Chig

by Gadhar

SLASH,SLASH,SLASH,SLASH,SLASH,SLASH,SLASH,SLASH, SLASH,SLASH,SLASH,SLASH,SLASH,SLASH. Well more like fluff but whatever. Chibs/Tig ergo Chig. Don't read unless you're into this stuff, and don't say I didn't warn you.

DISCLAIMER: EVERYTHING IN THIS FANFIC BELONGS TO KURT SUTTER AND ANYONE ASSOCIATED WITH SONS OF ANARCHY! THE ORIGINAL STORYLINE BELONGS TO ME. EVERYTHING ELSE-CHARACTERS AND IDEA IS KURT'S THE MASTER!

A/N: So no idea where this came from. It will probably turn into a story there's not much slash in this but whatever, it's mostly fluff….sorta. I might change the rating if it gets serious. Felt a bit awkward during some parts, so I dunno let me know.

Warnings: Some allusion to child abuse, nothing to graphic. m/m slash- just a bit of kissing.

Prompt: Nightmares

Tig had shown up at his door-beat to hell, high, shitfaced, and soaked to the bone.

"Jesus, what the hell happened bro-?" the words weren't even out of his mouth as Tigs lips came crashing down on his. His yells of protests getting lost in the other mans mouth. He didn't know what to do; he was a mass of confusion. His head was telling him to shove Tig away, to punch him, to scream, to yell, to hit, anything. But his heart thought something else entirely. It was telling him to wrap his arms around Tig, to pull the man closer, to accept the comfort he was offering Lord knows he needed it.

But instead he just stood there, muscles stiff and tense. His feet just froze and he didn't do a thing didn't even blink.

Tig pulled away suddenly and Chibs' mouth felt artic, something akin to regret was on Tig's face. "Shit." Tig turned away on his heel, making a beeline for the door.

Chibs reached out for him, it was a reaction, no thought whatsoever. But he tripped on his own feet and started to fall, hands flailing in search for something to grab onto, his fingers grazing the back of Tigs cut, his hand found Tigs wrist and he was dragged along. Both men went down, Tig landing on top of Chibs.

Another awkward moment, coffee brown and ocean blue, a sparkling glint in each. Then Chibs was pulling himself off the ground, not ashamed but confused. He didn't know what he wanted. Tig grabbed his pants leg causing Chibs to turn, "Please, I need this." Face hard, serious expression, nothing but pain and want in his eyes. He looked so... vulnerable, on his knees like that, and Chibs could feel his dick twinge in want, want for Tig to wrap that trashy mouth of his around Chibs' member and suck.

But no, he wouldn't- couldn't do that. So he turned and walked away heading toward his bedroom. "You should go Alex." he whispered.

'Alex' not what he intended to say but it was out of his mouth before he could stop it. And it felt, right, good, the way it rolled off his tongue.

He was barely in the room when his body twisted abruptly and his face collided with the wall, a trickle of blood escaping his mouth.

"Don't. Ignore. Me." a growl from behind him, a weight pressing down where his neck meets back. In attempt to respond he merely spat a large amount of blood, the crimson spluttering from his lips.

There was a sharp intake of breath and suddenly he was free to move. He turned around slowly to see Tig pacing back and forth head bowed hands tangled in his hair. His face creased. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." was all Chibs could make out, though there might have been an "I'm sorry" or two.

But this was Tig, Tig! What was with the mood changes? Tig glanced up at Chibs and stopped pacing. There was fear in his eyes, and he looked small- childlike, he looked as though he had seen some horrific event and Chibs could tell by the look in Tig's eyes that he wasn't there, at least not mentally. Chibs took a step forward, then another, hand reached out, he frowned when Tig flinched away taking quick steps back, his frown deepening as Tig fell back on the bed and continued to scurry away from Chibs.

Chibs was utterly confused, Tig was caught in a nightmare, and he could see that, there was no man in front of him just a scared little kid.

Tig pressed himself hard against the headboard, head smashing into the wall, and he kept pushing like somehow he would be able to push a hole right through. Chibs kneeled on the bed still moving forward, and then he wrapped his arms around Tig. With some difficulty at first, Tig did not want to be touched and his arms flailed about as did his legs giving Chibs a punch or two to the face and a kick to the gut. But then Chibs got his burly arms wrapped around the other mans chest, pinning his arms, and pulled him close against his body.

