I don't know how, but the brown eyes and the hair that the sun had bleached, was mine. He ask me out, and I remember it perfectly, the number of texts I got isn't so clear, but I do remember that he was pretending to be his friend, to ask me who I liked more, and who I would rather go out with him, or his friend, and I picked him. That's how I found myself here, in my room with the most miserable depressing songs playing on my iHome, crushed and broken. They say break ups are friends with benefits, but I do not see any benefit in this. I get a text from someone I really didn't want to text right now…him. I'm not even sure I want to GO to the park like he wants me too. I think of his brown eyes as a broken heart, no longer melted chocolate, and his hair artificially highlighted, no longer bleached by the sun, everything I liked about Devin had all disappeared, but I finally felt something for Devin. Honestly, I never really liked him, I just didn't want to reject him, but after I finally realized how nice and sweet he was, I started to finally like him….on Friday, which wasn't good, because I knew he would break up with me today. Tuesday if now my least favorite, choir also plays a part in it too, but he's mostly the reason I hate Tuesdays. I find myself walking down to the park, I sit on the swing and just sway, I try to think about good feelings, but all I feel is broken and torn and unwanted, the exact opposite feelings of when he asked me out. Soon enough I see Steven walk into the park and Devin slowly following behind him on his skateboard. I can't explain the painful feeling when I look at him, even today, I still get it. If you had your heart broken, and you see the person who broke it, you know how I feel. All three of us sit on the hill, so we can look over the short fence and see the cars go by. Devin talks first.
"Can we still be friends?" I almost started crying right then and there, he wanted to be friends, which sounds like a typical guy.
"No…I don't think we can, I'm sorry" I didn't want to get him mad, I just thought he wouldn't care, but he did, and he got really angry. He got up, through his skateboard, walked down to the sidewalk and kicked the fence. Steven talked to me then, and I liked Steven, he was a nice kid and really adorable.
"You know, he's really angry." Well, duh, I knew he was angry.
"Yea, I know, but I don't think I can be friends, it'll be too hard." As we got deeper into the conversation, Devin came back and apologized, he talked to me. After a long discussion, I decided that we could be friends. After that he apologized to me with a flower, and Steven asked me out with a rose, of course, I said yes. I never knew the real reason he broke up with me, until 7th grade my friend told me that he told her that the real reason he broke up with me, was because I was obsessive, and I never would have guessed that two years from that same day, I would still cry about him. Now, I do think of his eyes as melted chocolate and his hair bleached by the sun. Every time I see that stupid smile of him, it brings me back to the Tuesday that he asked me out. There are different things about him now, braces, contacts, he has longer hair, but I can still see the same old nerdy looking guy I met on the first day of school.