carmen. "So, when and where do I sign?"

"You are one of a kind Kate," Carmen said laughing.

*One Day Later*

Carmen was scanning a magazine, trying to figure more out about Kate Clark. Russell had assigned her to assist her and help with the editing of her tracks. She was getting a lot of power placed in her hands and it felt good. So, in order to know how to cater to Kate, she was reading old interviews. The one she was currently reading was Kate's big break through interview with Rolling Stone.

Q: What made you become a musician, did you do anything before?

A: Well, I felt like shit about something, so I became a musician. Before that I basically did every job out there. Though I had a long stint as a hairdresser in L.A; I was one for about three years.

Q: The song 'Call It Off' is always followed by you warning people to think over their decisions. Want to shed any light onto why?

A: Well back a few years ago I mad e this stupid-ass decision that probably did a lot of harm to the people I love, it might have been the right decision, or maybe the wrong decision, but whatever it was I acted on it in the wrong way and broke so many hearts. So I warn people to think it over so they can at least act on their thoughts rationally instead of just running off.

Q: I heard you are playing at the proud parade here in New York. Anything you would like to share?

A: Yes, yes I am in fact a gold star lesbian. So what, I like women.

Q: Anyway, recently with your recent hit people have been investigating into the past of Kate Clark, but many of these investigations turn up with nothing. Why is there not any record of a Kate Clark before two -thousand and six?

A: Wasn't named Kate then.

Q: Would you like to elaborate?

A: No. My past is something I am not proud of. I was a real mother-fucker then, actually; quite literally sometimes.

Q: So what does your family think about your recent breakthrough?

A: Don't have any. I was placed in foster care when I was about nine. Last time I even saw my mother was when I was seventeen and that was about thirteen years ago now.

Q: Anyone from your past life at all that you consider family?

A: Yes, but I lost contact with them a few years ago.

Q: Do you have any siblings?

A: Yes, I have at least two brothers. Though, knowing my father I probably have like sixty half siblings. He was a real bastard the few times a met him.

Carmen finished the interview. She felt the familiarity fill her. She was so like Shane in so many ways, but she couldn't be. She was completely different. Her different hair, didn't smoke, and according to her past interviews didn't drink. No way could Kate Clark be Shane.

The door of the studio she was in flung open. At the door was Kate Clark. She stood her hair in a beanie, her red jacket askew. She was panting heavily like she had run a great distance.

"Hide Me!" She whispered urgently as she jumped behind a panel of sound equipment. As she did this a group of reporters flashed past the door. Once she was sure they were gone she came back out and closed the door to the studio.

"Thank you." She said slumping against the door, as though to make sure if they came back she could keep them out.

Carmen moved towards her, "Well Ms. Clark, I think since I helped you I should get three questions that no matter what you give me the true answer to."

"Only if they are not about really deep personal things, then sure," She answered.

Carmen smiled and shook her hand. "First question, where and when were you born?"

Shane smiled, "Plano Texas on December fifteenth, nineteen seventy-nine."

*Five Weeks Later*

Q: So Kate how did you come to sign onto Def Jam?

A: Russell gave my manager, my lovely friend Anna, a call and asked if I was interested in leaving my punk rock roots in New York and coming and expanding my roots here in L.A.

Q: Now on the issue of why you started to play music, when did you start and why?

A: Well I started learning how to play about four years ago now. This is something I haven't said before, but I just faced a nasty split with a girlfriend of mine that I was set to marry. The song Call It Off was actually the first song I wrote and it was inspired by it.

Q: So are you dating anyone?

A: Not so much of a dating type of person

Q: So how does it feel to be up for a Grammy?

A: UN-fucking-believable. I never thought I would make it this far. At first music was a hobby, a way I could stay somehow connected to my past life, but to think now that I've gone from a girl who shared a room till she was twenty-five to a girl who bought a nice house in WeHo off of one hit song on her album's profits is amazing.

Q: A lot of your songs are about love and loss. Who would you say inspired that theme?

A: My friends from way back, my dad, hell, even my own failed relationship. The love and loss comes from my two friends mostly though. They were together for years and then one of them has a moment of weakness and it all falls apart. Then they had a kid and were together again and then the love was lost again and everything went totally haywire. The hatred though in my music has only two sources. A lot of it is self hatred, but some of it is directed at my father and mother. Recently, though, it has just been directed towards my father.

Q: So what's next on your agenda for your career?

A: Well I suppose to head out to a church out somewhere in Northern California

Q: What song?

A: Call It Off. The whole music video is taking place at a failed wedding ceremony.