Tig struggled the whole time, even with his arms restrained. Chibs fell back from his knees onto his ass, bringing his knees up and wrapping his legs loosely around Tig as well in case he succeeded in escaping the Scotsman's grasp. Chibs yanked at Tig again as the leaner man managed to pull away just a little. He forced Tig into sitting, his back against Chibs chest, legs stretched out in front of him with one of Chibs legs over top each his own.

And he continued to squirm, and fight, he had broke out into a sweat, shaking uncontrollably and in his mind he wasn't there, at the Scots apartment, with Chibs arms wrapped around him. Instead his mother's voice floated in his ear whispering, it was just another nightmare. Or was it? He couldn't tell anymore. Between nightmares and reality. His life awake was the same as the things nightmares were made of so the two tended to coincide, especially with the abuse. So maybe this time hadn't been real, he would never remember anyway. But there were always other times, other real times. And he had the marks to prove it- everywhere.

Chibs watched Tig curiously; he had never seen the man so, frail, before. And Tig continued to struggle; Chibs could hear the joints popping and the bones cracking with the effort. He tightened his grip intent on cutting off the blood flow if that's what he had to do to get Tig to stop.

"Calm down yeh crazy bastard before you rip your arms off. Come on boy-o, come back to me eh?" Tig stopped squirming in his hold after a few moments but he was still shaking uncontrollably. Chibs moved his arms into a more comforting position, still holding Tig tight, rocking him back and forth slowly. "That's it. Calm down. Its okay, yeh're fine now. Yeh're alright. I got yeh. And I ain't gonna let go, okay? Promise. Just relax Alex. Just relax. Its over, its over. He's gone now. Yeh're safe, yeh're safe, Alex. Yeh're safe and mine, and yeh're here with me. Safe."

Tig stopped shaking though he shivered slightly and his body was a cold weight in Chibs arms. But the man's labored breathing had eased, relaxed and slowed into a regular pattern and Chibs could tell he was asleep. But he was afraid to let Tig go, to let Alex go. Afraid that he wouldn't be there when he lost contact, afraid that he would be gone when he woke up or would revert back into a child as he was consumed by memories. So Chibs stayed. He sat there, Tig in his arms, cradling his head and rubbing circles on his back, rocking him, back and forth, pressing the occasional kiss into his curls, humming some Scottish tune with a name long forgotten. Listening to the other man breathe.

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His eyes flicked open to stare at a gray wall, his head hurt, throbbed even. It made him feel unsteady. His muscles were stiff, tense and bunched up. He stretched his arms as far as he could...or at least he tried to. They wouldn't move, they were glued to his sides almost.

It was this moment where he became aware of someone near him, holding him. "What the fuck?" Everything seemed to hit him at once all his senses came alive and now he cold feel new arms around him, the legs over top his, the moving chest that supported him and the soft breathing of someone.

His mind went into overdrive now, where was he? What happened? How did he get here? Who was he with? He tried to remember but nothing came to mind. Every time he tried, his mind was just a mess of colors from blurred images and trying too hard made his whole head swim, his body ache, and his stomach churn with some deep-seated fear. He broke out into a sweat, suddenly feeling sick, his skin on fire, he didn't remember hangovers ever being like this but if this is what hangovers where like now he was never drinking again.

Everything started to get dark, like the shadows were moving, getting closer. Tig felt a sharp burn on his arm, one he hadn't felt in a long time. The realization shot through him like lighting, he could hear his mother sobbing in the background, and hear the smack of leather on skin. Another cry, skin stinging again, tears flowing from his eyes. This couldn't be real! He's suppose to be dead! Then his head jolted to the left as the belt came raining down on him. Burning slaps everywhere, on his arms, legs, torso, head, and face. He let out a cry of pain as another blow hit him above the eye. He tried to get up, to stand, he threw himself to the side, whole body moving with momentum. If he could just get away, just far enough to stand and run, he could leave.

