Title: Stop
Author: Kate aka blowninbythewind
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I do not own these people. That's illegal.
Author's Note: For Kim aka mamatots (Sorry, it took a while.)
Summary: Heather explains to Naya the reasoning behind removing her implants that Naya had no idea about.
Naya flows in through Heather's apartament door like a gush of water filling a gutter during a flood. The door is slammed open and then Naya melts into the room gently as if she's trying to make some kind of statement.
Heather knows it's just natural for her to do that as the brunette begins calling out various nicknames before setting down the bowl of guacamole, that of which Ashley quickly gathers up to bring to the kitchen for her own consumption. The half-Latina laughs before calling to Ashley that the guac is for the cast members coming over for a season premiere viewing party.
"I'm an honorary cast member," Ashley calls back before bringing another chip to her mouth. "You all love me."
Naya rolls her eyes before turning back to the blonde. "So, when is everybody coming over?"
"They're not." Heather states bluntly, her face blank.
"What do you mean they're not?" Naya asks increduously. "I thought everybody but Dianna could make it."
Heather shrugs, the guilt obvious on her face. "I never actually invited them...I just hoped that you and I could have some time alone."
"Then what was the point of telling me they were ever coming in the first place?" Naya questions, her growing confusion clear.
The blonde fidgets. "I know, it's stupid...I just thought you would be more willing to come over if I had said I invited the others?"
Naya stifles a laugh. "Why would you think that?"
Heather rolls her eyes to the back of her head. "I don't know. I just..."
That half-Latina sits down on the couch. "You're stupid, and you know I mean that in the best way possible. Tell me what's wrong."
"Nothing's wrong."
"Clearly there is."
Heather takes a seat next to Naya and Naya presses a quick kiss to her lips to encourage her. The blonde recoils and Naya replaces her happy eyes with nervous ones.
"C'mon, Bee."
Heather hesitates. "I just felt like it was the right thing. There were so many nasty rumours going around and they hurt and I just..."
"Rumours about what, Heather?"
"About...the implants."
Naya eyes scan Heather's body curiously. "Umm...maybe I'm being oblivious, but what implants? I didn't think you ever got any. Y'know, au natural in terms of your body."
Heather grabs the shorter woman's hands and places them on her chest.
"I'm not going to lie, this is kind of awkward in the middle of your living room. I mean..." Naya comments, but stops before she sees Heather's pleading eyes.
"Please, Nay. Just..."
"Oh God, you got...You had..."
"I thought I wanted them," the taller woman cuts Naya off, her voice tingling with the fear of being judged that Naya heard immediately.
"Just tell me. I'm not going to judge you," Naya whispers. "I love you. I just didn't expect it from you."
Heather takes Naya's hand and focuses on Naya's fingers to distract herself. "Y'know, as a dancer, I was always just insecure. It started with Beyoncé. I knew that I would have to do something to get in with her."
She takes a breath. "I'd always thought I wanted them. Then I got them and they hurt and I didn't feel good. It just didn't feel right.
"Anyways, I just kept with it because I knew that it would be obvious if I got them removed and that would cause all kind of hate and controversy."
Naya shakes her head fiercely. "How could anybody ever hate you?"
"I'm such a bad person. I did it just so I could get farther in the business. I just did it for me. And I know that it would make me sound like a prostitue or something if I didn't for somebody else. It's just, I always say that the best thing is confidence when in reality I don't really have any. In fact, I just sound selfish."
Naya wants to cry at the utter brokeness in the blonde's voice. "You're not a bad person," she whispers. "You're not a bad person."
Heather sniffs. "It's just, I couldn't take it anymore. They were painful and I knew that I needed them for the concert for Brittany, but I vowed to myself that after that I would get them removed. I just...I just don't know. And then Fitness Magazine found out when somehow I let it slip during the interview, and then I was so ashamed. I sounded like somebody insecure and ashamed of herself. But the truth was, Naya, I was. And I'm even more ashamed for that."
"Stop it!" the brunette cries out before Heather keeps going. "You're beautiful. You need to stop. I still think that you're beautiful and sexy, and that even if you weren't, I would still love you because you're you."
A tear trails down Heather's cheek as she shakes her head.
Naya pulls the blonde's head into her chest and strokes her hair. "Stop it. Just stop telling yourself that because you're beautiful. You're beautiful and I love you."