Shane stood in a tux at a wedding reception drinking from her glasses. She stared off into the distance, singing. She kept staring until the director screamed cut.

"Good job Kate, now we are done with your solo parts. We need to move onto you and the bride. So, guys bring out the bride." The director Keith said.

After awhile of waiting a flustered intern came flying out of the dressing area. He ran up to the director. Fear was evident in his eyes.

"Sir," he said, "The bride has disappeared."

The director looked like he was about to explode, "Find someone else that is a size six. We need to shoot today or the video will be delayed and my ass will be fired.

The intern spoke up, "The only woman on set that could possible fit the dress height wise and weight is Ms. Morales."

Shane's face quickly changed, "Find someone else. I don't think my boss and your boss would like her to be in the video. She just manages my affairs; I doubt she would want to be in a video about a failed engagement."

Just as she said this Carmen came out. She was holding a cup of coffee and her sun glasses were blocking the harsh rays of the sun.

"What?" She asked as she passed the crew.

The director piped up and explained, "Well our bride disappeared and we cannot find another extra that fits the requirements for the dress, but you Ms. Morales fit it perfectly."

Carmen looked down and pulled her sunglasses off. "Are you sure?" The interne nodded. "Suit me up, we have a video to film," She said.

Shane stood in her blazer at the end of isle. It was like she was facing her past. Carmen stood at the end in the beautiful white dress.

'Is this what she looked like that day?' she wondered in her head. 'No, no Shane don't think about it just move forward, come on."

Shane started walking down the aisle, turning around and walking backwards softly singing the lyrics to the song as she made her way down the aisle. She was trying hard to avoid the track that she was walking over. Finally she turned around and made her way to Carmen. She took her by the hands. They fake fought for a minute before ending it with Carmen throwing her hands in the air.

Carmen had tears rolling down her face. She was using the memories of her own broken engagement to fuel her acting. She was starting to see Shane standing there instead of Kate. It was freaky though that she had to change so little about Kate to make her into Shane. It didn't help that Kate seemed to be using the same expressions as Shane always did when she was upset.\

Finally the director yelled cut and all the filming for the video was over. Carmen was never so happy to be done with work for the day. Today had just brought up too many memories for her to be comfortable with the situation. It was funny how well the song fit her relationship with Shane.

As she jumped into her jeep she saw Kate still in the parking lot of the church. She was sitting on the hood of her convertible. She was staring at the stars above her head occasionally lifting a hand to trace the constellations. She looked troubled and tears were running slowly down her cheeks. Her glasses were slightly fogged up from the tears and her eyes had a glassy distant look to them,

Carmen took her eyes out of the ignition and walked over towards where she was. She stopped about six feet from the woman and said, "Hey, you okay?"

"No, not really," Shane responded, "I feel like a total tool."

Carmen took an interest and joined the woman on the hood of her car.

"Why do you feel like a tool?" She asked.

Shane shifted slightly so she could look into Carmen's eyes, "I think you know why."

Carmen looked at her; her eyes were full of pain and torment for the loss of which she had created. She took Kate's face into her hands.

"Hey, hey don't hide those eyes." She said tilting her chin up. In the starlight she looked and felt so much like Shane, but she couldn't be. Shane disappeared years ago and was never heard from again. If Shane was in any position of well-being she would at least call Alice or even maybe Jenny, but she hadn't she had gone off the radar instead. She felt somewhere deep inside Shane had returned to her drunken, drug abusing ways from before. If she was at all acting sane she would have called.

Something that Carmen thought had died within her the day Shane left was stirring in her. Somehow, someway. Kate was bringing her back. She didn't know what her feelings towards the woman were, but she knew that it was more than just friendship. The question was whether her feelings were of lust, like, or even maybe love. She couldn't tell anymore what she truly felt; all she knew was that she was extremely attracted towards Kate Clark.

IN one rash action she threw all of her cares away. She started leaning in closer to Kate. Finally the gap between the women was gone and lips and bodies met in a heated kiss. She felt as Kate tongue slipped into her mouth. She moaned loudly under the woman above her. She loved every moment until Kate withdrew herself from above her body.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that," Shane said.

Shane jumped off the hood of the car. She couldn't let her past feelings get in the way. She couldn't masquerade around Carmen as though she was a different person, hiding who she truly was. She jumped into the front seat and started up her car, but before she could pull away Carmen's voice rang through the air.

"Kate," She yelled, "I want to use my second question."

She turned off the ignition, "Shoot."