He was pulled sharply by his hair, head sapping back to stare his father in the eyes. The burning hate that was there was enough to melt whatever resolve he had left. He crumbled in is father's grasp as the man smacked him again, over and over. Yelling in rage, calling him every degrading thing under the sun.

He closed his eyes, the tears made it impossible to see anyway. He curled up in the fetal position, hands over his head protectively as the belt stung his skin over and over, he could feel blood slicking his skin, but his father wouldn't stop. All young Alex could do was press himself against the wall, and then he heard a cry, one that sounded vaguely familiar. He didn't know who made it and he didn't care the very sound had made him snap, he launched out a fist catching something and hearing them grunt.

Completely blind he kept swinging, all limbs flailing in the fierce but small hope of escaping. He felt hands grab his shoulders and shake him but he wasn't deterred he was getting somewhere, he could hear curses and cries of pain.

Then he was slammed into the wall and he shouted screamed, terrified. Then he hit the floor, hard, the wind getting knocked out of him and he couldn't breath, something was over his mouth. He felt a heavy weight across his chest and on is legs. He was restrained, couldn't move. But if they were gonna kill him then they were gonna have to work for it. He started to bite at what covered his mouth, arched his whole body up trying to gain leverage, and he let the very fear that shook him to his bones loose and squirmed and fought tooth and nail.

"Tig! Tig!" That voice again, the one from earlier.

"Tig! Fucking quit it!" This voice sounded agitated, but not like his father's. It was a man's voice yes but, who?

"Jesus Christ boy, STOP!" He did, not completely but he stopped squirming so much though he still shook.

"Yes that's it. Just calm down." He suddenly could breathe, whatever was over his face was gone. He kept his eyes shut didn't want to know what was about to happen, and then he felt a soft touch on the side of his face, and it freaked him out. He jumped to the defensive again, shaking and trying to break from this persons hold.

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His quick mood change surprised Chibs and Tig managed to crawl out from under him, clawing his way across the floor. Chibs pulled Tig back to him, grabbing his kicking legs and dragging him back, he got on top of Tig again grabbing his arms pinning them behind his back and sitting on his thighs to stop him from kicking. Pressing Tigs face hard into the floor. The man jolting under him, trying to buck him off. He moved one of his knees into the middle of Tigs back, hearing the man gasp underneath him as he continued to fight.

"God damn." he whispered, this wasn't how he intended the morning to go. This isn't how he wanted to see Tig. It scared the shit out of him to see Tig like this and have no idea how to help him. But he was sure if he let go, Tig would do something stupid, as long as he was trapped in this hellish nightmare it was all too possible for him to hurt someone or worse himself. In a disturbed sense he was glad that he had to fight a hung-over, nightmare caught, childlike Tig. If he was fighting the man with all his wits about him he'd most certainly lose.

"Tig, boy listen to me. Yeh gotta relax, calm down. Yeh'll be okay." his assurances were met with nothing but more struggling. Again it started to worry him when the joints started popping and bones cracking and it wasn't a comforting sound when he pressed his knee deeper into Tig's back only to hear the man let out a loud half yell half sob and see tears streaming down his face. Shit. What was he suppose to do?

"Tig please. Stop. Stop. I'm not gonna hurt you! Just please stop fighting me." He could hear the desperation in his own voice and he only hoped Tig heard it to.

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He had gotten away, just one moment of freedom and he fucked it up, he was done. His father was gonna kill him this time, murder him. And for once he didn't care, let it happen. It didn't matter whoever was talking before they obviously failed in whatever they were trying to accomplish.

"STOP!" He did, body froze in place, and his breath sounded harsh against the floor. His back felt numb, so did his arms and his shoulders burned with the strain of keeping them behind his back. He let out a deep breath, trying to stop shaking, if he was gonna die he wasn't gonna be a scared little kid.

The weight on his back was gone with a creak of the floor, and he tentatively rolled to his side, groaning as his whole body protested. He felt a hand on his shoulder and he jumped, still scared and then the hands grabbed both his shoulders and someone's hot breath was on his face.

He felt the urge to run, stronger than ever and he moved his hands ready to push against the floor. But then the hands were on his wrists pinning his hands to the ground, and someone was sitting on his legs again though not with all their weight this time.

"No. Alex, no, stop." he turned his head away. "No, no, hey, listen to me." he kept his head turned and bowed. "ALEX!" his head snapped up, 'Alex' it struck a chord within him, and he knew that was his name, but this time...

"Open yeh're eyes." Tig shook his head.

"Open. Yeh're. Eyes." The voice was sterner now, but soft. Tig couldn't help but oblige. Everything was blurry for a moment, he could see the gray blob of someone in front of him. He blinked the tears away. Finally making out the face of the scarred fellow sitting on him. Tig was confused, he wasn't sure what had happened. It was apparent to him now that earlier was just another nightmare, a horrible memory. But he couldn't...remember, anything. He couldn't think.

"That's good, good." the man whispered as he smiled. "Now do yeh know who I am?" Tig narrowed his eyes, searching his memory again but he was hit by a wave of nausea that made his head spin, the mans hands suddenly moved to steady him, then one went to his neck and the scarred mans brow furrowed in worry. "Shit yeh're pulse is racing, and yeh're burning up." Tig didn't hear him just kept trying to remember, he couldn't believe how angry it made him that he didn't know anything. He shook his head in frustration, more nausea and pain stabbing his head but he kept doing it. The pain appealed to something in him.

"No stop that." The hands were on the side of his face now, tilting his head back, and the warm brown eyes of the other man staring deep into his. "It's alright, yeh had a rough night, and morning apparently" he said with a small laugh and Tig now noticed his accent, it was rough, deep. European, Scottish or Irish maybe?

"Chibs?" he said uncertainly before he even knew what he was saying and when the other man nodded all the pieces of the puzzle were in place and the picture snapped together in Tig's head. "Fuck." he said groaning "You're heavy." Tig mumbled. The strain of thinking straight was actually making his headache worse and he was trying to ride a new wave of nausea.

He retched suddenly hand flying up to cover his mouth and he swallowed the bile with a grimace. Chibs was off him in an instant coming back with a trash can and some water and Tig wondered how he could move so fast. As soon as he took a drink of the water his stomach heaved and whatever was left in his stomach ended up in the trashcan. He pulled away from it, frowning at Chibs when the man sat down uncomfortably next to him, he began to remember the some of the last 24 hours, and he couldn't blame Chibs for being anxious.

"So do yeh remember anything?" The Scot asked quietly.

"Yeah...well most the parts where I wasn't drinking."

"What about when yeh went all psycho on me?" Tig raised an eyebrow. "I mean with the nightmares and all, of your da?"

"How do you...?"

"That last run? That whore you were sleeping with came flying out of that room, said you were crazy. The other guys didn't think much of it. I was uh, I was worried I guess. You were curled up on the bed asleep but mumbling some nonsense, I only caught a word or two. You kept saying "I'm sorry dad." so I just put two and two together." He finished with a shrug of his shoulders, like it was no big deal.

There was an awkward silence, one too strange for Tig. He was gonna leave, he didn't want to talk to Chibs right now, especially when the conversation was gonna lead...there.

He hoisted himself to his feet with a grunt, his muscles were all knotted and pain shot through leg as he took a step. The world spun like a freaking top and his legs started to wobble, if he wasn't sweating before, he was now and suddenly he was in a sauna.

He took another shaky step, and his hands shot out on either side of him looking for something to support his weight but he found nothing...nothing but Chibs.

The Scot was next to him, arm wrapped around his waist holding him up now that his legs were complete jelly. "I don't t'ink yeh should be going anywhere Alex." Tig almost laughed, spend a night with Chibs and the man was already comfortable calling him by his first name.

"I'm fine." he shrugged, the motion sending pins of pain like spider bites across his shoulders and back. Chibs noticed this with a smirk and helped Tig over to the bed, laying him down near the center, Tig didn't protest though he certainly showed his irritation.

Then Chib's was at the foot of the bed untying Tig's boots. Tig ripped his legs away pulling them close "What the fuck are you doing?" Tig said almost horrified.