Carmen took a deep breath before taking the plunge. "How do you feel about me?"

Shane looked directly in Carmen's eyes. She couldn't lie one more time to those beautiful brown eyes. She knew she had to answer truthfully.

"I love you, and that is the reason I have to leave you alone. I am too broken for you and all I will cause you is more pain." She said turning on the ignition again and this time driving away leaving Carmen alone in the parking lot.

Q: Have you ever done drugs or given into the rock star life style like so many do after they have a hit?

A: Funny thing is I lived the rock star life before I became one. Back when I was twenty five I drank, smoked, did drugs, and slept with practically anything that moved.

Q: But now?

A: Haven't smoked in nearly four years, haven't had a drop of alcohol since two thousand and six, stopped drugs the same year, and well I haven't slept with anyone in over four years.

Q: So what did you replace all these habits with? How did you drop all of them all at once?

A: I started working out seven days a week whenever I felt the urge for any of them. Then music came in to help and then well I found all these past times that kept my mind busy. I haven't had the urge to smoke in three years. So I think it worked pretty well.

Q: What else did you start to keep your mind busy?

A: Expanding my vocabulary, singing lessons, dance classes, art classes, volunteer work, and I went to therapy to work out the reasons why I was addicted to sex and all that shit.

Q: So when is your next album due to be release?

A: Well John, it is due out in June, but I am going to start plugging the album in a month and that involves playing a lot of the shit on it on TV shows, so I expect you will all know every song by the time its release

Q: When is the tour starting for the Album?

A: Same time, June.

Q: So are you already writing stuff for the next album.

A: Yeah, I actually just finished the second song I writing for the album. I expect that it will be finished late next year or early the year after. It is going to be completely different in tone.

Q: How so?

A: It is more hopeful. You see it is more of my old self coming in and influencing me currently. It is like, this album, Up and Over is like me as Kate, the next Album is the past me. WeHo has just resurfaced all this past shit that I have built up over the ages.

Q: When are we likely to hear one of the songs off the next record?

A: Actually I am scheduled for a song to be performed on Ellen. It is going to be one of my new pieces. This is going to be the first and last time you are going to hear it before the release of the song.

Q: Why are you playing the song then?

A: It is a message.

Q: To whom?

A: Wouldn't you like to know.

The lights in the studio were blinding. Heat was rising in her body and her hands were becoming clammy. The sea of people in front of her staring expectantly, waiting for her introduction.

"Today I have a very special guest. At the age of thirty-one she has a hit song. She has only been in the music business for three years and already she is a talented musician. It is my pleasure to introduce the wonderful Kate Clark!"

Shane stepped up to the mic and the first chord of the song rung and drums began to play. After the short introduction it was time for her to sing.

It's sad when I can stand the truth

Can't express the way I feel

I know this hurts you so

But I can't let you go

So up and down we go again

This feeling it still burns

Just like it did that day

When we first met, when we first loved

This love I feel

For you and only you

I tried to burn, I try to run

But everything

Leads back to you

And nothing can be done or said

For I have already fallen again

So now's the time to ask

Now's the time to ask

It was four years ago

I left you in the snow

All alone and heartbroken

How can I make this up

Turn back the hands of time

And bring you back

And bring you back to me

It's hard to say

But I know the words are right

'Cause I never stopped loving you

This love I feel

For you and only you

I tried to burn, I try to run

But everything

Leads back to you

And nothing can be done or said

For I have already fallen again

So now's the time to ask

Now's the time to ask

I sit now in this burnt out shell

A former image of me

Nothing seems to quail

The anger I feel still

But self hatred is not the way

How can I take this back

Bring back the past

And be with you, be with you

This love I feel

For you and only you

I tried to burn, I try to run

But everything

Leads back to you

And nothing can be done or said

For I have already fallen again

So now's the time to ask

Now's the time to ask

Is sorry enough

As the final note rang she put down her guitar and ran to the couch area and took a seat across from Ellen DeGeneres. She took a second to compose herself before the interview began.

"So Kate, this is your first studio album?" Ellen asked blue eyes meeting her own green.

She nodded, "First studio album, first everything. I mean, this is like the whole beginning of my career. Several months ago I was releasing my single with an indie label and then a few weeks later I get a call from Def Jam and they want to buy me out of my indie roots."

Ellen nodded, "So what you're a press virgin?"

Shane gave a laugh and ruffled her hair. "No, no a few years ago before I got into the whole music scene I did a Hugo Boss ad and, well, I was pretty popular for a little while."

"Oh, that's right I saw that ad , wow I mean wow, I saw your billboard and thought, 'Man I've got to get a pair of that underwear if it makes her stomach look that good.' I think my entire dating life was saved by that billboard. What was the saying, 'You look very Shane today?' Was that the saying?" Ellen asked.

Shane ruffled her hair. She hadn't expected the ad to bring so much attention. Sure she had done it under the name of Kate Clark, but the photographer had known her back when she was Shane McCutcheon. No matter what she couldn't get him to change the fact he wanted to make Shane a household name.

"Err.. Yeah, it was. There actually is a story behind the saying that I am not allowed to tell due to my contract so, well, I can't really tell you." Shane said as she removed her glasses from her face.

Ellen tried to scoot her chair up closer, "Come on, I'll never tell. Just whisper it into my ear."

Shane just laughed and shook her head. "Well, Ellen do you have any questions I can answer?"

"Why yes, yes I do. So your hit that launched your career was Call It Off. What was that song about? Was it about a lost sandwich or something?" Ellen asked all too seriously.

Shane smirked, "Yes, it is about this delightful sandwich I had at this lovely nightclub/café in WeHo. No, no it is actually about me doing something really darn stupid. See, there was this girl I was going to marry, she was the love of my life. I chickened out the day of the ceremony and left her alone at the altar. I think the video of the song is actually ninety percent of the story. It is just missing some of the characters," She finished sadly

Ellen smiled in sympathy, "Well, it's been a pleasure to talk to you. When we get back from the break you and I will be playing a game."

The studio crowd cheered. Shane stood up out of her chair. Today was going to be a long day.

Love was something she was never good at. She always had issues which caused her to majorly fuck it up. If she was asked to describe her sex life in one word it would be nonexistent. She couldn't do anything to get back in the old groove. She loved that Latina woman too much to move on.

Shane stood on the edge of her chair. She was in a radio studio preparing to do her live performance, which was to be broadcasted around the country by all of the radio station's associates. Being there, doing the performance was nothing, but the person watching her that was a whole different story.

Carmen de la pica Morales had been following her everywhere as of late. It was putting Shane on the edge. She wasn't sure of anything anymore. Who was she at that moment in her eyes, Kate or Shane? It was a totally fucked up situation that she had no control over.

It was something she was totally unsure of it was miraculous and new but she didn't want to give it up. Being in the same room as her, breathing the same air, it was intoxicating. Memories of the past filled all the waking corners of her mind filling her being with some internal peace. Those feelings scared her. She couldn't go back, she couldn't be Shane again. She had thrown that life away without a second thought, now she had to live the pain she was receiving because she had thrown that life away.

She took a deep breathe as Carmen's voice came over the intercom telling her they would be going live in a minute. She pulled out a hair tie and pulled her hair back out of the way so it wouldn't be in the way. She wondered why she had let her hair grown out so long; it had just become a nuisance as of late.

'You haven't cut it since you got sober,' She thought, 'You wanted it to be a sign that you had changed and left those old ways behind.'

The voice of the DJ of the station came on.

"Hello, I am sitting here with the lovely Kate Clark today. In about a minute she will be playing us one of her new songs from her debut album 'Saying I'm Sorry'. So here we go welcome Kate Clark." He said.

Softy her guitar began to ring as her fingers plucked the strings. Her face contorted to one of pain as she remembered the story of why she wrote the song. It hurt to feel it, to remember the pain of the drugs, alcohol, and the meaningless sex that had been her vice for so long.

The wind in on the bay

Sends me the feeling

The calling of you

From across the sea

I'm here standing here

With my hand on my heart

Feeling what I threw away

Nothing makes sense

Nothing makes true

Who the hell am I

A fucking hypocrite

I write about lost love

When I threw it away

Who the hell am I

All I know is I am standing here

Telling the tale of a lost love

That I cause to part

How do you go back

How do you restart

And get rid of the pain

I threw it all away

I threw us in the trash

And now I am singing and writing

Hoping you'll hear

The truth that I am spewing

To make me feel better

About what I did to you

To you

To us

To you

When she finished the DJ came back in, "This is KBR rock. Thank you for listening. We will return in just a quick minute."

Shane stood up and picked up her guitar and left the sound studio. As she exited Carmen was waiting for her outside the door holding a coffee cup.

"Hey," she said handing her the coffee, " You were great."

Shane took a sip, "Thanks."

She shook her head a bit and the pony tail that was holding her hair moved off her neck.

Carmen took a step closer, "Hey, what's that on the back of your neck?"