Chibs turned his heated eyes on Tig, blowing out a huff of air that stirred a strand of his shaggy black hair. "I'm taking off yeh're wet clothes, dumbass. If you hadn't noticed yeh're sick, the flu I'm guessing. And you've been wearing these sopping wet rags since you showed up here in the middle of the night fucking soaked. So if you don't mind would you just shut up and let someone help you for once?"

He went back to Tig's boots before he got an answer, and Tig just watched, at first shocked but then he slowly relaxed. Chibs undressing him was appealing in a strange way. It was that feeling he had buried deep down, the one that had led him to lock lips with Chibs last night. One that he wasn't really sure what it was.

He found it hard to act completely normal as Chibs removed his shirt and cut, unbuckled his pants and removed his jeans. Every time he tried to help or do it himself Chibs swatted his hands away, so Tig stopped trying.

Chibs eventually left him freezing under a fleece blanket, stripped down to his boxers, sweating out every damn drop of water in his body. Chibs brought him some tea, setting it down on the nightstand and he pulled up a chair next to the bed, staring at Tig.

Tig looked at anything but Chibs, a daunting fear of the conversation to come hanging over him. This was not how things were supposed to go. But then again he couldn't expect to just come on to Chibs and have nothing happen that was unrealistic. And he couldn't expect to have some relationship where he just got what he wanted when he wanted and Chibs never said a damn thing. That would only ever happen if somehow people forgot Chibs existed and Tig tied him to a chair, cut out his vocal chords and kept him in some remote location. And quite honestly that was a disturbing thing to do, even for Tig.

"We need to talk." Chibs said quietly. Tig just shook his head.

"Oh bullshit, don't pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about." Tig just pulled the covers up under his nose. "Tigger this is serious. This...thing, whatever it is between you and me, we need to figure it out. Don't ignore me." That last part sounded familiar.

Tig sighed. "I..., ugh I-I, I don't know. It was just, last night, it-it was-" he let out another sigh as memories flickered in his head but not of the short kiss he shared with Chibs, rather of his little 'episode'. He shivered gripping at his head, finger nails digging in, slamming his eyes shut and scrunching up his face trying to force the pictures away. All those damn pictures! Why wouldn't they leave him alone? Why now do they suddenly choose to plague him? As the memories flooded over him he started to lose control again, started to lose his grip on reality.

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Chibs frowned when Tig freaked again, he looked ready to tear his hair out. He started shaking violently and Chibs knew he was losing him again. His heart was ripped from his chest when he heard Tig whimper, a small barely audible whine of pure fear.

He pulled Tigs hands from his hair, the contact brought Tigs attention to him immediately, his blue eyes were a beautiful crystal, still watery and ringed red but somehow even looking like shit those eyes were as stunning as ever.

"You still there?"

"Y-y-yeah." Tig swallowed hard. "I just...Later? I mean can we talk later? I just, I know we have to, but now I ca- I can't. Not now." Chibs stood up abruptly, walking out of the room.

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Tig laid there stunned for a moment that was not the reaction he was hoping for. Concern filled his mind, had he fucked it up already with one request? He didn't think it was too much to ask, but maybe. Shit he fucked up. He knew it.

He buried his head under the covers, facing the wall. If he ended up crying now he wouldn't be surprised. Somehow it seemed like the thing to do even though he never cried. But lets face it, Chibs had just seen him cry more in the past couple hours than he had in over 20 years.

There was creak behind him and the bed dipped, he shot up into a sitting position, turning over and moving too fast the nausea hadn't caught up yet. Chibs was sitting there right next to him, shirtless, in boxers, finishing off a cigarette.

Tig was slacked jaw, more like jaw falling through the bed to the ground floor. Even as his arms burned with the effort of holding him up he didn't move. Chibs put out the cigarette swung his legs onto the bed under the covers and laid back.

"Yeh gonna lay down?"

"I-uh what?"

"Close your mouth Tig and relax. Its my own damn bed if you think I'm sleeping on the couch then your nuts." Tig felt his heart drop just a little, he hadn't even realized that hope for 'something' had sprouted in him. He laid back slowly, staring at the ceiling, he wasn't sure how to act. This was...weird.

"Tig?"

"What?"

"Are yeh cold?"

"Uh, what?"

"You're shaking the whole fucking bed."

"Oh sorry."