Shane's eyes widened with fear, "Uh, it's nothing. Just an old tattoo I had done years ago."

She put down her hair and started to walk away, but a hand jetted out and grabbed her own and pulled her back to her. Carmen pulled her to face her.

"Why are you ruining? What are you hiding?" She asked brushing the hair away from Shane's face.

Shane fidgeted, "Carmen, all this will cause you is pain. Don't pursue this, please don't. Just let me go, just let me get a different supervisor. We can forget this happened. I'll move away, I'll never return and you can continue living your perfect life."

Carmen just held her closer. She brushed away the hair on the back of Shane's neck revealing the tattoo. She ran her finger over it, tracing the wedding ring like shape.

She then whispered into Shane's ear, "Why would I let someone I love disappear again?"

Carmen then covered Shane's lips with her own. The feeling of it was driving Shane nuts. It was life the best drug in the world, except this high, if she managed not to screw up again, would last forever.

She broke the kiss, "Why are you yelling at me, why are you just accepting this?"

Carmen looked at her, her brown eyes pulling her in closer, making her feel home. "because dumbass, I spent years waiting for you. I spent years wanting to do this. You disappeared, just ran off and I never got to tell you how angry I was at you, but over time I realized it was disappointment, disappointment that the woman I loved might not love me back. Then, when I heard your song, I started to realize that you did love me and that you regretted everything. Somehow I always knew it was you, but seeing the tattoo, it confirmed everything."

Shane for the first time pulled her closer. "You know, you're an amazing person."

Carmen took her by the hand and started pulling her towards the exit. They left the studio hand in hand leaving the past behind and moving into the future.

As she stirred from sleep and for the thousandth time in the past year felt a warm body next to her. Shane smiled to herself, snuggling closer towards the warm back that was on the other side of the bed. She kissed Carmen's neck softly before taking a glance at the clock on the table next to the bed. It read eight thirty-five.

"Hey babe it's time to wake up." She said gently shaking Carmen.

Carmen moaned, "What time is it?"

"Eight thirty-five, dear." She responded.

Carmen jumped out of bed, "Shit! I was suppose to meet Alice, Bette. Tina, and well everyone at eight thirty."

Shane got out of bed. She pulled on her pants and a shirt. She pulled a comb through her hair and deemed herself okay to leave the house.

She grabbed her keys off the table, "Then let's go babe."

They took a short ride from Shane's apartment in upper WeHo to the planet. The drive was filled with off-key singing and joking as the old relationship which was feeble became a strong one. As they pulled in front of the planet they could see an impatient Alice waiting at a table near the front. As they entered her face turned to a glower directed at Shane.

"I guess you were the one who delayed her." She said to Shane.

Shane stuffed her hands in her pocket. "Yeah, I kept her pretty busy. In fact we were so busy we decided we just drop in say hello and leave not telling you that I was about to ask you to be my best man/woman."

Alice's jaw dropped, "Seriously Kate, you want me? We haven't really been that great of friends, I have only known you for about a year and a half."

Shane nodded her head. "Absolutely. I don't really have that many friends and I haven't kept in contact with people from my old life and well, you have been a great friend to me and Carmen. Since Helena is going to be a bridesmaid and so is Jenny I thought you might like to be my best man."

Alice hugged Shane squeezing her tight. "THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!"

Shane stood at the end of the isle. She was here finally after eight years of delay. She felt her heart twinge as Carmen came down the aisle with her mother, who was smiling brilliantly. She knew the truth and yet she was still happy her daughter was marrying her.

Alice tapped her shoulder, "You are one lucky mother-fucker, you know that Kate?"

She nodded and gave her attention back to Carmen. She was now standing across from her. They both turned towards the minister,

"We have gathered here to celebrate the union of two individuals. Under the eyes of god they are here to professor their intention to be forever. Carmen de la pica Morales, do you take Ms. McCutch-.." She was cut off.

"WHAT!" yelled Alice in shock.

The minister cleared her throat, "Hmmm. Ms. McCutcheon as your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do," She said immediately.

The minister then turned to shame, "Do you Shane McCutcheon take Carmen de la pica Morales as your lawfully wedded wife?"

Shane turned to the audience. "I most certainly do."

The judge smiled, "I then by the power invested in me by the state of Massachusetts declare you wife and wife. The brides may now kiss."

Shane pulled Carmen into a dipping kiss. She then grabbed her hand and ran down the aisle, listening to the wolf whistles and cheers as they left. Once they got past the exit they jumped into a limo and headed towards the reception. Well, after celebrating finally getting through a wedding.