"Jesus," Chibs sighed exasperated, sounding annoyed and then he wrapped his arm around Tig, pulling the blanket up to both their necks. The feeling of Chibs so close made him sick, he was really starting to lose it. He never appreciated trash cans as much as he did then, leaning over the bed in a rush, heaving practically nothing into the can. Chibs was sitting up, rubbing circles on his back, murmuring words of comfort. It was strange, this side of Chibs was something he never experienced before.

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He grabbed a wet rag he already had nearby and dabbed Tig's face after he pushed him back into the mattress. The man was sweating like a pig and Chibs was beginning to worry. Even with the flu the symptoms aren't like this. The real reason was whatever nightmares were assaulting Tig, awake and asleep. It made him worry about what it was doing to Tig, the guy had been through enough shit and having the past come and bite his ass was not something he needed. More importantly it pained Chibs to see Tig like this so utterly broken. He was glad though that if Tig had to be broken it was with him.

That was when Tig leaned up and kissed him again. It wasn't desperate and sloppy like the first time, this was soft, tender and intimate, slow and meaningful. Every motion of his lips had a purpose. And this time Chibs met him and kissed back, this time pressing his own tongue into Tig's mouth. Entangling the two, and drawing his tongue around Tig's teeth, exploring every crevice of his mouth.

He moved closer to Tig, sliding his leg over Tig's prone form until he was straddling him. He could feel Tig's growing erection pressing into his thigh and a spike of heat shot to his own dick.

Until Chibs pushed away.

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God it was amazing. He couldn't resist, Chibs was hovering over him, those big brown eyes all sparkly and caring, and damn he sounded like a chick.

The opportunity was there though and he took it, talking was never his thing, he always worked through action. Chibs wanted to talk so here it was, this was Tig talking.

And he assumed Chibs had agreed when he kissed back, when the Scot pushed his tongue into his mouth, with such passion Tig was beginning to wonder if every other kiss he had over the years was really nothing but his lips meeting another's, that there was nothing to it so you couldn't call it a kiss. Chibs was just like that, his movements washed away everything else.

And then he pulled away, and Tig felt horrible. If he hadn't screwed it up earlier he definitely did now. Chibs wasn't one to do something he didn't agree with. But if Chibs didn't want him why kiss back? "Fuck." he cursed as Chibs rolled off of him. Now the Scot was gonna leave, but he didn't he just moved off of Tig but stayed close.

"We can do this later boy-o. Right now, you need to sleep. I ain't interested in getting sick."

"Chibs I'm sor-" Chibs pressed a finger to his lips, amusement dancing at the corners of his mouth.

"We'll talk later. Right now just shut up and sleep. I don't know what this is, and I honestly don't care. Yeh're an asshole Tig, yeh got a trash mouth and yeh'll fuck anything that moves. Supposedly" his grin widened as he arched an eyebrow. "But you're a brother, or so I thought. We got something and I like it. I love yeh, and we'll see where this goes 'eh? I ain't met the real you yet, but I love Tig so why not Alex too? Now shut up yeh little devil and sleep." He leaned down kissing Tig lazily before settling down next to him.

Tig laughed, the ever blunt honesty of Chibs. So he hadn't fucked anything up. "You serious?"

"Go to sleep Tigger." Chibs replied, Tig settled down moving to face the wall, back to Chibs, the feel of the Scots warm side against his skin was comforting.

Chibs reached out an arm to turn off the bedside light, "Leave it on? Please." Tig said quietly, curling into a ball and burying himself under the blanket till only his eyes peeped out over the top. Chibs looked at him sadly, Tig was still scared that was saying something.

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"Sure." And he dropped his hand, turning on his side he slipped his arms around Tigs waist, in between his arms and legs and pulled the shivering man as close as possible, hugging him protectively. He buried his face in Tig's curls, drinking in the scent of the man. He couldn't sleep though, he stayed awake. Not letting his eyes slip close till Tig's breathing evened out and Tig fell asleep. And even then Chibs made sure to sleep lightly. Ready to wake up the minute he was needed, though in his mind he preferred to lay here, holding Tig, forever.

A/N: Reviews are welcome, especially since this is the first slash fic I've ever written.

Stay Frosty.